OT Forum New Rule...Only Threads On Amoebas Allowed

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From here on in, there is a new OT forum rule.

The only threads you area allowed to start are ones that involve amoebas.

The reason?

Because amoebas are tiny one celled organisms that can't possibly offend
anybody or anything.

They are at the very bottom of the ecological chain.

Hell...I've never even seen an amoeba outside of my biology class back in
1972

Anyway, here is my contribution to the new OT amoeba forum.

Q: Why don't amoebas make great mathematicians?

A: Because they have to divide to multiply.

Ba-da-boom

Those of you who found that joke offensive, my suggestion to you is you
need to get a life.

Maybe your local amoeba has one you can borrow.

** DISCLAIMER ** For those of you with no humor who can't see that this
whole thread is a joke...it's a joke.
  • Profile picture of the author Michael Motley
    just think how the amoebas will feel
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    • Profile picture of the author ThomM
      My pet Amoeba got so mad at this that he split:rolleyes:
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      Life: Nature's way of keeping meat fresh
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      • Profile picture of the author Steven Wagenheim
        Originally Posted by ThomM View Post

        My pet Amoeba got so mad at this that he split:rolleyes:
        LMAO....I love it!
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        • Profile picture of the author ThomM
          Originally Posted by Steven Wagenheim View Post

          LMAO....I love it!
          I know, not bad for just waking up and not having any coffee yet, even if I do say so myself
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          Life: Nature's way of keeping meat fresh
          Getting old ain't for sissy's
          As you are I was, as I am you will be
          You can't fix stupid, but you can always out smart it.

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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      I don't care what you say, I am not going to expose my sensitive amoebas (amoebi?) to this rugged forum.

      They might see *$#@# that would offend their tiny sensibilities and ruin them for life (how long do they live, anyway?).

      kay
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      • Profile picture of the author Steven Wagenheim
        Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

        I don't care what you say, I am not going to expose my sensitive amoebas (amoebi?) to this rugged forum.

        They might see *$#@# that would offend their tiny sensibilities and ruin them for life (how long do they live, anyway?).

        kay
        The life span of an amoeba is 1 to 2 days.
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        • Profile picture of the author Paul Myers
          Steven,
          The life span of an amoeba is 1 to 2 days.
          In one sense, that's true. In another sense, they're immortal. Every amoeba that exists today has a continuous shared existence and identity with the very first amoeba on the planet.

          It/They was/were here before us, and will be here after we've wiped ourselves out. It/They is/are in billions of places at the same time.

          If you don't think I could turn this into a religious discussion based on that, well...

          So much for that theory.


          Paul
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          • Profile picture of the author Steven Wagenheim
            Originally Posted by Paul Myers View Post

            Steven,In one sense, that's true. In another sense, they're immortal. Every amoeba that exists today has a continuous shared existence and identity with the very first amoeba on the planet.

            It/They was/were here before us, and will be here after we've wiped ourselves out. It/They is/are in billions of places at the same time.

            If you don't think I could turn this into a religious discussion based on that, well...

            So much for that theory.


            Paul
            Leave it to Paul Myers to find the loophole.

            You are actually technically correct on this matter.

            As for religion...I'm not touching that one with a 2 day old amoeba.
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            • Profile picture of the author Killer Joe
              I knew those things had a split personality...:rolleyes:

              KJ
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            • Profile picture of the author Paul Myers
              Steven,
              You are actually technically correct on this matter.
              Of course. That's why it works.

              A new statement of an old observation:

              "There is no subject, no matter how seemingly innocent and obscure, that cannot be twisted into a political or religious argument by a sufficiently determined individual."


              Paul
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              • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
                Originally Posted by Paul Myers View Post

                "There is no subject, no matter how seemingly innocent and obscure, that cannot be twisted into a political or religious argument by a sufficiently determined individual."Paul
                Typical of your political and religious persuasion to say something like that.

                Hmm, I guess you're right.
                Signature
                Why do garden gnomes smell so bad?
                So that blind people can hate them as well.
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              • Profile picture of the author HeySal
                Originally Posted by Paul Myers View Post

                A new statement of an old observation:

                "There is no subject, no matter how seemingly innocent and obscure, that cannot be twisted into a political or religious argument by a sufficiently determined individual."


                Paul
                Yeah I like that one - saw it before in Mein Kampf or on C-span one of the two:p:rolleyes:
                Signature

                Sal
                When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
                Beyond the Path

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                • Profile picture of the author Paul Myers
                  Typical of your political and religious persuasion to say something like that.
                  Yeah I like that one - saw it before in Mein Kampf or on C-span one of the two
                  Amateurs.

