How Do I Recover From Being Scammed

by iron1
17 replies
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I'm asking for some advice here, I started working online in 2007, by 2013 I had built a 10k a month business selling solos. I was contacted by someone who's name I recognized as being kind of a "big shot". He asked me to become his partner in a venture to create an internet presence for a multi-millionaire who'd made his money doing inspirational stuff. This "big shot" had pics of himself with celebrities and at pricey functions. He seemed legit on the surface. I decided to become his partner. I gave him access to everything I had, email server, paypal, my contracts.. you name it.

It took him 3 months to completely ruin my reputation and dry up my income. He did double contracts, took payments intended for me, promised my services all without my knowledge or consent. I was so busy with the project of the multi-millionaire, that I had tunnel vision. I couldnt see what was right in from of me. Finally my wife got thru to me and I saw for the first time with clear eyes what was happening.

So I was left broke, my business and reputation damaged. I was a treated like a leper by colleagues just because I had partnered with him. I had no idea he made his living by scamming and using people. This was two years ago this week. I'm still trying to get back to where I was. I've rebuilt my business but it's not what it was. I'm trying to come out of the entire mess a wiser and stronger person. Does anyone have any advice that may help me recover? It's much appreciated.
#recover #scammed
  • Profile picture of the author Cali16
    Your best bet is to talk to an attorney to see if there is any legal action you can take to recoup at least some of your money at this point in time. Hopefully you kept records of all your correspondence, transactions, etc.
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    • Profile picture of the author iron1
      I have, the only problem is, the old saying "you cant get blood out of a turnip" comes heavily into play here and last I heard he was stuck in South America due to some shady business. I feel like it would just cost me more money and time in the long run. Thank You for your reply, much appreciated.
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      • Profile picture of the author irawr
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        Originally Posted by iron1 View Post

        I have, the only problem is, the old saying "you cant get blood out of a turnip" comes heavily into play here and last I heard he was stuck in South America due to some shady business. I feel like it would just cost me more money and time in the long run. Thank You for your reply, much appreciated.
        It might be bloody if you squeeze it long enough. You could start working with a lawyer, build your case, if you catch wind the guy has some cash, push the paperwork on him.
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      • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
        Originally Posted by iron1 View Post

        I'm asking for some advice here, I started working online in 2007, by 2013 I had built a 10k a month business selling solos. I was contacted by someone who's name I recognized as being kind of a "big shot". He asked me to become his partner in a venture to create an internet presence for a multi-millionaire who'd made his money doing inspirational stuff. This "big shot" had pics of himself with celebrities and at pricey functions. He seemed legit on the surface. I decided to become his partner. I gave him access to everything I had, email server, paypal, my contracts.. you name it.
        It took him 3 months to completely ruin my reputation and dry up my income. He did double contracts, took payments intended for me, promised my services all without my knowledge or consent. I was so busy with the project of the multi-millionaire, that I had tunnel vision. I couldnt see what was right in from of me. Finally my wife got thru to me and I saw for the first time with clear eyes what was happening.
        So I was left broke, my business and reputation damaged. I was a treated like a leper by colleagues just because I had partnered with him. I had no idea he made his living by scamming and using people. This was two years ago this week. I'm still trying to get back to where I was. I've rebuilt my business but it's not what it was. I'm trying to come out of the entire mess a wiser and stronger person. Does anyone have any advice that may help me recover? It's much appreciated.
        Yes, got conned about a year ago, not as much as 10k, but in the ballpark.

        Almost took every cent l had, well, l maxed out the CC.

        I learned at the airport after waiting for hours, from the crime squad that it was a scam.

        I certainly wanted to hit a tree on the drive home, but in the end it is money, and money can be recovered.

        Now, l have it all back and am getting the hang of my graphics business!

        I might even be able to watch Dirty Rotten Scoundrels again, (haven't been able to watch that since it happened).


        The creature l ran into was a professional, (well, her and others) since they had all bases covered, and getting it back was virtually impossible.

        Yep, older and wiser is right, l helped someone else here a few months after that incident, and he wanted about $125 up front for some flyers.

