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The Most Absurd Thing You Ever Heard

by lanfear63
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Last night I was watching a documentary about Sea Monsters and the Loch Ness Monster on the Travel channel. Of course there are most likely a lot of large sea animals as yet undiscovered, We find new species all the time, also some thought to be extinct. The sea is vast and deep and largely unexplored.

So, the documentary was enjoyable enough. But then they spoil it a bit by offering an alternative explanation to the Loch Ness Monster. Saying, that the walls of the lock are made of granite and contain a lot of quartz. So, somehow, this is creating a vortex, wormhole in time and allowing sea creatures like the Plesiosaurus and others to come through it from the past to the present day. Hmmmm.

I expect you will have a dig and say the Mandela Effect is the most absurd notion or theory you have ever heard, but putting that aside, what else has made you gasp with disbelief?
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  • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
    Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

    Last night I was watching a documentary about Sea Monsters and the Loch Ness Monster on the Travel channel. Of course there are most likely a lot of large sea animals as yet undiscovered, We find new species all the time, also some thought to be extinct. The sea is vast and deep and largely unexplored.

    So, the documentary was enjoyable enough. But then they spoil it a bit by offering an alternative explanation to the Loch Ness Monster. Saying, that the walls of the lock are made of granite and contain a lot of quartz. So, somehow, this is creating a vortex, wormhole in time and allowing sea creatures like the Plesiosaurus and others to come through it from the past to the present day. Hmmmm.

    I expect you will have a dig and say the Mandela Effect is the most absurd notion or theory you have ever heard, but putting that aside, what else has made you gasp with disbelief?
    I was standing in line at a restaurant years ago. The night before, there was a David Copperfield magic show on TV. The two young men behind me were talking about it. One said "I hear David Copperfield uses real magic".

    I had to turn around and just see what someone would look like...that said such a thing.

    I was at a UFO convention for about half an hour (It was in the same casino as where I was speaking). A woman showed me "A genuine photograph of a real alien" that she bought. It was a line drawing.

    That Loch Ness monster story you just told? About once a month, somebody posts a video on this forum that's about that bad. And they post it as "evidence" of some hairbrained theory or another.

    Decades ago, when I was actively training in Kung Fu, a friend of my step daughters said "You know, when you yell in Karate, it's because you are summoning demons".

    I've actually heard that before. Never from anyone that ever took a lesson though.
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  • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
    Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

    I expect you will have a dig and say the Mandela Effect is the most absurd notion or theory you have ever heard, but putting that aside, what else has made you gasp with disbelief?
    You know what Mark, if you started the Mandella thread elsewhere l wouldn't think that, (sure l am moderately skeptical).

    And current RV,ers tend to think that the future is multi pronged or has several forks in the road, (probably because if you know the outcome then you will affect the outcome.

    But most absurd thing, l would normally say Flat Earthers, that prove that they are wrong, and then forget about it the next day.

    But this tops all lists for me.


    And he is serious.
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    • Profile picture of the author Radcliff
      Originally Posted by tagiscom View Post

      You know what Mark, if you started the Mandella thread elsewhere l wouldn't think that, (sure l am moderately skeptical).

      And current RV,ers tend to think that the future is multi pronged or has several forks in the road, (probably because if you know the outcome then you will affect the outcome.

      But most absurd thing, l would normally say Flat Earthers, that prove that they are wrong, and then forget about it the next day.

      But this tops all lists for me.

      "Birds Aren't Real" Campaign - YouTube

      And he is serious.
      He cannot actually be serious, I found it really hard to believe, and just like you here I thought the flat earth believers were unbelievable.
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    • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
      Originally Posted by tagiscom View Post

      You know what Mark, if you started the Mandella thread elsewhere l wouldn't think that, (sure l am moderately skeptical).

      And current RV,ers tend to think that the future is multi pronged or has several forks in the road, (probably because if you know the outcome then you will affect the outcome.

