Are You Child Free?

Weird as I never saw this thread until now

But it raises some good points. Personally I could not imagine Life without my children. I thought I really never would have them and always wondered why people made such a big deal about them... until I actually had them.

I do not doubt that being child free has its positive points. And I try not to rub it in for people who made that choice. I totally respect that.

But personally being child free for 41 years and then having them the last 14 years I can attest that the positive outweighs the negative by a country mile.

It's impossible to describe what having a child is like to someone who has never had one. It's like trying to describe color to a lifelong blind person.

Until the day my son was born, I didn't have any feelings for kids at all. To me, they were minor interruptions. Only occasionally did I find one interesting.

The day Steve was born, that all got flipped around. Every parent knows what I mean.

A strange conversation I've had with my son a few times is the difference between the love he feels for me, and the love a parent has for their child. I told him someday he might understand. Maybe he will.

I think the love a parent has is instinctual. I don't think we have a choice.

Now that I've said all that, passing on the family name...family history...where we come from...legacy...bloodlines...none of that matters to me at all.

No, l am the same as Claude or don't really care about the family name continuing since if you are gone who cares.

About the only plus would be them standing around your death bed, but yet again you cannot take them with you so we get back to who cares.

Meeting the right person, creating wealth, enjoying the wealth and using the wealth for my entertainment and the betterment of others is higher up on my list.

It doesn't sound bad to me. My life would have been easier, wealthier, etc without two sons....but not nearly as fulfilling or as much fun as it has been with them.


I don't think you can explain to someone without children what it means to have them....but then i don't think everyone needs to have children to have a good life.

When I am able to live outside the country I will probably end up in a relationship where children naturally happen. I can't afford children in the USA so I never took the risk.

I want a traditional woman who wants to be a wife and a mother and has a big family that gets along most of the time.

A traditional woman who is not looking for the ideal perfect man . But a man she can mold into her man.

Then being my elder l need to show you some respect,....hmm.

As I undahstand the deal, I gaht 3 optshwaahns regardin' parenthood:

1) Convention sucks sum stoopid Prince from outta the ethah, an' all my fyootyoore days are extinctified by perpetyool servitood.



Like Joan of Arc said: "you gonna be oppressed, better to do it PROPERLY."

2) I mix shit up in a Harry & Meghan capacity an run off with a violinist.

3) Obsessive intrest in iguanah matin' calls compels me to denounce my Princesshood entirely an' romp out with the reptiles on a distant island ain't even gaht no name.

Guy with a scythe shows enda each month askin' me if'n I made my mind up yet.

Call me psychic, but I believe he is the kind don't have kids hisself.

Gotta figure middle names are a source of solace for many.

Mine is an ABOMINAYSCHWAAHN.

Aside from the things already said about children, one thing they do is keep you thinking. I'm surprised by the things I find myself Googling. Case in point, after a tense debate with my son, I found myself searching "would Donkey Kong beat the Hulk."

We've also discussed if the Avengers could defeat Father Time or if Captain American could beat infinite sadness (that was a strange discussion). My son is really into the "could X beat Y" phase of boyhood but he typically looks at it through a different lens. I usually learn something myself from our discussions.

My earliest two goals in life were to find a good woman and to have kids. I am the oldest of six and we were pretty close together timewise and both parents worked outside the home, so I learned a lot of responsibility taking care of my brothers and sisters. Everything from changing diapers to cooking to cleaning to trying to make sure they didn't burn down the place.

Unfortunately, though, having biological children is not part of my life story. We tried but had health issues that prevented it. I've always regretted this and wondered what I did wrong to not have this blessing in my life.

Now, I am a stepparent to three and they bring me a lot of joy. Two out of three accept me as another father and they typically call me first to get life advice. So, even though they aren't biological, I have been blessed to get a small taste of the pie.

The regret and feeling down about this is one of those lifelong things that I'm not sure will ever go away. Now, I have "accepted" my destiny and love being a stepfather (even though there are challenges with blended families). This has helped me to "accept" what life dealt me and to move forward with my life in a positive manner.

Mark

A difficult question, I have a child, on the one hand I am glad, but on the other hand it is the hardest job in life to bring up a child.