I got some really sad news last night

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I had a buddy I grew up with, his house was always the place where everyone would meet up. It was one of those houses where you never knocked when you came in, they just expected you to walk in because you're there so much. I grew up with this guy and his brothers. His dad and my dad sort of worked together but knew each other.

His dad and mom were 70. They live in Ohio. Apparently they both were in the beginning stages of alzheimers, mom was a little further along than dad. They had a really nice house. A big place, sort of set back off the road so they didnt have any neighbors real close. 2 nights ago his mom went outside, fell down the stairs to the back deck and got hurt. His dad heard this, and went outside, locking himself outside. It was less than 20 deg. out. His mom apparently died from the fall, dad froze to death.

Very sad.
  • Profile picture of the author Ron Kerr
    Hi Michael,

    This is a sad tale.

    It brings to mind an extraordinary set of circumstances from last year that began with the death of the birth mother of my wife. She was 93 and had Alzheimers.

    I say birth mother as my wife was put up for adoption at birth as her birth mother was divorced and did not think she could care for her and her other two children.

    Luckily my wife was re-united with her birth mother around 26 yeas ago, but she was never made known to her brother and sister.

    We saw the death notice in the paper and my wife decided to ring her brother, as her birth mother had always said that she would leave a note to her children, telling them about my wife.

    Probably because of the Alzheimers, that note didn't exist and the brother was knocked off his feet to learn he had another sister. His other sister, who had flown from interstate for the funeral, also could not believe it. They did a lot of digging for information and luckily found a record of us in the birth mother's things and invited us to get together before the funeral.

    Everything went really well and the similarities between people who had never met were extraordinary. The brother had a son with the same given name as our son and who worked in the same profession. The sister was married to a guy in the I.T. industry, in which I have worked for over 20 years and so on and so on. And I saw proof that nature won over in this case, as my wife is nothing like her adoptive parents and very much like her blood family.

    So from a death, an expanded family group has developed and everyone is happy about it. My children never had aunts or cousins before, my wife now had a brother and sister and I had in-laws. And the great thing is that they are all nice people.

    This in no ways diminishes the sadness of the event that Michael has described, but I thought it might bring some happiness to some of you.

    Best Wishes,
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    • Profile picture of the author Steven Wagenheim
      Michael, I'm really sorry to hear this. I know how hard it is to lose people
      we're close to. And this is a sad way to go indeed.

      My sympathies to you and their family.
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        • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
          I'm very sorry for your loss, Michael!

          As having lost my mom at the age of 19 in a car accident and my best friend in the world, my dad, not too long ago, and with my soon to be 92 year old grandmother in ICU at this very moment, I can relate to you!

          My heart goes out to you, and hey, if you want to talk, just PM me!

          That's what friends are for!

          Know you're in my prayers,
          Terra
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  • Profile picture of the author octobergal
    I just heard about this story today, such a sad situation. Very sorry, my heart goes out to you, your friend and his family.
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  • Profile picture of the author seasoned
    Michael,

    I'm sorry to hear that. I hope your friend is doing ok after this ordeal.

    My mother seems to be getting alzheimers, and I just found out yesterday that an aunt has alzheimers. Both are probably close to 80. Man, somebody needs to get on this. There should NOT be so many around with alzheimers, so the obvious implication is it is environmental(food, water, air, etc...).

    I'm almost happy I split my lip earlier, because there was apparently no indication of alzheimers yet at least. But alzheimers is degenerative and more likely to happen over time. I don't think 70 year olds get it because they are 70 years old, and suddenly get it, but because they have lived for 70 years to get enough damage that it shows up. Some even get it in their 40s. Again though, they believe that starts more in the mid 30s.

    Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author Patrician
    Michael, thanks for sharing a very sad but so romantic story. Man, it is one for the books.

    Sorry for your loss.

    Thank God they went together - what a blessing - imagine what the survivor would be feeling without their best friend.

    Imagine that the last thing the old guy did on this earth was for her. He lived and died for her.

    Wow. It is just astounding. She was so blessed both in life and death.



    I feel like crying right now and didn't even know them.
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  • Profile picture of the author vanhoogy
    So sorry to hear about your loss... bummer. So sad....SVH Will pray for the family!
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      Steven -

      Alzheimers has been around a long time - it just didn't have a name and wasn't considered a disease. People would say someone was "getting senile" or "doty" to excuse the symptoms in the elderly. I remember as a child it was normal for someone to say their elderly parent was "getting old and senile" or "she's gotten forgetful". Then it was considered a not unusual sign of aging.

      kay
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      • Profile picture of the author Kay King
        Michael -

        That is such a sad ending to two long lives. How terrible.




