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Pieces?

by Jeffery
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Contribute your "piece" unless you choose not to.




Your plane crash lands on an unmapped island. After a two day walk through a hot jungle you discover a village of beautiful women and men.


The village chief welcomes you and offers you a refreshing bath - that you decline proclaiming you are an Internet Marketer and only take showers on Cyber Mondays.


Next, you are offered you a comfortable hammock under a shade tree to sleep off your two day journey through the hot jungle to reach the village - that you decline saying that you can only sleep in a basement.

With a puzzling grin on the village chief's face you are offered...
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    ....a case of Red Bull and directed to the dark, quiet hut at the edge of the village...where you...
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  • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
    ..offered the village chief's brand new, 16-part, limited edition membership course on "the secrets of village life they don't want you to know", with an upsell on "how to win the hand of the chief's daughter - even if you've never had a girlfriend."

    Actual value of $999,999, but yours for only $99.97 if you buy within the next 24 hours!

    100% guaranteed, or your plane back!


    So you...
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  • Profile picture of the author Jeffery
    Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

    ....a case of Red Bull and directed to the dark, quiet hut at the edge of the village...where you...


    Originally Posted by Frank Donovan View Post

    ..offered the village chief's brand new, 16-part, limited edition membership course on "the secrets of village life they don't want you to know", with an upsell on "how to win the hand of the chief's daughter - even if you've never had a girlfriend."

    Actual value of $999,999, but yours for only $99.97 if you buy within the next 24 hours!

    100% guaranteed, or your plane back!

    So you...
    Think about it for 48 hours and on a Red Bull high, roll-back the PC clock and Click the BUY NOW button.


    Minutes later UPS drops a box on your doorstep. Lugging the box down to your basement you smell and awful odor.


    Inside the box is a note saying "You are a valued customer. Please accept the hand of the chief's daughter - free of charge. If you would like to have rest of her complete the enclosed form and PayPal $99.97 to us."


    So you...
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    • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
      Originally Posted by Jeffery View Post

      Inside the box is a note saying "You are a valued customer. Please accept the hand of the chief's daughter - free of charge. If you would like to have rest of her complete the enclosed form and PayPal $99.97 to us."

      So you...
      Ask for a review copy.




      And the chief responds...
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  • Profile picture of the author toysoldier80
    A seat at the main table for the most extravigant meal in your lifetime. He wants to know your favorite foods and everything you might be interested in so the cooks can whip up something fantastic along with some of the islands favorites for you to try out. He mentions having some of the best appetizers you will ever eat, along with the the main courses, and of course some dessert to end the meal..

    You politely decline saying I have to work hard for my online business and only eat pizza, and drink whatever I have in the fridge, if nothing is in there to drink than I just drink tap water.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    "and the chief responds...."


    "Just I was kidding...ha ha ha....you can have all of my daughter for the special weekend price of $47..click 'get it now' as the price can increase any time...."


    Chief goes on to offer his village as a home base for your new internet business where you sell....



    .
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    • Profile picture of the author Jeffery
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      "and the chief responds...."

      "Just I was kidding...ha ha ha....you can have all of my daughter for the special weekend price of $47..click 'get it now' as the price can increase any time...."

      Chief goes on to offer his village as a home base for your new internet business where you sell....
      Cannibal Cooking Lessons

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  • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
    Did I miss the part where the village chief says ...

    "Biggest problem with our island? Though we are blessed with beautiful men and beautiful women, a stranger such as yourself possesses a curiously attractive charm ... the lure of mystery beyond the commonplace. Naturally, I would wish to summon an army to protect you from the advances of our menfolk ... but our views on gender are 100% trad, and said army is basically the guys. That is why the best I can offer you as chief of this island is, perhaps, small comfort. You may take your pick from the hordes as they present themselves. It is all I can do to spare you. Our basement is well equipped for ... comfort. And we have Netflix every Tuesday.



    Kindly stop grinning. I understand our tribal goatskin attire may seem risible to outsiders, but we take it very seriously. Especially the hoof stilts.    "
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    • Profile picture of the author Jeffery
      Originally Posted by Princess Balestra View Post

      Did I miss the part where the village chief says ...

      "Biggest problem with our island? Though we are blessed with beautiful men and beautiful women, a stranger such as yourself possesses a curiously attractive charm ... the lure of mystery beyond the commonplace. Naturally, I would wish to summon an army to protect you from the advances of our menfolk ... but our views on gender are 100% trad, and said army is basically the guys. That is why the best I can offer you as chief of this island is, perhaps, small comfort. You may take your pick from the hordes as they present themselves. It is all I can do to spare you. Our basement is well equipped for ... comfort. And we have Netflix every Tuesday.



       Kindly stop grinning. I understand our tribal goatskin attire may seem risible to outsiders, but we take it very seriously. Especially the hoof stilts."
      Horderves is what we call it in these parts. Not to be mistakes for finger food.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    Naturally, I would wish to summon an army to protect you from the advances of our menfolk ... but our views on gender are 100% trad, and said army is basically the guys.

    Sounds like the chief is angling for an influx of females....get a couple influencers to promote the available men and you'll create a unique tourist industry.


    But we digress....when discussing horsedervers, the chief was asked if he could provide 'real fingers' for afternoon tea....


    'well', said the chief with a twinkle in this eye, 'the truth is'....
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    • Profile picture of the author Jeffery
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      Sounds like the chief is angling for an influx of females....get a couple influencers to promote the available men and you'll create a unique tourist industry.

      But we digress....when discussing horsedervers, the chief was asked if he could provide 'real fingers' for afternoon tea....

       'well', said the chief with a twinkle in this eye, 'the truth is'....
      We have special weekend offers wherein you will receive your choice of 'real fingers' fine dining with your choice of..
      Elon Musk $999.97 per finger or Gordon Ramsay $1099.97 per finger

      Your choice?...
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