Today's Shortest Joke

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What is an astronaut's favorite part on a computer?
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    space bar.....
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  • Profile picture of the author DABK
    Three Irishmen walk out of a bar.


    No?






    Originally Posted by Ken Leatherman View Post

    What is an astronaut's favorite part on a computer?
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    • Profile picture of the author Odahh
      Originally Posted by DABK View Post

      Three Irishmen walk out of a bar.


      No?
      Must have been a juice bar if they where still walking.

      three Irishmen walk out of a baah in baastan , Aftah drinking to much beah and couldn't find the kaah keys.


      ( holf&$)( auto correct made that so much harder)
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  • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
    Astronauts favorite software is Desktop Pub
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  • Profile picture of the author Malaika Aun
    An astronaut's favorite part on a computer is the space bar!
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  • Profile picture of the author RMRC
    The space bar because he's throwing a party in space, can you help him planet?
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    • Profile picture of the author discrat
      Originally Posted by RMRC View Post

      The space bar because he's throwing a party in space, can you help him planet?
      Okay, Mark's nephew lol
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      Nothing to see here including a Sig so just move on :)

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  • What's ET short for?

    Bcs he gaht li'l legs.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jamell
    The space bar .
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    ............... j/k
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    Saving one dog will not change the world - but the world changes forever for that one dog
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    One secret to happiness is to let every situation be
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  • Profile picture of the author pver
    space bar
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  • Profile picture of the author SemuelGreb
    space bar surely
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  • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
    Police have just arrested two teenagers. One was eating fireworks and the other was drinking battery acid.

    Police decided to charge one and let the other one off
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    • Profile picture of the author discrat
      "Claude"
      .
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      Nothing to see here including a Sig so just move on :)

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      • Originally Posted by discrat View Post

        "Claude"
        .
        I'm more honored than you know.

        I would tend to agree if we were talking about the world's dumbest joke, or fattest joke, most oblivious joke, or most pompous joke.....

        But shortest joke?

        It's probably funnier if I don't mention...he who's name shall never be spoken.
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        • Profile picture of the author discrat
          Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post


          But shortest joke?

          It's probably funnier if I don't mention...he who's name shall never be spoken.
          I know I know, the warrior forum gnome himself , right ??
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          Nothing to see here including a Sig so just move on :)

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          • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
            Originally Posted by discrat View Post

            I know I know, the warrior forum gnome himself , right ??
            I was actually going to make the exact joke you made but knew exactly where it would lead. Hell, I wrote four follow up jokes for Mark, myself.

            That and it was an obvious on-the-nose joke from me. Figured it'd be funnier coming from someone else.
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            • Profile picture of the author discrat
              Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

              I was actually going to make the exact joke you made but knew exactly where it would lead. Hell, I wrote four follow up jokes for Mark, myself.

              That and it was an obvious on-the-nose joke from me. Figured it'd be funnier coming from someone else.
              Stick with the college football, Dan.
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              Nothing to see here including a Sig so just move on :)

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            • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
              Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

              I was actually going to make the exact joke you made but knew exactly where it would lead. Hell, I wrote four follow up jokes for Mark, myself.

              That and it was an obvious on-the-nose joke from me. Figured it'd be funnier coming from someone else.
              As soon as this thread appeared I thought of replying with the name: "Dan Riffle" But somehow, I abstained. Perhaps I thought it was too obvious.
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            • Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post


              That and it was an obvious on-the-nose joke from me. Figured it'd be funnier coming from someone else.
              Every joke is funnier coming from someone else.
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              • Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

                Every joke is funnier coming from someone else.
                K, so let's focus on yr potentially risible corpulence, Mr Nice Guy.

                Bcs a nose can only be a nameable protooberance in conjunction with its capacity so to protoob.

                My view?

                You belly flahp in here with your immensely summonable grandeur, an' invite us all to eithah suffocate or cheer.

                Thing is, if'n we can shimmy outta the way, it is real cool to ride the ripples.

                Like the Owl an' the Pussycat sailin' off in a pea green boat when they had a vacation planned for Hawaii.

                You gotta love always ridin' the ripples.

                Epicentah of all weirdsy bubbly collisions-to-be.

                Hey, but this is turnin' out to be the longest short joke evah.

                (Like that is ANY KINDA ACCOLADE, regardin' the geometric terms there presented.)

                So .. why the heck we don't gaht WIDE jokes?

                One guy walks into a bar.

                They don't gotta widen the door bcs karate.

                Or ...

                What's the diffrunce between an asteroid an' a comet?

                Hey FFS what do you care -- jus' gather behind me an' we will ride this one out.