        Ron -

        How wonderful to find a new family you've never met! Amazing how many similarities there are.
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      • Profile picture of the author seasoned
        Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

        Steven -

        Alzheimers has been around a long time - it just didn't have a name and wasn't considered a disease. People would say someone was "getting senile" or "doty" to excuse the symptoms in the elderly. I remember as a child it was normal for someone to say their elderly parent was "getting old and senile" or "she's gotten forgetful". Then it was considered a not unusual sign of aging.

        kay
        Well, I know it didn't start this decade, etc... HECK, REAGAN had it. Wikipedia says it was first described in 1906. But Alzheimers has unique symptoms, and it DOES seem to be getting pretty popular, look at this thread HERE!

        Steve
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        • Profile picture of the author Leedir
          Michael, sorry for your loss.

          Ron, I am happy that you found a family to share more love and warmth and caring.

          To all of you having to deal with death or illness, I will pray for you.

          I am lucky to be in midst of all this camaraderie and fellowship. Its so good to see you all sharing in each other's difficult moments.
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  • Profile picture of the author rajput441
    This is really a very sad story. I am sorry for your loss, I know how it feels to lose someone that is close to you. I feel sorry for your friend too. My thoughts and prayers are with you and the whole family.
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Michael, you're a dickhead - but you're our dickhead and I hate to see ya hurting, buddy. My sincerest sympathy to you and your friend and his surviving family.

    They lived together and transcended "death do us part" - they crossed the divide into eternity together..........and you shall all meet again....
    But don't be in a hurry - they will be patient.
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  • Profile picture of the author garyv
    Wow, what an extremely bitter-sweet ending. It's got to be very hard to lose two at the same time. But there must be at least a little consolation in knowing that they're still together. They've managed to bypass the age old fear that every aging couple has. If my wife goes first, it will be very hard on me - and vice versa.

    Thanks for sharing this. I pray that you'll find increasing peace in the days ahead.
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    • Profile picture of the author Karen Blundell
      Michael, please accept my condolences for your loss of really good friends and extended family...

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  • Profile picture of the author sloanjim
    it's all the news in the UK today. Saying it's a much bigger problem than people believe it to be...I guess we are now lving longer so it's going to become a bigger problem. Is there anythign we can do to lesson the odds?
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  • Profile picture of the author sloanjim
    Steve...it's been around forever but back in the cave man days we all died well before this ever became a problem (mid 30s was old age then) as our bodies alst longer 70+..we now start seeing the mind/brain ages badly in some cases....to say it is only been around since 1906.......LOL

    Well, I know it didn't start this decade, etc... HECK, REAGAN had it. Wikipedia says it was first described in 1906. But Alzheimers has unique symptoms, and it DOES seem to be getting pretty popular, look at this thread HERE!

    Steve
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    • Profile picture of the author seasoned
      Originally Posted by sloanjim View Post

      Steve...it's been around forever but back in the cave man days we all died well before this ever became a problem (mid 30s was old age then) as our bodies alst longer 70+..we now start seeing the mind/brain ages badly in some cases....to say it is only been around since 1906.......LOL
      I never said it has been around since 1906! I said it was first DESCRIBED then. Not everyone gets it! Even people over 100 years old may not have it! And not everyone that has senility has it. It is a PECULIAR type of senility. So you just want to have EVERY disease in the book ERRONEOUSLY attributed to old age when you get old? EVEN meeting friends that are OLDER than you and in somewhat GOOD health, you will attribute your failings simply to old age? WOW!

      Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author sloanjim
    are you kidding me? They both die a slow death in the freezing cold (who knows how muh pain and how long it took) and it's ROMANTIC? I guess you beleived the Titanic was a love story?

    sad but so romantic story. Man, it is one for the books
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    • Profile picture of the author seasoned
      Originally Posted by sloanjim View Post

      are you kidding me? They both die a slow death in the freezing cold (who knows how muh pain and how long it took) and it's ROMANTIC? I guess you beleived the Titanic was a love story?
      She was probably trying to console him. The mother apparently died quickly. The father apparently wasn't too lucid, because he COULD have simply broke a window, gotten in, and sealed the window somewhat. Homes are generally NOT very secure. Heck, even going into a garage would help.

      Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author nickrees
    Hello Michael, My sympathies to the Family & of course you, Alzheimers is such a cruel condition, in one way it is a sad & beautiful story, they lived & died together,may they rest in peace. nickrees
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