                  Name-calling is no substitute for creatively redefining the Universe.


                  Paul
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                  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
                    Originally Posted by Paul Myers View Post

                    Amateurs.

                    Name-calling is no substitute for creatively redefining the Universe.


                    Paul
                    Damn right. Name calling is much more fun.
                    Signature
                    Why do garden gnomes smell so bad?
                    So that blind people can hate them as well.
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                  • Profile picture of the author Steven Wagenheim
                    Originally Posted by Paul Myers View Post

                    Amateurs.

                    Name-calling is no substitute for creatively redefining the Universe.


                    Paul
                    I'd like to creatively redefine reality TV...like get rid of it completely.

                    When you think of a solution for that plague on society Paul, please let me
                    know because they're taking over my boob tube.
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                    • Profile picture of the author Paul Myers
                      Steven,
                      I'd like to creatively redefine reality TV...like get rid of it completely.

                      When you think of a solution for that plague on society Paul, please let me
                      know because they're taking over my boob tube.
                      Do your arteries harden because your butcher sells red meat?


                      Paul
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                      • Profile picture of the author ThomM
                        Originally Posted by Paul Myers View Post

                        Steven,Do your arteries harden because your butcher sells red meat?


                        Paul
                        Speaking of which, I have the reddest, sweet looking, inside skirt steak marinating right now.
                        I had to split it so it would fit in the marinate pan:rolleyes:
                        Signature

                        Life: Nature's way of keeping meat fresh
                        Getting old ain't for sissy's
                        As you are I was, as I am you will be
                        You can't fix stupid, but you can always out smart it.

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                      • Profile picture of the author Steven Wagenheim
                        Originally Posted by Paul Myers View Post

                        Steven,Do your arteries harden because your butcher sells red meat?


                        Paul
                        No, but there is less and less fish for me to eat every year.
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                        • Profile picture of the author Killer Joe
                          Originally Posted by Steven Wagenheim View Post

                          No, but there is less and less fish for me to eat every year.
                          What did the blind man say when he walked by the fish market?

                          "Good afternoon, ladies!"

                          ...Not sure if there is a connection here...

                          KJ
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                        • Profile picture of the author Paul Myers
                          Steven,
                          No, but there is less and less fish for me to eat every year.
                          Yeah. With a typical cable system, it has to be down to 400 or 500 pounds available every day. It's certainly a hardship.

                          Perhaps you might try plant-based alternatives. I hear they have these cool sandwichy-looking things out now made of something called "paper."


                          Paul
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  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
    Hmmm.

    I'm very suspicious of this post.

    Can't shake off the feeling you're trying to cell something.
    Signature
    Why do garden gnomes smell so bad?
    So that blind people can hate them as well.
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  • Profile picture of the author butters
    Picking on the little guy poor amoebas's
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  • Profile picture of the author kswr123
    What did the male bacteria say to the female bacteria?
    Who needs biology when we have chemistry.

    EDIT - I know it's a crap joke

    RE-EDIT - Support Amoebas - they're the only culture we have left

    RE-EDIT - Maybe I should stop trying
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    • Profile picture of the author butters
      Originally Posted by Mubarak Waseem View Post

      RE-EDIT - Maybe I should stop trying
      We didn't want to say anything because we are polite :p.
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    creatively redefining the Universe
    Wow - we can do that here? I always assumed that fell under Religion, at least until politicians practice it.
    Signature

    Sal
    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
    Beyond the Path

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    • Profile picture of the author Paul Myers
      One religion is allowed to be discussed here: The Church of Reality as Perception.

      Believers in CRaP are everywhere, and give meaning to the term "bully pulpit." Without them, this place would be empty...


      Paul
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Feed a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
    Teach a man to fish and he will spend vast fortunes on beer.
    Signature

    Sal
    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
    Beyond the Path

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  • Profile picture of the author CDarklock
    What about paramecia? Can I start threads about paramecia?
    Signature
    "The Golden Town is the Golden Town no longer. They have sold their pillars for brass and their temples for money, they have made coins out of their golden doors. It is become a dark town full of trouble, there is no ease in its streets, beauty has left it and the old songs are gone." - Lord Dunsany, The Messengers
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  • Profile picture of the author valerieSONORA
    Originally Posted by Steven Wagenheim View Post


    ** DISCLAIMER ** For those of you with no humor who can't see that this
    whole thread is a joke...it's a joke.
    You're not supposed to say it's a joke! :p
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    siggy taking a break...

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  • Profile picture of the author KenThompson
    Sounds about right, Steve.

