I hate my job :( *WARNING: Strong Language*

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My job is so f**king terrible. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the idiots I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is dumb as sh*t, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career oppertunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" bits. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive past B&Q, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the f**king stoner. And this guy is more than just your average stoner. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big f**king dog to work. Every f**king day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single f**king day.

Anyway, I drive these f**ktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and sh*t.
  • Profile picture of the author Killer Joe
    Sounds like you work at Beavis and Butthead, Inc.

    I got the munchies just reading your post...


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  • Profile picture of the author BurgerBoy
    Sounds like a typical job environment.
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  • Profile picture of the author ConnorMRR
    Sounds like my family!
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  • Profile picture of the author Nicola Lane
    How much does it date me that I recognise this as Scooby Doo?

    BTW My dad has a great dane called scooby
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    • Profile picture of the author KimW
      Originally Posted by Nicola Lane View Post

      How much does it date me that I recognise this as Scooby Doo?

      BTW My dad has a great dane called scooby
      Great catch!
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  • Profile picture of the author R Hagel
    I didn't catch on until the last line:

    Originally Posted by Gary McCaffrey View Post

    Anyway, I drive these f**ktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and sh*t.

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  • Profile picture of the author acrasial
    Did we mention also, that this makes you the blonde as well?
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      Man, you wouldn't believe this #$%* guy I work with. He thinks he's god's gift to the business world and sits in judgment of everyone as if they care. He thinks we're all stupid and the job is a waste of time - thinks computer games are mind expanding activities. Oh, and his language sucks - f this and f that all day long. He hates animals, too. What a loser.

      The ditsy blond:p
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  • Profile picture of the author BiancaRaven
    LOL - you've been watching too many Scooby Doo cartoons, especially if you're identifying with the blonde Freddie from the mystery-solving bunch :p
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  • Profile picture of the author gareth
    You Fuc*ing basterd You had me going there
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      Yeah - life is rough, ain't it?
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      Saving one dog will not save the world....but will forever change the world of one dog.
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  • Profile picture of the author CDarklock
    Originally Posted by Gary McCaffrey View Post

    I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" bits.
    WTF, when did this abomination become expected feminine hygiene? Is this "pedophile nation" or something? That's how you know they're ripe. It's how you spot freaks and weirdos and psycho hose-beasts before it's too late. I swear, men these days are constantly going around saying "why do I keep dating psychos and freaks?" and wondering why they can't get the real, quality women... and then they have expectations like this.

    Our species is freakin' doomed. If this keeps up, we're going to be completely incapable of meaningful relationships within a couple of generations, and there won't be very many generations left after that.
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    • Profile picture of the author Michael Motley
      Originally Posted by CDarklock View Post

      WTF, when did this abomination become expected feminine hygiene? Is this "pedophile nation" or something? That's how you know they're ripe. It's how you spot freaks and weirdos and psycho hose-beasts before it's too late. I swear, men these days are constantly going around saying "why do I keep dating psychos and freaks?" and wondering why they can't get the real, quality women... and then they have expectations like this.

      Our species is freakin' doomed. If this keeps up, we're going to be completely incapable of meaningful relationships within a couple of generations, and there won't be very many generations left after that.
      Real men dont date girls that shave?

      Just because you date the backwoods girls doesnt mean everyone wants a female that showers once a week and only uses a razor to shave off her mustache.
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      • Profile picture of the author CDarklock
        Originally Posted by Michael Motley View Post

        Real men dont date girls that shave?
        No, real men don't date girls. They date women. Women have bush. That's how you know the difference: if she's not got a bush, she's not ready!

        It's one thing if a woman shaves little patterns in it and grooms, but if you like your women completely clean shaven, just admit it: you like little girls. You actually wish you could date ten year olds. You're a pervert.
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        "The Golden Town is the Golden Town no longer. They have sold their pillars for brass and their temples for money, they have made coins out of their golden doors. It is become a dark town full of trouble, there is no ease in its streets, beauty has left it and the old songs are gone." - Lord Dunsany, The Messengers
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        • Profile picture of the author Justin DSP
          Originally Posted by CDarklock View Post

          No, real men don't date girls. They date women. Women have bush. That's how you know the difference: if she's not got a bush, she's not ready!

