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I have never had a girlfriend... 23 years old... where to find a chick?
  • Profile picture of the author butters
    Sits here thinking how to not ruin a potentially great thread :p
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  • Profile picture of the author BigFrank
    Banned
    Originally Posted by andy877 View Post

    I have never had a girlfriend... 23 years old... where to find a chick?
    If you relate to them as 'chicks' you probably have another 23 years of self-abuse ahead of you.

    Cheers. - Frank
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    • Profile picture of the author butters
      Originally Posted by BigFrank View Post

      If you relate to them as 'chicks' you probably have another 23 years of self-abuse ahead of you.

      Cheers. - Frank
      Here is the maths

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    • Profile picture of the author Cali16
      Originally Posted by BigFrank View Post

      If you relate to them as 'chicks' you probably have another 23 years of self-abuse ahead of you.
      Not to mention, thinking of those "chicks" as primarily for sex... No wonder he's not having any luck with women...

      Sorry, no sympathy from this "chick"!
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      • Profile picture of the author AnniePot
        I'm sure this "chick" would welcome you with open arms

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          • Profile picture of the author Karen Blundell
            let's see the thread title is called "lack of sex" and then you refer to ladies as chicks so I assume your only motivation to meet a "chick" is for sex - correct me if I am wrong.

            If I'm not wrong, here's what I predict: you're going to be alone for a very long time or you'll get your sex eventually - but you'll never have a meaningful relationship with a woman until you stop referring to them as "chicks"...
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        • Profile picture of the author w3a5t4
          i actually just puked in my mouth...
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  • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
    Originally Posted by andy877 View Post

    I have never had a girlfriend... 23 years old... where to find a chick?
    Follow Kurt around. Every girl he's ever dated...immediately after dating him...looks for anybody to save them.

    Talk about low hanging fruit! (Which was what they called Kurt in High School)
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  • Profile picture of the author TLTheLiberator
    Originally Posted by andy877 View Post

    I have never had a girlfriend... 23 years old... where to find a chick?
    Its a numbers game.

    Go where the ladies are and sit tight.

    Keep doing that enough times and at least one of them will let you know it's OK.
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    "It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. -- Mark Twain

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  • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
    Originally Posted by andy877 View Post

    I have never had a girlfriend... 23 years old... where to find a chick?
    OK, really...

    Be nice to them. Listen to what they are saying. Be nice to their friends. Take daily showers. Brush your teeth.

    Remember, at least 25% of all single girls, are actively looking for a boyfriend. Girls are everywhere.

    And I was 19 before I ever kissed a girl. 23 is no big deal.

    If you turn 36 like Dan Riffle, and all women still find you repugnant...like Dan Riffle....then you can worry.
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  • Profile picture of the author discrat
    Originally Posted by andy877 View Post

    I have never had a girlfriend... 23 years old... where to find a chick?
    When I saw that Title of yours, I said this guy fits perfect down here in the basement
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  • Profile picture of the author yukon
    Banned
    Lower your standards.

    Settle for less.
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    • Profile picture of the author butters
      Originally Posted by yukon View Post

      Lower your standards.

      Settle for less.


      How low do you go!!
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      • Profile picture of the author yukon
        Banned
        Originally Posted by butters View Post



        How low do you go!!























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        • Profile picture of the author butters
          Originally Posted by yukon View Post

          Id be all over that like butter on toast
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          • Profile picture of the author yukon
            Banned
            Originally Posted by butters View Post

            Id be all over that like butter on toast

            Watch the crazy eHarmony cat lady video I posted earlier.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
    I think what we've learned so far is broads don't like to be called chicks. Which is somewhat odd since women his age refer to each other affectionately as "hookers." At least, that's what I've gleaned from watching an occasional few minutes of the CW.


    That said, OP, if you want to find a woman, drop the xbox controller, get a decent job, exercise, maybe do some charity work, and occasionally take your mother out for dinner. You'll be locked down before you know what hit you. Don't say I didn't warn you.
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  • Profile picture of the author candoit2
    Originally Posted by andy877 View Post

    I have never had a girlfriend... 23 years old... where to find a chick?
    Get a gay friend. "Chicks" will find it sexy if a straight guy is secure enough to hang out with a gay dude.

