Showerthoughts: What if the rapture actually did happen but nobody made the cut?

8 years ago

What if the rapture did happen and everyone made the cut?

Me, Joe Mobley, Claude Whitacre, Robert Mugabe, Kim Jong Un, ISIS, the KKK, the Westboro Baptists, everyone.

Now there's a scary thought.

[ 1 ] Thanks
2 replies

Signature

Why do garden gnomes smell so bad?

So that blind people can hate them as well.

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10435219].message }}

Kurt

8 years ago

Originally Posted by whateverpedia

What if the rapture did happen and everyone made the cut?

Me, Joe Mobley, Claude Whitacre, Robert Mugabe, Kim Jong Un, ISIS, the KKK, the Westboro Baptists, everyone.

Now there's a scary thought.

C'mon, get serious...no one's going to believe Claude made the cut.

[ 3 ] Thanks
1 reply

Signature

Discover the fastest and easiest ways to create your own valuable products.
Tons of FREE Public Domain content you can use to make your own content, PLR, digital and POD products.

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10435221].message }}

lanfear63 8 years ago

Originally Posted by Kurt

C'mon, get serious...no one's going to believe Claude made the cut.

Claude might make the Rupture
- [ 3 ] Thanks
- 1 reply
Signature

Feel The Power Of The Mark Side
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10435503].message }}
- tagiscom 8 years ago
  
  The rapture, that is either some religious thing that we cannot discuss, or a Queens Song?
  
  But shower thoughts, ok....
  
  • Why did Spielberg put Ja Ja in Star Wars?
  
  Is it that Genius like this produce great movies initially then their luck runs out later on, or is it just wealth makes them lazy, and the drive to succeed is gone?
  
  Or having too many African children on a special bulk price, makes them start to listen to them and destroy a potentially good movie?
  
  • Why can't magnets be used to generate electricity when they can obvious create inertia through spacing the magnets in a certain way?
  
  • How many fluffy bunnies are really on Mars?
  
  • Why did Dustin Hoffman, create Ishtar?
  
  Usual thoughts?
  
  Thanks
  
  1 reply
  
  Signature
  Archimedes Forum, Sign up l won't bite
  
  {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10435561].message }}
  
  Jill Carpenter 8 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by tagiscom
  
  The rapture, that is either some religious thing that we cannot discuss, or a Queens Song?
  
  Blondie!!!!
  
  Blondie - Rapture - YouTube
  
  [ 2 ] Thanks
  
  1 reply
  
  Signature
  
  "May I have ten thousand marbles, please?"
  
  {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10435694].message }}
  
  tagiscom 8 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Jill Carpenter
  
  Blondie!!!!
  
  Blondie - Rapture - YouTube
  
  Ok, got it, but anyone on that would need to go on acid?
  
  Preferably for a week or so, well at least til, eating cars made perfect sense?
  
  Thanks
  
  1 reply
  
  Signature
  Archimedes Forum, Sign up l won't bite
  
  {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10435752].message }}
  
  Jill Carpenter 8 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by tagiscom
  
  Ok, got it, but anyone on that would need to go on acid?
  
  Preferably for a week or so, well at least til, eating cars made perfect sense?
  
  The aliens (man from mars) are eating cars!
  
  Makes perfect sense to me anyway.
  
  No acid required.
  
  Thanks
  
  1 reply
  
  Signature
  
  "May I have ten thousand marbles, please?"
  
  {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10435883].message }}
  
  tagiscom 8 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Jill Carpenter
  
  The aliens (man from mars) are eating cars!
  
  Makes perfect sense to me anyway.
  
  No acid required.
  
  Oooooooookkkkkkk!
  
  As l slowing backstep, and grasp my fluffy bunny!
  
  Thanks
  
  Signature
  Archimedes Forum, Sign up l won't bite
  
  {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10435897].message }}

Claude Whitacre

8 years ago

Originally Posted by whateverpedia

What if the rapture did happen and everyone made the cut?

Me, Joe Mobley, Claude Whitacre, Robert Mugabe, Kim Jong Un, ISIS, the KKK, the Westboro Baptists, everyone.

Now there's a scary thought.

If I made the cut, I wouldn't go.

"The rupture"........Made me laugh.

Thanks
2 replies

Signature

One Call Closing book https://www.amazon.com/One-Call-Clos...=1527788418&sr

What if they're not stars? What if they are holes poked in the top of a container so we can breath?

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10435919].message }}

whateverpedia 8 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

If I made the cut, I wouldn't go.

I can't say I'd like to spend eternity with the people who are going on it either.
- [ 2 ] Thanks
Signature

Why do garden gnomes smell so bad?
So that blind people can hate them as well.
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10435974].message }}

Kurt

8 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

If I made the cut, I wouldn't go.

Thinking about you making the cut is like you fitting into skinny jeans...neither are ever going to happen so why even talk about it?

