Time Does Not Heal All Wounds

by BigFrank Banned
33 replies
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Greetings,

Three years since my best friend passed and the pain is still more than I can sometimes bear. Can't explain it.

Give your pet a big hug, today and every day.

Cheers. - Frank

  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    Frank -

    I saw just the title of the thread and my thought was "other people miss people-friends and I miss my dogs most of all"....

    ...then read the post and realized I wasn't the only one!

    Gave Gracie an extra hug - she's already had several this morning but one more won't hurt.
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      My Friend;

      To be honest, my entire adult life, I wondered how people could get so emotionally distraught over the death of a pet. "It's an animal. Just get another one" was my thought.

      But I've had my stupid cat for about a month now. I get it now. I really do.

      And for decades, I would be in people's homes (selling) and they would treat their pets like children. Stupid people.....

      Now I'm one of them. Weird.

      Frank, your dog loved you every minute of every day. You were her entire world. There is no greater gift.

      I love my cat, but it probably doesn't love me...... And every parent knows...that doesn't matter.
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      • Profile picture of the author Kurt
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        My Friend;

        To be honest, my entire adult life, I wondered how people could get so emotionally distraught over the death of a pet. "It's an animal. Just get another one" was my thought.

        But I've had my stupid cat for about a month now. I get it now. I really do.

        And for decades, I would be in people's homes (selling) and they would treat their pets like children. Stupid people.....

        Now I'm one of them. Weird.

        Frank, your dog loved you every minute of every day. You were her entire world. There is no greater gift.

        I love my cat, but it probably doesn't love me...... And every parent knows...that doesn't matter.
        I wanted a Rottweiler for a long time. I use to tell myself, "When I get a Rottweiler nobody better mess with me or he'll kick their butt!"

        Within an hour of finally getting a Rottweiler puppy, I was telling myself, "Nobody better mess with my Rottweiler or I'll kick their butt!"

        This is actually 100% true...

        When I lost him, it literally took me 3 years before I could go down the pet aisle at the grocery. If I needed motor oil or anything else that happened to be in the same aisle, I'd go to a different store. Before, every time I went I'd buy him something.
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      • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
        Banned
        Originally Posted by BigFrank View Post

        Greetings,

        Three years since my best friend passed and the pain is still more than I can sometimes bear. Can't explain it.

        Give your pet a big hug, today and every day.

        Cheers. - Frank

        I know how you feel. I still miss Boomer, my Basset Hound tremendously.

        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        My Friend;

        I love my cat, but it probably doesn't love me...... And every parent knows...that doesn't matter.
        Your cat loves you. It will undoubtedly grow into a great deal more affection for you, but any animal that is rescued and then taken to a place where it is well cared for and loved, is grateful and appreciates it, even though the only way they can show that is to act like a cat (or a dog or other animal). It's not like they are going to bake you a cake, rub your feet at night or write messages in the sky. lol.

        Except for Walker. He was so abused, that he is so needy and affectionate that he clings to me constantly. I don't mind really. He needs it after 5 years of hell.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mark Singletary
    Frank, I agree with your thoughts. Your Baby was lucky to have a daddy that cared so much.

    A few years ago when we were away from home overnight, one of our dogs got out and got hit by a car. When we returned home we couldn't find him despite searching hard for a couple days.

    After that we had to go out of town for 2-3 days and so we gave up, in a sense, because we had to leave. The first night away we received a call from the previous owner. Someone had found the dog lying side of the road after being hit by a car and took him to the vet. The vet scanned for the chip and called the previous owner who got in touch with us.

    We rushed back to our home town and this poor fellow was basically dead. The 2 vets in town had both done their best but they said that our only chance was to get him to a bigger place with more experienced vets.

    Just so happened that the place we had gone too was much bigger but by the time we got back to the city it was almost 9:00 PM. We called several different vets begging them to take a look but nobody would do it because they were closed or closing. We rode by one place that refused us on the phone but we decided that they were our only hope.

