Do you think dating should be allowed in the workplace?

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Do you think dating a coworker is okay?

I completely understand why supervisor/employee should definitely not be allowed, but if they're on the same level...

Your thoughts?

(Note: This scenario does NOT apply to me. I'm genuinely curious.)
  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    It's up to the employer - not a right or wrong thing.

    I think it's risky as relationships that don't last can cause problems in the workplace - and relationships that are burning bright can cause problems, too.

    But that's not to say I haven't done it
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  • Profile picture of the author Neil Morgan
    I once managed someone who was dating my boss. I was, ahem, in the middle, so to speak.

    They're married now and that's fantastic but it was very awkward at the time.
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      The one time I did it was an unusual situation - he was a doctoral student and I was assistant to the head of the research lab. We worked together every day and the understanding we had was that no one at work would know.

      We got very good at keeping it a secret - and had been married four months before anyone figured it out:p
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  • Profile picture of the author KenThompson
    Company policies - 0

    Mother nature - 1

    Doesn't really matter what we think.
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  • Profile picture of the author mattpauker12
    Cant say.. It depends on the atmosphere of the work place.
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  • Profile picture of the author Patrician
    Yes I agree with the reasons people say No.

    If something goes wrong with the relationship it can get sticky.

    ... and it is icky to feel like a 'third wheel' on somebody else's date for 8 hours a day. It's Icky.

    The Manager/underling config should definitely be illegal on so many levels - just like nepotism. Equal rights ya know, and people should not receive preferential treatment - everything should be on equal footing where only the quality of your work dictates how far you go (no pun intended).

    For equals - one should transfer to another department.

    There is lots to be said about 'don't mix business and pleasure' - again on many levels.
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  • Profile picture of the author CDarklock
    Originally Posted by moneysoapbox View Post

    Do you think dating a coworker is okay?

    I completely understand why supervisor/employee should definitely not be allowed, but if they're on the same level...

    Your thoughts?
    Every single year, Cosmopolitan magazine runs a reader survey.

    And every single year, the overwhelming winner for "best place to meet men" is... "the office."

    There is a reason for this. Because of sexual harassment laws and employer policies, the office is the one place that men are required to leave the women alone.

    So while I believe it's just fine to date a co-worker (even across supervisory lines), I believe it is absolutely essential that it NOT be okay to pursue a relationship with a co-worker IN the office.

    Women are smart enough to find a way around this by meeting someone outside work in a non-stalkery way. Men... well, put it this way. If I could chat up girls in the office, I'd never get any work done.
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  • Profile picture of the author vivekg
    Why should there be any restrictions? Do we put restrictions on our feelings? No! I mean if you have feelings for some one, its better to express it out, otherwise I can assure you he or she wont be able to concentrate on the work either.
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    • Profile picture of the author JohnnyThompson
      What are the statistics like? I have heard that 60% of people who marry, met at work. So much for policy. People cant control who they meet and have chemistry with.
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    • Profile picture of the author The 13th Warrior
      Fishing off the Company pier is not a good idea if you like your job and plan to have a future there.

      The " it turned out good or wonderful" stories are exceptions to the rule and is not a realistic measuring stick to go by of the typical and average DISASTERS that normally is the result of such encounters , everyday.

      Leave the Cinderella stories to the Harlequin romance writers, T.V. soaps and Hallmark card writers.

      One goes to work TO WORK, that's why it's called work.

      It's a place to go to earn money to pay for a roof over your head out of the snow and eat everyday, NOT a subsidiary or 2nd option of a Bar scene or hunting ground for "chance encounters" for fun.....its not a game.

      It's much worse for men, eazzzzzzzzzzy prey for lawsuits..., "sexual harrassment" bait, can cost you dearly and affect your record , pocketbook and future., BUT, if you are a guy AND a risk-taking gambler, have at it.

      Just because one hears of happy-ever-after stories does not mean its going to happen to you..., but if you think you have nothing to lose, job, money, lawsuits, lawyers, wasted time, references, future prospects, higher positions, drama, restraining orders, gossip that gets to the boss, court, answering human resource reports/charges and just general uncomfortableness and awkwardness, then by all means, roll those dice, man.

      The 13th Warrior
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  • Profile picture of the author Denise Ashurst
    Company policies - 0

    Mother nature - 1

    Doesn't really matter what we think
    (Ken)
    What are the statistics like? I have heard that 60% of people who marry, met at work. So much for policy. People cant control who they meet and have chemistry with.
    (JohnnyT)

    The stats do bear it out at least in the UK and the research I read (which could have been Cosmo a long time ago, so take it or leave it) but I heard 1 in 4 marriages come from workplace liaison dangereuses!

    Personal experience....it's rubbish unless you work in different buildings maybe! My partner became my boss then went off with someone else in the office - that was the end of my short term contract in both senses! ; S

    Ya can't help how ya feel...
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      There is a reason for this. Because of sexual harassment laws and employer policies, the office is the one place that men are required to leave the women alone.
      That's a really good point. You have the opportunity to get to know someone without doing the song and dance "let me tell you who I am". You get to know how "real" they are and their mannerisms without trying.

