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Would You Work For This Remuneration

by OptedIn
54 replies
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OK. So I am going to offer you a job. You are in your 20's and you are going to work for me for the rest of your life, figuring you are going to live until the age of 70.

I am going to compensate you as follow:

I am going to pay you 1¢ on your first day.

I am going to double your pay every day for 31 days.

After 31 days, I am never going to pay you another cent.

Would you take that job???
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  • Profile picture of the author perryny
    After putting $21.5 million into my bank account, how do you plan on keeping me around for another 50 years?








    Happy belated birthday, Claude.
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    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      Originally Posted by perryny View Post

      After putting $21.5 million into my bank account, how do you plan on keeping me around for another 50 years?.
      Free Danish and coffee?
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  • Profile picture of the author JasonTheFreeman
    This one is easy. The answer is no even if it is a huge sum of money the feeling of working for someone else can grow on me for only so long. At some point in my life, I want to earn my money by not depending on an employer. After receiving the last amount. How will I be incentivized to work for you? Unless I really like that job I'm afraid I can't stay for long.
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    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      Originally Posted by JasonTheFreeman View Post

      This one is easy. The answer is no even if it is a huge sum of money the feeling of working for someone else can grow on me for only so long. At some point in my life, I want to earn my money by not depending on an employer. After receiving the last amount. How will I be incentivized to work for you? Unless I really like that job I'm afraid I can't stay for long.
      Calling BS on this one. lol

      You're welcome
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  • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
    Sure, but you're not getting much effort out of me after day 31. In fact, you'll probably end up firing me.
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    • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
      Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

      Sure, but you're not getting much effort out of me after day 31. In fact, you'll probably end up firing me.
      True, looking out at a mosquito infested lake every day, in the middle of nowhere, with daily tales of how wonderful Apple products are, garbaging Microsoft, (which deserves it, but still) and only having Danish pastries, and green salads to choose from for lunch is more than most could bear.

      Not even a joyride in his Purple BMW would be enough.

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      • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
        Originally Posted by tagiscom View Post

        True, looking out at a mosquito infested lake every day, in the middle of nowhere,
        The locals have a term that: 'paradise!'
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      • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
        Originally Posted by tagiscom View Post

        True, looking out at a mosquito infested lake every day
        This coming from a guy who lives on a mosquito infested island. With drop bears.
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        • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
          Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

          This coming from a guy who lives on a mosquito infested island. With drop bears.
          You can't make this shit up!
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    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

      Sure, but you're not getting much effort out of me after day 31. In fact, you'll probably end up firing me.
      What makes you think I would have ever hired you in the first place?

      If I had, I would have paid you 0¢ on the first day and doubled it, forever.
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

      Sure, but you're not getting much effort out of me after day 31. In fact, you'll probably end up firing me.
      I'd fire you on day ten. And you could take your $4 and go.

      But for me...a glorious ten days. After which I would have you arrested for sexual impropriety....and giving me herpes.
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      • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        I'd fire you on day ten. And you could take your $4 and go.

        But for me...a glorious ten days. After which I would have you arrested for sexual impropriety....and giving me herpes.
        "But for me...a glorious ten days. After which I would have you arrested for sexual impropriety....and giving me hairpiece'

        Very generous
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      • Profile picture of the author hardraysnight
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        I'd fire you on day ten. And you could take your $4 and go.

        But for me...a glorious ten days. After which I would have you arrested for sexual impropriety....and giving me herpes.
        you heartless soul

        robbing me of my 9.6 cents ad firing me as well
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  • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
    Originally Posted by OptedIn View Post

    The locals have a term that: 'paradise!'
    True, my apologies, "mosquito infested paradise lake"!

    Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

    I'd fire you on day ten. And you could take your $4 and go.

    But for me...a glorious ten days. After which I would have you arrested for sexual impropriety....and giving me herpes.
    Giving,.....nonsense, the lab alway needs fresh samples!

