what has everyone done today??

I installed my first aglet! The manufacturer's instructions were totally useless, though, so I just had to figure it out all by myself. There's only three more to go, and should be finished in the next few days or so.

Even though the set came with full installation instructions, it was so complicated you need to have a degree in rocket science or something just to understand it. If I had to do it all over again, I would have them pre-installed, although they do cost more.

The installation handbook is written in English, Spanish, French, German, and Chinese. The Chinese portion alone is nearly 100 pages. I was so frustrated trying to read the damn thing that I threw it so hard against my office wall that it put a hole in it. Now I have to go get some stuff to patch the gaping hole in the dry wall, but that's for another day.

But have you ever seen so much jibberish from an installation handbook? Here's part of the instructions from page 14 of 61 pages of the English portion:

"In combination, a shoelace having stiffened cylindrical tips at its extremities, an adapter equipped with a hollow shoelace attachment end into which a succession of coaxially aligned sockets are formed wherein said sockets are each cylindrical in configuration and successively decrease in diameter with increasing distance from said shoelace attachment end and correspond in diameter with different sizes of commercially available shoelace tips, and wherein said adapter also has a decoration fastening end with a fitting on said decoration fastening end, and a decorative article small enough for attachment to a shoelace tip and having a fitting on said decorative article that mates with and is releasably attached to said fitting on said decoration fastening end of said adapter, and wherein one of said stiffened tips of said shoelace is inserted into and held by friction within a one of said sockets that is of a diameter corresponding to the size of said one of said stiffened tips.

In combination, a shoe having eyelets, a flexible shoelace having opposite shoelace ends and stiffened, cylindrical tips at said shoelace ends wherein said shoelace is laced through said eyelets, a decorative article of a size suitable for attachment to said stiffened tips at said shoelace ends, and an adapter joining said decorative article to one of said shoelace tips and having opposite first and second adapter ends wherein said first adapter end is configured to securely receive said decorative article and said second adapter end is hollow and defines therewithin a plurality of coaxial, cylindrical sockets of decreasing diameter proceeding from said second adapter end toward said first adapter end, each of said sockets corresponding in size to a different size selected from among commercially available shoelace end sizes, and wherein one of said tips of said shoelace that is laced through said eyelets is frictionally engaged in one of said sockets of a size corresponding to one of said commercially available shoelace end sizes.

A shoelace comprising at least one connector tip having a first member and a second member; wherein said first member is attached to the shoelace to form a shoelace tip and comprises a fitting mechanism for securely and removably attaching said second member of said connector tip to said first member, and wherein second member has a decorative article attached thereto comprising a compatible fitting mechanism for securely and removably attaching said second member having said decorative article to said first member of said connector tip.

The deluxe version is an improved shoelace ornamental apparatus is provided having a first substantially permanent apparatus attached to the tip of the shoelace and the ornamental device with an attachment means designed to engage the first permanent apparatus. The attachment means preferable consists of a screw means, but alternately can consist of a magnetic or press-fit means, snap clip or other retaining means. The body of the shoelace ornamental apparatus can be shaped as desired, such as the shape of an object or the face of a cartoon character. It is recommended that a professional aglet specialist perform this delicate procedure.

Accordingly, it is an objective of the manufacturer to provide a lace decorating device which can be readily applied to and removed from the tip or ends of a shoelace. Another objective for the deluxe version is to provide a lace decorating device that permits the a variety of shapes and configurations and readily interchangeably mounted on the tip of the shoelaces. A further objective is to provide a shoelace ornamental apparatus which is securely retained on a tipped lace yet is readily removed there from when desired."

You really have to be extremely careful because aglets are easily damaged during installation.

My lawyer advised me not to answer this question.

No can do. That would require extensive refrabrication and retrofitting which is immutably and imprudently impractical considering the prohibitive expense directly impacting my bottom line. I will be consulting with an aglet engineer by phone in India to expedite the installation process. There's probably just a simple installation step I may be overlooking.