      If the employer prohibits it, it's a dumb risk to take. If you can keep it professional at work and there's no rule about it, no problem.

      If you're one lovesick puppy and just can't resist cooing - it's really disgusting to co-workers (and doesn't make you look too bright to supervisors). I've noticed the office love affairs that are the most obvious are the ones that don't last long.
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      Saving one dog will not change the world - but the world changes forever for that one dog
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Motley
    I can say that I have never had a scenario where i'm dating at work workout right.

    You're always around each other, you get tired of looking at the other person because you see them when you go home, you see them when you go to work and when you both get tired of each other and it finally goes to crap, now you have to work with that person every day.

    You dont crap where you eat. You dont dip your pen in the company inkwell.

    These sayings didnt get started and be used for so long on accident.
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Do you think dating should be allowed in the workplace?
    Absolutely not. You should schedule all dates for after work.
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    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
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    • Profile picture of the author Silas Hart
      Might as well, making it a taboo for coworkers to date makes it more likely they will. However, forcing rules of 'no dating co-workers' will show which workers are more logical, and which ones are more emotional.
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      • Profile picture of the author HeySal
        Originally Posted by FaJeeb View Post

        Might as well, making it a taboo for coworkers to date makes it more likely they will. However, forcing rules of 'no dating co-workers' will show which workers are more logical, and which ones are more emotional.
        I don't go to work to be given psychology testing. I go to work to fulfill a specific function. My logical disposition should be apparent in my methods of fulfilling the function for which I am paid. I do not expect a company to interfere or have input into portions of my life for which I am not being paid - or have no reason to expect public scrutiny to factor in - such as teaching or politics.

        The company, however, has a right to expect my choices of personal association to not interfere with getting my responsibilities accomplished and to do so without causing distracting drama.

        I wouldn't be part of a company who insists on "non-fraternization" policies, which also carry over to friendships as well as more intimate relationships.
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        Sal
        When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
        Beyond the Path

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  • Profile picture of the author braddeltone
    Originally Posted by moneysoapbox View Post

    Do you think dating a coworker is okay?
    but if they're on the same level...
    Your thoughts?
    (Note: This scenario does NOT apply to me. I'm genuinely curious.)
    hey Emily,
    dating a coworker will be cool.
    however, you already know that there are good days n bad.
    and you have to put up with your significant other
    at work every day.

    the worst of this is when things go south.
    and one of them decide to stop the relationship.
    ohhhh. this is awful
    now, you have to see and work with him every single day.
    this would be close to hell on earth. or kinda.

    hope this helps,

    Brad
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    • Profile picture of the author Emily Meeks
      Originally Posted by braddeltone View Post

      hey Emily,
      dating a coworker will be cool.
      however, you already know that there are good days n bad.
      and you have to put up with your significant other
      at work every day.

      the worst of this is when things go south.
      and one of them decide to stop the relationship.
      ohhhh. this is awful
      now, you have to see and work with him every single day.
      this would be close to hell on earth. or kinda.

      hope this helps,

      Brad
      Haha yeah. Fortunately my boyfriend and I don't work in the same place.

      Back in high school I tried to help him out though by recommending him to my then-manager (after we'd already been together awhile). Once word got around though, the petty gossip got really annoying, and while neither of us were fired, our manager made sure our schedules never overlapped. Needless to say, neither of us work there anymore >

      However, two supervisors at my new job got fired for dating... apparently it was a well-known fact for awhile, then home office decided to do something about it. I didn't really get to know them, but apparently they were really nice so this was sad news for a lot of people.
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      • Profile picture of the author braddeltone
        Originally Posted by moneysoapbox View Post

        Haha yeah. Fortunately my boyfriend and I don't work in the same place.

        Back in high school I tried to help him out though by recommending him to my then-manager (after we'd already been together awhile). Once word got around though, the petty gossip got really annoying, and while neither of us were fired, our manager made sure our schedules never overlapped. Needless to say, neither of us work there anymore >
        gossip, gossip, gets really annoying.

        good for you that are enjoying separate jobs.

        be well,

        Brad
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  • Profile picture of the author Mr. Enthusiastic
    If Internet Marketing warriors date, they could post their love letters here and get great tips about better bullet points, headlines, and calls to action... uh oh!
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    • Profile picture of the author RWilt
      I think it really depends on what kind of employment it is and the jobs you hold.

      My wife and I met at work and started dating then... amusement park, but it was still the workplace.
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  • Profile picture of the author cormierl20
    this kind of relationship is really prohibited in any company..especially if its between 2 persons with different positions in the workplace..one with a higher position, and the other with a lower position..the reason for this is to avoid employees from getting biased treatments....
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  • Profile picture of the author jedz
    Banned
    Nah. This is really NO for me.

    I've been in this situation and really affects my job. well, but it still depends on the situation. our relationship isn't that good from the very start so I think that's the main reason why it shouldn't take that long..
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  • Profile picture of the author HaplinJ
    People do it all the time, I don't think it is right. If you are going to do it you should keep it a secret
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  • Profile picture of the author SeanStuart
    dating and relationship is oke wherever it is as long it involved no cheating,or affair,and as far the date and romance not happen at office hours,business owner should respect that event
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