Discussion on Effective Methods to Get An Ex Back?

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Hey Guys, I thought I'd start a discussion because I've always been quite curious on this topic and wanted to know what the community thinks are some of the more effective methods in getting an ex back? Would like to clarify that I'm not in that particular situation, but just have a strong interest in how relationships work, hence the discussion. You could either be someone who did something that worked before, or even propose hypothetical solutions.

Let's take 3 scenarios to discuss (feel free to add any other situations and their proposed solutions):

1) The breakup was mutual, and not on ugly terms but you realized later on that you want them back
2) The breakup was 1-sided, they broke up with you for a particular reason (loss of feelings, you're not doing enough for the relationship, etc)
3) The breakup was 1-sided, you initiated the breakup but decided to change your mind subsequently; to which they turned you down the initial time you tried to get back together.

Under these circumstances, would it be best to leave them alone for now to give both parties space, chase them and hopefully convince them to be part of your life again, etc?
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  • Profile picture of the author hardraysnight
    buy a velvet whip and present it to her
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    This is not a dating site ...and I will never understand why someone WANTS an 'ex' back.

    leave them alone for now to give both parties space, chase them and hopefully convince them to be part of your life again,
    That is too 'needy' - just move on....find another future 'ex'....
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    • Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      This is not a dating site ...and I will never understand why someone WANTS an 'ex' back.



      That is too 'needy' - just move on....find another future 'ex'....
      I agree.

      I never understood why someone would leave someone else...and then want to go back.

      If you love someone...and then stop loving them.....or they stop loving you....why do you think you can rekindle the fire?

      In the history of the world, has anyone ever stopped loving someone...and then started loving them again? Or is it that they just settle...they fall back to the familiar?
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      • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        I agree.

        I never understood why someone would leave someone else...and then want to go back.

        If you love someone...and then stop loving them.....or they stop loving you....why do you think you can rekindle the fire?

        In the history of the world, has anyone ever stopped loving someone...and then started loving them again? Or is it that they just settle...they fall back to the familiar?
        I fail to see how anyone who was once married to a Camel would have anything useful to say about this.

        And changing your signature to make it look like Kay King thanked your post ain't going to fool anyone.
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    • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      This is not a dating site ...and I will never understand why someone WANTS an 'ex' back.
      (Lol) Sometimes the Person is really in "love" with them.
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      "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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    • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
      [QUOTE=Kay King;11332278]This is not a dating site ...and I will never understand why someone WANTS an 'ex' back.

      I had an X tattoo'd on my back once, a foolish whim of my youth. Having it inked in and removed years later was extremely painful. I never want my X back.

      There I said it
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    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      This is not a dating site ...and I will never understand why someone WANTS an 'ex' back.

      That is too 'needy' - just move on....find another future 'ex'....
      No truer words have ever been spoken. Why would I ever want to bless someone with my majestic presence twice, if they didn't appreciate the grand gesture, the first time?

      Ridiculous!
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      "He not busy being born, is busy dying." - Bob Dylan • "I vibe with the light-dark point. Heavy." - Words that Bob Dylan wishes he had written.

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      • Originally Posted by OptedIn View Post

        No truer words have ever been spoken. Why would I ever want to bless someone with my majestic presence twice, if they didn't appreciate the grand gesture, the first time?

        Ridiculous!

        I noticed that you signed off your post as Ridiculous.

        Did you give that a lot of thought?
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        • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
          Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

          I noticed that you signed off your post as Ridiculous.

          Did you give that a lot of thought?
          No. You popped into my mind, instantly.
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          "He not busy being born, is busy dying." - Bob Dylan • "I vibe with the light-dark point. Heavy." - Words that Bob Dylan wishes he had written.

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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    Yep - that's the 'needy' I was talking about. When you want 'out' of a relationship - that sweet sentiment of "but I love you" can get creepy,
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    • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      Yep - that's the 'needy' I was talking about. When you want 'out' of a relationship - that sweet sentiment of "but I love you" can get creepy.
      (Haha) ... That's not really what I meant. I would love to help a Guy (or Girl) be with the Person they love. Like you said though ... Some of them could be kind of "needy."
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      "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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    • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      that sweet sentiment of "but I love you" can get creepy,
      Agreed. Although it's a "Sales Page" there's some good advice here:

      StopYourDivorce.com
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      "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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    • Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      Yep - that's the 'needy' I was talking about. When you want 'out' of a relationship - that sweet sentiment of "but I love you" can get creepy,

      Loving someone isn't a reason that they are obligated to stay with you.

      "I know you don't love me, but I'm so needy...I don't care about what makes you happy. I only care about what makes me happy. And I'm happier when you are with me...no matter how it affects you personally."


      Humans.
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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    at least my relationships used to end it a pile of smoldering ashes ..why try to get the ex back.. i fnd it easy to just keep meeting the same woman.. over and over ..well use to ..

    that stopped when i changed radically ..

    To actually get the ex back you have to start dateing woman who are more attractive than she was and better personalities ..take them out be honest you not expecting anything that you are stuck on your ex and just looking to have a good time with someone ..

    hypothetically anyway.. but i am 40 and when they gone they gone .. no reason to get stuck ..my search is for one that can put up with me for a length of time ..they fail to handel my swings ..in mood.. or intentional go out of the way to annoy me .. it's time to settle thing and walk away..

    but in my case in my life the sparks flying at the start of a relashionship is usually just a fuez being lit .. so
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    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      Originally Posted by Odahh View Post

      but in my case in my life the sparks flying at the start of a relashionship is usually just a fuez being lit ..
      usually resulting in self-immolation.
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      "He not busy being born, is busy dying." - Bob Dylan • "I vibe with the light-dark point. Heavy." - Words that Bob Dylan wishes he had written.

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      • Profile picture of the author Odahh
        Originally Posted by OptedIn View Post

        usually resulting in self-immolation.
        no Usually i drip the candle wax in the wrong spots ..
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  • Originally Posted by Plutorial View Post

    Hey Guys, I thought I'd start a discussion because I've always been quite curious on this topic and wanted to know what the community thinks are some of the more effective methods in getting an ex back? Would like to clarify that I'm not in that particular situation, but just have a strong interest in how relationships work, hence the discussion. You could either be someone who did something that worked before, or even propose hypothetical solutions.

    Let's take 3 scenarios to discuss (feel free to add any other situations and their proposed solutions):

    1) The breakup was mutual, and not on ugly terms but you realized later on that you want them back
    2) The breakup was 1-sided, they broke up with you for a particular reason (loss of feelings, you're not doing enough for the relationship, etc)
    3) The breakup was 1-sided, you initiated the breakup but decided to change your mind subsequently; to which they turned you down the initial time you tried to get back together.

    Under these circumstances, would it be best to leave them alone for now to give both parties space, chase them and hopefully convince them to be part of your life again, etc?
    All you wanted was enough information for a new E-book and you got the gang of the OT who can't email straight

    Jason
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  • Profile picture of the author yukon
    Banned
    How exactly is the restraining order worded?
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    Hi
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  • Profile picture of the author DWolfe
    Never give someone the chance to waste your time twice!
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