Feel like stabbing yourself in the mouth? Eat Doritos!

by dustinlemos

Posted: 16 years ago 7 replies

OFF TOPIC

I just opened a bag of Doritos for the first time in ages, and just about every bite I took seemed to shove a jagged chip-shard right into the roof of my mouth. How do these guys stay in business?

Michael Mason 16 years ago

That's happened to me a few times before, I take a bite and the chip breaks and stabs my gums....one time I even bled a little. However, I think Doritos will stay in business because the chips taste good! I have always liked the different flavors and will continue to eat Doritos.

PS. Has anyone tried Smokey Red BBQ Doritos before? They were really good and used to be my favorite flavor, but they stopped making that kind. I wish they would bring them back.
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HarveyJ Banned 16 years ago

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- ThomM 16 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by HarveyJ
  
  If a corn chip of any stripe is making your gums bleed, I think it's time you went and saw a dentist.
  
  It happens.
  I had a potato chip go sideways and gave me the chip's version of a paper cut.
  
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- Cerys 16 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by HarveyJ
  
  If a corn chip of any stripe is making your gums bleed, I think it's time you went and saw a dentist.
  
  It has nothing to do with gum disease, but mechanical injury from a sharp and stiff piece of chip either scraping or stabbing the gum. No matter how healthy your gums, they can't stand up to abrasions like that!
  
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  HeySal 16 years ago
  
  Feel like stabbing yourself in the mouth?
  
  Uhhh........No.
  
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  Gary Mader 16 years ago
  
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John M Kane 16 years ago

Doritos were formulated by DR Josef Mengele' using 1 part Zyklon B, a dash of oregano, and the following :Sugar, , glucose syrup, gum Arabic, hydrogenated coconut oil, malic acid, tartbic acid, citric acid, manioc starch, artificial flavors, gellan gum, sucrose esters of fatty acids, artificial colors (yello 5, lake blue 1, blue 1), glazing agents (carnauba wax, shellac)(which today is known as "Sour/Green Mentos")

The secret had been acquired in Argentina by a investment club comprised of Dentists, Vegan butchers, colonists,tabbaconist's and foot detox pad MLMer's from Cleveland,OH.

Throughout the years many members died from bizzare accidents
The last sole surviving member who you may remember as the dentist "Jerry Robinson" from the Bob Newhart show recently died after a Dorito chip severed his palate and was driven so deep it totally severed his brain stem. The result was an acute cardio pulmonary embolism.

The pathologist deduced that "Jerry" had tried to dislodge the "chip" with a healthy dose of his Pepsi soft drink.
Nick Riviera, M.D from Springfield expressed confidence that he expired quickly with very little pain.

He might have had a snowball chance in HE double hockey sticks if he would have know of the youtube videos about the hazzards (not Dukes of) of mixing Pepsi with the Mentos' formulation.

The housekeeper that found him is currently in a catatonic state in Belleview due to the shock of witnessing "Jerry's" demise.

The poor woman continually says "Must...buy...more...WSO's" over and over and over...
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Frank Ayres 16 years ago

Perhaps some of us enjoy pain!
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