    Hot chicks (queen bee) always has one gay guy in her hive. She will also have a group of girls that follow the queen.

    There will be a straggler who hangs with the group. She will be cute, but chubby.

    Remember they need one to complete the group, so don't worry one will come along or end up getting fat and fall into that token position eventually.

    That will be your target.

    As soon as you can break her away from the hive, and go for "romantic" walks.

    After 2 months transition to jogging. Wait 2 weeks later tell her how great it is and invite her.(want to be non obvious about this)

    2 months after that transition into a healthier diet as you get more serious about your passion for jogging.

    She will follow along,as girls do in this situation especially if they are the follower. Give her a king to follow instead of a queen. Help her, this is what she needs and wants and inevitably does is follow. Just lead.

    The best part is you will get her to drop the pounds while gaining attachment and bonding to you. When you recognize that has happened get a ring on her asap.

    By now you are tired of jogging and eating like a health nut and want real food and to watch some tv.

    Get her pregnant.

    After a few weeks she won't feel up to jogging anymore and will want to eat different foods.

    Now you can let yourself go. She can't judge you while she is getting fat herself.

    Try to get all this done before your hair also falls out or that will complicate the process further.

    Hopefully by now you will have memorized her name and will not refer to her as a chick.


    For further research watch movies like "mean girls" etc to understand the dynamics of the hive .

    It will also help if you learn how to piss women off but still appear a bit simple and vulnerable. They want a guy who pisses them off but they feel smarter than and who they think they can mold.

    Let them think they are molding you while you lead them.

    Re-read this post for inspiration on how to piss off women if you are not sure how to do it.

    If there is one thing to know about women is if you don't frustrate them often enough they will be thinking about the guy who does. Keep yourself in their head and you'll end up in their bed.
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    • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
      Originally Posted by candoit2 View Post

      Get a gay friend. "Chicks" will find it sexy if a straight guy is secure enough to hang out with a gay dude.

      Hot chicks (queen bee) always has one gay guy in her hive. She will also have a group of girls that follow the queen.

      There will be a straggler who hangs with the group. She will be cute, but chubby.

      Remember they need one to complete the group, so don't worry one will come along or end up getting fat and fall into that token position eventually.

      That will be your target.

      As soon as you can break her away from the hive, and go for "romantic" walks.

      After 2 months transition to jogging. Wait 2 weeks later tell her how great it is and invite her.(want to be non obvious about this)

      2 months after that transition into a healthier diet as you get more serious about your passion for jogging.

      She will follow along,as girls do in this situation especially if they are the follower. Give her a king to follow instead of a queen. Help her, this is what she needs and wants and inevitably does is follow. Just lead.

      The best part is you will get her to drop the pounds while gaining attachment and bonding to you. When you recognize that has happened get a ring on her asap.

      By now you are tired of jogging and eating like a health nut and want real food and to watch some tv.

      Get her pregnant.

      After a few weeks she won't feel up to jogging anymore and will want to eat different foods.

      Now you can let yourself go. She can't judge you while she is getting fat herself.

      Try to get all this done before your hair also falls out or that will complicate the process further.

      Hopefully by now you will have memorized her name and will not refer to her as a chick.


      For further research watch movies like "mean girls" etc to understand the dynamics of the hive .

      It will also help if you learn how to piss women off but still appear a bit simple and vulnerable. They want a guy who pisses them off but they feel smarter than and who they think they can mold.

      Let them think they are molding you while you lead them.

      Re-read this post for inspiration on how to piss off women if you are not sure how to do it.

      If there is one thing to know about women is if you don't frustrate them often enough they will be thinking about the guy who does. Keep yourself in their head and you'll end up in their bed.
      LOL, l was going to say WTF, but realised that this was a bit of satire.

      "Piss of Women", Claude's second novel!

