For My Ladies... You'll Laugh!

by k0zm0zs0ul

Posted: 14 years ago 21 replies

OFF TOPIC

OK, guys might find this funny too. This landed in my inbox, and felt the urge to share.

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 ; program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!
Tech Support

Warm regards,
Cori Padgett

#ladies #laugh #youl

Zeus66 14 years ago

Too many customer complaints about Husband 1.0 often leads that program to initiate a stealth program (Affair 1.0). Heh.
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cbright 14 years ago

hilarious!!! thanks for the share
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k0zm0zs0ul 14 years ago

LMAO....True Dat! Touche my friend. Affair 1.0 often leads to a system crash in which woman initiates program operation Louisville Slugger.
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Michael Mayo 14 years ago

Did someone call for a Louisville Slugger.

~*MM*~
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HeySal 14 years ago

I think I'll just wait until they get the bugs worked out of the aps.
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- k0zm0zs0ul 14 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by HeySal
  
  I think I'll just wait until they get the bugs worked out of the aps.
  
  Heee...somehow I have the feeling you'll be waiting indefinitely. LOL Boys will be boys and all that, I think if the software is still experiencing problems after all the years of upgrades and improvements, it will likely never be fully functioning!
  
  C
  
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- Karen Blundell 14 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by HeySal
  
  I think I'll just wait until they get the bugs worked out of the aps.
  
  LMAO! yeah, I don't blame you :p
  
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k0zm0zs0ul 14 years ago

Woops. Sorry mods, thanks for moving me. lol Forgot about the off-topic section.
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WD Mino

14 years ago

Husband 1.0 only functions properly on respect and honor app 3.7 needed 9.2 and bj 1.6:p if operating system malfunctions please use the restart function entering foot in balls 7.4 This Operating system currently only runs On a PC -Prime Cooking 4.8 Remove beer 1.6 malfunctions will occur in operating system such as instant @hole in a can viral attack.

If Husband 1.0 does not reboot properly try swift smack 1.8 perfect for the attention grabbing headlines needed. Solidify repair with I love you 4.9 and restart husband 1.0 if husband 1.0 continues to malfunction use the built in recycle program out to curb 4.9 this should only be used if affair 1.0 is inserted into main husband 1.0 operating system.

Boyfriend 5.0 is then recommended with future upgrade option of husband 5 star winner 9.8 operating system. this will help ensure boyfriend 5.0 becomes husband 9.8 with all of boyfriend 5.0 features plus upgraded jewelry,flowers and even anniversary 5.6

Thanks you for choosing Husband soft your all in one marital solution.
note:this email address is not monitored if you need to contact us again please use our helpdesk located at husbandsoft.com/support
Sincerey Husbandsoft Tech Support

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k0zm0zs0ul

14 years ago

Originally Posted by WD Mino

LMAO... lordy, I think I just need to trade in my model for Woman 5.0! Husband 1.0 sounds like a virus.

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CDarklock 14 years ago

There are certain competing systems to Husband 1.0 which come from the Open Sorts community. They run many of the same applications as Husband 1.0, without losing the functionality of Boyfriend 5.0, and most will even allow running multiple versions of Husband and Boyfriend applications all at the same time.
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ShanghaiTours

14 years ago

Sooo funny! Thanks for sharing.

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Leanne King

14 years ago

Hey Cori, I'm really worried now about my future upgrade to Husband 1.0. I've been trying Boyfriend 5.0 for 10 years and sadly the jewellery and flowers apps fails to load

I had hoped that an upgrade to Husband 1.0 would cure that problem! I've tried repetitively downloading Tears and keep getting a virus app called TV.

Maybe I should reconsider this upgrade as Boyfriend already has Cooking and Housecleaning installed - they don't work perfectly but figure that is due to the influence of Mother In Law running in the background and taking up a lot of memory storage.

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k0zm0zs0ul

14 years ago

Originally Posted by Leanne King

Hey Cori, I'm really worried now about my future upgrade to Husband 1.0. I've been trying Boyfriend 5.0 for 10 years and sadly the jewellery and flowers apps fails to load

LMAO!!! I concur.. reconsidering the upgrade to a possible virus or improperly functioning model when you already have a working version in place (despite minor bugs) is the best course of action.

I currently own and operate Boyfriend 5.0 and it works for me. Apps Cooking and Housecleaning are installed and only occasionally malfunction. In addition, apps Night on the Town happen fairly regularly and I'm worried upgrading to Husband 1.0 would cause a serious loss in mobility in my fun apps such as Night on the Town.

Just sayin'.

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KenThompson 14 years ago

Perpetual looping download of personal settings.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......

Please do not interrupt.

Ken
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Kelly Verge 14 years ago

If Husband 1.0 initiates Affair 1.0 (or later versions), you may start seeing the following error message:

The source of the problem can often be found by bringing up a command line and running CHKDSK.
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- Kay King 14 years ago
  
  Sal -
  
  I agree - I'll wait for the final version.
  
  In my experience, there's too much re-booting and re-installing involved:p
  
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myeanne 14 years ago

lol! thanks for bumping this old thread.

Just saw this one now and it's really cool. I would share this to my bf.
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Andie 14 years ago

Frankly, I've chucked the entire Husband system after several serious data errors and system failures. I find the FWB operating system to be much easier to work with!! overall no issues of those pesky viruses or background programs sucking the life from the performance levels.
Seriously doubt the developers will Ever get the Husband system up to expectations anytime soon no matter what bells and whistles they add on. I think it is more of a bait and switch conspiracy than folks realize :p

{for those who may not be aware the FWB sys is aka Friends w/benefits}

A
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- Kay King 14 years ago
  
  Good one, Andie. FWB is definitely easier to install and maintain.
  
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  Signature
  
  Saving one dog will not change the world - but the world changes forever for that one dog
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  Dear April: I don't want any trouble from you.
  January was long, February was iffy, March was a freaking dumpster fire.
  So sit down, be quiet, and don't touch anything.
  
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For My Ladies... You'll Laugh!

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