    We went in and the staff said that they had already told us no and that they couldn't help.

    We had been praying that someone, somewhere could help our dog but it seemed that the prayers were all in vain. As we were walking out the door, distraught knowing he probably wouldn't make it through the night without help, one of the doctors came through the door to leave for the night. She took pity on him and agreed to see him.

    She said there wasn't much she could do but she did give him some medicine to try and help his pain and help him make it through the night. She suggested we needed to go to an even bigger city the next day to get the help he needed.

    That night we were watching TV in the motel room with him in a box by the bed. I was on the bed next to him and all the sudden he woke up and started to climb out of the box to get to me. I tried to put him back in the box because he shouldn't be moving around and I didn't want to hold him because of his injuries.

    He raised up again to come to me and get out of the box. This was all surprising because at the first vet in our home town, he didn't even respond to us. He didn't wag his tail or have any reaction at all because he was in such bad shape. But now he kept trying to get out of the box - almost like he was back to normal again even though nothing had really changed at all.

    The 3rd time he tried to get out of the box I decided to take him in my arms and hold him. As soon as I was holding him and petting him, he made a little whimper and immediately left us. I told my wife to come and help me check because I wasn't sure he was dead since this was the first time I had had this type of experience. We checked and sure enough he was gone.

    The little fella just wanted to be held one more time. He knew, I guess, he was finished but he didn't want to go alone in that cardboard box. He wanted to go while in the arms of family.

    Since that time, I have tried my best to hug my other 2 dogs no matter how inconvenient it is if they want to be held. Because I'm scared to death that desire to be held is because they know something I don't and their time to go may be fast approaching.

    Mark
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    • Profile picture of the author ThomM
      I can defiantly relate to that Frank. I've had two dogs that I miss and keep their pictures near my desk. When I got the cat I currently have my thinking was to get a pet I wouldn't get attached to like I did my dogs, boy was I wrong.
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      • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
        Originally Posted by ThomM View Post

        I can defiantly relate to that Frank. I've had two dogs that I miss and keep their pictures near my desk. When I got the cat I currently have my thinking was to get a pet I wouldn't get attached to like I did my dogs, boy was I wrong.
        Several days ago, my stupid cat got it's hind leg caught in the recliner footrest, and it twisted in a very unnatural position. My wife was in the chair, and started screaming, because she couldn't move in the chair, for fear of hurting the cat further. When I got there, the cat was flailing about, and it looked like his leg was broken.

        I grabbed him, and pulled him free. He ran under the dining room table to hide. My wife and I were both sure he had a broken leg or hip.

        I picked him up, checked him over, and laid him back down on the floor.

        He was really OK, It took a lot out of him though, he slept the whole night. I know, I was right next to him.

        But when we didn't know, I remember thinking, "Whatever it takes. A new hip, surgery, whatever".

        Later, my wife and I talked about it. Years ago, we discussed how some people think their pets are like children. And I said something like, "People spend thousands of dollars on surgery to save a pet's life. You can get a new one for nothing. I don't get it".

        But I got it that night. I really did.
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    • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
      Originally Posted by Mark Singletary View Post

      Frank, I agree with your thoughts. Your Baby was lucky to have a daddy that cared so much.

      A few years ago when we were away from home overnight, one of our dogs got out and got hit by a car. When we returned home we couldn't find him despite searching hard for a couple days.

      After that we had to go out of town for 2-3 days and so we gave up, in a sense, because we had to leave. The first night away we received a call from the previous owner. Someone had found the dog lying side of the road after being hit by a car and took him to the vet. The vet scanned for the chip and called the previous owner who got in touch with us.

      We rushed back to our home town and this poor fellow was basically dead. The 2 vets in town had both done their best but they said that our only chance was to get him to a bigger place with more experienced vets.

