I am going to restrict my 15 year old daughter's phone usage to once a week.

40 replies
  • OFF TOPIC
  • |
I am going to restrict my 15 year old daughter's phone usage to once a week. What is the most effective way to convince her that she doesn't need to use the phone?
Avatar of Unregistered
  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    Can't get much more off topic than that...

    Depends on why you are limiting phone time. If she's abusing the privilege - 'becaue I said so' or 'actions have consequences' is useful (if you say it and mean it). You won't 'convince her' she doens't need a phone stuck to her ear 12 hrs day - but I don't understand why parents permit that to happen.

    If you have allowed unlimited phone time until age 15 - changing that to once a week seems draconian. Why not limit phone time to one hour a day at a time you can supervise?

    Don't start a battle you can't win - don't expect her to be reasonable if you aren't being the same.
    Signature
    Every child needs a pet because every family needs an optimist

    Saving one dog will not save the world....but will forever change the world for one dog.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484197].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Jeffery
    When my son started to spend too much time on his phone and too mush time playing games on the PC I told him he had to start paying for the phone and the games. It worked in many good ways. He got a job and learned the value of spending more time on his education.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484227].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    Originally Posted by penny q View Post

    I am going to restrict my 15 year old daughter's phone usage to once a week. What is the most effective way to convince her that she doesn't need to use the phone?

    what horrible thing has she done to deserve this punishment ..bad grades .. bullying at school , drugg use.. is she using it to hook up with boys .. or do bad things .. fighting..


    when i was 15 .. before the internet ..and computers.. there was the hanging out drinking doing drugs and other bad stuff.. i was outcast though so just hung out with my friends and played n64.. could have easily got in to drinking and drugs though to it was the early 90's


    and go older than that before video games and hiv/aid.. it was teenage listening to rock music getting high and drunk and sex ..

    is using the cellphone to much the worse thing your daughter can be doing..
    Signature

    "I just wanted a good job ,but i could not find a good job, So i do it myself"-Jack Ma

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484255].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
    Originally Posted by penny q View Post

    I am going to restrict my 15 year old daughter's phone usage to once a week. What is the most effective way to convince her that she doesn't need to use the phone?
    You're not going to convince any average 15-year-old that they don't need to use their phone. They'll just think you're potty. For kids today, it's an essential social tool.

    As a parent, you can lay down rules for phone usage, such as only at certain times of the day, and maybe restrict access to websites or apps you don't approve of. Whether she sticks to those rules will depend to an extent on the nature and history of your relationship. But as we don't know you or your daughter and without any context behind your question, I tend to agree with Odahh on this.

    .
    Signature
    TOP TIP: To browse the forum like a Pro, select "View Classic" from the drop-down menu under your user name.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484264].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Jeffery
    15 year olds are very sensitive to social media and gullible. We read stories all the time about young teens being bullied by so called peers and lured into all sorts of nasty things by online predators.


    Personally, from experience with my son, I knew he spent most of his phone time with girls and game friends. Typical teenage boy.


    Young girls? No experience there, so I asked a female counselor about it at lunch today. She commented young girls are more susceptible to online predators after their phone privileges have been limited or terminated. She also commented that the teens that overuse the privilege are already involved with the dark side. Her final advise was to first find out why the teen was over using the privilege before limiting usage as it may do more harm than good.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484267].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
    At 15 l was drooling over the N64, (couldn't afford it for years on end and could only play Supermario at stores) and was seriously into LCD hand helds.

    And mobile phones were a bulky thing that needed a briefcase.

    But l did hang out in the computer room at lunchtime, as it cut down on bullying, etc.

    TRS-80's sigh.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484318].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      Originally Posted by tagiscom View Post

      At 15 l was drooling over the N64,:
      And now you just drool for no apparent reason. Messy!
      Signature

      "He not busy being born, is busy dying." - Bob Dylan • "I vibe with the light-dark point. Heavy." - Words that Bob Dylan wishes he had written.

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484513].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Odahh
        Originally Posted by OptedIn View Post

        And now you just drool for no apparent reason. Messy!
        i think dementia is setting in early for Shane.. thought he was in his mid 50's.. being 15 when the n64 came out would make him barley 40 ..
        Signature

        "I just wanted a good job ,but i could not find a good job, So i do it myself"-Jack Ma

        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484517].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Daniel Evans
      Originally Posted by tagiscom View Post

      At 15 l was drooling over the N64, (couldn't afford it for years on end and could only play Supermario at stores) and was seriously into LCD hand helds.

