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I think beer labels should warn that it may cause diarrhea

by irawr Banned
54 replies
  • OFF TOPIC
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I mean seriously, it could be life threatening.

Also think of the marketing potential. A beer that doesn't need the warning, because it doesn't cause it.

Or instead of an anti-hangover beer, an anti-diarrhea beer.

Lets be realistic about this; there is absolutely nothing worse on this planet then waking up after a long night of drinking and having to throw your mattress out the next morning.

Who even cares that your head hurts? How are you going to hide that from your neighbors?
  • Profile picture of the author Jill Carpenter
    I think you may have a different problem going on.

    Never had that issue from drinking beer. And back in the pre-vodka days I definitely drank my share of beer and then some.
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    • Profile picture of the author irawr
      Banned
      Originally Posted by Jill Carpenter View Post

      I think you may have a different problem going on.

      Never had that issue from drinking beer. And back in the pre-vodka days I definitely drank my share of beer and then some.
      It's a "known issue" with the product. Granted, I knew a guy who could put down a 24 pack and was "fine" the next morning after a few more to "wake up."

      What's Up With Our Poop the Day After We Booze? | Greatist
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      • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
        Banned
        Originally Posted by irawr View Post

        It's a "known issue" with the product.
        I've personally tested many different brands of beer in great quantities when younger and never experienced it.

        Does Beer Cause Diarrhea?



        Alcohol and Diarrhea
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        • Profile picture of the author Jill Carpenter
          Originally Posted by irawr View Post


          "it may cause"
          Do we start to label bags of beans too?

          "These beans may cause an obnoxious gas that will clear out your room of friends and may even cause you to pass out."

          Originally Posted by Princess Balestra View Post

          I do not feel like an imminent fountain of liquid poop is gonna wash me away in an umber spray.
          Debating if I should change my sig file to this...


          Poopy poopy poopy. Baboon baboon boobies.
          I read baboon as "bacon." Bacon boobies. I think you've inspired my new creation! A bacon bra!
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          • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
            Originally Posted by Jill Carpenter View Post

            I read baboon as "bacon." Bacon boobies. I think you've inspired my new creation! A bacon bra!
            Uh oh -- don't wanna be a eurekapooper here, but porcine strawbowear oinked its zoinks! in a previous highbrow OT post...

            http://www.warriorforum.com/off-topi...st-cancer.html
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        • Profile picture of the author Floyd Fisher
          Originally Posted by sbucciarel View Post

          I've personally tested many different brands of beer in great quantities when younger and never experienced it.

          Does Beer Cause Diarrhea?



          Alcohol and Diarrhea

          Thanks for the due diligence in your research.


          I think I have the solution for OP's problem. Gluten free beer!


          REDBRIDGE - Home


          You do have to be 21 to enter, but enjoy!
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      • Profile picture of the author BigFrank
        Banned
        Originally Posted by irawr View Post

        It's a "known issue" with the product.
        The only diarrhea I see is what is spewing from your pie-hole!

        Cheers. - Frank
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  • Profile picture of the author hardraysnight
    if you don't like it, don't drink it

    but don't try and act as spokesperson for those of us that do
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    • Profile picture of the author irawr
      Banned
      Originally Posted by hardraysnight View Post

      if you don't like it, don't drink it

      but don't try and act as spokesperson for those of us that do
      I'm confused, are you suggesting that you enjoy the after effects? Is that one of the reasons you use the product?

      I know there were studies on smoking and safe(r) cigarettes, some determined they failed due to the lack of perceived risk.

      I'm sure the same concept applies to fireworks, firearms, and heroin. If heroin wasn't risky (addiction or death), I doubt there would be many addicts.

      Obviously that's kind of the point of guns, they give you the ability to manage risk, even though they themselves are inherently risky.

      But, I don't understand why you would want diarrhea the next morning after drinking beer. You're going to have to fill me in here. Do you get some kind of endorphin rush when you realize you didn't die from dehydration from the repeated trips to the toilet the next day?
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  • Profile picture of the author hardraysnight
    if you knew as much about drinking beer as you think you know about verbosity, you would know not every beer drinker wakes up with the runs, irrespective of the amount consumed

    you stick with your theories, ill just keep practicing

    i hear the tui sing
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    • Profile picture of the author irawr
      Banned
      Originally Posted by hardraysnight View Post

      if you knew as much about drinking beer as you think you know about verbosity, you would know not every beer drinker wakes up with the runs, irrespective of the amount consumed

      you stick with your theories, ill just keep practicing

      i hear the tui sing
      I know I typed the word "may" in the title of the thread.

      Let me double check.