      Just so happened that the place we had gone too was much bigger but by the time we got back to the city it was almost 9:00 PM. We called several different vets begging them to take a look but nobody would do it because they were closed or closing. We rode by one place that refused us on the phone but we decided that they were our only hope.

      We went in and the staff said that they had already told us no and that they couldn't help.

      We had been praying that someone, somewhere could help our dog but it seemed that the prayers were all in vain. As we were walking out the door, distraught knowing he probably wouldn't make it through the night without help, one of the doctors came through the door to leave for the night. She took pity on him and agreed to see him.

      She said there wasn't much she could do but she did give him some medicine to try and help his pain and help him make it through the night. She suggested we needed to go to an even bigger city the next day to get the help he needed.

      That night we were watching TV in the motel room with him in a box by the bed. I was on the bed next to him and all the sudden he woke up and started to climb out of the box to get to me. I tried to put him back in the box because he shouldn't be moving around and I didn't want to hold him because of his injuries.

      He raised up again to come to me and get out of the box. This was all surprising because at the first vet in our home town, he didn't even respond to us. He didn't wag his tail or have any reaction at all because he was in such bad shape. But now he kept trying to get out of the box - almost like he was back to normal again even though nothing had really changed at all.

      The 3rd time he tried to get out of the box I decided to take him in my arms and hold him. As soon as I was holding him and petting him, he made a little whimper and immediately left us. I told my wife to come and help me check because I wasn't sure he was dead since this was the first time I had had this type of experience. We checked and sure enough he was gone.

      The little fella just wanted to be held one more time. He knew, I guess, he was finished but he didn't want to go alone in that cardboard box. He wanted to go while in the arms of family.

      Since that time, I have tried my best to hug my other 2 dogs no matter how inconvenient it is if they want to be held. Because I'm scared to death that desire to be held is because they know something I don't and their time to go may be fast approaching.

      Mark
      Dammit, Mark. You just reminded me that I have feelings.
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      • Profile picture of the author Kay King
        Claude -

        I had a cat trapped for 3 days under a recliner. It was a chair I never used but my son had sat there when visiting.

        Cat didn't make any noise I could hear - and I only found him because the dog kept going to the chair and then looking at me like "what's up?".

        Cat was OK other than thirty/hungry and a bit ticked off. I learned to check for cats before closing recliner...
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        • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
          Banned
          Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

          Claude -

          I had a cat trapped for 3 days under a recliner. It was a chair I never used but my son had sat there when visiting.

          Cat didn't make any noise I could hear - and I only found him because the dog kept going to the chair and then looking at me like "what's up?".

          Cat was OK other than thirty/hungry and a bit ticked off. I learned to check for cats before closing recliner...
          Last night Jack disappeared from the face of the earth. All bedroom doors and bathroom door and back and front doors and sunroom and office door was closed, so there was no place for him to go except the great room and kitchen. I looked everywhere in that area to no avail. Finally, I looked at the recliner, which hasn't been used for months. Outwardly, there was no reason to suspect it, but I pulled up the footstool part and he sauntered out. Don't have a clue how fat Jack managed to get in there without visibly moving that footstool so that it was noticeable.
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      • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
        Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

        Dammit, Mark. You just reminded me that I have feelings.
        Mark reminded me that I have feelings too...that are 37% stronger than the feelings of a mere Riffle.
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        • Profile picture of the author BigFrank
          Banned
          Thanks for your stories and kind words, everyone.

          Here's my girl, enjoying a beautiful summer day.

          Cheers. - Frank

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          • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
            Nice sized swimming pool you have there
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            • Profile picture of the author BigFrank
              Banned
              Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

              Nice sized swimming pool you have there
              Not too trashy. :-)

              Cheers. - Frank

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          • Profile picture of the author discrat
            Originally Posted by BigFrank View Post

            Thanks for your stories and kind words, everyone.

            Here's my girl, enjoying a beautiful summer day.