      And mobile phones were a bulky thing that needed a briefcase.

      But l did hang out in the computer room at lunchtime, as it cut down on bullying, etc.

      TRS-80's sigh.


      I had Oil Panic when I was 8 year old.


      I was recently going to buy Donkey Kong as an investment. They are going for around £80.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484627].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author savidge4
    Originally Posted by penny q View Post

    I am going to restrict my 15 year old daughter's phone usage to once a week. What is the most effective way to convince her that she doesn't need to use the phone?
    REALLY? and you want her to do what? When you were 15 you hung out with your friends every day no? what do you think she is doing on the phone? Remove the phone, and you will CRUSH her social world.

    I suggest that if you take her phone maybe you should only be allowed to drive once a week. Walking was good enough for your grandfather.. it will be just fine for you.
    Signature
    Success is an ACT not an idea
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484338].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author hardraysnight
    Originally Posted by penny q View Post

    I am going to restrict my 15 year old daughter's phone usage to once a week. What is the most effective way to convince her that she doesn't need to use the phone?
    lead by example, you show her you only need to use a phone once every two weeks
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484487].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author hardraysnight
    trade all phones in on a guitar
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484489].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author silvia brook
    Look, your view of your daughter not having/ using a cell, but once a week, is simply outdated unless she is maybe 4, but damn she is 15!!! only needing to use the phone in general once a week is not only ridiculous but it is plain out of touch. Teens are harsh, I can see some of the criticism and names she might be called for not having one like 90% of the other teens
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484493].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author savidge4
    Here is something to think about... instead of being against the phone, maybe encourage more phone use. Teach her how to make meme's. Teach her about creating content. Teach her about personal brand. Teach her to stay away from topics like religion or race or whatever. Teach her she HAS A VOICE in this digital age. Teach her how to use it! Show her she has VALUE!

    My 10 year old son.. I ENCOURAGE to play video games. My 10 year old son creates VIDEOS. my 10 year old son has FAR greater reach socially than I will ever imagine ( personally - not in terms of a business account ) My 10 year old son is CREATING a personal brand that will take him far in his future life.

    AND again he is only 10... to be legit.. you have to be 13 to have a Gmail account. you have to be 13 to have a youtube channel. you have to be 13 to stream on Twitch... So right now.. I am teaching him the ins and outs of CONTENT creation. He is exploring his interests.. he is developing skills that will carry him through life.

    You need to understand that the world you lived in 20 years ago is but a shadow of todays world.. THINGS have changed... and it is only to become MORE TECH in the future. STOP thinking you are "doing the right thing" and understand in reality you are doing the exact opposite.

    Embrace her environment.. teach her how to control her environment... teach her she has a voice in this crazy world. THINK about the opportunity that you have to BOND with your child in this.. you are right now without question pushing her away, when she REALLY needs you most ( teen years )

    At this point you want to ground her.. ground her because she is not on the thing more. HER FUTURE depends on it!
    Signature
    Success is an ACT not an idea
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484507].message }}
  • Gotta figure liberty from on high is the worst kinda shitshower.


    QUIT THIS ZERO CRAPOLA ... AN' YR LIFE BE FLYIN'.

    As a confirmed ditzola airhead spankin' out on full throttle arterial SWELL cos she HEY SO STOOPID ... I would wanna figure always how no 15yo gal gotta miss out on the planet less'n her phone been HIJACKED THE F*CK OUT by alla them VARIOUSLY DESCRIBED supremacist types wanna supervulnerablize her evident SMACKOCRAFT.

    tbh I got no problems with THANKSGIVIN' FAM SWEETO, but I ain't so cool with slayin' nowan cos they allergic to PUMPKIN PIE.

    Restriction is immodesty's least effective tool, cos for sure evry gal wants botha her hands on the LEVER, yankin' hard as she can.

    This mean BEAUTY is in the EYE of the BEHOLDAH?

    Gotta hope naht ...
    Signature

    Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff together.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484514].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Yvon Boulianne
    I read a lot about phone and children and like many health professionals i compare it to giving a bag of cocaïne to them, she will go in withdrawal and freak out bad so you better go down step by step. Remember to help her fill the empty times with something more constructive like arts.

    Also keeping her in society without a phone like everybody else will make her rejected and feeling different, alone.. maybe not the best idea.