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  • Profile picture of the author Kurt
    Originally Posted by OptedIn View Post

    OK. So I am going to offer you a job. You are in your 20's and you are going to work for me for the rest of your life, figuring you are going to live until the age of 70.

    I am going to compensate you as follow:

    I am going to pay you 1¢ on your first day.

    I am going to double your pay every day for 31 days.

    After 31 days, I am never going to pay you another cent.

    Would you take that job???
    Sure, if I could see the money upfront. My lifetime doesn't concern me because the over/under for your life expectancy is 6 months.
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    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

      the over/under for your life expectancy is 6 months.
      I've been hearing that for 35 years and have lived long enough to piss on the graves of those who said so, including not one, but two cardiologists.

      Only the good die young. I have decades ahead of me.

      Thank you.
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      • Profile picture of the author Kurt
        Originally Posted by OptedIn View Post

        I've been hearing that for 35 years and have lived long enough to piss on the graves of those who said so, including not one, but two cardiologists.

        Only the good die young. I have decades ahead of me.

        Thank you.
        tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick....
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        • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
          Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

          tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick....

          Kurt; From one overbearing pompous know it all to another....

          It would have been funnier if you would have posted..


          tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick ti....

          Professional courtesy.
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        • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
          Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

          tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick....
          Please instruct your next of kin to provide me with Google map directions to your gravesite. I'll 'whiz' on by at my earliest convenience.

          You're welcome!
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          • Profile picture of the author Kurt
            Originally Posted by OptedIn View Post

            Please instruct your next of kin to provide me with Google map directions to your gravesite. I'll 'whiz' on by at my earliest convenience.

            You're welcome!
            If you were a Russian hooker, Claude would pay you to "whiz" on him...
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            • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
              Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

              If you were a Russian hooker, Claude would pay you to "whiz" on him...
              He never once mentioned that hooker status was a prerequisite.
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            • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
              Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

              If you were a Russian hooker, Claude would pay you to "whiz" on him...

              This is not a joke. When I was a kid, my dad was called Whiz by all his friends. I heard it all the time. But I never asked what it meant. One day I said to a friend (maybe we were 8 years old)...that my dad was called whiz. He thought I said Wiz...and said it meant piss.

              I remember crying the whole day, thinking everyone was making fun of my dad. When he asked me what was wrong, I told him...and he laughed out loud...

              And he then explained the difference. He got the nickname Whiz because he was an electrical engineer at Ford Motor company, and he was great at figuring out the solution to electrical problems.

              Plus, his name was also Claude, and like me, a nickname helped.


              His middle name was Melvin, which I thought of as a family curse. I've waited a few years to say that.
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              • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
                Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                This is not a joke. When I was a kid, my dad was called Whiz by all his friends. I heard it all the time. But I never asked what it meant. One day I said to a friend (maybe we were 8 years old)...that my dad was called whiz. He thought I said Wiz...and said it meant piss.

                I remember crying the whole day, thinking everyone was making fun of my dad. When he asked me what was wrong, I told him...and he laughed out loud...

                And he then explained the difference. He got the nickname Whiz because he was an electrical engineer at Ford Motor company, and he was great at figuring out the solution to electrical problems.

                Plus, his name was also Claude, and like me, a nickname helped.


                His middle name was Melvin, which I thought of as a family curse. I've waited a few years to say that.
                "Plus, his name was also Claude, and like me, a nickname helped.'

                I'm so sorry, I did not know. From now on I will address you as Claude Jr
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              • Profile picture of the author Kurt
                Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                This is not a joke. When I was a kid, my dad was called Whiz by all his friends. I heard it all the time. But I never asked what it meant. One day I said to a friend (maybe we were 8 years old)...that my dad was called whiz. He thought I said Wiz...and said it meant piss.

                I remember crying the whole day, thinking everyone was making fun of my dad. When he asked me what was wrong, I told him...and he laughed out loud...

                And he then explained the difference. He got the nickname Whiz because he was an electrical engineer at Ford Motor company, and he was great at figuring out the solution to electrical problems.

                Plus, his name was also Claude, and like me, a nickname helped.