      But most absurd thing, l would normally say Flat Earthers, that prove that they are wrong, and then forget about it the next day.

      But this tops all lists for me.

      "Birds Aren't Real" Campaign - YouTube

      And he is serious.
      Lol, I told my Cockatiel about this a few years back, he just laughed, but continued to film me.
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    • Profile picture of the author jonny0000
      what you mean?
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  • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
    Originally Posted by Radcliff View Post

    He cannot actually be serious, I found it really hard to believe, and just like you here I thought the flat earth believers were unbelievable.
    Yep he is, (one of the shows hosts only let him on since she thought he was kidding) but he is a serious nutter.

    Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

    Lol, I told my Cockatiel about this a few years back, he just laughed, but continued to film me.
    Now you have put the cat among the robotic pigeons.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
    The Whattys.
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  • Profile picture of the author Odahh
    oh i can get in so much trouble ..

    ever listen to the reasons why economist think deflation is bad .. yet the entire tech sector of the economy is based on dropping prices year after year . or even making things free .

    then there are gold bug .. who try to link all price increases to changes in value of the dollar .. and ignore 20 other things that cause prices to raise over time . but i think i must have an absurd belief that the US dollar is as much a commodity where the value is set by the supply and the demand ..

    for get the twilight zone of absurd stuff.. the large number of commonly held .. but completely absurd beliefs about things in the modern world ..
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  • Profile picture of the author Janice Sperry
    I have heard a lot of absurd things in my life. I have probably believed a few of them for awhile.

    But the most absurd thing I have ever heard...

    "COVID-19 is a hoax."
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    • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
      Originally Posted by Janice Sperry View Post

      I have heard a lot of absurd things in my life. I have probably believed a few of them for awhile.

      But the most absurd thing I have ever heard...

      "COVID-19 is a hoax."
      Janice Sperry just throwing truth bombs. Boom!
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by Janice Sperry View Post

      I have heard a lot of absurd things in my life. I have probably believed a few of them for awhile.

      But the most absurd thing I have ever heard...

      "COVID-19 is a hoax."
      This is a little different. The other beliefs we have heard were just silly things said by uninformed people. But they believed what they said.

      The "Covid-19 is a hoax" claim is different. It started as a lie. Soon, others believed it. But it was intentional, not a mistake.

      It's also a little different in that this cost lives. Most nonsensical belief we hear don't cost lives.
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  • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
    When I was selling vacuum cleaners in people's homes, a woman in a restaurant, that overheard a conversation I was having...asked me "Do you sell vacuum cleaners?"

    I said I did. She said "Well, I bought a Kirby vacuum cleaner from you. And I hate it!"

    I said "Mam, I don't sell Kirby vacuum cleaners"

    She said "Yes you do, and you ripped me off"

    I said "No. You are mistaken. I don't sell Kirby vacuum cleaners"

    She got really angry. The other people at her table started getting angry too.

    I said "Do you remember the name of the person that sold it to you?"

    She said "Yes! Your name is (Whatever it was)"

    I said "I'm very sorry, that's not my name. You have me mixed up with another salesman. I have identification if you would like to see it"

    Her "Yeah, I bet you do!"

    I asked how long ago she bought her vacuum cleaner. She said "A year ago"

    I suggested that she go home, and call the number that they gave her. She would see that it wasn't me.

    She said "Yeah, you'd like that wouldn't you?"

    I said "I don't know how many ways to tell you. I've never met you before, I don't know you. I've never been to your home. Just because I sell vacuum cleaners, doesn't mean I'm the guy that sold you a Kirby. I sell a different brand. I have one in the car, I'd be happy to show you. You are simply mistaken"

    She said "I'm calling the company and reporting you"

    I said "You mean the Kirby company? I don't work for them. I don't sell Kirby vacuum cleaners. I've never met you or sold you a vacuum cleaner. Honestly".