      Yep.

      "it may cause"

      As far as verbosity, it's a very useful skill. I often tell people how much content I've produced over the years and they think I'm completely full of it.

      The trick is really just to write about as much random, barely related, borderline-insane stuff you can think of and surprisingly it does wonders for readership and engagement.

      I could write an in-depth article about the art of watching paint dry and I'm sure it would get shared around FB. Obviously it wouldn't break the share counting websites or anything but, I usually impress myself.
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  • Profile picture of the author DJL
    Beer labels should state:
    WARNING: Consumption of this product may cause you to do and say stupid things!
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  • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
    Hey — I was out on the juice last night.

    I have jus' moved the chair from my desk to type this out in a low squat, an' I can assure you my panties are in no danger.

    Worse case scenario is that I am gonna tear them cos my ass is practically on the floor.

    I feel like a hobbit playin' a grand piano.

    I do not feel like an imminent fountain of liquid poop is gonna wash me away in an umber spray.

    In fact, this is almost as good a workout as crawlin' around with a gravy boat on your back.

    That is the only way I am stainin' my carpet brown today — not that I am gonna repeat the experiment cos I am outta gravy.

    Poopy poopy poopy. Baboon baboon boobies.

    I better get on with some work...
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  • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
    Look, I've been drinking beer for a quarter of a century and I can tell you this: if beer is routinely giving you the trots, you are either:


    1. Drinking the wrong beer;
    2. Drinking too much beer;
    3. Drinking too much of the wrong beer
    4. You've got IBS


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    • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
      Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

      Look, I've been drinking beer for a quarter of a century...
      That is some trick.

      Do you ever pause to breathe, eat, an' pee?
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      • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
        Originally Posted by Princess Balestra View Post

        That is some trick.

        Do you ever pause to breathe, eat, an' pee?


        With practice you can do all at once.
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        • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
          Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

          With practice you can do all at once.
          That official?

          Or orificial?
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          • Profile picture of the author Kay King
            I mean seriously,
            ...do people really sit around and debate this stuff?

            If I had to read articles about "your poo - and you" due to drinking beer....I'd switch to vodka. ...or double up on the probiotics.

            Life is too short to be filled with poop....
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            • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
              Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

              ...do people really sit around and debate this stuff?

              If I had to read articles about "your poo - and you" due to drinking beer....I'd switch to vodka. ...or double up on the probiotics.

              Life is too short to be filled with poop....

              Kay; Could you please solve a mystery for me?

              i do not eat poop. I never have.

              But poop comes out. In fact, nothing ever comes out, except poop.

              Could you tell me where it comes from?
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              • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
                Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                Kay; Could you please solve a mystery for me?

                i do not eat poop. I never have.

                But poop comes out. In fact, nothing ever comes out, except poop.

                Could you tell me where it comes from?
                Mebbe it is like Santa.

                Some guy comes visitin' evry night, armed with a sacka poop an' a shovel.
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                • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
                  Originally Posted by Princess Balestra View Post

                  Mebbe it is like Santa.

                  Some guy comes visitin' evry night, armed with a sacka poop an' a shovel.
                  and a funnel.
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                  • Profile picture of the author irawr
                    Banned
                    Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                    and a funnel.
                    Or a 12 pack of Keystone.

                    Or any amount of that Bud Light Clamato-whatever the hell it is.
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              • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
                Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                Kay; Could you please solve a mystery for me?

                i do not eat poop. I never have.

                But poop comes out. In fact, nothing ever comes out, except poop.

                Could you tell me where it comes from?
                "i do not eat poop. I never have."

                It comes out of your mouth though, in the way of Verbal Diarrhea
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                • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
                  Great weight loss tip, eat, go out and drink 10 pints of beer and then of course you feel hungry again so you go for an super hot Indian meal. When you get home, weigh yourself. The next morning you feel like crap and expunge all you have consumed through all orifices, including your nose. Weigh yourself again. The difference is incredible!

                  Done that a few times in my youth and In those cases, it always causes diarrhea
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                  • Profile picture of the author irawr
                    Banned
                    Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

                    Great weight loss tip, eat, go out and drink 10 pints of beer and then of course you feel hungry again so you go for an super hot Indian meal. When you get home, weigh yourself. The next morning you feel like crap and expunge all you have consumed through all orifices, including your nose. Weigh yourself again. The difference is incredible!

                    Done that a few times in my youth and In those cases, it always causes diarrhea
                    I did this once with chicken wings so hot that I had to sign a waiver. I was thinking about turning the experience into a course that teaches you a "cleanse" called the "college cleanse." So you drink beer until you are dizzy, it's important to not get to the point where you vomit. Then eat a bunch of ultra hot chicken wings, then slam down a mixture of salt water and lemon juice, don't vomit obviously. After thinking about it, I realized Google would ban me off awords at warp speed, so I didn't take action on that idea.