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  • Profile picture of the author WalkingCarpet
    Banned
    Ok here's the thing.
    Chicks look for only 2 things- Ur Wallet and ur Willie.
    If you have ample amounts of one or the other ur good to go.
    Also a bit of bicep doesn't hurt either.
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    I have no objections to the term "chicks". We used it liberally in high school (to show you how old the colloquialism is). I do take objection to only sex being the reason listed that you want a female companion.

    You don't need a "chick" or a girlfriend - go get yourself a hooker. That's what they are for. Stop worrying about a real date until you're heads on straight enough to be one yourself.
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    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
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    • Profile picture of the author WalkingCarpet
      Banned
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      I have no objections to the term "chicks". We used it liberally in high school (to show you how old the colloquialism is). I do take objection to only sex being the reason listed that you want a female companion.

      You don't need a "chick" or a girlfriend - go get yourself a hooker. That's what they are for. Stop worrying about a real date until you're heads on straight enough to be one yourself.
      problem with hookers is they spread ebola nowadays
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      • Profile picture of the author BigFrank
        Banned
        Originally Posted by WalkingCarpet View Post

        problem with hookers is they spread ebola nowadays
        And, apparently the necessity for a person to spread ridiculous drivel in online forums.

        Cheers. - Frank
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      • Profile picture of the author HeySal
        Originally Posted by WalkingCarpet View Post

        problem with hookers is they spread ebola nowadays
        Yikes. Um..........Ebola is only in about 3 countries. How'd ya get lucky enough to be in one of them? Hope you find true love so ya don't need to pack.
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        Sal
        When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
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        • Profile picture of the author WalkingCarpet
          Banned
          Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

          Yikes. Um..........Ebola is only in about 3 countries. How'd ya get lucky enough to be in one of them? Hope you find true love so ya don't need to pack.
          No ebola here, but I read somewhere ebola can spread through intercourse
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  • Profile picture of the author TLTheLiberator
    I don't know how a guy can go from having sex and then become a priest who abstains.
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    "It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. -- Mark Twain

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  • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
    Banned
    Here ya go


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      • Profile picture of the author discrat
        Since I was a young man I have never had any problem picking up women. I did not do anything special when I was younger to get loads of women.

        I would just sit back at the bar, have a drink, shoot the bull with people, comb my hair and lick my eyebrows, and for some reason the babes would come flocking to me
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        • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
          Originally Posted by discrat View Post

          Since I was a young man I have never had any problem picking up women.
          Well, yeah. Didn't you just club 'em and drag 'em back to your cave back then?
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          Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.

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        • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
          Originally Posted by discrat View Post

          Since I was a young man I have never had any problem picking up women.
          I never had a real problem picking up women either...as long as they weren't too heavy. Lately, picking them up is more of a struggle. I attribute that to age, and lack of exercise.




          Originally Posted by discrat View Post

          I did not do anything special when I was younger to get loads of women.
          I never really got my women by the load. It was usually one at a time. Is there a discount when you get them by the load?
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        • Profile picture of the author BigFrank
          Banned
          Originally Posted by discrat View Post

          Since I was a young man I have never had any problem picking up women. I did not do anything special when I was younger to get loads of women.
          Well, driving a taxi does have its benefits.

          Cheers. - Frank
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  • Profile picture of the author n3o
    join some adult dating site
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  • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
    Banned
    May I suggest that if you're 23 and never had a girlfriend, looking for someone to have sex with is as simple as hiring a hooker. If you're unsuccessful at developing relationships with women, and it sounds like you don't have a clue that stalking women for sex for 23 years is not the best approach, then there's other things you need to take care of ... like learning to respect women, for one.

    In addition, here's some questions for you.

    1. Do you brush your teeth regularly?
    2. Do you bathe regularly?
    3. Do you perform other grooming tasks such as shaving or trimming facial hair, nails, nose hair, etc?
    4. Are your socks and underwear clean?
    5. Do you dress like a slob?
    6. Do you smell good?
    7. Can you hold an intelligent conversation?
    8. Do you even know what girls like to do on a date?
    9. Do you know that a date does not mean automatic sex?
    10. Are you cheap? Is your ideal date parking on a dark, spooky rural road so you can grope and manhandle your date?
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    • Profile picture of the author BigFrank
      Banned
      Originally Posted by sbucciarel View Post

      In addition, here's some questions for you.

