Ever Lost A Long Term Friend?

Do you think you could apologize and ask forgiveness?

Sometimes when you think a friendship is over it's because one of you are too hard headed to admit you're wrong.

The philosopher George Santayana said: "Friendship is almost always the union of a part of one mind with the part of another; people are friends in spots."

I don't expect a friend to match my every thought or opinion. Sharing a particular interest or viewpoint or an experience in common is often enough. But also, as you say, people change - or don't change - and you find you just drift apart.

I guess you have to weigh up the pros and cons of how ending this friendship makes you feel and maybe re-evaluate what it was that kept it going for so long.

Friends may come,

And friends may go,

But forum posts,

And emailed insults,

They last forever.

And ever.

Stop being a grump,

Arguing about nothing,

And you won't have

These problems.

You are old and only talk through email when it's almost free to video or voice chat with people today.and you are far more into tech stuff than I am.

If it's not important enough that you actually talk with each other.then it's not that important .

No apologies just try to talk to each other in real time

But that's not what happened. Talking politics with friends is risky and useless. Telling friends they are 'wrong' takes it off the rails. This was on you and your friend....don't put the blame on another person who doesn't know either one of you.



I remember my uncles talking politics years and years ago. They compared candidates and would say 'what do you think about' - and then would at times disagree. However, they respected the opinion of their brothers - there were no diatribes or party lines. They could agree to disagree on some things without demanding they were 'right' or the other person was 'wrong'. Doesn't seem possible today.

This topic is so hilarious.

I am an etiquette person, I have actually read several
etiquette books over the years, and have referred to
them if I had a situation. Letitia Baldrige and others.

It has long been an etiquette rule that you don't ever
discuss politics, especially during dinner.

My husband and I were like-minded and agreed
on 98% of issues including politics.

One day, we were in the middle of a restaurant, our
nearby Applebee's, where we loved to eat baby back
ribs, which I ate with a knife and fork in case you're
wondering, I would never eat ribs with my hands.

We were sitting there waiting for our appetizers and
my husband blurts out, real loud:

"So-and-so (major national figure) is an idiot!"

I was mortified and told my husband to

"Shhhh" but he just continued

"Don't shush me, everybody knows the guy's an idiot!"

OMG!

I explained that it is bad manners to discuss politics
during dinner and he finally stopped talking about it.

The reason we aren't supposed to discuss this topic
is because it is polarizing.

As Kay said, you won't change anyone's mind.

BTW, the idiot isn't anyone who would come to mind
now because that incident happened years ago.

Take my advice - if anyone brings up anything that
might be considered political, just say that you don't
discuss politics and leave it at that.

When I was a kid, I was friends with a boy a year older than I was. After high school, we lived together in a college dorm for a year or so. We were good friend from ages 10 to about 20. Eventually I moved too far away from him to see each other,

When I was about 45, I saw him in a mall, and we started our friendship up again.

He visited me at my store several times, and stayed at our home once for a few days.

The problem was, He was basically the same 18 year old kid, even in middle age. and I wasn't.

I had forgotten what it was like when we were teenagers. He was a year older, so I followed his lead, mostly. But he was mean to girls. I mean really mean. He had no idea how to treat them. And he committed petty crimes...and was caught a few times as a peeping tom.

When I met him at the mall, he had no money, lived in a one room apartment, and lived by selling insurance and stealing. He still had never had a girl friend.

He stole some money from a good friend of mine (when we were visiting his store. My friend was just tagging along). He got drunk in a bar when I was with him, and tried to start a fight, "Just to see me in action". I told him that if he ever started a fight when I was with him, I would stand there and watch them beat him to a pulp.

He kept "borrowing" money from me, and then drinking it, or gambling it away.

One day he stopped by the store and expected that he could move in with Cheryl and me "For a few days".

I said "No" because Cheryl didn't like him, and I knew he was going to steal from us or worse. Later that day, I met him at a local bar, and gave him $100 for a hotel room (he was really drunk).

Of course, after I left, he just spent it on drinks, and slept in his car. He called me the next morning, very angry that I left him the night before. Now...he didn't have the money to pay his rent....


I had had enough. I said "Keep all the money I've given you, and never call me again". And he never did.

A few years ago, I was thinking about him, and wondered if he ever amounted to anything. I was going to call him, so I looked up his name and the city he lived in.

He committed suicide when he was 57. A few years after I dropped him.

Weird. I didn't feel bad. I was just angry that he wasted his life.

What I said was it is on you AND your friend....one or the other or both. I may have read your comment wrong but you seemed to be blaming a third party.



Both people in a friendship have to be accepting of the other...if one fails to respect the right of a friend to have a differing opinion...the balance of friendship is quickly gone. Friends don't have to agree - they can loudly disagree but if they take it too far, they are no longer a friend.