        But l took it one flyer at a time, glad l did, since he only moved things about and added lighting affects for $25 each, or 10 minutes work, (pretty useless).

        In the end, after refusing to give him any more, he pulled the deal, but didn't return all of the money!

        It was only $10, but since he posted here regularly and talked about seeing this and buying that pretty obvious he had the money.

        In the end he told everyone here what he did, to teach me a lesson since l forgot to check Paypal, which defaults to AU currency instead of US.

        And he was banned for life!


        So, rest assured this A**** will get his one day. He might be clever enough to get away with it, but one day he will scr** the wrong person, and get clobbered.


        The thing about lies and deceit, is it takes a lot of effort to keep all of the balls in the air, all of the time.

        Just look at NASA, they have so many in the air, they occasionally drop some!

        But there days are numbered.

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        • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
          Originally Posted by tagiscom View Post

          Now, l have it all back and am getting the hang of my graphics business
          Hey Shane - that's good to hear. Congrats.
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  • Profile picture of the author bluejeans
    Originally Posted by iron1 View Post

    Does anyone have any advice that may help me recover? It's much appreciated.
    What comes to mind for me is the following -- is there something you could do to transform this unfortunate chapter in your life into something that's meaningful and helps others avoid the same kinds of situations?
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  • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
    Iron1, sorry to hear about your story. If this guy was well-known in the business, you surely wouldn't have been the only one he took for a ride, and sooner or later, it's possible that many, if not most of your previous colleagues will come round to accepting you weren't deliberately complicit. In the meantime you can only continue to build a reputation for quality and integrity with your current and future clients.

    Originally Posted by iron1 View Post

    I'm trying to come out of the entire mess a wiser and stronger person.
    Sounds like you're well on the road to achieving that aim. I wish you all the best.
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  • Profile picture of the author detroitwomen
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    • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
      Originally Posted by Frank Donovan View Post

      Hey Shane - that's good to hear. Congrats.
      Thanks Frank, well, getting it back from these creatures was impossible, but l saved it back.

      Onwards on upwards, hopefully!

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      • Profile picture of the author Kay King
        You won't get over it until you move past it. Sounds simpler than it is. If you are an honest and ethical businessman - just keep building your business and that will be evidence to those you work with online.

        You can't "get back at" him - he's out of reach. However, you can move forward yourself and be smarter about who you partner with and who you talk to and what you believe. Chances are is stories of big wealth and possibilities drew you in - happens to all of us at times. Analyze and accept YOUR part in the destruction of the business so you know what to avoid in the future.

        His character will come through to people - as will yours. It will take time but you can rise above it and end up a stronger person and businessman because of it.
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  • Profile picture of the author agc
    I seriously wish our government understood this impact of this stuff on a citizen and took this stuff seriously.

    I personally would love for the CIA to put a few heads on stakes in a few of the third world sh*t holes where it's prevalent, stapling a note to the head that says "I stole from the wrong person on the internet."

    Of course that's for the straight up 419 and dating scams.

    This sounds like a different kind of scam, but the same treatment doesn't seem unreasonable.
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  • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
    Over the years, I've learned that the ones who appear to be high flyers are the ones
    to watch out for. The head of a bank that was one of the biggest bank failures in
    history got all sorts of positive publicity and his picture all over the local papers before the
    collapse of his bank and criminal charges... Before the bank went down, everybody thought
    he was one helluva business man and philanthropist. Likewise for your guy with photos
    of him with famous people. I could go to a conference and get myself a picture with Frank Kern
    and then use it for inappropriate self-promotion for quite a while.

    Review the situation and the red flags you over looked and learn from those red flags. Learn
    to be more objective in the future. Relive and regret, but don't ever repeat.

    There might be some key colleagues who can help you rebuild after you explain in private the situation. In private.

    Perhaps redress and patch up situations where you had some involvement as best you can.

    If you're going to be traveling in the same circles again, you might want to work with a lawyer
    and/or publicity firm to legally rebuild your reputation as best you can. Maybe have a blog page ot YouTube factually explaining your side of the story without getting yourself into legal trouble because nothing against this guy has been proven in a court of law.
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    • Profile picture of the author Jill Carpenter
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      You won't get over it until you move past it. Sounds simpler than it is. .
      Yep.

