The 7 Foot Snake in My Video Cabinet

YanMei and I were woken up at 7am this morning by my 8 year old daughter, Katie-Grace banging on the door.

"Daddy - I just saw a tiny snake in the video cabinet"

I thought to myself: "Tiny snake? I can handle that..."

I started to move the cabinet and there it was... at least 7 foot long.

Now, I had armed myself with a spade and so struck out (I later learned I had broken its back) did you know that even with a broken back, a 7 foot snake can move like grease lightening?

Well, things went from bad to worse. It shot past me and went into my 77 year old diabetic Mothers room. She is diabetic and needed her insulin.

But... now we had an injured and possibly angry and deadly snake in the room and it went... you guessed it - under my Mum's bed.

SIDEBAR: In case you didn't know, Australia has some of the most deadly snakes on the earth...

So I decided to call the police. They were about as helpful as a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.

"Strewth mate! a snake eh? Well we can't help you there mate- suggest that you try and find a snake handler in the Yellow Pages..."

Now, remember I mentioned my Mum was diabetic? Well she was now 60 minutes overdue for her insulin and the situation is getting desperate. Ever tried finding a snake handler at 7am in the morning the day after new years?

It ISN'T easy.

Finally though, I tracked one down and 20 minutes later there SHE was standing outside the now closed bedroom door.

I bravely stood in the kitchen (shovel in hand) whilst YanMei and Katie hid on the bed in our room.

10 minutes later I hear "Crikey! it's HUGE!" followed by "Hey mate - wanna see the snake?"

She had caught it and popped it in a bag.

It was a miracle that it never bit Katie when she reached into the cabinet to get a DVD.

I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief and as the snake handler drove off into the morning sunshine, reflected that certain situations require expert help...