                His middle name was Melvin, which I thought of as a family curse. I've waited a few years to say that.
                This reminds me of the episode of Seinfeld where George hints that he wants "t bone" to be his nickname so he orders a t bone for lunch.

                I get it, you want a nickname...so using George's logic, from here on you'll be Claude "Snacks" Whitacre.
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                • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
                  Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

                  This reminds me of the episode of Seinfeld where George hints that he wants "t bone" to be his nickname so he orders a t bone for lunch.

                  I get it, you want a nickname...so using George's logic, from here on you'll be Claude "Snacks" Whitacre.
                  Jr has to supplement with a lot of snacks because his "lunchbox" is so small.
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                • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
                  Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

                  This reminds me of the episode of Seinfeld where George hints that he wants "t bone" to be his nickname so he orders a t bone for lunch.

                  I get it, you want a nickname...so using George's logic, from here on you'll be Claude "Snacks" Whitacre.
                  Dear mortal enemy....

                  First of all, that was funny.
                  Second of all. when I was a kid, lot's of people called me Doc. it was only because my great uncle was the town's only doctor in the 1950s or so, and I was a science geek.

                  None of the kids at school knew my first name as Claude. I usually went by my middle name Steven.

                  But the biggest secret when I was a kid...was that I was fat...in fact, morbidly obese.
                  I kept it hidden from everyone. Nobody at school knew I was fat. I even kept it from my parents.

                  There were times I just wanted to admit that I was fat...but i knew if anyone suspected that I was fat, they would ridicule me.

                  And one day I couldn't take it anymore...I sat at the dining room table and...through tears in my eyes...told my Mom "Mom, I'm fat. I've been fat for years".

                  And she said "Son, I've always suspected that you might be fat. Whatever you do, don't tell your father...because he hates fat people. But I will always love you."

                  True story.
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                  • Profile picture of the author Kurt
                    Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                    Dear mortal enemy....

                    First of all, that was funny.
                    Second of all. when I was a kid, lot's of people called me Doc. it was only because my great uncle was the town's only doctor in the 1950s or so, and I was a science geek.

                    None of the kids at school knew my first name as Claude. I usually went by my middle name Steven.

                    But the biggest secret when I was a kid...was that I was fat...in fact, morbidly obese.
                    I kept it hidden from everyone. Nobody at school knew I was fat. I even kept it from my parents.

                    There were times I just wanted to admit that I was fat...but i knew if anyone suspected that I was fat, they would ridicule me.

                    And one day I couldn't take it anymore...I sat at the dining room table and...through tears in my eyes...told my Mom "Mom, I'm fat. I've been fat for years".

                    And she said "Son, I've always suspected that you might be fat. Whatever you do, don't tell your father...because he hates fat people. But I will always love you."

                    True story.
                    This post is more proof Snacks was the first crack baby left behind...
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                    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
                      Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

                      This post is more proof Snacks was the first cracker baby left behind...

                      Now I want a cracker.
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                      • Profile picture of the author Kurt
                        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                        Now I want a cracker.
                        No need to bring race into this, you creep.
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                        • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
                          Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

                          This reminds me of the episode of Seinfeld where George hints that he wants "t bone" to be his nickname so he orders a t bone for lunch.

                          I get it, you want a nickname...so using George's logic, from here on you'll be Claude "Snacks" Whitacre.
                          Funny, l get, "Claude, Jelly on a Plate Whitacre".

                          Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                          Dear mortal enemy....

                          First of all, that was funny.
                          Second of all. when I was a kid, lot's of people called me Doc. it was only because my great uncle was the town's only doctor in the 1950s or so, and I was a science geek.

                          None of the kids at school knew my first name as Claude. I usually went by my middle name Steven.

                          But the biggest secret when I was a kid...was that I was fat...in fact, morbidly obese.
                          I kept it hidden from everyone. Nobody at school knew I was fat. I even kept it from my parents.

                          There were times I just wanted to admit that I was fat...but i knew if anyone suspected that I was fat, they would ridicule me.

