Advise on How To Propose to your Girl!

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My girlfriend is so special and I love her so much, I want to marry her soon. But I really don't know how to propose to her. Please give me some advise on how to make my proposal unique and special.:confused:
  • Profile picture of the author Arted4Life
    I had a friend who decided then when he was ready to propose, he would take his girl scuba diving around Florida and he would have a specially trained Dolphin bring the ring to her.

    I don't know if you heard about this, but one guy proposed to his wife by taking apart the computer game Bejeweled and when she reached a certain level the game popped open a message with the "Will you Marry me?".

    While you probably couldn't do either of these (and you don't have to, to be successful) what you should do is to think about your Girl and think "what does she like to do?" Does she love to go to the movies? Maybe you could put an ad before the movie asking her to marry you?

    Every proposal should be tailored to what your Girlfriend likes to do. Taking her out to a restaurant is ok too, but that's over done and she'll see it coming. Do something special that has to do with something she likes to do. That will make it memorable, and very special.

    Just do what you think will be different and unique.

    I wish you the best of luck in your brainstorming.

    Also Congratulations on finding someone who you love enough to want to marry them. Good for you.

    Make sure you update this when you proposed to tell us what you did. We want to know what happened.

    PS- If you could have someone discretely follow you that day to take pictures when you propose, your girlfriend will appreciate it years later that she has pictures to look at of when you proposed. Something people rarely ever have pictures off.
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  • Profile picture of the author snazzie
    I have a mate who just proposed to his gf. She has a collection of soft toys, so he bought a bear whos arms fold across his chest, but you can open them wide like he's asking for a hug. Then he got a mate to make a shirt for the bear with "will you marry me?" written on it. When he gave the bear to his gf, she opened the arms, read the question, and he pulled the ring out of his pocket.

    Of course she said yes.

    My point, apart from that being a really sweet story, arted4life is 100% correct. You need to take something important in your gf's life and work that into the proposal.

    And indeed, congrads on finding your "the one"
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    • Profile picture of the author Crystal brian
      To Propose to your girlfriend on a lower budget, Maybe plan a quiet night in the house, Cook her an amazing dinner. Dim the lights and make it a candlelit dinner. Romance!! Smile across the table for her, look into her eyes as she speaks- Embrace the moment. After dinner, share with her how she has changed your life. Let her know how truly special she is. Let her know how blessed YOU are to have her in your life. Speak from your heart, and at any point get on your knee, in front of her and ask her to marry you.

      It's not really about WHAT you do to propose, it's about HOW you do it. You can make a a simple proposal amazing- You just need to speak from your heart. Women LOVE the little things, and number ONE on the list is kindness, and letting us know how much you truly love and appreciate us.
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Hey Rudolph! That's fantastic news.

    Do, by all means, try to think of something very unique to her, but don't get too stressed over this issue. If she is dreaming of the day you ask her you aren't likely to
    be able to mess it up so badly as to ruin it for her. She'll be able to tell thought was put into it --- so relax and have a great time with it.

    My only suggestion is, please do not hide the ring in food - that has a way of going very badly.
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    Sal
    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
    Beyond the Path

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  • Profile picture of the author xtreme newbie
    Rudolph-

    What a great question to post here on WF! You have some great advice from other members so let me just add that it's less about what you do and all about what you say and how you make your girlfriend feel. Frankly if you just said what you put in your post, that's a pretty amazing proposal script already:-)

    Women, no matter what they might say, like some romance about the whole proposal process - great ask (on bended knee is good), a show of affection, a token of your promise (ring or whatever you decide) and just plain being yourself cause that's who your girlfriend really wants.

    Good luck and hope you'll give an update when she says "yes"!
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    • Profile picture of the author clint48
      Rudolph, tell her she is special and you love her, then ask her to marry you,that is all you need to say. Just make sure you never forget how special she is and how lucky you are to have her and you will be just fine.

      Clint
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  • Profile picture of the author HelenS
    I have been lucky enough to be asked twice (by the same guy, he is very sweet to me)

    1st. A picnic in a park on the beach.
    2nd. On a weekend away in Paris.