    I would for sure install a spy app on my child phone to know everything she does with it as it can be a source of so many problems like predator
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484641].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Daniel Evans
      Originally Posted by Yvon Boulianne View Post

      I would for sure install a spy app on my child phone to know everything she does with it as it can be a source of so many problems like predator

      The problem then is, the 'predator' is you.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484663].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Odahh
      Originally Posted by Yvon Boulianne View Post

      I read a lot about phone and children and like many health professionals i compare it to giving a bag of cocaïne to them, she will go in withdrawal and freak out bad so you better go down step by step. Remember to help her fill the empty times with something more constructive like arts.

      Also keeping her in society without a phone like everybody else will make her rejected and feeling different, alone.. maybe not the best idea.

      I would for sure install a spy app on my child phone to know everything she does with it as it can be a source of so many problems like predator
      now are there the same professionals that warned the impending doom from playing video games offline..then games like quake and other online fantasy games ..and such that it was easy to spend to much time on ..and probably got similar effects to using drugs..hell even white sugar supposedly has the same effect on young children and even older people as cocaine..

      so there are many different things that fire off dopamine receptors..and i would say social media and video games are better .. by far than drug use and do not have the criminal ramifications drug use dose.. unless of course the kid can't keep of social media or from texting when they become old enough to get behind the wheel and drive a car .

      on the other hand if the dad and mom in the case of the op or any family are sitting their on their phones around the kids all the time..then the only real way the parents can do anything about the kids using their phones way to much.. is to themselves not be using their phones all the time ..

      if the op is on his phone all the time at home and when not at work.. then the only way to convince the daughter or any child not to be on the phone all the time..is for him to cut back first and then ask the rest of the family not to be on the phones as much at least in the house ..

      as for the scare about social media or any thing having the same effect as an addictive chemical .. that great .. the more way you fire of dopamine receptors.. that don't involve chemical addictions and all the terrible stuff that leads to the better ..
      Signature

      "I just wanted a good job ,but i could not find a good job, So i do it myself"-Jack Ma

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484722].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Evans
    Originally Posted by penny q View Post

    I am going to restrict my 15 year old daughter's phone usage to once a week. What is the most effective way to convince her that she doesn't need to use the phone?

    The same way you can convince yourself that you don't need a forum to garner parental advice.


    Both are social dependencies.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484643].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Beyonslay
    Hi everyone,
    my little brother is as much addicted to playing games on the phone as a geek
    we tried everything with him bit he always find a way to it
    even when my mom took away the phone from him he started to sting and shout.


    ___________________________________
    TweakBox word counter Tutuapp
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484654].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author hardraysnight
      Originally Posted by Beyonslay View Post

      Hi everyone,
      my little brother is as much addicted to playing games on the phone as a geek
      we tried everything with him bit he always find a way to it
      even when my mom took away the phone from him he started to sting and shout
      ever heard of the delete
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484757].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Jeffery
    Let's not joke about child predators. There are under age people on the forum. Most of us understand well-meant intentions. Some may not.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484670].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Daniel Evans
      Originally Posted by Jeffery View Post

      Let's not joke about child predators. There are under age people on the forum. Most of us understand well-meant intentions. Some may not.

      'Predators' come in all shapes and forms and none are the subject of joke.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484675].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    Also keeping her in society without a phone like everybody else will make her rejected and feeling different, alone.. maybe not the best idea.

    I never wanted my sons to be 'in society' - I wanted them to be unique individuals, thinking for themselves rather than followng someone else'se dogma or drama....


    I do not believe phone use is an addiciton - I think it's a habit. Giving it a medical excuse means parents can justify not being 'parental'. What I see are many young people learning about the environment and wildlife and plants and trees....by looking at a little a screen rather than experiencing it in 'real time' at a personal level.


    We are raising a generation that doesn't know how to be alone - doesn't know how to make a simple decision without asking for advice first and most concerning, a generation seemingly willing to accept what they see online as 'fact'. It's a slippery slope in my view.....but thankfully I no longer have young kids.



    If I did, they would be SO restricted on cell phone, games, computer usage....poor babies....
    Signature
    Every child needs a pet because every family needs an optimist

    Saving one dog will not save the world....but will forever change the world for one dog.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484674].message }}
    • Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      We are raising a generation that doesn't know how to be alone - doesn't know how to make a simple decision without asking for advice first and most concerning, a generation seemingly willing to accept what they see online as 'fact'. It's a slippery slope in my view.....but thankfully I no longer have young kids.

      Can I look in on this without maxin' out all stoopid?

      It is without question that we all fronted out on STIMULI rn.

      Back in the day, all you gotta worry 'bout was naht bein' shot by no COWBOY TYPES.