          It's one thing if a woman shaves little patterns in it and grooms, but if you like your women completely clean shaven, just admit it: you like little girls. You actually wish you could date ten year olds. You're a pervert.
          Everyone has a opinion on what they like.

          So lets take the last episode of the Real Housewifes of Atlanta, they got on the topic and guess what, they all shave everything off. And they are well over the age of 10, some of them are even 4 times + the age.

          Then lets take Househusbands of hollywood, the same topic came up and one lady who is over 55 shaves it all.
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          • Profile picture of the author L.Roman
            I gave up thinking about co-workers a long time ago. With time you realize that it's useless. I made my life happier buy ignoring everything they do, say or how they act...I care 1000000000 ****s about their dysfunctional personalities, the results were great!!!
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          • Profile picture of the author HeySal
            Originally Posted by Justin DSP View Post

            Everyone has a opinion on what they like.

            So lets take the last episode of the Real Housewifes of Atlanta, they got on the topic and guess what, they all shave everything off. And they are well over the age of 10, some of them are even 4 times + the age.

            Then lets take Househusbands of hollywood, the same topic came up and one lady who is over 55 shaves it all.
            Yes, Justin. Yes they do. Unfortunately, some people feel that they are entitled to call people gross, freaks, etc. if they do meet their own standards.

            Some women prefer to shave and some feel more comfortable in their natural state and that doesn't mean they don't stay clean because they choose not to shave.

            It takes a man of very little brains or integrity to think that it is their business whether a woman with whom they will not be sleeping shaves private areas or not. It is no ones business to EVEN KNOW if a woman shaves or not but her own and whoever she chooses to sleep with.

            While American women have varied shaving practices, in some countries women do not customarily use razors - for arms, legs, or anywhere else that an American woman may. I would think they should be owed an apology for being called foul names for such choices.

            It is the man who is filthy and disgusting who would think to mention this subject in mixed company. He is beneath reprisal if he feels that he has rights to know private matters about others that are not relevant to himself. Trash acts guy - trash acts.

            This was a very disgusting turn of this thread and I feel a few of you really owe the women of this forum an apology. Save this type of intrusive slime for a men's club.
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            Sal
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            • Profile picture of the author Kay King
              Well stated, Sal.

              lets take the last episode of the Real Housewifes of Atlanta
              Someone actually watches that show? Must be a guy thing:p
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              Saving one dog will not save the world....but will forever change the world of one dog.
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            • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
              Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

              Save this type of intrusive slime for a men's club.
              It doesn't reaaly belong there either. A Boy's club perhaps, but not Men's.
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      • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
        Originally Posted by Michael Motley View Post

        a female that showers once a week and only uses a razor to shave off her mustache.
        Leave my girlfriend out of this!!!
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        When they turn the pages of history, when these days have passed long ago,
        Will they read of us with sadness, for the seeds that we let grow
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  • Profile picture of the author scarcius121
    That sounds like every job I've ever had.
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Motley
    I like mine with the telly savalas look actually...


    Who loves ya baby...
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    • Profile picture of the author Killer Joe
      Originally Posted by Michael Motley View Post

      I like mine with the telly savalas look actually...

      Who loves ya baby...
      You must be a fan of the show "Pinks - All Out".


      KJ
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Motley
    So you're saying you secretly want to date a wooly mammoth?
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  • Profile picture of the author seasoned
    Originally Posted by Gary McCaffrey View Post

    My job is so f**king terrible. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the idiots I work with:

    First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is dumb as sh*t, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

    The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career oppertunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" bits. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive past B&Q, she moans like a cat in heat.

    But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the f**king stoner. And this guy is more than just your average stoner. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big f**king dog to work. Every f**king day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single f**king day.

    Anyway, I drive these f**ktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and sh*t.
    Sounds to me like you watched one too many episodess of scooby do! Velma isn't ever shown as being THAT bad. Shaggy isn't quite THAT bad either. OH YEAH, you described it like I would expect a stoner teenager to!

    Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author nadzrul
    cool it down dude.
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  • Profile picture of the author topearn
    If you hate your job so much, why don't you go find another job, rather than suffer day in day out.
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Motley
    ITS A JOKE PEOPLE READ THE POST
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