    It was the things he said that meant the most and although I was so excited I cant actually remember them I remember how it made me felt and thats what we will both never forget!

    Now after 12 years together and 2 children we might actually get married haha
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  • Profile picture of the author haikuangel
    How about this: You can go to your ministers church and bring your girl there for a "typical sunday mass" then you can ask your minister to queue the choir in the middle of sermon and have them sing a custom composition of your marriage proposal then go down on your knees and pop the big question!
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Motley
    Why do you want to marry her?

    You're already getting sex
    You're already living good (and can do pretty much anything married couples can do such as buy a house together)
    If its about behing beholden to nobody but her, a piece of paper wont change that.
    If she wants a ring, they can be bought.

    But the facts are that 50% of marriages end in divorce, and i guarantee you that you know more men that have gotten the shaft in a divorce than women you know.

    Marriage is not beneficial for a man in any way.
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    • Profile picture of the author HeySal
      Originally Posted by Michael Motley View Post

      Why do you want to marry her?

      You're already getting sex
      You're already living good (and can do pretty much anything married couples can do such as buy a house together)
      If its about behing beholden to nobody but her, a piece of paper wont change that.
      If she wants a ring, they can be bought.

      But the facts are that 50% of marriages end in divorce, and i guarantee you that you know more men that have gotten the shaft in a divorce than women you know.

      Marriage is not beneficial for a man in any way.
      CONGRATULATIONS - you just won the Warrior Dickhead of the Month Award - which goes to the most insensitive, chauvanistic, and generally disgusting poster of the month. It is not hard to see how maybe you don't bring the best out in the women you experience.

      And I can say from the Females of the crowd that in divorces it's not always the guy that gets the shaft.
      A relationship can go very wrong - but they can go very, very right, too.

      50% of marriages don't end until "death do they part". I know a lot of very happily married couples who have been that way since the day that they met the love of their lives.
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      Sal
      When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
      Beyond the Path

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      • Profile picture of the author Michael Motley
        Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

        CONGRATULATIONS - you just won the Warrior Dickhead of the Month Award - which goes to the most insensitive, chauvanistic, and generally disgusting poster of the month. It is not hard to see how maybe you don't bring the best out in the women you experience.

        And I can say from the Females of the crowd that in divorces it's not always the guy that gets the shaft.
        A relationship can go very wrong - but they can go very, very right, too.

        50% of marriages don't end until "death do they part". I know a lot of very happily married couples who have been that way since the day that they met the love of their lives.
        yes yes, i know its chauvanistic to NOT want to give a woman half my paycheck or half my assets while she lives in the house I bought.

        that whole 1 guy you know that got the good end of a divorce doesnt make up for the 10,000 others that are living in efficiency apartments and get to see their kids 1 weekend a month.
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Just won a second month of the award and I'm adding a flying finger award in with it.

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    .........\.......... ..... ..\/..../
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    Sal
    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
    Beyond the Path

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    • Profile picture of the author Dave Patterson
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      Just won a second month of the award and I'm adding a flying finger award in with it.

      ..................... ... /´ /)
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      Calm down Sal...

      After all...you don't have to go home to him.
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      • Profile picture of the author HeySal
        Originally Posted by Dave Patterson View Post

        Calm down Sal...

        After all...you don't have to go home to him.
        Where I come from they run strays off with b-b guns.
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        Sal
        When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
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        • Profile picture of the author Dave Patterson
          Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

          Where I come from they run strays off with b-b guns.
          From here it sounded more like a 12 gauge shell being pumped into the chamber...
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    • Profile picture of the author Michael Motley
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      Just won a second month of the award and I'm adding a flying finger award in with it.

      ..................... ... /´ /)
      .....................,.../¯..//
      ......................../....//
      ......................,/¯ ..//
      ...................../... ./ /
      ............./´¯/' ...'/´¯`•¸
      ........../'/.../... ./... ..../¨¯ )
      ................... ..... ../..../
      ..........''....... ..... . _.•´
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      This is me caring.