      Plus also, sanitation & stuff.

      Thing is, as a regular Yoga Person, I would want always for intrinsically unmoody floatations of solitude to walk with me whenevah I peel my sorry ass offah the FLOPOUT MAT.

      From this stillest plateau I can mustah, I can touch on all previously energized exotica an' figure sum kinda plausible PULSE might wanna beat awhile on a sustainability ticket as the planet thrusts up change ovah which I got no control.

      Helps also to kinda read around so's manipulative monsters can't evah compel you to trapdoor your own fyooture bcs FREEDOM (or whatevah is the latest buzzword yanks hardest on hoomanity's softest memberstuffs demandin' FIRM ACTION).

      Thing is, we where we are now.

      It is always so.

      Always so.

      Always so.

      It ain't 1957, 1832, or nowhen else alla them SRSLY TRYIN' TO FIGURE STUFF OUT FOR THE BEST types who preceded us c/o way less info looked into the fyooture an' beheld only TRAJJIDY.

      Thing about WF is ... it is an online information resource which anywan got smarts can tap.



      Take MELISSA from KAAANSAS as an example.

      She stops by here real regular cos she SELLIN' TATTOOS ... but she also a cosplay gal hangs out ovah on BROUHABRA.COM.

      Tellya, that gal's cellphone is the internexus of REAL HAPPNIN' STUFF.

      Did I mention she also a GAMER who helps out on an ALPACA FARM?

      I would wish for her to open out into alla that connective potential as SYNAPTICALLY REACHOUT as her horizons would have her mortal flesh be passionately energized to step out her ass.

      Problem is ... we got MONSTAHS kinda DON'T WANT THAT.

      That is why skippin' out sumplace kinda anyplace kinda noplace kinda evryplace gotta be so JUSTIFIED now, beyond hey, I got feet & fyooture, Sweetie.

      Mebbe I bypassed the indecisive moronhole by studyin' sweet on filosophical stuffs before I made out all AAAAAW CMAAAAAN on LOLcat cutesie.

      Truth is, we got info like we nevah had before.

      Jus' gotta smarten up on how noo millennial potential be kinda scuppered by the same ol' lame frickin' usual suspects.

      They got a MAGIC WAND they can DO REAL SRS STIFLE SH*T WITH.

      But while they snarfin' off on a reactionry tangent, resta the planet prolly workin' on THE LATEST WAND.

      Thing is, if it wasn't for naive kinda noo people, born forevah into suffocatin' pre-scripted madness with a view to make shit work like mebbe it could, hoomanity woulda been wiped from the planet a real long time ago.
      Signature

      Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff together.

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484720].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Daniel Evans
        Originally Posted by Princess Balestra View Post

        Can I look in on this without maxin' out all stoopid?

        ........No.
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484723].message }}
        • Originally Posted by Daniel Evans View Post

          ........No.

          Such ellipse abuse!


          Thing 'bout nuthin' is how you can string it on along FOREVAH till it is like

          ...
          ...
          ...
          ...
          ...
          ...
          ...
          ...
          ...
          ...
          ...
          ...
          ...
          ...
          ...
          ...
          ...
          ...
          ...


          sum kinda FAUX INFINITY!


          (They got limited emojis here on WF so ima go with a RACCOON smokin' a TOILET ROLL.)


          Such fun!
          Signature

          Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff together.

          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484725].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    Minimum age for this forum is 18 - if you know someone under that - please let a mod know.


    The age limit was imposed because as internet usage became more available we were seeing 12 yr olds signing up here - and some trying to run WSOs.


    Some members thought it was fine - but it was a US based forum at the time and the age of consent is important - because under that age you can't hold a person to a contract.


    Back in 2008-9 I bought a WSO out of curiosity - and the image on the 'author' page was of a kid sitting on an unmade bed in what was clearly a 'kid's room'. I asked the seller "is that your son" ...his answer: 'no, that's me'. He was 14 and was selling a 'how I made money for the past 5 years' report.
    Signature
    Every child needs a pet because every family needs an optimist

    Saving one dog will not save the world....but will forever change the world for one dog.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484682].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Evans
    'Lucrative Lemonade Stands'.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484687].message }}
  • {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484708].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author DWolfe
    You could have a worse issue if you take away the phone. She may end up running away, commit suicide, or stop speaking to you. If she is placed under such a strict rule. She is 15 the time she should be given some slack so she can turn into a Healthy adult.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484772].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    You don't raise healthy adults without setting limits - requiring something more than kids doing what they want when they want. If a parent worries about such serious consequences if they limit cell phones use....they've already lost the plot.