      1. Do you brush your teeth regularly?
      Yes - both of them.
      2. Do you bathe regularly?
      That's why they invented 'leap year.'
      3. Do you perform other grooming tasks such as shaving or trimming facial hair, nails, nose hair, etc?
      I regularly remove the lice from my back hair.
      4. Are your socks and underwear clean?
      They taste clean.
      5. Do you dress like a slob?
      When I do dress, probably.
      6. Do you smell good?
      Is Eau de Poop, good?
      7. Can you hold an intelligent conversation?
      Hold it in what?
      8. Do you even know what girls like to do on a date?
      No. Are you offering to teach me?
      9. Do you know that a date does not mean automatic sex?
      If it does for you, why is it not the same for me?
      10. Are you cheap? Is your ideal date parking on a dark, spooky rural road so you can grope and manhandle your date?
      Oh, I did not know that my reputation preceded me.

      Cheers. - Frank
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      • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
        Banned
        Originally Posted by BigFrank View Post

        Yes - both of them.
        That's why they invented 'leap year.'
        I regularly remove the lice from my back hair.
        They taste clean.
        When do I dress, probably.
        Is Eau de Poop, good?
        Hold it in what?
        No. Are you offering to teach me?
        If it does for you, why is it not the same for me?
        Oh, I did not know that my reputation preceded me.

        Cheers. - Frank
        Thank you for filling out my questionnaire. Now when do we go for that ride on a dark, spooky rural road in your BMW convertible with the top down?
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        • Profile picture of the author BigFrank
          Banned
          Originally Posted by sbucciarel View Post

          Thank you for filling out my questionnaire. Now when do we go for that ride on a dark, spooky rural road in your BMW convertible with the top down?
          You ain't buckled-up, yet. :-) You'll need to lose that cigar, though. I hate feeling inadequate on my first date.

          Cheers. - Frank
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          • Profile picture of the author discrat
            Originally Posted by BigFrank View Post

            You ain't buckled-up, yet. :-) You'll need to lose that cigar, though. I hate feeling inadequate on my first date.

            Cheers. - Frank
            She's just preparing for you Frank with that Cigar...i.e. old, stodgy, and a rather offensive odor
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      • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
        Originally Posted by BigFrank View Post

        9. Do you know that a date does not mean automatic sex?

        If it does for you, why is it not the same for me?


        Cheers. - Frank
        Damn you Frank. Your answer was better than mine.
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        • Profile picture of the author BigFrank
          Banned
          Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

          Damn you Frank. Your answer was better than mine.
          I do offer coaching. :-)

          Cheers. - Frank
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  • Profile picture of the author chrisnos
    Originally Posted by andy877 View Post

    I have never had a girlfriend... 23 years old... where to find a chick?
    Why do you want a girlfriend so badly? Why not meet and have sex with lots of women while you can?
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by chrisnos View Post

      Why do you want a girlfriend so badly? Why not meet and have sex with lots of women while you can?

      Yes, because it's so much easier to talk lots of women into having sex with you...that to talk one into going out with you.
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      • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        Yes, because it's so much easier to talk lots of women into having sex with you...that to talk one into going out with you.
        And thats why you go to the Wooster Municipal Rotary & Swingers Club.
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      • Profile picture of the author AnniePot
        The OP is the guy 55 seconds in with most of his teeth missing.

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  • Profile picture of the author Jack Gordon
    Since you are asking for dating advice on a marketing forum, I see two possible roads to go down.

    1) Pay attention to everyone explaining how you make yourself appealing to women. Consider it a marketing exercise. Your product is you, and women are your target market.

    2) Focus on marketing other stuff and make lots of money. It won't bring you long term happiness in the love department, but it will buy you plenty of sex.

    So I hear.

    From Claude.

