Surviving Toxic Families During the Holidays?

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Ever dread the holidays?

If so, I wrote the following - enjoy!

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Step 1.) Bookmark!

ALWAYS make sure this page is at your fingertips! Click below for your device to learn how to bookmark this page for future referral.

Computer - Press the and D keys together

iPhone -
How to Bookmark Web Sites on Your iPhone - dummies

Android - How to Create a Bookmark on My Android Phone | Chron.com

Once you do the above... you'll always have it waiting for you!

Now, let's begin with:

Step 2.) Introduction

Be you on Facebook? If so, your experiences might be like mine...

I'm seeing lots of folks posting about how not everyone is looking forward to the holidays and how one should support these folks.

Now, I 100% agree.

The next question, though, is HOW you can support these folks.

Move now to:

Step 3.) Some Useful Ideas!

Mull over these suggestions... which one of them appeals to you?

Invite them over during the holidays.

Invite them out during the holidays.

Post inspirational memes on your FB wall about inner strength and personal growth (sometimes a very subtle approach is required, but if you know your friend follows you/reads what you share, it can make a positive impact).

Engage in conversation via chat - tell them you're thinking about them, wish them well, and then (any convo you think they might enjoy).

Those are dandy if you are a social person.... but what if not?

Move now to:

Step 4.) If You're An Introvert, Consider These Ideas

Some people want to help but hate talking with folks.

That's fine - y'all can consider the following instead!

Write a post about how to lift OTHER people's spirits (sometimes doing good for others makes people think, we'll I'm still in a lousy situation but I did brighten the life forothers!). aka, visit a local hopsital, nursing home, shelter, SPCA, etc., write cards, bring goodies for pets, etc.etc.etc.

Go to your local newspaper section and see what activities your town is offering. Create a post about that on your FB wall so local peoples will see it.

But what if YOU are the lonely person and honestly don't give a darn about anyone else because life is so bleak?

That can happen bunches... and when it does, do NOT feel guilty about it. Life ... is..... and sometimes it's what you truly *hate*.

Move now to:

Step 5.) Gift *Yourself*

You really can, you know. Think about:

Write a love letter to the person you want to *become*. ie, express how miserable your life is on paper, and then write how different it would be if XYZ etc.etc.etc.etc. happens.

You'll get out a lot of your anger/frustration/hopes/dreams and such things can often lead to a feeling of temporary peace.

Give yourself permission to *grieve*. Life CAN suck, you know... and it's so important to acknowledge one's own inner pain and sadness. As a matter of fact, have a personal grieving party- order your fav comfort foods, get your fav movies, and plop yourself in front of the TV/computer and indulge in a massive pity party.

Again - you're honoring the very very very REAL pain you might be experiencing (even if others say, jeepers, there's millions of folks worse than you, buck up and stop being a tweeblehead! Decaf coffee to them I say. This is a time for you to take care of YOU).

But what if it's you who lost someone close to yourself?

Consider the following....

Step 5.) Don't Hold It In.

Write them a letter. Express how much you miss them. Honor the good times and if it comforts you, believe they are a guardian angel now for you while you're still on earth.

Reach out to others who have lost the same person... perhaps get together to honor their memory once more.

Remembering the good times..... it's a healing thing to do.

Step 6.) Your Takeaway

So what's your takeaway?

It's always better to be above ground than not, even when you feel utterly miserable (and yep - loss, toxic families, etc. can really smooshilate the holidays for anyone).

You do NOT have to be the victim of feeling icky and not doing anything.

You can take steps to address and honor what hurts you and turn it into something supportive for the future...

... lift the spirits for others...

... kick fate in the right direction.

And give yourself permission to make 2017.... shine.

Step 7.) What You've Just Learned

You just learned the useful ways to spread cheer to people who might be sad during the holidays:

Invitations
Tips for Introverts
Gifting Yourself
Letting The Pain Out

But you're not yet done! Finally, move to:

Step 8.) Your Next Steps

Your next steps are to DO!