                    "New system reveals how to get hammered while losing weight! Endorsed by celebrities Charlie Sheen and David Hasslehof!"
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                • Profile picture of the author Jill Carpenter
                  Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

                  "i do not eat poop. I never have."

                  It comes out of your mouth though, in the way of Verbal Diarrhea
                  We share such love for one another here down here in the OT.
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                  • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
                    Originally Posted by Jill Carpenter View Post

                    We share such love for one another here down here in the OT.
                    I love Claude, but I couldn't eat a whole one.
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          • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
            Originally Posted by Princess Balestra View Post

            That official?

            Or orificial?
            It's both.
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            • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
              I think beer labels should warn that it may cause diarrhea
              I think I see the problem. You're not meant to eat the label.

              You're welcome.
              .



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  • Profile picture of the author HCFGrizzly
    Just do it like the Russians: drink vodka, more fun, less going to the bathroom.
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    • Profile picture of the author Jill Carpenter
      Originally Posted by BigFrank View Post

      The only diarrhea I see is what is spewing from your pie-hole!

      Cheers. - Frank
      You truly have your own way of sugar coating things Frank. lol
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      • Profile picture of the author BigFrank
        Banned
        Originally Posted by Jill Carpenter View Post

        You truly have your own way of sugar coating things Frank. lol
        My unique brand of urban expression. Too many years in NYC. lol

        Cheers. - Frank
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  • Profile picture of the author seasoned
    Sorry! I have known thousands of people that might be subjected. I have heard perhaps HUNDREDS of thousands! I MYSELF was one such person, to a degree. Yet it has NEVER happened to me, and I have NEVER heard of it.

    That said.......

    1. Some countries, like Mexico, MAY have such problems.
    2. Many idiots are just too dumb, and serve such things. That can spread diseases that cause this problem!
    3. SOME machines are not cleaned properly, or at all, and can spread diseases that cause this problem!
    4. SOME people, for a joke, or if they don't like you, can do something that, as a side effect, can cause this problem!

    NONE of those 4 causes are due to it being beer!

    Steve
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    • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
      Originally Posted by seasoned View Post

      Sorry! I have known thousands of people that might be subjected. I have heard perhaps HUNDREDS of thousands! I MYSELF was one such person, to a degree. Yet it has NEVER happened to me, and I have NEVER heard of it.

      That said.......

      1. Some countries, like Mexico, MAY have such problems.
      2. Many idiots are just too dumb, and serve such things. That can spread diseases that cause this problem!
      3. SOME machines are not cleaned properly, or at all, and can spread diseases that cause this problem!
      4. SOME people, for a joke, or if they don't like you, can do something that, as a side effect, can cause this problem!

      NONE of those 4 causes are due to it being beer!

      Steve
      You've heard HUNDREDS of thousands of people complain of beer-induced diarrhea? HUNDREDS of thousands. What kind of parties and conventions do you go to, Steve?
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      • Profile picture of the author Jill Carpenter
        Originally Posted by Frank Donovan View Post

        I think I see the problem. You're not meant to eat the label.

        You're welcome.
        .



        .
        And if you start seeing blood in the stool, time to stop chomping on the glass bottles too - or the cans for that matter.
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      • Profile picture of the author seasoned
        Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

        You've heard HUNDREDS of thousands of people complain of beer-induced diarrhea? HUNDREDS of thousands. What kind of parties and conventions do you go to, Steve?
        NOPE! HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS that have drunk beer! NO cases of diarrhea. I HAVE heard of ailments causes by diseases caught in a similar way, and HAVE heard of a particular type of diarrhea caused by basically POISONING. I simply don't want to give people any ideas.

        Steve
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        • Profile picture of the author irawr
          Banned
          Originally Posted by seasoned View Post

          NOPE! HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS that have drunk beer! NO cases of diarrhea. I HAVE heard of ailments causes by diseases caught in a similar way, and HAVE heard of a particular type of diarrhea caused by basically POISONING. I simply don't want to give people any ideas.

          Steve
          I didn't realize this subject was controversial in the same way people might discuss global warming.

          You can deny it all you want, but if you go drink a 12 pack of Keystone (or any form of malt liquor), the following day it will rain brown out your rear. If you can even get that far, personally I couldn't get a can of that stuff down.

          Side note: I do not understand how people drink malt liquor. I actually get sick while drinking it and I don't even want to talk about how I feel the next day.

