Can you name this book?

Her name wasn't exactly Rose. It was Rosy...Rosy Palm. My wife and I have an open marriage. She gave me permission to visit Rosy any time I want.

It's all explained in my new book Circumference Of Doom; Rosy Nights.

Clauderr - The sad story of a chubby old man who will do anything for $5 and the two heroes out to stop him.

So did Claude fall in love with Rosy? Just a little curious.. because Claude sounds a lot like a guy I know.

Knew it!

I think l saw that book,....l was looking in a large plastic bin at an opp-shop, (when l was in New Zealand) and after sifting through some Chuck Norris sings Classical, LP's and such, at the bottom of the bin, this bright pink book with blue lettering caught my eye.

It was a sight to see, glistening as it was, on top of a Death leppard Ballards LP, and surrounded by rat,....never mind.

I didn't buy it since the pane of death warning on the first page put me off, as did the "this book is dedicated to Krispy Kreme".

And the images in the middle, scary.


I avoid those sections when l go to Fiverr.

This made me recall of a fiver gig,

Give me $20 and i ll pray for you :-D

I so love the origin scene in 45 Shades of Grey where Claude is practicin' his kung fu moves in his secret Batman-style cave deep below The Sweeper Store.

As he kicks, chops and headbutts imaginary IMers of renown, his foot catches the ON switch of the signature SUCK-4-U vacuum prototype built according to his instructions by NASA.

His dungeon darkens as the subtler shadowy hues vanish up the cleaner's turbocharged suction pipe.

An' he knows, deep in his heart -- way down deep below his exotic man boobs -- that if the color an' brightness an' light of GREY is to be returned to the world, he gotta shrink himself inside that NASA cleaner an' reclaim those 5 lost shades.

Problem is ... as a Capricorn, he also knows this means losin' sight of the business admin for like mebbe 24 hours, so he figures hoomankind gotta manage.

"What is the problem with grimmer horizons anyway?" he mutters. "They inspire individuals to greatness where abundant fortune only graces them with the misery of eternal folly."

Sounds like a guy most women know...and avoid....

Forty days and forty nights have passed. Claude and Rosy fell in and out of love forty times. That is what alien Cosmic Nihilist do. Claude never left Rosy's side and healed her injuries.

There was a knock on the fortress door. Again, Claude quickly hides his KFC stash. Claude opened the door and a bright white light filled the room. It blinded both Claude and Rosy.

Claude awoke from a deep sleep and discovered Rosy and his KFC stash have disappeared. He realized he had to come out of retirement and make a plan to save Rosy.

Priorities. First, replace the KFC stash. Second, watch the football game. Third..

To Be Continued

Priorities. First, replace the KFC stash. Second, watch the football game.

Third..

Check the tracker he had previously implanted inside Rosy for her whereabouts. They had a long history.

She was located in a Belgian Waffle Bakery also a well known front for Alien counterfeit monopoly money. Perfect he gasped. Two of my favorite things on the planet.

Still, two things to do:
Send Sterns a fan letter
and
A visit to the Sweeper Store

To Be Continued

I've always thought Percival was a good name for a book.

Or maybe Stan if it's more populist.

Dan Riffle & Claude Whitacre: "The Laurel & Hardy Story"

Shane, picture please

Excellent, Thanks.

A visit to the Sweeper Store..


Claude entered The Sweeper Store and flipped a switch that
activated the Claude Android. The android was well trained to
pose as Claude during Claude's absense.

He entered the basement that led to his secret vault that
contained his alien agent arsenal and the original schmatics of
the first atomic vacuum cleaner he loaned Oppenheimer.

Boarding his spaceship he tele-commuicated Rosy's coordinates
and arrived at the Belgieum Waffle Bakery across the street
from Freelancer, Sydney, Australia.

At the bakery he was greeted by Shane the head baker and
official Alien Comptroller. Shane quickly kneeled and assumed
the position in reverence to the greatest Alien Hunter in the
universe.

Moments later Mark the official "Q" for Alien Hunters entered
the room with Eve Moneypenny on his arm. Mark almost fainted
when Eve kneeled and assumed a different position. ( edited by Jeffery )

Claude shouted "Oh where, Oh where, has my sweet Rosy gone?"

Whitty the official AlienPedia entered and told Shane "Stop
that!" He pointed Claude to the Freelance Fortress across the
street.

To be continued..

Go figure