            Cheers. - Frank

            yeah, looks like the dog has it's eyes on it's Owner Big Frank... the guy with the big bucket head floating in the middle
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            • Profile picture of the author BigFrank
              Banned
              Originally Posted by discrat View Post

              yeah, looks like the dog has it's eyes on it's Owner Big Frank... the guy with the big bucket head floating in the middle
              Yes, that would be me. She never let me out of her sight. Good dog!

              Cheers. - Frank
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              • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
                Originally Posted by BigFrank View Post

                Yes, that would be me. She never let me out of her sight. Good dog!

                Cheers. - Frank
                Frank; That's how you should always be seen....at a distance......from the neck up.
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                • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
                  Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                  Frank; That's how you should always be seen....at a distance......from the neck up.
                  That's all we are here, a bunch of talking heads. Some of us talk from lower down though.
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                  • Profile picture of the author BigFrank
                    Banned
                    Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

                    That's all we are here, a bunch of talking heads. Some of us talk from lower down though.
                    True - you need to work on that. :-)

                    Cheers. - Frank
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                  • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
                    Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

                    That's all we are here, a bunch of talking heads. Some of us talk from lower down though.
                    I'm not sure what...you...HEY! Hey Mister! ...That's not...Hey! Cut it out, Buster!
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                    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
                      My discomfort must have come through in the pms?
                      Just didn't quite sound like you - or the "you" I know. At the time I had a feeling something wasn't quite right at your end. Didn't think of "sick" though.

                      Glad you had a safe place to land for a bit till you get your fighting strength back!

                      Silver Springs - in NV?
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                      Saving one dog will not change the world - but the world changes forever for that one dog
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                • Profile picture of the author BigFrank
                  Banned
                  Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                  Frank; That's how you should always be seen....at a distance......from the neck up.
                  The only parts of me worth mentioning are from the neck up - that beautiful mug and the even more beautiful mind.

                  Cheers. - Frank
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                  • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
                    Originally Posted by BigFrank View Post

                    The only parts of me worth mentioning are from the neck up - that beautiful mug and the even more beautiful mind.

                    Cheers. - Frank
                    Yes, those are worthy goals for you. Good luck.
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    • Profile picture of the author discrat
      Originally Posted by Mark Singletary View Post


      The little fella just wanted to be held one more time. He knew, I guess, he was finished but he didn't want to go alone in that cardboard box. He wanted to go while in the arms of family.

      Since that time, I have tried my best to hug my other 2 dogs no matter how inconvenient it is if they want to be held. Because I'm scared to death that desire to be held is because they know something I don't and their time to go may be fast approaching.

      Mark
      Wow, Mark. Very sad but also incredibly beautiful at the same time. Thanks for sharing such an intimate story
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  • Profile picture of the author Janice Sperry
    It has been 5 years since I lost my wonderful cat Hobbes. I still think about him often but not with the same intense grief I had for the first couple years. I think for many people it is harder to lose a dog. Everyone grieves in different ways of course. I hope if time is not healing your wound that at least it might slowly get a little bit less overwhelming.
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  • Profile picture of the author ignaciosports
    I also have pet dog. After reading this intimate story i really afraid. God please bless my Buzzo.
    RIP to your dog.
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  • Profile picture of the author yukon
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    Claude's cat gets mad when he leaves hairballs on the couch.
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    • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
      Originally Posted by yukon View Post

      Claude's cat gets mad when he leaves hairballs on the couch.
      Those hairballs didn't come from his head, so where exactly did they come from?

      Please don't reply to this question.
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      • Profile picture of the author Kay King
        Sally - I wondered what was up with you lately...felt like something wasn't right.

        Take care of you - there's a pup somewhere waiting for you...or will be soon. We had a rottie at the adoption foundation recently and I thought of you.
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        Saving one dog will not change the world - but the world changes forever for that one dog
        ***
        Please do not 'release balloons' for celebrations. The balloons and trailing ribbons entangle birds and kill wildlife and livestock that think the balloons are food.
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        • Profile picture of the author HeySal
          Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

          Sally - I wondered what was up with you lately...felt like something wasn't right.