          To be fair some people commented that certain beers may be worse then others and I'm pretty sure they're right about that.
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          • Profile picture of the author hardraysnight
            Originally Posted by irawr View Post

            I didn't realize this subject was controversial in the same way people might discuss global warming.

            You can deny it all you want, but if you go drink a 12 pack of Keystone (or any form of malt liquor),.
            but i don't consider malt liquor beer

            and i dont need to drink a dozen of anything to prove anything

            i hear the tui sing
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            • Profile picture of the author LynnM
              Useless trivia alert - over here the word's spelled diarrhoea.

              And, tackling a different kind of waste with a new type of beer: https://munchies.vice.com/articles/t...nto-tasty-beer
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              • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
                Originally Posted by LynnM View Post

                Useless trivia alert - over here the word's spelled diarrhoea.
                Weird.

                If ur gonna drop an O from a word, why choose one so unashamedly self-sphinctered?
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by seasoned View Post

      Sorry! I have known thousands of people that might be subjected. I have heard perhaps HUNDREDS of thousands! I MYSELF was one such person, to a degree. Yet it has NEVER happened to me, and I have NEVER heard of it.
      Steve;

      Lets pretend that every single person you have ever met...has told you that they drink beer..every single person.

      And every one of these people...gets diarrhea from drinking bear. Every single one.

      There are no exceptions. You have never met a person who;
      1) does not drink beer
      2) does not get diarrhea from it.

      Ok, Now that we have established that...

      You have met hundreds of thousands of people?

      let's say....you meet a totally new person, every hour of every day and night. There is never a break from this activity.
      And every single person you meet, that hour, has diarrhea from drinking beer. Remember, no exceptions.

      200,000 hours is 23 years....
      So....for the last 23 years, you meet a new person every hour, who suffers from "beer induced diarrhea".

      You are a busy busy man.

      And, may I suggest, broadening your circle of friends to include "non-diarrhea suffering beer drinkers" as well?

      Just a tip.

      Nice chat.


      Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

      You've heard HUNDREDS of thousands of people complain of beer-induced diarrhea? HUNDREDS of thousands. What kind of parties and conventions do you go to, Steve?
      Diarrhea Stock.

      Diarreapalooza.

      Get with it, Riffle.
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      • Profile picture of the author seasoned
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        Steve;

        Lets pretend that every single person you have ever met...has told you that they drink beer..every single person.

        And every one of these people...gets diarrhea from drinking bear. Every single one.

        There are no exceptions. You have never met a person who;
        1) does not drink beer
        2) does not get diarrhea from it.

        Ok, Now that we have established that...

        You have met hundreds of thousands of people?

        let's say....you meet a totally new person, every hour of every day and night. There is never a break from this activity.
        And every single person you meet, that hour, has diarrhea from drinking beer. Remember, no exceptions.

        200,000 hours is 23 years....
        So....for the last 23 years, you meet a new person every hour, who suffers from "beer induced diarrhea".

        You are a busy busy man.

        And, may I suggest, broadening your circle of friends to include "non-diarrhea suffering beer drinkers" as well?

        Just a tip.

        Nice chat.




        Diarrhea Stock.

        Diarreapalooza.

        Get with it, Riffle.
        I only said I have HEARD hundreds of thousands. Even if I were some eminent celebrity that was a HUGE extrovert and on TV everyday, etc... I doubt I would personally know, or even talk to them. YET, with all the exposure I HAVE had, NOBODY has claimed beer gave them diariah, and it hasn't done so to ME! And NOPE, nobody has poisoned me in the way I described, but I have known people on both sides of that, heard doctors, and seen programs about it. Iforgot what the original intent of the "slight" was, but it was found to be a superlaxative. AGAIN though, it is NOT the beer itself. It is simply most often done with alcoholic beverages, and beer is such a beverage.

        Steve
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        • Profile picture of the author irawr
          Banned
          Originally Posted by seasoned View Post

          I only said I have HEARD hundreds of thousands. Even if I were some eminent celebrity that was a HUGE extrovert and on TV everyday, etc... I doubt I would personally know, or even talk to them. YET, with all the exposure I HAVE had, NOBODY has claimed beer gave them diariah, and it hasn't done so to ME! And NOPE, nobody has poisoned me in the way I described, but I have known people on both sides of that, heard doctors, and seen programs about it. Iforgot what the original intent of the "slight" was, but it was found to be a superlaxative. AGAIN though, it is NOT the beer itself. It is simply most often done with alcoholic beverages, and beer is such a beverage.