Pick one of the ideas above and make it happen.

Need inspirational memes to share?

Consider places like:

https://www.facebook.com/MotivationalMemes/

https://www.pinterest.com/explore/motivational-quotes/

Love Memes. Best Collection of Funny Love Pictures

And need additional help and resources? Benefit from:

USA Suicide Prevention

1800 273 8266 - USA Suicide Prevention Hotline, https://afsp.org/

Great Britian Suicide Hotlines

Hotline: +44 (0) 8457 90 90 90 (UK - local rate)
Hotline: +44 (0) 8457 90 91 92 (UK minicom)
Hotline: 1850 60 90 90 (ROI - local rate)
Hotline: 1850 60 90 91 (ROI minicom)
United Kingdom Suicide Hotlines - Suicide.org! United Kingdom Suicide Hotlines, United Kingdom Suicide Hotlines, United Kingdom Suicide Hotlines, United Kingdom Suicide Hotlines!

International Suicide Hotlines

Index of /hotlines/international

National Coalition against Domestic Violence

What is Domestic Violence?

International Domestic Abuse Resources

National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence

Dealing with Toxic Families During the Holidays

http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/Deali...g-the-Holidays

Holiday Stress: 6 Ways To Deal With Difficult Family Members During The Holidays | The Huffington Post

Tips for Surviving the Holidays w/ Toxic Dysfunctional Parents & FOO

Its okay to be estranged from toxic families

https://www.bustle.com/articles/1124...-toxic-parents

https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/est...members.23440/

LGBTQ Support

The Trevor Project

It Gets Better Project | Give hope to LGBT youth

https://www.cdc.gov/lgbthealth/youth-resources.htm

The coffee is in your cup....

Make it a stellar brew today!

Grow strong,


Barb Ling
  • Profile picture of the author yukon
    Banned
    Spread cheer and suicide hotlines?

    Sounds like a great party.
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  • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
    One thing I definitely do not miss about my younger self is actually caring about any of this crap.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    My suggestion is simpler.

    If you can't get over the "me me me" of the holiday season - or the resentment that you aren't always the center of attention and life is NOT fair....

    Volunteer to help those who have less than you do - who have problems far greater than your own.

    Get OFF Facebook - and Twitter -

    Find a family in your neighborhood or town that is having a hard time - and help them without expecting gratitude.

    Volunteer at a homeless shelter - donate food to needy families - help out at an animal shelter - take a meal to an aging neighbor who has no family for the holidays. Invite foreign students with no family nearby to share the holiday with you. Find something to do where YOU can make a positive difference in someone else's life.

    Get out of your own head - stop looking for others to make YOU 'feel good' - when the pity party starts...remember the faces of the children in Aleppo and the homeless on our own streets....and suck it up. Nothing will pull you out of seasonal depression as making yourSELF feel good because you've done something kind for someone else.

    If you want to have your own pity party and can't stand your "toxic family" (what a negative connotation that is) - you won't be any fun to be around.
    Might as well spend the holidays in your own room so your pouting doesn't ruin everyone else's holiday.
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    Please do not 'release balloons' for celebrations. The balloons and trailing ribbons entangle birds and kill wildlife and livestock that think the balloons are food.
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    • Profile picture of the author BigFrank
      Banned
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      Might as well spend the holidays in your own room so your pouting doesn't ruin everyone else's holiday.
      OK. Sounds good to me.

      Frank
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      • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
        Originally Posted by BigFrank View Post

        OK. Sounds good to me.

        Frank
        You staying in your room? That sounds great to all of us.
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        • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
          Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

          You staying in your room? That sounds great to all of us.
          Unfortunately, that's where his computer is.
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          Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.

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  • Profile picture of the author MatthewNeer
    Any family members that say naughty things about my business dealings receive lumps of coal for xmas!
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