Thanks
1 reply

Signature

Discover the fastest and easiest ways to create your own valuable products.
Tons of FREE Public Domain content you can use to make your own content, PLR, digital and POD products.

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10435985].message }}

Princess Balestra

8 years ago

Originally Posted by Kurt

Thinking about you making the cut is like you fitting into skinny jeans...neither are ever going to happen so why even talk about it?

The Ripture.

[ 4 ] Thanks
1 reply

Signature

Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10436179].message }}

Kurt

8 years ago

Originally Posted by Princess Balestra

The Ripture.

Less than an hour after Claude leaves the Golden Coral all you can eat buffet, it becomes The Crapture.

[ 2 ] Thanks
1 reply

Signature

Discover the fastest and easiest ways to create your own valuable products.
Tons of FREE Public Domain content you can use to make your own content, PLR, digital and POD products.

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10436407].message }}

Claude Whitacre

8 years ago

Originally Posted by Kurt

Less than an hour after Claude leaves the Golden Coral all you can eat buffet, it becomes The Crapture.

I hope we both ascend, and I die a nano-second before you do. That way, your head will be behind my butt the whole trip. And then you'll see some "Crapture".

Thanks
2 replies

Signature

One Call Closing book https://www.amazon.com/One-Call-Clos...=1527788418&sr

What if they're not stars? What if they are holes poked in the top of a container so we can breath?

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10436456].message }}

Kurt

8 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

I hope we both ascend, and I die a nano-second before you do. That way, your head will be behind my butt the whole trip. And then you'll see some "Crapture".

I think we should be kinder and gentler to each other and focus not on our differences, but what we have in common...and in this case, we both wish that you die before me. Here's to our mutual wish coming true...

[ 2 ] Thanks
1 reply

Signature

Discover the fastest and easiest ways to create your own valuable products.
Tons of FREE Public Domain content you can use to make your own content, PLR, digital and POD products.

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10436464].message }}

Claude Whitacre

8 years ago

Originally Posted by Kurt

I think we should be kinder and gentler to each other and focus not on our differences, but what we have in common...and in this case, we both wish that you die before me. Here's to our mutual wish coming true...

I just want to bask in the unapologetic purity of that insult. This is the third time I've come back to the Forum and read it. And I still laugh out loud at its complete lack of compromise.

I am truly impressed.

(That's how I handle it, when I just can't think of a good retort)

Originally Posted by Princess Balestra

Tellya, I wanna pull down alla your pants an' make with some serious slapture.

Be honest, Princess..you've been holding "Slapture" in your pocket all day, just waiting for an opening.

Thanks
2 replies

Signature

One Call Closing book https://www.amazon.com/One-Call-Clos...=1527788418&sr

What if they're not stars? What if they are holes poked in the top of a container so we can breath?

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10437230].message }}

lanfear63

8 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

I just want to bask in the unapologetic purity of that insult. This is the third time I've come back to the Forum and read it. And I still laugh out loud at its complete lack of compromise.

I am truly impressed.

(That's how I handle it, when I just can't think of a good retort)

Be honest, Princess..you've been holding "Slapture" in your pocket all day, just waiting for an opening.

For some, the Slapture is the Rapture. Unless it causes the Rupture.

Thanks

Signature

Feel The Power Of The Mark Side

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10437243].message }}

Princess Balestra

8 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

Be honest, Princess..you've been holding "Slapture" in your pocket all day, just waiting for an opening.

Hey, in this context, I ain't makin' with the slapture on no aperture.

That is called anal karate.

I was thinkin' more of a standard thrashin' c/o a hardback copy of Emily Dickinson's Complete Poems.

It has been deployed on Warrior Forum before to good effect.

Dickinson may be dead, but her spirit lives on in gluteal quivers delivered to the beat of a Spotify playlist.

We will come to wrapture later, along with gapture, flapture, an' alla the other stuff gonna fix us up to be cut out of the Rapture.

Thanks
1 reply

Signature

Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10437257].message }}

lanfear63

8 years ago

Originally Posted by Princess Balestra

Hey, in this context, I ain't makin' with the slapture on no aperture.

That is called anal karate.

I was thinkin' more of a standard thrashin' c/o a hardback copy of Emily Dickinson's Complete Poems.

It has been deployed on Warrior Forum before to good effect.

Dickinson may be dead, but her spirit lives on in gluteal quivers delivered to the beat of a Spotify playlist.

We will come to wrapture later, along with gapture, flapture, an' alla the other stuff gonna fix us up to be cut out of the Rapture.

Claude's new religiously themed adult movie is going to be called "The Bubble Wrapture"

[ 2 ] Thanks

Signature

Feel The Power Of The Mark Side

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10437274].message }}

tagiscom 8 years ago

Originally Posted by DJL

What on Earth are you all babbling about?

42
- Thanks
Signature
Archimedes Forum, Sign up l won't bite
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10436467].message }}

Kurt

8 years ago

"Christmas is kind of the opposite of Arbor Day."

