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Fold Away Bride - Man Marries Sex Doll

by sbucciarel Banned
20 replies
  • OFF TOPIC
    • |
So some people are all up in arms over same sex marriages. Here's one for the books.

Man with terminal cancer marries sex doll so he doesn't leave a grieving widow - Mirror Online



... and in other breaking news .....

Sex will be more popular with ROBOTS than with humans by 2050, claims shocking report



Sex will be more popular with ROBOTS than with humans by 2050, claims shocking report - Mirror Online


  • Profile picture of the author socialentry
    https://vimeo.com/12915013
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  • Profile picture of the author yukon
    Banned
    Rose married Manny Quinn on the original Two and a Half Men TV show.






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    • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
      "C'mon sweetie, let's get hot an' dirty."

      "Two things you should know about me, Princess. First, if I become overheated, my perpetual erection chip will short my ecstasy wail volume unit -- or vice versa -- thereby impairing the quality of your experience. Second, any fluids other than artificial semen or organically sourced lubricant smeared within the vicinity of my testicular rod array are 85.98% likely to permanently damage your wifi connection, sterilise any pets       within a 25' radius smaller than a cat, and destroy Egypt. I therefore seriously recommend that if you wish to proceed with sexual intercourse, all thought of hotness and dirtyness be cast from your mind in order that your core passions may be fulfilled, as I believe is your true desire."

      "But you can mebbe toss me the cucumber from the fridge, right?"
      Signature

      Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.

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  • Profile picture of the author webmarketer
    WAM! BAM! Thank you, hon. zzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
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  • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
    Banned
    I wonder if they had a prenup?
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    • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
      Originally Posted by sbucciarel View Post

      I wonder if they had a prenup?
      No, but I think they had a Blownup
      Signature

      Feel The Power Of The Mark Side

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      • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
        Banned
        Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

        No, but I think they had a Blownup
        Which made me think of a couple of blow up doll jokes

        My new Blow Up Doll is so realistic, it told me it just wants to be friends.
        As I'm getting older, I'm starting to feel like I'm getting more and more unattractive.

        Little things give it away. Like last night, my Blow-up Doll had a headache.
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        • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
          Originally Posted by Princess Balestra View Post

          "C'mon sweetie, let's get hot an' dirty."

          "Two things you should know about me, Princess. First, if I become overheated, my perpetual erection chip will short my ecstasy wail volume unit -- or vice versa -- thereby impairing the quality of your experience. Second, any fluids other than artificial semen or organically sourced lubricant smeared within the vicinity of my testicular rod array are 85.98% likely to permanently damage your wifi connection, sterilise any pets           within a 25' radius smaller than a cat, and destroy Egypt. I therefore seriously recommend that if you wish to proceed with sexual intercourse, all thought of hotness and dirtyness be cast from your mind in order that your core passions may be fulfilled, as I believe is your true desire."

          "But you can mebbe toss me the cucumber from the fridge, right?"
          LOL, Yes, what happens when the batterys die?

          Money Back refund?

          At least this guy didn't marry his laptop?




          PS Princess, you are making the mods jobs very difficult?
          Signature
          Archimedes Forum, Sign up l won't bite
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          • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
            Originally Posted by tagiscom View Post

            PS Princess, you are making the mods jobs very difficult?
            I figure things are a little slacker down here in off topic.
            Signature

            Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.

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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    It could have been worse. At least he didn't marry a horse...

    ...and leave behind fatherless offspring.
    Signature

    Project HERE.

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    • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
      It is a truth universally acknowledged that Sagittarians need help gettin' the soap to their crevices.

      Mebbe in the next chimera round we gonna get gibbon arms.
      Signature

      Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.

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      • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
        Originally Posted by Princess Balestra View Post

        I figure things are a little slacker down here in off topic.
        Yes, pushing the limits with the cucumber reference, or should l say......

        Cu-Cum-Ber?

        Originally Posted by thunderbird View Post

        It could have been worse. At least he didn't marry a horse...

        ...and leave behind fatherless offspring.
        At least he is hung,....never mind!

        Originally Posted by Princess Balestra View Post

        It is a truth universally acknowledged that Sagittarians need help gettin' the soap to their crevices.

        Mebbe in the next chimera round we gonna get gibbon arms.
        Nah, Sagitterians are geniuses, so we will figure it out?