      I feel your pain. Been there, spent a few years doing next to nothing for my business needs, moved into starting to do things again, ran into another "not a great fit" scenario, racked my brain some more, and finally feel like I'm just about ready to ramp things back up again.

      It's led into issues of feeling the need to control every little aspect, which is a very slow and tedious task. Toss the "personal life" issues into the mix and see how easy it is to just go completely numb and stagnant.

      I'd been scammed in a different way, but it has the same effects.

      Moving past it is key for sure.

      I think that finding new inspiration, changes in mind set, elimination of things that don't make you happy, and detailed planning ahead are all keys in the process.
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      • Profile picture of the author iron1
        Originally Posted by Jill Carpenter View Post

        I think that finding new inspiration, changes in mind set, elimination of things that don't make you happy, and detailed planning ahead are all keys in the process.
        100% agreed Jill
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        • Profile picture of the author Jill Carpenter
          Originally Posted by iron1 View Post

          100% agreed Jill
          I'm going to guess that you too feel like at times you are "chasing the dragon."

          I'm familiar with that term being used for someone who has done something like heroine (something I could never bring myself to even think about trying), and they keep going back trying to get that first "high" they got at some point but it's near impossible to get back to that.

          Urban Dictionary: Chasing the dragon

          Geeze, I almost think I could write a little amazon book about IM chasing the dragon. lol
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          • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
            Originally Posted by iron1 View Post

            IMHO one of the key elements of this type of recovery I've found so far is to hold yourself 100% accountable for your part in the matter. I don't mean that you should accept all the blame and turn the other cheek, but when you finally realize the only thing that you truly have control of is your own actions...well then that right there breathes new life into recovering and moving forward for me!

            There's a silver lining and a lesson learned in almost every bad situation but it truly is up to each person to put on their big boy/girl pants and get back in the mix. What doesn't kill you will make you stronger.

            I'm honored to hear all your replies to this dirty mess we all face eventually (in one way or another). Thanks!

            Anthony
            Yep, after my mess, l worked like a dog so l didn't think about it too much and dig my way out a bit quicker.

            And one idea broke, but another more or less has lead to where l am now. Or seeing an opportunity l kept missing!

            A bit like l kept going for the diamond ring and missing the gold!

            And, a lot of chocolate helps, LOL!



            PS if you are a Dirty, Rotten Scoundrels fan, best to bury it for at least a year, too many painful references in that one!

            But the Shawshank Redemption, yes, the more the merrier!


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  • Profile picture of the author iron1
    IMHO one of the key elements of this type of recovery I've found so far is to hold yourself 100% accountable for your part in the matter. I don't mean that you should accept all the blame and turn the other cheek, but when you finally realize the only thing that you truly have control of is your own actions...well then that right there breathes new life into recovering and moving forward for me!

    There's a silver lining and a lesson learned in almost every bad situation but it truly is up to each person to put on their big boy/girl pants and get back in the mix. What doesn't kill you will make you stronger.

    I'm honored to hear all your replies to this dirty mess we all face eventually (in one way or another). Thanks!

    Anthony
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    • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
      Originally Posted by iron1 View Post

      IMHO one of the key elements of this type of recovery I've found so far is to hold yourself 100% accountable for your part in the matter. I don't mean that you should accept all the blame and turn the other cheek, but when you finally realize the only thing that you truly have control of is your own actions...well then that right there breathes new life into recovering and moving forward for me!

      There's a silver lining and a lesson learned in almost every bad situation but it truly is up to each person to put on their big boy/girl pants and get back in the mix. What doesn't kill you will make you stronger.

      I'm honored to hear all your replies to this dirty mess we all face eventually (in one way or another). Thanks!

      Anthony
      This is good to hear you say. I think you will turn yourself around just fine.

      I was once approached to do reputation management by someone who wanted all his negative
      information buried. He talked as if he had never done anything wrong. No accountability
      on his part. The problems were that he was currently defendant in several civil law suits
      and had quite a few criminal convictions and civil judgments against him.
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