Showerthoughts: I live alone with a cat. The most used word in my home is probably "meow".
Snowmobile engines should be rated in dogpower.
College is a place where we go to learn about how to pay off College.
Porn stars should choose pseudonyms that are easier to type with only your left hand
It's going to get super scary once people make computer viruses for self-driving cars.
The object of golf is to play the least amount of golf.
Showerthoughts
If you're a woman and you're annoyed that there's no song that has your name, you can name your daughter Stacy to fix it
Joe Mobley
"May I have ten thousand marbles, please?"
Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.