                Or ...

                How wide is Hawaii, actshlly?

                When I plummet from beyond Venus onto the sistah, she gonna be squirtin' beach far as Mercury.

                Or ...

                Which dimension approximates to infinity fastah? Length, height, or WIDTH?

                Canya ask me again when I finished this donut?"

                Uh huh.

                Width fiends of the plannit gotta gravitate sumplace, I guess.

                An' it is to our undeniable benefit that the most gravitational widthbeest of all

                * snort *

                * sahhry ... tryin' to be objective here but I jus' came ovah all 'moshnl ... *

                * snort *

                * focus *

                * focus *

                So, yeah, two hippos walk into a bar.

                Bar guy says, we don't serve horses anymore, let alone you asshole chancahs.

                (Latah in the routine, the hippos trash the bar with their stomachs. No questions asked.)

                So, yeah, two lizards walk into a bar.

                They figure the hippos can do it, so can we.

                Sadly, nah.

                K, so six lizards walk into a bar.

                Bcs they three times as ****in' stoopid as the rignl lizards gaht noplace.

                That's when Claude skydives from outta the Caahsmaas an' squishes 'em all to death.

                Meanwhiles, them two REAL PISSED HIPPOS figurin' what they gonna do next.

                "Horse-themed humor is so yesterday," says Hippo #1.

                "K," says Hippo #2. "Let's broaden our remit."

                My noo guide to jokes, PLUMMET WITH PURPOSE, is availablyool from most stores ain't already been flattened.

                1,264 horses walk into a bar.

                "Where the hippos?"

                "Give 'em like a couple more minutes. They be here soon enough."

                Width encompasses like the hug of a crazed gorilla aftah they looked in on hippos an' figured yeah like arms don't mattah too much.

                Can I lie down now please?

                Tbh whenya can lie down an' still be the same height you are standin' up, likely you the beneficiary of WIDE HUMOR.

                Or sum kinda cult.

                Two cults walk into a bar.

                Bcs yanno that place gotta have space or why the fkrs gowin' in?

                "We too meaningful fight to in the yard."

                An' ain't yards so cute?

                Kinda when you buyin' trousahs?

                "Why if this circumference were a hole, hippos could actually fall to their doom if they happened along this way. But I am attracted to the POCKETS, not the consequences! Plus they are a steal at 40 bucks for 27 pairs."

                Thing is, whatevah happened to alla them horses an' hippos an' stuff evah walked OUTTA a bar with no joke evah bein' shed?

                For sures, they cain't evah form no impossibyool animyool pyramid.

                They spreadin' wide into our consciousness, like nuthin' at all evah appeared to us to be worthy of note.

                Width before rote.

                Dontchya think?

                Encompass before you endeavor to get pinpoint.

                Else'n yr aim likely crap.

                Thing is, what alla the horses an' hippos dowin' DON'T walk into a bar?

                Frankly, it is beyond the bounds of the conscionable an' the inconsequential.

                So, yeah, a horse walks into a bar.

                Bar guy asks, "why the long face?"

                Horse replies, "frankly, it is beyond the bounds of the conscionable an' the inconsequential. Either fulfil my needs now, or I will bite your tits off."

                Even a horse can make like no shark when the situation demands!

                Which is kinda stoopid, I guess.
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  • Profile picture of the author Moodesburn1977
    i dont know?
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  • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
    Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

    It's probably funnier if I don't mention...he who's name shall never be spoken.
    No truer words spoken, umm,..........!

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  • Profile picture of the author bulkcheapservice
    Banned
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  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    isnt it space bar?
    Of course - and has been since the second post in the thread.




    Which is kinda stoopid, I guess.

    Yup
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  • Is it Space Bar?

    That's my guess. One I just came up with right this minute, I swear. Really.

    No kidding. Honestly.
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    • Profile picture of the author lanfear63
      Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

      Is it Space Bar?

      That's my guess. One I just came up with right this minute, I swear. Really.

      No kidding. Honestly.
      Lucky guess, but this isn't rocket science.
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  • Profile picture of the author guinemojo23
    space bar.... Hahahah so funny
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    • Originally Posted by guinemojo23 View Post

      space bar.... Hahahah so funny
      Yes it is...and remember everyone....I thought of it first!

      Claude "Fragile ego" Whitacre
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  • Profile picture of the author laurencewins
    @ Kay, There are always "slow" people around who take forever to think of the same answer. Perhaps they were in the queue when brains were being given out BUT, as they had manners, they held the door open, until nothing was left but the dregs.
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    Cheers, Laurence.
    Writer/Editor/Proofreader.

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