    Sorry to U2 you and everyone else so badly.
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  • Profile picture of the author Manda
    First there were amoebas
    They really were complex
    They split themselves into two
    And then they started sex

    I learnt that as a teenager, many years ago, never thought I'd have a reason to repeat it
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    • Profile picture of the author Steven Wagenheim
      Hey, for anybody who gets Paul Myers Talk Biz News, this thread gets a
      mention...so you might want to open your emails and read it.

      I won't say more than that. :p
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      • Profile picture of the author Tina Golden
        What did Mrs. Amoeba say to Mr. Amoeba?

        Not tonight, dear. I have a splitting headache.


        Tina

        PS: Just went to check my email to see what Paul had to say about this thread. That man constantly amazes me. Who else could glean that many marketing and life lessons from a simple post in OT meant as a gag? Another one to print out for my binder.

        Thanks for pointing it out, Steve, as I don't check that email every day.
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        • Profile picture of the author Paul Myers
          Tina,
          That man constantly amazes me.
          But have you tried it with Jell-O?
          Who else could glean that many marketing and life lessons from a simple post in OT meant as a gag?
          Absolutely anyone. That was the point of today's Blatant Commercial Plug.


          Paul
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          • Profile picture of the author Tina Golden
            Paul -
            Absolutely anyone. That was the point of today's Blatant Commercial Plug.
            Perhaps so but it is rare for someone to demonstrate that ability as often as you do and even more rare for them to do it so eloquently.

            Tina
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            Discover how to have fabulous, engaging content with
            Fast & Easy Content Creation
            ***Especially if you don't have enough time, money, or just plain HATE writing***
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            • Profile picture of the author Steven Wagenheim
              Originally Posted by TMG Enterprises View Post

              Paul -
              Perhaps so but it is rare for someone to demonstrate that ability as often as you do and even more rare for them to do it so eloquently.

              Tina
              Tina, Paul's a rare breed. It's the only newsletter I really read and get
              a lot out of.

              Considering how info overloaded I am after 7 years, that's saying a lot.
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      • Profile picture of the author R Hagel
        Originally Posted by Steven Wagenheim View Post

        Hey, for anybody who gets Paul Myers Talk Biz News, this thread gets a
        mention...so you might want to open your emails and read it.
        That's why I'm here. Haven't been down to the OT forum in a while. But then Paul mentioned this thread, so I just had to come see for myself.

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  • Profile picture of the author Mr. Enthusiastic
    Steven, coming from a copywriter like you, that's a real soft cell approach. More touchy-feeler than I would have expected. Kind of squishy to get a handle on it, but there's a nucleus of truth inside. Until I study the matter more, this conclusion is only tentacle.

    Manda, see how everything in your life helps you as a marketer?
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  • Profile picture of the author Mr. Enthusiastic
    Ken, I'll do my part by only using one brain cell to read what you post in this topic. :p
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  • Profile picture of the author Mr. Enthusiastic
    Now that's multitasking at its finest.
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Well, I'm sure after this discussion of how few brain cells we get by on that Paul is excessively proud of all the positive feedback in which he was just immersed.

    Way to go, Paul - when you're hot you're hot.
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    Sal
    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
    Beyond the Path

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  • Profile picture of the author Mr. Enthusiastic
    I think the new rule is excellent. With a GPS I don't need my brain cell for navigation, so I can just use it to post here.
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    • Profile picture of the author Paul Myers
      Sal,
      Well, I'm sure after this discussion of how few brain cells we get by on that Paul is excessively proud of all the positive feedback in which he was just immersed.
      [splorf!]

      No fair, lady. You had both cells working that time!


      Paul
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      • Profile picture of the author HeySal
        Originally Posted by Paul Myers View Post

        Sal,[splorf!]

        No fair, lady. You had both cells working that time!


        Paul
        both? I'll have you know that I saved half a dozen. Never wanted to be accused of being one short of a six pack.
        Signature

        Sal
        When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
        Beyond the Path

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        • Profile picture of the author Paul Myers
          Sal,
          both? I'll have you know that I saved half a dozen.
          Of whose? And from what?
          Never wanted to be accused of being one short of a six pack.
          There she goes with the abs thing again...


          Paul
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          • Profile picture of the author HeySal
            Originally Posted by Paul Myers View Post

            Sal,Of whose? And from what?
            Oh they're all mine - and saving all six did the trick - I am never accused of being one short of a six pack -
            However.......there does still seem to be speculation about which story my elevator stops at, and if it reaches the penthouse.......but that's a different story entirely.

            There she goes with the abs thing again...
            Paul
            LOL - yeah, it's nice to be a true master of your niches:p
            Signature

            Sal
            When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
            Beyond the Path

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