    I got up and left.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jeffery
    Luke and Laura forever.
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  • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
    I was in a bar decades ago.

    A woman sat down next to me and soon asked, "What do you do for a living?"

    I said "I sell vacuum cleaners"/

    She said "How do you make money doing that?"

    I said "I sell them for more than I pay for them".

    She said "Is that legal?"
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    • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
      Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

      I was in a bar decades ago.

      A woman sat down next to me and soon asked, "What do you do for a living?"

      I said "I sell vacuum cleaners"/

      She said "How do you make money doing that?"

      I said "I sell them for more than I pay for them".

      She said "Is that legal?"
      And that's the story of how you met you're first wife.
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  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
    Dan Riffle sired a human child.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jeffery
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  • Profile picture of the author Devilfish168
    In before , Earth is flat
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    Absurd post of the year (also posted this in covid thread earlier) - has to be from the State that is home to Claude and Dan Riffle - and myself...and many others as well.



    Dec 2 - Ohio has been added to the Ohio Department of Health's COVID-19 Travel Advisory map, meaning the state is recommending Ohioans avoid traveling to Ohio, and those entering Ohio after traveling from Ohio are advised to self-quarantine in Ohio for 14 days.

    ooooookay - I'll jut stay home?
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    • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      ooooookay - I'll jut stay home?
      Yes, as long as you self-quarantine for 14 days afterwards. The instructions are quite clear.
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      • Profile picture of the author Jeffery
        Originally Posted by Frank Donovan View Post

        Yes, as long as you self-quarantine for 14 days afterwards. The instructions are quite clear.
        I have to admit I was confused after reading it until I realized that it means "self-quarantine for 14 days after reading the article."
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    • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
      Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

      Absurd post of the year (also posted this in covid thread earlier) - has to be from the State that is home to Claude and Dan Riffle - and myself...and many others as well.






      ooooookay - I'll jut stay home?
      I have to admit I've only skimmed over your post, but the impression I got from that skim is that the State of Ohio has issued a warning to its citizens to avoid the named persons (and gnomes).

      Do I have the essence of your post correct, or should I read it in a bit more depth than I have thus far?
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  • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
    Can I nominate the Sweepah Store Festive Challenge?

    See, bcs if'n you enter the store wearin' a mask any time from December 10 an' say, "I so love Circumference Doom -- an' I claim my prize", Claude will rush out back an' throw on his Kung Fu duds an' a Santa hat.

    Next, he'll lay down on the countah an' hitch up his Fu top to reveal what has become known in sales circles as The Navel of Ultimate Opportoonity.

    This is where YOU come in.

    First, you take one teeny marble offa the scantily clad elf gal who pops up from noplace.

    Second, you take up your spot behind the dotted line 15' from where Claude reclines.

    Finally, you got ONE SHOT to plop that ol' marble in Wooster's ultimate wishin' well.

    Yeah, bcs if'n you got supah swell aim, Claude gonna grant you a wish.

    Natchrlly this is a hoovah-themed wish steada the regulah 'eternal life' genie stuff, but if I tellya previous lucky winnahs of the Sweepah Store Festive Challenge have walked away with trooly hot prizes like

    * 25' of premium hoovah powah cable
    * a dust bag signed by Claude's wife
    * 16 ultra rare 1998 crevice attachments

    ... hey, then you'll understand why this beats any offah gowin' for the rest of 2020!


    But There's More!


    Yeah, bcs if'n your marble hits Claude's danglin' pom, he will sing any song from The King An' I in a toonful an' masterful mannah like the bald guy who dun the original music.

    An' remembah -- Claude got the loon pants to make this baby a treat.

    Don't wanna sound like no Sweepah affiliate, but if I were you guys, I would get ovah there soon as you can.
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    • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
      Originally Posted by Princess Balestra View Post

      but if I were you guys, I would get ovah there soon as you can.[/SIZE]
      That means we'll have to fight our way through the crowd of people bearing tar and feathers that always gather outside the Sweepah Store.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    This is where YOU come in.