    Cell phones/social media are hard topics for parents - and for kids.
    Signature
    Every child needs a pet because every family needs an optimist

    Saving one dog will not save the world....but will forever change the world for one dog.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484790].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author savidge4
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      You don't raise healthy adults without setting limits - requiring something more than kids doing what they want when they want. If a parent worries about such serious consequences if they limit cell phones use....they've already lost the plot.


      Cell phones/social media are hard topics for parents - and for kids.
      I don't see how its "Hard" How much time did you spend on the landline when you were growing up? 2? 3? 4? hours a day.. would try and sneak on after everyone went to bed? Is the behavior any different?

      I think the BIG gap here is the understanding of modern culture.. we are living in what is to only become a more digital life. There is no stopping that...

      Another example of how times are changing... I bet growing up you went to the MALL.. heck now.. WHO does that? The pass links of Amazon stuff back and forth and post images on Instagram and Pinterest.

      THE BEHAVIOUR has not changed.. just the form of it.

      Boys don't meet outside in their yard and play football anymore they Meet up with their friends from AROUND THE WORLD and play football online.

      I would suggest kids are MORE social than we as adults will ever be

      as Parents we need to understand the world is changing - and quick.. and we need to stop placing our dated values of what we think is "normal" and understand that its not WHAT the kids are doing that is different than what we did.. its just HOW they are doing it.

      And YES I get it, the world is an evil place... Nothing like the world we lived in... we left doors unlocked ( I still do ) we were let out to play til dark.. we would ride our bikes for miles - and the reality is we don't really want our kids doing that either.

      and you start looking at it that way.. and the PHONE is not such a bad thing.. the ISSUE however is kids have been left to their own devices in terms of dealing with and understanding what "dangers" of the connected world are and how to deal with it.

      AND that in itself is the issue. Its super easy to teach your kid to look both ways before crossing the street, or don't talk to strangers or this and that and the other.. but setting ground rules in the digital era.. PARENTS don't have a clue - and THAT is scarry

      PS KAY. Im not actually directing my words At you.. but using YOUR words that reflect a pretty common belief as a base.
      Signature
      Success is an ACT not an idea
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484854].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
    Originally Posted by OptedIn View Post

    And now you just drool for no apparent reason. Messy!
    Gee, you still around, l thought that you were taking a break, getting your bolts tightened, usual stuff?

    Originally Posted by Odahh View Post

    i think dementia is setting in early for Shane.. thought he was in his mid 50's.. being 15 when the n64 came out would make him barley 40 ..
    Ok, ok, Atari 2600 then!

    Originally Posted by Daniel Evans View Post

    I had Oil Panic when I was 8 year old.

    I was recently going to buy Donkey Kong as an investment. They are going for around £80.
    Yes, oil panic was a good one, but l am always a sucker for Donkey Kong.

    Good to know, l still have my one.



    The clip is broken, but still.

    And l also have this one.



    Apart from that still have Merlin and Galaxy Quest and the boring sub one.

    Back then when a kid bought Donkey Kong into the schoolyard he would have a crowd watching him, so it was the trendy thing to have and you wanted to play it as often as possible.

    And sure if my parents took it off me, l would have a p**y fit, but got over it, and learned some self desipline and or self control.

    These were the smartphones in my day, and sure that Smartphones are like 20 of these things, but l believe that the same rules apply.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484871].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Daniel Evans
      Originally Posted by tagiscom View Post

      Back then when a kid bought Donkey Kong into the schoolyard he would have a crowd watching him, so it was the trendy thing to have and you wanted to play it as often as possible.

      Yeah, I'll never forget the kid who somehow managed to get his hands on the most sought after Game & Watches that we didn't even know existed.

      Everyone was in absolute awe when he brought in Donkey Kong 3.



      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11485113].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author hardraysnight
    i asked my son, age 8 if he wanted a phone or a kitten

    nolo contendre

    we have a new kitten, called nokia
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11484969].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author chuckholmes
    Probably the best way to get her to buy into the idea, if it's even possible, is if you restrict your own phone time to the same amount of time.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11493346].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    OP hasn't logged in since the day after posting this thread...so...


    Hope his kid didn't hurt him
    Signature
    Every child needs a pet because every family needs an optimist

    Saving one dog will not save the world....but will forever change the world for one dog.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[11493397].message }}
Avatar of Unregistered

Trending Topics