    And Riffle.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jennifer Hutson
    Clearly, you're not using enough Sex Panther. They say 60% of the time it works every time.

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  • Profile picture of the author tryinhere
    Here is your dream girl

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    | > Choosing to go off the grid for a while to focus on family, work and life in general. Have a great 2020 < |
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    • Profile picture of the author discrat
      Originally Posted by tryinhere View Post

      Here is your dream girl

      Hey, Hey, hey...there are women and children in here
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      • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
        Originally Posted by discrat View Post

        Hey, Hey, hey...there are women and children in here

        What's interesting to me,is my reaction to the photo....and my next reaction...when I saw the evidence. Amazing how she turned from "Wowsa!" to "I thought she was manly, right from the start. Yucko!"
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        • Profile picture of the author discrat
          Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

          What's interesting to me,is my reaction to the photo....and my next reaction...when I saw the evidence. Amazing how she turned from "Wowsa!" to "I thought she was manly, right from the start. Yucko!"
          yeah me too. But other than the crotch thing I did also notice after further studying that the cheek bones are a little longer and more pronounced than a biological woman
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        • Profile picture of the author Jack Gordon
          Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

          What's interesting to me,is my reaction to the photo....and my next reaction...when I saw the evidence. Amazing how she turned from "Wowsa!" to "I thought she was manly, right from the start. Yucko!"
          I had the same reaction, and thought about it a little.

          The photo grabs you by the, well you know, and makes you look at it from the middle up, then allows you to slowly work your way back down. It would have taken quite a while before I noticed that damning little piece of evidence at the bottom, just because the rest is so alluring.

          If "she" was unattractive? I'll bet our brains would have been much more receptive to seeing it.
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          • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
            Originally Posted by Jack Gordon View Post

            I had the same reaction, and thought about it a little.

            The photo grabs you by the, well you know, and makes you look at it from the middle up, then allows you to slowly work your way back down. It would have taken quite a while before I noticed that damning little piece of evidence at the bottom, just because the rest is so alluring.

            If "she" was unattractive? I'll bet our brains would have been much more receptive to seeing it.
            Maybe. I just think it's interesting how the perception changes instantly. Like a switch being flipped.

            Years ago, on Howard Stern, they had a guest lady that was very beautiful. The guys that worked there (3 or 4) all were gawking at her, and telling her how beautiful she was. Stern got them to say that they would absolutely love to make love with her.

            The lady stood up, and revealed proof that she was a man. The guys all instantly said that they knew, and were not really interested. The denial was fun to watch.
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        • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
          Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

          What's interesting to me,is my reaction to the photo....and my next reaction...when I saw the evidence. Amazing how she turned from "Wowsa!" to "I thought she was manly, right from the start. Yucko!"
          Oh youve met Yucko. He/She speaks highly of you. (Kurt told me that)
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        • Profile picture of the author TimPhelan
          Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

          What's interesting to me,is my reaction to the photo....and my next reaction...when I saw the evidence. Amazing how she turned from "Wowsa!" to "I thought she was manly, right from the start. Yucko!"
          A few months back I was trying out being an Uber driver in San Francisco to make a little extra money and see how I liked it. Well, one night I picked up a couple guys who were on their way to a night on the town. We approached a tall, long legged, short skirt wearing blonde walking on the left.

          The guy asked me to roll down the window, I did and then he yelled out "Hey baby!!!" It was right when he got "baby" out that we passed and noticed it was a man. The guys friend and I laughed our ass off. I told him "hey, it's San Francisco. You never know what you're going to see."
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  • Profile picture of the author powerofschool
    Just Go on the Internet and Search for one. YOu can get ASAP.
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  • To begin with you either have "it" or you don't. This will always transcend aesthetics.


    Yes, it's probably such a rush executing a precise well crafted move in getting that hot leggy blonde into bed to do with as you like etc.


    But paying for sex is also a veritable option and takes a lot less effort and no drama afterwards. All you need to bring is respect and money.


    Why try so hard going to great lengths trying to play the game then?
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    • Profile picture of the author andy877
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