    I appreciate the invitation - but I think this is where I opt out...just sayin...
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    If you knew how bad my throwing arm is....you'd be breathing a sigh of relief....
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    You don't have to be crazy to ride with us - we can train you...
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    Not sure if the comment below is absurd or freaking brilliant...


    Tell someone you love them today, because life is short.
    But shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing.
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  • Profile picture of the author Luka19
    Flat Earth 'Theory'. For me this is shocking, but there are plenty of people around the world who genuinely believe the Earth is flat. In year 2020, this is really crazy like if you still play poker on pokerstars
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by Luka19 View Post

      Flat Earth 'Theory'. For me this is shocking, but there are plenty of people around the world who genuinely believe the Earth is flat. In year 2020
      Because I love hearing myself talk, I think I'll say something here.

      The flat Earth believers are often made fun of as being silly people. But often, the people that ridicule them also believe things that are equally absurd.

      It's only because we can sort of agree...at least most of us, that believing the Earth is flat is a silly idea.

      But on this very forum, I weekly read ideas that are proposed with a serious intent...that are equally devoid of even the slightest hint of reason.

      Half of the world's population has a below average IQ.

      A sobering thought to get us through the night...
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      • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        Half of the world's population has a below average IQ.

        A sobering thought to get us through the night...
        I remember seeing that in someone's sig. But it assumes an even spread of IQ scores across the population. Much like the idea that when Bill Gates walks into a bar, he raises the average net worth of the patrons to around $2billion, any significant outliers are going to skew the figure.

        It's likely that far more than half the world's population are of below average IQ, although I'd doubt that IQ is necessarily an indicator of absurd beliefs.
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        • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
          Originally Posted by Frank Donovan View Post

          I remember seeing that in someone's sig. But it assumes an even spread of IQ scores across the population. Much like the idea that when Bill Gates walks into a bar, he raises the average net worth of the other drinkers to around $2billion, any significant outliers are going to skew the figure.

          It's likely that far more than half the world's population are below average IQ, although I'd doubt that IQ is necessarily an indicator of absurd beliefs.
          Bill Gates walked into a bar. A female drinker said: "Hey Bill, what ever happened to Windows 9?" "Windows seven eight nine" said Bill. "Wise guy" said the woman menacingly walking towards him, "you have performed an illegal operation and I'm going to shut you down" she said. Her clenched fist had the tattoo of a serial number on it. "Try entering that" said the woman taking a swing at him. Bill felt her fist make contact with his jaw and was afraid the blue screen of death would wash over him.

          The Barman called the police. Fortunately it was only a glancing blow and Bill quickly Rebooted. A concerned PC hovered over him. "Don't worry Bill", your in safe mode. we were scanning for Covid viruses in the area and responded quickly. The woman has been quarantined. "Here, drink this Mcafee" said the cop, "you know, you really should work out and upgrade yourself" he said Bill took a sip and said: "I'm already the latest version," Then he said. "I'm so grateful that you guys man your Office, 365 days of the year" The PC smiled and said: "Well, that's what we are here for, To Protect and Server"
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          • Profile picture of the author Frank Donovan
            Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

            Bill Gates walked into a bar. A female drinker said: "Hey Bill, what ever happened to Windows 9?" "Windows seven eight nine" said Bill. "Wise guy" said the woman menacingly walking towards him, "you have performed an illegal operation and I'm going to shut you down" she said. Her clenched fist had the tattoo of a serial number on it. "Try entering that" said the woman taking a swing at him. Bill felt her fist make contact with his jaw and was afraid the blue screen of death would wash over him.