                          And one day I couldn't take it anymore...I sat at the dining room table and...through tears in my eyes...told my Mom "Mom, I'm fat. I've been fat for years".

                          And she said "Son, I've always suspected that you might be Pregnant. Whatever you do, don't tell your father...because he hates Pregnant people. But I will always love you, (and your baby, whatever)."

                          True story.
                          Corrected for a cheap laugh!

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                  • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
                    Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                    Dear mortal enemy....

                    First of all, that was funny.
                    Second of all. when I was a kid, lot's of people called me Doc. it was only because my great uncle was the town's only doctor in the 1950s or so, and I was a science geek.

                    None of the kids at school knew my first name as Claude. I usually went by my middle name Steven.

                    But the biggest secret when I was a kid...was that I was fat...in fact, morbidly obese.
                    I kept it hidden from everyone. Nobody at school knew I was fat. I even kept it from my parents.

                    There were times I just wanted to admit that I was fat...but i knew if anyone suspected that I was fat, they would ridicule me.

                    And one day I couldn't take it anymore...I sat at the dining room table and...through tears in my eyes...told my Mom "Mom, I'm fat. I've been fat for years".

                    And she said "Son, I've always suspected that you might be fat. Whatever you do, don't tell your father...because he hates fat people. But I will always love you."

                    True story.
                    And you still wear that constricting Girdle to this day, but for totally different reasons.
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                  • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
                    Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                    Dear mortal enemy....

                    First of all, that was funny.
                    Second of all. when I was a kid, lot's of people called me Doc. it was only because my great uncle was the town's only doctor in the 1950s or so, and I was a science geek.

                    None of the kids at school knew my first name as Claude. I usually went by my middle name Steven.

                    But the biggest secret when I was a kid...was that I was fat...in fact, morbidly obese.
                    I kept it hidden from everyone. Nobody at school knew I was fat. I even kept it from my parents.

                    There were times I just wanted to admit that I was fat...but i knew if anyone suspected that I was fat, they would ridicule me.

                    And one day I couldn't take it anymore...I sat at the dining room table and...through tears in my eyes...told my Mom "Mom, I'm fat. I've been fat for years".

                    And she said "Son, I've always suspected that you might be fat. Whatever you do, don't tell your father...because he hates fat people. But I will always love you."

                    True story.
                    This would be a sad story if I cared.
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                    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
                      Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

                      This would be a sad story if I cared.
                      i was waiting for your "I was a closeted garden gnome" story.

                      How you kept it a secret from everyone that you were an 18 inch tall garden gnome. And you finally confessed to your parents that you were only a foot and a half tall. And they told you that they always suspected that you may only be a foot and a half tall...but were afraid to bring it up.

                      Did your school mates ever suspect that you were only 18 inches tall? The elevator shoes didn't help.
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                      • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
                        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                        i was waiting for your "I was a closeted garden gnome" story.

                        How you kept it a secret from everyone that you were an 18 inch tall garden gnome. And you finally confessed to your parents that you were only a foot and a half tall. And they told you that they always suspected that you may only be a foot and a half tall...but were afraid to bring it up.

                        Did your school mates ever suspect that you were only 18 inches tall? The elevator shoes didn't help.
                        He never mixed with other kids, he was Hnome Schooled
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      • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
        Originally Posted by OptedIn View Post

        I've been hearing that for 35 years and have lived long enough to piss on the graves of those who said so, including not one, but two cardiologists.

        Only the good die young. I have decades ahead of me.

        Thank you.
        You've gotta stop finding cardiologists at the hospice center.
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        • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
          Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

          You've gotta stop finding cardiologists at the hospice center.
          Deborah Heart and Lung Hospital's best and brightest. I only go first-class.
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      • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
        Originally Posted by OptedIn View Post


        Only the straight die young. I have decades ahead of me.

        Thank you.
        You're welcome.
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        • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
          Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

          You're welcome.
          You're fat.
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          • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
            Originally Posted by OptedIn View Post

            You're fat.
            Christ! That was perfect.