      So you're saying you dont mind signing a prenup and if things go south you walk out with what you walked in with and nothing else?
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      • Profile picture of the author HeySal
        Originally Posted by Michael Motley View Post

        This is me caring.

        So you're saying you dont mind signing a prenup and if things go south you walk out with what you walked in with and nothing else?
        No I wouldn't mind that one darned bit - and after what I have been through with mooching men, I'd insist on the same from him - But I'm not going to hold it against the whole male population because my brains went through my intestines over a loser.

        It's one thing to tell him to make sure to keep his business head while he follows his heart - it's another to bitch and moan for him to use the woman he loves just because some folks choose badly or are incapable of holding a normal relationship. I'm sure a lot of men get ripped off - but women not only get ripped off, many get beaten to a pulp in the meantime. You talk like women are nothing more than livestock to use as you see fit, and I'm sorry, feeling one sex is beneath you or just around for your convenience is just a neanderthal state of consciousness.
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        Sal
        When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
        Beyond the Path

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        • Profile picture of the author Michael Motley
          Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

          No I wouldn't mind that one darned bit - and after what I have been through with mooching men, I'd insist on the same from him - But I'm not going to hold it against the whole male population because my brains went through my intestines over a loser.

          It's one thing to tell him to make sure to keep his business head while he follows his heart - it's another to bitch and moan for him to use the woman he loves just because some folks choose badly or are incapable of holding a normal relationship. I'm sure a lot of men get ripped off - but women not only get ripped off, many get beaten to a pulp in the meantime. You talk like women are nothing more than livestock to use as you see fit, and I'm sorry, feeling one sex is beneath you or just around for your convenience is just a neanderthal state of consciousness.
          Nobody said anything about being 'beneath' anyone. Don't project that baggage this way sister.

          How is am i telling him to 'use' her. Are you saying he doesnt really love her unless its on paper and pays 3 times his monthly net pay for a ring to marry her?
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          • Profile picture of the author Kay King
            What are you guys arguing about?

            I think I'm the only woman (or man, for that matter) I know who has been divorced more than once and doesn't have horror stories about it. They were (and are) good men but we stopped being good together.

            Watching friends go into and out of marriages and agonize over the traumas - I think too often people are trying to be what they think the other person wants. It doesn't work because they can't keep that act up forever.

            After divorce, woman will lose weight, change the way they dress; men will go to the gym to lose the beer gut, get a flashier car. It's a way of preening to attract a new mate, isn't it? But which is the real woman - the comfortably dressed lady who is 20 lbs overweight or the slender one in the low cut dress? Who is the man - the couch potato watching sports and drinking beer or the trim fellow with the hair transplants?

            If those things are important - why wait till after a marriage is over to do them? I've always found that interesting.

            There are relationships that exist (and I was fortunate to have one of them) where the question is "will you live your life with me" and the answer is "I can't imagine living it without you". When that happens, marriage represents a commitment you want to make and has nothing to do with ownership or legalities.

            If you've never had that - you can't understand how different it is. It's not something that can be explained with words.

            The walls come down, you have a safe place in the world - and there is no worry or discussion about who owns what, or who earns how much....because it doesn't matter. You are both free to be the person you truly are - and it's good enough.

            kay
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            • Profile picture of the author TimPhelan
              OK, I just proposed fairly recently in December. Here's how I did it. I decided to do it in public doing something we both love to do: wine tasting in Napa County. I told her best friend, also her cousin, that I was going to propose about a month before I did. I didn't tell her best friend/cousin when though. Her cousin went along with us on the wine tasting tour.

              I didn't know when or where I was going to do this. I just knew it would be better to do it within the first two hours or so. Not knowing when or where kind of made it more extemporaneous. I also didn't have any set script for asking. In my mind though I wanted to do it in front of people and do it the old fashioned way: getting down on one knee, taking her hand, asking her and bringing out the ring.