            The Barman called the police. Fortunately it was only a glancing blow and Bill quickly Rebooted. A concerned PC hovered over him. "Don't worry Bill", your in safe mode. we were scanning for Covid viruses in the area and responded quickly. The woman has been quarantined. "Here, drink this Mcafee" said the cop, "you know, you really should work out and upgrade yourself" he said Bill took a sip and said: "I'm already the latest version," Then he said. "I'm so grateful that you guys man your Office, 365 days of the year" The PC smiled and said: "Well, that's what we are here for, To Protect and Server"
            By any chance, have you had a message from your work colleagues saying "no need to rush back"?

            Just wondering...
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            • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
              Originally Posted by Frank Donovan View Post

              By any chance, have you had a message from your work colleagues saying "no need to rush back"?

              Just wondering...
              I will not be rushing back to work anytime soon, I retired about 4 weeks ago. No more work for me.
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              • Profile picture of the author Jeffery
                Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

                I will not be rushing back to work anytime soon, I retired about 4 weeks ago. No more work for me.
                Congrats. So how are you spending your time now?
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                • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
                  Originally Posted by Jeffery View Post

                  Congrats. So how are you spending your time now?
                  Apparently, a bit more worthlessly than before...



                  (Congrats, Mark. Enjoy your newfound freedom.)
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                • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
                  Originally Posted by Jeffery View Post

                  Congrats. So how are you spending your time now?
                  It's funny, at the moment it still seems to be like an extended vacation. Just enjoying it, being a man of leisure. However, just like the rest of of us, I can't really get out there and travel and do what I like thanks to Covid. A bit of a limbo time.

                  I am financially secure enough and within reason, can indulge myself. But the world is currently not cooperating.
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                  • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
                    Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post

                    It's funny, at the moment it still seems to be like an extended vacation. Just enjoying it, being a man of leisure. However, just like the rest of of us, I can't really get out there and travel and do what I like thanks to Covid. A bit of a limbo time.

                    I am financially secure enough and within reason, can indulge myself. But the world is currently not cooperating.
                    What, Mark go and buy a PS5, and rely on Uber eats for a year!

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                    • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
                      Originally Posted by tagiscom View Post

                      What, Mark go and buy a PS5, and rely on Uber eats for a year!
                      Ah yes, a PS5, now I realize what's missing from my life. Now, it does have Galaxians, Space Invaders and the Breakout game, right? That's where I left off.
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        • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
          Originally Posted by Frank Donovan View Post


          It's likely that far more than half the world's population are of below average IQ, although I'd doubt that IQ is necessarily an indicator of absurd beliefs.
          That's what I found. IQ just gives us a greater capacity to defend our beliefs.

          One thing I enjoy doing is watching Youtube interviews with people that have beliefs opposed to my world view. But only the really smart ones. And they are out there.


          Originally Posted by lanfear63 View Post



          At least Flat Earthers seek to broaden their horizons.
          Excellent. Really excellent.
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      • Profile picture of the author Jeffery
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        Because I love hearing myself talk, I think I'll say something here.

        The flat Earth believers are often made fun of as being silly people. But often, the people that ridicule them also believe things that are equally absurd.

        It's only because we can sort of agree...at least most of us, that believing the Earth is flat is a silly idea.

        But on this very forum, I weekly read ideas that are proposed with a serious intent...that are equally devoid of even the slightest hint of reason.

        Half of the world's population has a below average IQ.

        A sobering thought to get us through the night...
        There is a Boogieman under every bed and at least half of them have a below average IQ.
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      • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        Because I love hearing myself talk, I think I'll say something here.

        The flat Earth believers are often made fun of as being silly people. But often, the people that ridicule them also believe things that are equally absurd.

        It's only because we can sort of agree...at least most of us, that believing the Earth is flat is a silly idea.

        But on this very forum, I weekly read ideas that are proposed with a serious intent...that are equally devoid of even the slightest hint of reason.

        Half of the world's population has a below average IQ.