          Take care of you - there's a pup somewhere waiting for you...or will be soon. We had a rottie at the adoption foundation recently and I thought of you.
          I was on my way under when we last pm'd. Thought I had more time to fix things - I literally became so allergic to the house I was staying in that it caused me the first hospitalization I've had for acute asthma in over 50 years. About the same thing as Terra was going through with her last house. My pal in Silver Springs freaked over it and I am now out of the place and living in the Springs with him again - and it's wonderful, small town and great friend, kewl neighbors, and a lot of outdoors. I'll be good again soon. I had plans for a job in Virginia city which is halfway from where I was and where I wanted to end up so I could transition more easily, but just didn't have the extra month to 6 weeks I needed before that town opens back up for the summer. My discomfort must have come through in the pms? I don't remember mentioning it at all.

          Anyway - Not sure where I'll end up, closer to Carson or staying here.........but you and I think alike on this one..............when it is right, my guy will show up. They always have found me at the right place and at the right time. I suspect this time will be no different. This time my boy will be a young puppy again. I want a young kid to train up the way I want. He's going to be a search and rescue pup. I was always sorry that I didn't get to Ricky when he was still young. While he learned a lot (old dogs do learn new tricks) and we loved every minute we ever had out together.........I always regretted not being able to teach him S & R because of his advanced years. He got little bits of it, but didn't have time left on the planet to be fully functional, and was a little old to probably have enjoyed much beyond the few parts I did teach him.

          All in all - I'm glad to have a little time to get back to my old self after this warning bitchslap I just got before I try to deal with a little package of bundled energy again. LOL.
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      • Profile picture of the author yukon
        Banned
        Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

        Those hairballs didn't come from his head, so where exactly did they come from?

        Please don't reply to this question.
        Maybe he was cleaning the cat?

        I have to reply since you said don't reply.
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Ricky's last pic - standing neck deep in his favorite pond at a campsite we used to love to go to alone and with friends - stands on my dresser in my room. It is a bittersweet picture which makes me smile and crumples me at the same time. It's been a few years now but I still miss him every day. When I think about him, I start to think about all my other boys over the decades, and there's not one, not one, that I don't still miss.

    At the time I am not able to have another.........and I know I will never be whole again until I hold my own little precious furball again and tell him his name.

    Last week I was released from the hospital - second trip in 2 weeks, the first one being 3 days, the second one just a same day release. I can pinpoint when my health started to decline. It was during my grief over losing my little Ricky. That's when the weight loss started - when I stopped walking and getting out religiously every day. It just wasn't the same without a soul mate to share it with - and my dogs are never less than a part of my soul. Over time the weight loss zapped some of my strength, and during a time I got just an average winter illness like most people experience (some every damned year regularly) I had a total collapse.

    I'm getting better now and realize I have to be diligent to get back to the usually superior health and condition I always have been in .........until I lost my Ricky. Who realized the toll that grief can take on us?

    I have a niece who looks up to me and needs me........and now she has a daughter...smart as a whip - 9 months old and almost walking and starting to talk......and she needs her great aunt to go out in the field with the family and teach them about rocks and wilderness survival and other sorts of things that she and her mom only learn from aunt Sal............. But that thought, as much as I love those people.....was not what is saving me. It is the knowledge that it won't be long before I am in circumstance to have another little sweetie of my own.....and he will need me to be fit to keep him healthy and to teach him, to be an able partner.

    My boys have awhile yet before I cross the divide to see them again. Dogs are patient souls. They will be okay with waiting while I add another to our eternal family.
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    • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
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      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      Last week I was released from the hospital - second trip in 2 weeks, the first one being 3 days, the second one just a same day release. I can pinpoint when my health started to decline. It was during my grief over losing my little Ricky.
      Sorry to hear about your illness and hope you back to good health soon.
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