              So we got to Sonoma, we got our ticket ( it was a wine "passport" type deal ), and started going to a few wineries. I just didn't feel the moment at the first two but after we got to the third one I said to myself: "This is the place". It was at one of the most beautiful wineries in Sonoma which resides on the foothills. It has a seating area around a fireplace, overlooking a valley of vinyards. There were about 30 or 40 people inside and we got a table.

              After a glass of wine I decided this was the time. I gave my video camera to the cousin and asked her to take a picture of us. She took it and I got down on one knee, pulled out the ring and proposed. I heard people around us stop talking. My fiancee at first said "Tim. What are you doing?" Then "Oh my God" a few times and "I am shocked" several times. The cousin was also very surprised.

              We had people come over from other tables and congratulate us. One older couple behind us especially liked it and took our picture. Afterwards we went to a winery that specializes in champagne!

              Hope this gives you some ideas Rudolph. I say do it when you are doing something you both really enjoy. Consider having a good friend(s) of hers along as it adds to the experience. Make it a real surprise. Make it somewhat extemporaneous.
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          • Profile picture of the author HeySal
            Originally Posted by Michael Motley View Post


            How is am i telling him to 'use' her.

            You're already getting sex
            You're already living good
            If you can really not see how offensive that was - then I have no
            respect for any woman who would allow you to touch her. Dave is right - that one touched a very sore spot here and it wasn't a b-b gun and it wasn't a 12 gauge - it was electricity to the groin until there was no semen left to clog neuron firing. I worked at a crisis center - and Michael - every man I've heard speak like that has been an abuser. And that's the long and short of it. It was such a prominent trait/linguistic match that I did a year of research into psycholinguistics for my Jr year thesis.
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            Sal
            When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
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            • Profile picture of the author Kay King
              Sal -

              You don't have to have respect - unless YOU are in THAT relationship.

              It's personal - two people - and the free sex works both ways.

              I've seen several good long term live-in relationships that were destroyed after a short period of marriage.

              We often have pre-conceived notions of "what marriage should be" that we were raised with. We may not know we have them. But those beliefs of "shoulds" for marriage can be destructive to the relationship.

              This argument of men vs women is old and tired. It's people trying to get along with people and looking for a way that works for THEM.

              kay

              Sal: When you say "every man I've heard speak like that has been an abuser" - you were working at a crisis center. They WERE abusers but without a control group of non-abusers you can't draw conclusions so broadly about terminology. I know women who see "abuse" in every man they look at - but it has nothing to do with the men. It's women with a warped view from inside their own heads. I'm sure you've seen that, too. No different than men who assume every woman is only out to "take" them.
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            • Profile picture of the author Michael Motley
              Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

              If you can really not see how offensive that was - then I have no
              respect for any woman who would allow you to touch her. Dave is right - that one touched a very sore spot here and it wasn't a b-b gun and it wasn't a 12 gauge - it was electricity to the groin until there was no semen left to clog neuron firing. I worked at a crisis center - and Michael - every man I've heard speak like that has been an abuser. And that's the long and short of it. It was such a prominent trait/linguistic match that I did a year of research into psycholinguistics for my Jr year thesis.
              How is it offensive? She's getting sex and living good too or she wouldnt be there.

              Maybe you should do your next thesis on the use of generalizations on the internet. Not every guy is like the guy that smacked you around so much you retreated into the mountains to dig rocks. Sorry you made poor choices in men, but I've never laid a hand on a woman in anger. So apparently your research sucks.
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  • Profile picture of the author paperkool
    Originally Posted by Rudolph McDonald View Post

    My girlfriend is so special and I love her so much, I want to marry her soon. But I really don't know how to propose to her. Please give me some advise on how to make my proposal unique and special.:confused:
    Simply go where ever the both of you feel relaxed at and speak the truth about what you want. If you allready have somewhat of an understanding between the two of you, the proposal is merely an embellishment. This shosuld be natural. It's like talking about how to work your zipper. Trinkets and vacations are less important than sincerity. Frank Siinatra said "Try a little tenderness."
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