        A sobering thought to get us through the night...
        You, yourself is proof of the Heliocentric model

        At least Flat Earthers seek to broaden their horizons.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    plenty of people around the world who genuinely believe the Earth is flat. In year 2020

    I think those people are crazy - and we should take them to the edge of the Earth and drop them off.
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  • Profile picture of the author hemn shenavari
    One time when I was in school I had a substitute teacher argue with me that Luxembourg was a country in Africa that had a European name because of colonizers. I had to go on google maps and show her in front of the class and explain to her that Luxembourg was next France, Germany, and Belgium. She then proceeded to point out Chad on the map and explain how "Chad" is pronounced Luxembourg. I had to bring in the geography teacher from across the hall to tell her this was not true. She then proceeded to leave the building and not come back till lunch.
    I learned two days later that she was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimers and I felt the most guilty I had ever felt in my life.

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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by hemn shenavari View Post

      I learned two days later that she was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimers and I felt the most guilty I had ever felt in my life.
      That's a pretty powerful first time post.

      Another Forum member has as his signature "Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle".

      I think about that sometimes. My nature is to "correct" mistakes I see in reasoning or what I see as irrational thoughts. Not fun for me. Not fun for anyone else.

      None of us share the same experience. None of us have the same ability to reason, the same ability to remember, to learn. We all have different levels of intelligence, education, backgrounds.....we have all been raised by different people. It all makes us who we are and how we think.

      When I read a post here that I find silly. I have to remember that to the person posting, it makes perfect sense, and their sincerity is not really in question.

      And, like most people, it seldom occurs to me that I could be misunderstanding what's being said, or that I could just be wrong.

      Your post reminded me that I can do better. Thank you.
      Signature
      One Call Closing book https://www.amazon.com/One-Call-Clos...=1527788418&sr
      "Be Kind, For Everyone You Meet Is Fighting A Great Battle" John Watson
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  • Profile picture of the author Declan O Flaherty
    The most absurd thing I have ever heard?

    I was once led to believe there was a man in the sky who loved me.

    How absurd.

    Sorry.
    Signature
    Not all hype merchants are frauds... but all
    frauds are most certainly hype merchants.
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    • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
      Originally Posted by Declan O Flaherty View Post

      The most absurd thing I have ever heard?

      I was once led to believe there was a man in the sky who loved me.

      How absurd.

      Sorry.
      There is a man in the sky and he hates you, (and it isn't Bill Gates).

      There.


      PS love your sig, almost as good as, "heat is causing record cold"!

      Signature
      Archimedes-Forum where Ideas Take Flight..
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  • Profile picture of the author Mark Singletary
    I think some of the most absurd things I've ever heard are from some marketers and even in this forum when it was more like the wild west without rules limiting income promises.

    I'm amazed people still fall for the make $53,232,11 before Friday lunch time with no skills, no website, no money, no education, no writing, no products, no SEO, no marketing, no email, no experience even if you only have one pointer finger left like I do.

    Yet, I did in the early days. It didn't take me but a time or two or three to figure out that I was being played. Maybe it was that I had both pointer fingers and that guy only had one, I'm not sure. Or maybe I had too many skills or knowledge. Or maybe he was talking about Friday lunch in 23 years from then and I supposed he meant this Friday.

    Absurd.

    Mark
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  • Profile picture of the author jonny0000
    thanks for the information.
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  • Profile picture of the author Luka19
    Flat Earth 'Theory'. For me this is shocking, but there are plenty of people around the world who genuinely believe the Earth is flat. In year 2020
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    • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
      Originally Posted by Luka19 View Post

      Flat Earth 'Theory'. For me this is shocking, but there are plenty of people around the world who genuinely believe the Earth is flat. In year 2020
      The World is flat and has a Dome over it. So when it snows it is called a snow globe. but, a globe depicts something that is round. There, flat earthers outwitted yet again.
      Signature

      Marriage, For The Best Arguments

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  • Profile picture of the author Moh Amirullah
    Banned
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