A man and his wife had plans to attend a costume party...

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A man and his wife had plans to attend a costume party. The night of the party, the wife suddenly got a headache and said she couldn't go, but encouraged her husband to attend. He reluctantly put on his mask and headed to the party.



The wife suddenly woke up from a nap feeling much better. She got an idea - she went and bought a different costume than she was planning, along with a mask, and went to the party, to see how get husband acted without her around.



She walked in and was surprised to see her husband downing drink after drink, and dancing wildly with multiple women. At first the wife was upset, but then decided to see how far he would go.



She danced up to him and started grinding on him, and quickly he put his full attention on her. After a few minutes she whispered in his ear that they should go to a bedroom upstairs.




She said "let's keep our masks on" and then they went at it like animals. She did more than she had ever done with him before.


After it was over she hurried home and got into bed. Her husband came home and she asked "how was the party?"


He replied "Eh, I wasn't really having much fun so I left early to play cards with the guys. I lent my costume to Claude, though, and boy did he have a good time."




Joe Mobley
  • Profile picture of the author LindaRogers
    Good Laugh! LOL
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  • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
    Originally Posted by Joe Mobley View Post

    A man and his wife had plans to attend a costume party. The night of the party, the wife suddenly got a headache and said she couldn't go, but encouraged her husband to attend. He reluctantly put on his mask and headed to the party.



    The wife suddenly woke up from a nap feeling much better. She got an idea - she went and bought a different costume than she was planning, along with a mask, and went to the party, to see how get husband acted without her around.



    She walked in and was surprised to see her husband downing drink after drink, and dancing wildly with multiple women. At first the wife was upset, but then decided to see how far he would go.



    She danced up to him and started grinding on him, and quickly he put his full attention on her. After a few minutes she whispered in his ear that they should go to a bedroom upstairs.




    She said "let's keep our masks on" and then they went at it like animals. She did more than she had ever done with him before.


    After it was over she hurried home and got into bed. Her husband came home and she asked "how was the party?"


    He replied "Eh, I wasn't really having much fun so I left early to play cards with the guys. I lent my costume to Claude, though, and boy did he have a good time."




    Joe Mobley
    Hey! My name is Claude too! Joe used my name in a story. Now I'm somebody!

    But it must be another guy named Claude, because I don't remember the party.

    Unless Joe just made up the story as a joke. But that can't be true, because that would make me sound like an idiot.
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    • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
      Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

      Unless Joe just made up the story as a joke. But that can't be true, because that would make me sound like an idiot.
      False. What makes you sound like an idiot is your mouth.
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      • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
        Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

        False. What makes you sound like an idiot is your mouth.
        No, you're a puppet! And you are Fake News. Sad.


        Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

        Of course he did. Claude would never be invited to a party.
        Yes I would! I've been invited to most of my own birthday parties. So there!
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    • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
      Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

      Unless Joe just made up the story as a joke.
      Of course he did. Claude would never be invited to a party.
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      So that blind people can hate them as well.
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      • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
        Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

        Claude would never be invited to a party.
        There was no party. Claude's wife needed him to put on the mask.


        She'd superglued the inside.
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        • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
          Originally Posted by Frank Donovan View Post

          There was no party. Claude's wife needed him to put on the mask.


          She'd superglued the inside.

          You have slowly...inexorably...turned from a shining beacon of reason and integrity.....

          into a Riffle.

          I have just cancelled my membership to the Frank Donovan Fan Club.

          I'm keeping the poster, and the magazines...but the membership is gone!

          Sad.


          Covfefe.
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          • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
            Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

            You have slowly...inexorably...turned from a shining beacon of reason and integrity.....

            into a Riffle.

            I have just cancelled my membership to the Frank Donovan Fan Club.

            I'm keeping the poster, and the magazines...but the membership is gone!

            Sad.


            Covfefe.
            If it were you, the references to the amazingly different stuff done in bed would mean a different set of board games had recently been purchased.
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            • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
              Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

              If it were you, the references to the amazingly different stuff done in bed would mean a different set of board games had recently been purchased.
              You have no idea how accurate that statement is.
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              "Those who know that they are profound strive for clarity. Those who would like to seem profound to the crowd strive for obscurity" Friedrich Nietzsche
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              • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
                Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                You have no idea how accurate that statement is.
                Of course these are The Adult Versions, Like:

                Mr Potato Giving Head
                Backside Gammon
                Legover
                Troilism Pursuit
                Frustration
                Trouser Snakes and Laddered Tights
                Lewedo
                Tiddly Wanks
                I Thigh

                Etc..
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                • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
                  Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

                  Of course these are The Adult Versions, Like:

                  Mr Potato Giving Head
                  Backside Gammon
                  Legover
                  Troilism Pursuit
                  Frustration
                  Trouser Snakes and Laddered Tights
                  Lewedo
                  Tiddly Wanks
                  I Thigh

                  Etc..
                  And the old adult versions of games like;
                  Where did I leave the keys?
                  Who locked the cat in the closet?
                  Twister (which is simply getting out of bed.)
                  Where did I park the car at the theater?
                  Where did I park the car at the grocery store?
                  Where did I park the car at the airport?
                  Which car is mine?
                  Didn't I already pay this bill?
                  What's on HBO tonight?
                  What discount can I get because I'm old?
                  What's that smell?
                  How do you work this damn remote?
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                  "Those who know that they are profound strive for clarity. Those who would like to seem profound to the crowd strive for obscurity" Friedrich Nietzsche
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              • Profile picture of the author Kurt
                Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                You have no idea how accurate that statement is.
                Let's keep it that way.
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          • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
            Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

            I have just cancelled my membership to the Frank Donovan Fan Club.
            At last. Now I can return all your begging letters.
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          • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
            Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

            I have just cancelled my membership to the Frank Donovan Fan Club.
            BREAKING NEWS: Memberships in the Frank Donovan Fan Club have just soared now it has rid itself of a deplorable member.
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            Why do garden gnomes smell so bad?
            So that blind people can hate them as well.
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            • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
              Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

              BREAKING NEWS: Memberships in the Frank Donovan Fan Club have just soared now it has rid itself of a deplorable member.
              Dearest Frank, Kurt, and Whatty;

              This is a Witch Hunt. SAD.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kurt
    Somewhere a woman in a Halloween costume is on suicide watch...
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  • Profile picture of the author yukon
    Banned
    This is why Claude isn't allowed in Panera Bread.
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by yukon View Post

      This is why Claude isn't allowed in Panera Bread.
      That's Fake News! There are plenty of stores I'm not allowed to enter.

      I was once banned for three months...from my own store.
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      "Those who know that they are profound strive for clarity. Those who would like to seem profound to the crowd strive for obscurity" Friedrich Nietzsche
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      • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        That's Fake News! There are plenty of stores I'm not allowed to enter.

        I was once banned for three months...from my own store.
        Charge: inappropriate use of a suction hose with thimble attachment.
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        If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay for another five minutes.

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        • Profile picture of the author yukon
          Banned
          The back of Claude's laminated Golden Corral discount card reads DO NOT RESUSCITATE under federal law.
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  • Profile picture of the author Ken Leatherman
    LMAO and still LMAO !
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