[ 1 ] Thanks

Signature

Discover the fastest and easiest ways to create your own valuable products.
Tons of FREE Public Domain content you can use to make your own content, PLR, digital and POD products.

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10435330].message }}

seasoned

8 years ago

Well, with Judaism it is effectively impossible to make the cut. You can bet nobody in the US makes it. Even in israel where, at prager university, they teach it has "the most moral Army" you can bet none make it. Both the Jewish AND islamic teachings say that the islamic problem now is caused by ABRAHAM breaking several jewish laws! Had he not broken those laws, he would not have had sex with Hagar, and the arabs wouldn't even exist. ALSO, whoever they then became, they wouldn't carry the animosity towards the jews that they do to this day. ALSO, ISLAM would likely not exist. Side note! The third temple would likely have been built LONG ago! It is not built today, and few try to rebuild it, because the Moslems took a wall of the old temple!

In Christianity they say to forget that, as it merely paved the way for Jesus to achieve the impossible. Matt 5:17 "Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them." Ironically they, in saying that, ADMIT that you can't fulfill the law. So Jesus effectively said to do what is at all possible under the NEW testament. ALAS, I doubt anyone has really fulfilled THAT either. The POPE, ironically, is likely the biggest offender, especially the current one that doesn't even seem to try. And THEY even never discuss timothy, that basically says the pope isn't qualified!

So YEAH, if the rapture came, only the best REJECTS would be let in!

Nobody made the cut!

Steve

Thanks
1 reply

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10435958].message }}

ThomM 8 years ago

American Dad: Rapture's Delight - YouTube
- Thanks
Signature

Life: Nature's way of keeping meat fresh
Getting old ain't for sissy's
As you are I was, as I am you will be
You can't fix stupid, but you can always out smart it.
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10435961].message }}

yukon

Banned 8 years ago

This thread will get deleted because folks are talking about Claude's rupture.

[ 1 ] Thanks
1 reply

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10435977].message }}

whateverpedia 8 years ago

Originally Posted by yukon

This thread will get deleted because folks are talking about Claude's rupture.

Every thread here ends up being about Claude's rupture.
- Thanks
Signature

Why do garden gnomes smell so bad?
So that blind people can hate them as well.
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10435981].message }}

DJL

8 years ago

What on Earth are you all babbling about?

Thanks
4 replies

Signature

None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free.
--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Elective Affinities (1809)

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10436312].message }}

whateverpedia 8 years ago

Originally Posted by DJL

What on Earth are you all babbling about?

Half past nine.
- [ 1 ] Thanks
Signature

Why do garden gnomes smell so bad?
So that blind people can hate them as well.
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10436339].message }}
Kurt 8 years ago

Originally Posted by DJL

What on Earth are you all babbling about?

Quantum soup recipes.
- [ 1 ] Thanks
Signature

Discover the fastest and easiest ways to create your own valuable products.
Tons of FREE Public Domain content you can use to make your own content, PLR, digital and POD products.
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10436343].message }}
Claude Whitacre 8 years ago

Originally Posted by DJL

What on Earth are you all babbling about?

Honestly, I think you hit the nail on the head. The fun part, is that we are babbling.

Answering nonsensical threads, with nonsensical posts....is about as fun as it gets here.

Ok, tripping Kurt, and watching him skin his knee. That would be more fun.

Choking Kurt, when there are no witnesses. That would probably be at the top of my "Fun" list. Strangling him, while he squeaks, "I'm not Kurt, I'm Riffle...stop choking me".

I miss Riffle.

The Ripture.....HA!
- Thanks
Signature
One Call Closing book https://www.amazon.com/One-Call-Clos...=1527788418&sr

What if they're not stars? What if they are holes poked in the top of a container so we can breath?
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10436406].message }}

Princess Balestra

8 years ago

Originally Posted by DJL

What on Earth are you all babbling about?

Actually, this guy is right.

The apocalypse is no laughin' matter, even if it involves promise of Rapture.

Some of the humor here has been puerile an' infantile.

Tellya, I wanna pull down alla your pants an' make with some serious slapture.

[ 2 ] Thanks
1 reply

Signature

Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10436659].message }}

bizgrower

8 years ago

Originally Posted by Princess Balestra

Actually, this guy is right.

The apocalypse is no laughin' matter, even if it involves promise of Rapture.

Some of the humor here has been puerile an' infantile.

Tellya, I wanna pull down alla your pants an' make with some serious slapture.

For my camera to capture.

---------------------

What if mankind makes rapture happen based upon the wrong data?

Thanks

Signature

"If you think you're the smartest person in the room, then you're probably in the wrong room."

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10437133].message }}

Showerthoughts: What if the rapture actually did happen but nobody made the cut?

Trending Topics

Newbie

How did you turn it all around?

A healthy fascination for Hollywood...

best high quality crypto traffic.

Any thoughts on golf's latest phenom...Scottie Scheffler??