I've been known to walk out of a room more than once when people (on both sides of an issue) were trying to force me to give an opinion on a political issue. Yes, I have an opinion - No, it's not their business what my opinion is.

...and life experiences. We don't stay the same and sometimes the changes go in directions that mean we aren't as compatible as we were years ago.

yeah I did, it was sad and maybe there was blame to go around.


the best way to deal with such petty crises is to diss them on internet forums after the fact in front of relative strangers.


take that long term friend! feel my righteous wrath while crazy cat ladies agree with me and not you!!!!!

I had a friendship for 2 years, but it was so close that I was closer to this friend than to my childhood friend. It all ended at one point because of a petty quarrel. The next day I was moving to another city and we didn't communicate anymore.

Now a year has passed. It seems to me that this is fate. As if with the move I closed all the cases I had to close. With this friend, we have different paths in life. Now I recall our friendship fondly, but I don't regret the end of our communication. And there is no need to regret at all. One thing comes, another goes. This is the essence of life.

hasn't happened to me.
You should try to work it out, even if it seems impossible.
I can understand that you had solid foundations in your friendship and I don't think that these kinds of relationships vanish so easily.
Give your self some time to assess what you did wrong, and you maybe feel the need to communicate again

Prahblem I gaht with muh bestie Amy is what happins when the Apocalypse drahps.

We don punchy mittens.

We don smoochie.

We figure we ain't gaht a cloo.

"So, you live an' I DON'T!"

"The **** is that? You sayin' I responsible?"

Ha ha -- so we argued our potesnshl destucktion out sooo many times.

An' mostly it was bcs frickin' nuthin'.

Tiny misundahstandings btween longtime serial huggahs.

An' I would want this kinda livin' relayshnship always.

Beautiful diffrence meets communal sameness no island would evah delivah.

("FFS, that is such a bunch of Sagittarian shit, you should be ashamed of yourself!!!")

Aw, yeah -- but then we adventyoore out on mortal brutality an' speculayschwaahn togehtah.

An' we ain't killed neithah of us yet.

So, yeah, mebbe the Apocalypse always been imminent.

But you gotta figure it made with less sneaksy terms.

"So: I am sharing a disenfranchised hellhole with YOU, simply because we go way back beyond when we lit our own farts together on your godamn birthday!"

"Aries bitch!"

"Sajjo cunnyhole!"

Moral of the story?

Dialog roolz.

In life, in aftahlife, plus also presumption.

Hey, I just lost a dear friend of mine. We had beautiful time for almost ten years as good friends. However, I had some drama in my life (romantic relationships related) that I did not want to share with anyone. She found out by rumours and became super mad and did not communicate about this with me so I did not have a chance to explain my position. We spent little time last year together so probably a mixture of distance and secrets ended it. I asked for an explanation from her since she became cold all summer and then I had a breakup text saying I have changed and became a different person. It hurt, I still miss her, but I know universe does no mistakes.

I lost a very good friend of mine in Sept 2023 she was killed by a drunk driver and honestly she was the best friend I had ever had and was more loyal then freinds i have had since I was a child in 2022 I lost my best child hood freind to drug over dose was not able to say good bye so I did a ballon realease for her when I was sex trafficked back in 2012 she was the one looking for me the hardest now the friend I just spoke about I met her in jail sitting on a prostitution charge why because I went back to the life from feeling un supported about my trauma from my trafficking in the first place now in Sept 2024 my daughter that was born from my trafficking that I placed with my sister in law in brother when she was 5 months old now this will top it off my sister in law bad mouthed me after minipulating me into giving her my child made all kinds of go fund me posts to adopt her and then again in 2022 to move in to a new place because she was given a 3 month eviction to move from a home she paid no bills at due to her brother in law passing she spoke about how I was a un safe mother even though I have raised my other children who I have no who are completely safe and never been hurt including my now 19 year old daugher now she is 12 years old and my sister in law passed away December of 2023 of cancer she died about 4 weeks after she found out i didnt know she had it I was able to take my daughter alot from 2018 to about 2022 and it stoped well come to find out she was sending my daughter to my child hood freinds home my mother raised this freind because his parents were never there so I am almost 40 now and I met him when was 5 years old so by 2025 I wish nothing but the worse for the man to me hes dead why because he sexually assaulted my daughter funny how i was bad mouthed by her all them years but yet my daughter got harmed in the worst way with her under her care now the county were she lives right now is begging me to take her back with me and she was never adopted because the funds my sister in law raised were used for other things so its like she used my daughter as a pawn to be lazy and not work but iam gonna stop right now but this is the truth I really have no freinds anymore just my kids so i really just stick to myself ai am now opening up to find possitive freinds