        I won't mention Mars again, or magical solar panels?
        Signature
        Archimedes Forum, Sign up l won't bite
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        • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
          Originally Posted by tagiscom View Post

          Yes, pushing the limits with the cucumber reference, or should l say......
          Cu-Cum-Ber?
          Go check Claude an' Kurt talkin' with academic rigor about time travel.

          They r sittin' on dicks over there...as they play time/space continuum detectives.

          Originally Posted by tagiscom View Post

          Nah, Sagitterians are geniuses, so we will figure it out?
          We are so cool, we can even spell the fkr.

          Originally Posted by tagiscom View Post

          I won't mention Mars again, or magical solar panels?
          K, could be very dangerous right now.
          Signature

          Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.

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          • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
            Quote:
            Originally Posted by tagiscom
            Yes, pushing the limits with the cucumber reference, or should l say......
            Cu-Cum-Ber?

            Go check Claude an' Kurt talkin' with academic rigor about time travel.

            They r sittin' on dicks over there...as they play time/space continuum detectives.

            Yes, l have already been there, just to put Claude in his place, and Kurt, well, l won't mention water and Mars!

            Or magical NASA solar panels that can survive -200, or being a genius!

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by tagiscom
            Nah, Sagitterians are geniuses, so we will figure it out?

            We are so cool, we can even spell the fkr.

            Yes, l know l left in a spelling mistake, but it took a genius like yourself to spot it!

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by tagiscom
            I won't mention Mars again, or magical solar panels?

            K, could be very dangerous right now.

            Ok, got that, no, mention of magical solar panels, or water on mars, or fluffy bunnies being slaughtered by Curiosity Hoons, or....!

            Signature
            Archimedes Forum, Sign up l won't bite
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            • Profile picture of the author Shana Walters
              I say good for him.

              Best Regards,
              Shana Jahsinta Walters.
              Signature
              Write until my fingers fall off. LOL!!!
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  • Profile picture of the author MikeTucker
    Originally Posted by sbucciarel View Post

    ... and in other breaking news .....

    Sex will be more popular with ROBOTS than with humans by 2050, claims shocking report
    When high speed Internet finally came along, some porn sites were raking-in $10K/mo
    If this is the next big thing it's an investment you won't want to miss out on!
    Signature

    The bartender says: "We don't serve faster-than-light particles here."

    ...A tachyon enters a bar.

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    • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
      Originally Posted by MikeTucker View Post

      When high speed Internet finally came along, some porn sites were raking-in $10K/mo
      If this is the next big thing it's an investment you won't want to miss out on!
      Sure he can drag her to the park and prop her against a seat, and,........keep the pigeons from,.......sigh!

      Maybe he should have married a laptop?

      Signature
      Archimedes Forum, Sign up l won't bite
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  • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
    Thing is, how long is it gonna be before the robots ditch the hoomans an' go spark off together?

    "Sure, that human gal had real feelings, but she tired after the first week."

    "Tell me about it. And don't get me started on dicks without sound or a reliable connection to my favorite shopping channels."
    Signature

    Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.

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    • Profile picture of the author MikeTucker
      Originally Posted by Princess Balestra View Post

      Thing is, how long is it gonna be before the robots ditch the hoomans an' go spark off together?

      "Sure, that human gal had real feelings, but she tired after the first week."

      "Tell me about it. And don't get me started on dicks without sound or a reliable connection to my favorite shopping channels."
      lmfao, took me a few seconds to realize your current signature wasn't part of the post
      Signature

      The bartender says: "We don't serve faster-than-light particles here."

      ...A tachyon enters a bar.

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      • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
        Ha!

        Soon as I saw this post comin' up for air again, I wondered: what if these guys marryin' alla the inflatable wimmin decide (as some guys do) (after a while) (of bein' married to the same gal) (for years an' years) (the same gal who don't change none) (and gets real borin' an' tedious an' annoyin' an' complainy an' wrinkly) decide to murder them?

        How d'ya dispose of an inflatable body?Unless ya make with the kitchen knife, no way you gonna drown yr womman 'cos even with bricks lashed to her, she gonna keep bobbin' up outta the water.

        An' burnin' her jus' gonna wreck yr burger grill.

        Guess the only surefire trick is to reinflate her with helium an' release her somewhere the NASA probes ain't gonna see her.

        Which leads me on to a kink weirder than inflatable matrimony.

        What if there are guys out there who prefer their inflatable wommen to be dead?

        Won't take 'em till their faux souls have been stolen from their bodies?

        As in life, so it goes in its rubberised facsimile equivalent kinda thing?

        K — gotta go prepare for Yoga.
        Signature

        Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.

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