Grieving - Death of a Family Member

by GGpaul
10 replies
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Hey folks,

I recently lost my father 2 months ago.... I was wondering what did you do / currently do when you lost your loved one?

For me,
- Spending a lot of time at Disneyland
- Spending a lot of time with my mom
- Reflecting a lot about myself..
- Keeping myself busy (internet marketing..)
- Gym / working out.
- Spending time with close friends and family.


I was thinking of picking up a new hobby or traveling. What about you guys?
  • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
    Iost mine about 15 years ago, not easy, but time really does heal all wounds!

    I woke up early the day after and bawled my eyes out and took a walk, but l did see a duck family near the water, so that helped a little.

    Yeah, bury yourself in your work, and don't hold it in, even if you go to the jym and go a few rounds with a punching bad, whatever works for you?

    Take care.
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  • Profile picture of the author Xochitl Shat
    I concur with you. Traveling is the most ideal options to beat your losing distress.
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    • Profile picture of the author ksmusselman
      My deepest condolences.

      My mother passed away in 1997 at the young age of 63.

      After she was gone, I really started getting nostalgic about family and made it my mission to try to get us all back into a traditional family reunion like it was when I was little.

      So far, I've "met" or reintroduced myself to almost all of my family - and it's a BIG family - via Facebook and hopefully more of them, if not all of them, will be at this year's reunion.
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      • Profile picture of the author Morna Donaghue
        Banned
        You need all the time you need to recover, the situation is not easy to deal with. While others show a strong front, I am certain how difficult it is to endure it. While we grieve, we must not forget that although our beloved departed, we did not. Slowly, move on.
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  • Profile picture of the author laurencewins
    Allow yourself time to grieve or you'll feel bad for longer. While both mine are still around, I can appreciate the loss you are feeling. Don't bottle things up. Find somebody to talk to who won't judge you.

    I know that time will ease the pain but it will never disappear.
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    Cheers, Laurence.
    Writer/Editor/Proofreader.

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  • Profile picture of the author Rod Cortez
    Originally Posted by GGpaul View Post

    Hey folks,

    I recently lost my father 2 months ago.... I was wondering what did you do / currently do when you lost your loved one?

    For me,
    - Spending a lot of time at Disneyland
    - Spending a lot of time with my mom
    - Reflecting a lot about myself..
    - Keeping myself busy (internet marketing..)
    - Gym / working out.
    - Spending time with close friends and family.


    I was thinking of picking up a new hobby or traveling. What about you guys?
    Sorry for your loss. It's always tough losing someone close to you. Everyone handles death differently and ultimately you need to do what's right for you and what's going to help you grieve and heal.

    When I lost my 20 year old sister to cancer over 18 years ago one of the best things I did for myself was allow myself to grieve. And for me that meant crying out loud. I found that allowing myself to just let loose when I felt really sad was very helpful.

    I did all the things you're doing now and I think that's smart. Keep doing those things because living your life and moving forward is very important. Another thing that helped me was focusing on the good memories that I had with my sister. I chose not to think about her thin, frail, and bald, lying in bed in the hospital. I chose to remember the times we took her to places like Disneyland, all the meals we had together, all the times we laughed and acted silly, and her sense of humor (she made everyone laugh).

    Focus on the good times you had with your father and realize that there is no set time on grieving. No two people are alike in that regard.

    My condolences to you and your family.

    RoD
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    "Your personal philosophy is the greatest determining factor in how your life works out."
    - Jim Rohn
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  • Profile picture of the author writeaway
    You might want to CELEBRATE his life

    Look over photos

    Think of memories

    Ask yourself 'What kind of life would he have WANTED for me'?

    It may hurt. It may be upsetting.

    But a PHOENIX can only rise from ashes

    Be a better person from the grief

    Live more. Laugh more.LOVE more.

    Your father wouldn't have wanted any other way
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  • Profile picture of the author GGpaul
    Thanks guys. As you may know, father's day is coming up. This is going to be a VERY difficult time for myself but I try to just reflect on all the wonderful things that he's done for me.
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    RIP Dad Oct 14 1954 - Mar 14 2015.

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    • Profile picture of the author Mike Anthony
      Originally Posted by GGpaul View Post

      Thanks guys. As you may know, father's day is coming up. This is going to be a VERY difficult time for myself but I try to just reflect on all the wonderful things that he's done for me.
      Truly sorry to hear my man especially since I know not too long ago you lost a close friend. My suggestion - skip father's day this year entirely. plan something else where there will be no reminders. All you have been doing is reflecting and that wound is still very fresh. Maybe go somewhere fun and outdoors with no father's day celebrations.
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  • Profile picture of the author Ben West
    I dealt with it by indulging in 7 years of depression and anxiety. But I was young, and no one pointed me in the direction of grief counselling.

    On that note, if there is anyone in here (even you Paul) struggling with grief, get some counselling. It's worth it, and if not taken care of early, grief can grow into something much worse.
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