          Steve
          Okay well, a few days ago, I drank a 6 pack of Rolling Rock and I peed out my butt the next day. It wasn't a life changing experience or anything, but maybe talking to somebody on the internet about this issue will be for you.

          A few days later I had some craft beers, no issues, then a 6 pack of MGD, no issues.
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          • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
            Originally Posted by irawr View Post

            I peed out my butt the next day.
            Man, I heard that squeak.

            How lucky I am that I was jus' gonna fix up sumthin' to eat.

            Tellya, that is how we solve the obesity problem.

            Ditch the canned music in restaurants, burger bars an' cafes -- an' replace it with a perpetual loop of squeako exodus.

            Mmmmmmmmm!

            You want extra mayo with that?
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          • Profile picture of the author seasoned
            Originally Posted by irawr View Post

            Okay well, a few days ago, I drank a 6 pack of Rolling Rock and I peed out my butt the next day. It wasn't a life changing experience or anything, but maybe talking to somebody on the internet about this issue will be for you.

            A few days later I had some craft beers, no issues, then a 6 pack of MGD, no issues.
            OK, I am not familiar with rolling rock. SERIOUSLY though, there are a LOT of potential problems caused by VERY BAD CLEANING, POOR HYGIENE, and BAD WATER. We have had problems with SOME peanuts, cheese, and even places like chipotle. And poisoning sometimes happens at bars, or with things like olestra. But I have NEVER heard of a problem with beer. Try sticking to a proper brand.

            I DID forget about the episode of KING OF THE HILL, but I figured that was just to be funny. That was ESPECIALLY likely since the US had the problem, and the first shipment of good beer was to Mexico. ******MEXICO****** land of a diarriah producing disease that mexicans tolerate with almost no symptoms and Americans have nicknamed montezumas revenge! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traveler%27s_diarrhea

            Steve
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        • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
          Originally Posted by seasoned View Post

          I only said I have HEARD hundreds of thousands.
          Steve

          I know. I was yanking your chain.
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  • Profile picture of the author seasoned
    You know, I just thought of something! Some restaurants, and it may be a federal law, imply that their food may make you SICK! Ironically, places like penn station subs, or chipotle, haven't done that, IIRC.

    http://scphoh.org/environmental/env_...quirements.pdf

    Anyway, this guy might be one to have the warning everywhere else.

    Steve
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    • Profile picture of the author Jill Carpenter
      Originally Posted by irawr View Post

      I do not understand how people drink malt liquor. I actually get sick while drinking it and I don't even want to talk about how I feel the next day.
      I miss Zima!

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zima_%28drink%29

      May need to plan a trip to Japan.

      Anyway Irawr, I think you've narrowed down the issue for yourself.

      I think you didn't realize how many people are unaffected by your personal issue.

      I'm quite confident if you went to a keg party of 50 people and brought up what issues they have from drinking beer, you'd see most have the same common issues of having to pee every 10 minutes (this may be exaggerated, but the pee issue is why I switched from beer to vodka - risk of losing bar seat when you gotta get up and go so much) and burping a bit.
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      • Profile picture of the author seasoned
        Originally Posted by Jill Carpenter View Post

        I miss Zima!

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zima_%28drink%29

        May need to plan a trip to Japan.

        Anyway Irawr, I think you've narrowed down the issue for yourself.

        I think you didn't realize how many people are unaffected by your personal issue.

        I'm quite confident if you went to a keg party of 50 people and brought up what issues they have from drinking beer, you'd see most have the same common issues of having to pee every 10 minutes (this may be exaggerated, but the pee issue is why I switched from beer to vodka - risk of losing bar seat when you gotta get up and go so much) and burping a bit.
        It wasn't that he had to PEE, but where he peed OUT OF! The large intestine has a number of functions. One of the MAIN functions is REABSORBING WATER! THAT is why it mainly passes somewhat dry and solid matter. Of course, some sedatives, excess magnesium, excess potassium, excess sodium, and several illnesses could greatly decrease the ability to absorb water, and you get diaria.

        Steve
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        • Profile picture of the author Jill Carpenter
          Originally Posted by seasoned View Post

          It wasn't that he had to PEE, but where he peed OUT OF! The large intestine has a number of functions. One of the MAIN functions is REABSORBING WATER! THAT is why it mainly passes somewhat dry and solid matter. Of course, some sedatives, excess magnesium, excess potassium, excess sodium, and several illnesses could greatly decrease the ability to absorb water, and you get diaria.

          Steve
          Yes - I'm saying that poo spray is not the issue - only his issue. But ask any serious beer drinker after every 2-3 beers if they have to run to the restroom regularly to pee. THAT is a known issue. That issue I can confirm for more than just myself.
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