            And it's not fat, it's muscle. Soft...blubbery.......sweaty... muscle....that I cannot flex.
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            • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
              Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

              Christ! That was perfect.

              And it's not fat, it's muscle. Soft...blubbery.......sweaty... muscle....that I cannot flex.
              The only muscle you have resides between your Dumbo-like ears!
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              • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
                Originally Posted by OptedIn View Post

                The only muscle you have resides between your Dumbo-like ears!
                He has another small area with muscle, but he cant flex that either.
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      • Profile picture of the author Kurt
        Originally Posted by OptedIn View Post

        I've been hearing that for 35 years and have lived long enough to piss on the graves of those who said so, including not one, but two cardiologists.

        Only the good die young. I have decades ahead of me.

        Thank you.
        Whizzer, I've also outlived your two cardiologists...


        ...and you're not young.
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        • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
          Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

          ...and you're not young.
          I feel young - - - - - and I'm pretty, too! Those last two stents worked wonders. :-)
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    Yes, I WOULD work for you for that pay....but, fair warning, I would give new meaning to 'early retirement'.
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    Saving one dog will not change the world - but the world changes forever for that one dog
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    Dear April: I don't want any trouble from you.
    January was long, February was iffy, March was a freaking dumpster fire.
    So sit down, be quiet, and don't touch anything.
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    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      Yes, I WOULD work for you for that pay....but, fair warning, I would give new meaning to 'early retirement'.
      I'm pretty sure that ship has sailed. :-)
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      "He not busy being born, is busy dying." - Bob Dylan • "I vibe with the light-dark point. Heavy." - Words that Bob Dylan wishes he had written.

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  • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
    Everyone's fallen into a well-laid trap. Not one question so far about what this hypothetical "job" entails, thus confirming the OP's suspicion that the regulars on this forum will do anything for money.

    Now that the principle has been established, it becomes merely a matter of negotiation.
    Signature


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    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      Originally Posted by Frank Donovan View Post

      Everyone's fallen into a well-laid trap. Not one question so far about what this hypothetical "job" entails, thus confirming the OP's suspicion that the regulars of this forum will do anything for money.

      Now that the principle has been established, it becomes merely a matter of negotiation.
      No one gets that. You need to spell it out.

      Man: Would you sleep with me for a million dollars?
      Woman: Yes, I would.

      Man: Would you sleep with me for $100,000?
      Woman: Certainly

      Man: Would you sleep with me for 50 bucks?
      Woman: Of course, not! What do you think I am?
      Man. We've already established what you are, now were just haggling over the price.
      Signature

      "He not busy being born, is busy dying." - Bob Dylan • "I vibe with the light-dark point. Heavy." - Words that Bob Dylan wishes he had written.

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  • Profile picture of the author copywriterpros
    Haha funny thing to read, you make my day

    P.S. what makes you think at all about this subject?
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    I'm pretty sure that ship has sailed. :-)
    Yeah, but....I could have a whole new career if it moved that fast.
    Signature
    Saving one dog will not change the world - but the world changes forever for that one dog
    ***
    Dear April: I don't want any trouble from you.
    January was long, February was iffy, March was a freaking dumpster fire.
    So sit down, be quiet, and don't touch anything.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11288884].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
    Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

    This coming from a guy who lives on a mosquito infested island. With drop bears.
    So l aught to know!

    Signature
    Archimedes Forum, Sign up l won't bite
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    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      Originally Posted by tagiscom View Post

      So l aught to know!
      You ought to know many, many things. The jury is still out. :-)
      Signature

      "He not busy being born, is busy dying." - Bob Dylan • "I vibe with the light-dark point. Heavy." - Words that Bob Dylan wishes he had written.

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  • Profile picture of the author Kurt
    Anyone else wish they were a chimp and Claude was Grandma?


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    Discover the fastest and easiest ways to create your own valuable products.
    Tons of FREE Public Domain content you can use to make your own content, PLR, digital and POD products.
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