67 replies
  • OFF TOPIC
  • |
Ok, I know a lot of people arent from the US on this forum but I've noticed lately a very unpleasant trend in the US and perhaps its true in other parts of the world.

I feel like for the first time, being a mistress is somehow fashionable or cool. This goes beyond just Tiger Woods and all the recent politicians. Women are often in the wrong as well because normally they know the men are married. I know many come out of hiding to make money, but isnt that just as bad, or perhaps worse, than the person actually cheating? Do other people feel it is somehow cool or at the very least 'okay' to be a mistress.

I dunno..rant of the day
  • Profile picture of the author Ken Strong
    There's nothing new about all this... if I'm not mistaken, sex has been around for quite a while.

    I haven't noticed any big difference lately. Maybe the difference is that we find out about this stuff a lot quicker -- for instance, JFK apparently had mistresses (including Marilyn Monroe), but it didn't come out until decades later.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1829613].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author ThomM
      Originally Posted by KenStrong View Post

      There's nothing new about all this... if I'm not mistaken, sex has been around for quite a while.

      I haven't noticed any big difference lately. Maybe the difference is that we find out about this stuff a lot quicker -- for instance, JFK apparently had mistresses (including Marilyn Monroe), but it didn't come out until decades later.
      As did FDR.
      If you look back over history there have been mistresses as long as there has been men wealthy enough to afford one.
      Signature

      Life: Nature's way of keeping meat fresh
      Getting old ain't for sissy's
      As you are I was, as I am you will be
      You can't fix stupid, but you can always out smart it.

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1830160].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author HeySal
      Originally Posted by KenStrong View Post

      There's nothing new about all this... if I'm not mistaken, sex has been around for quite a while.
      No, you are not mistaken. I am extremely impressed that you can remember that, Ken. Good goin' old man.

      What I am shocked and appalled at is the number of "share home for sex" ads going on now. So now that women are losing their homes, they are expected to prostitute out of a roof over their heads? I wonder if table scraps are included with the deal. When do the mail order bride catalogs start coming out? I think any man in this country low enough to take that kind of advantage of a hungry, homeless woman in this country of all countries should be shot on sight no questions asked.

      As far as mistresses - unless it's in the marriage agreement, it's not okay. I don't care whether you are the mistress or the cheating spouse. Don't mistake this statement for a show of Christian morals, I am not Christian. You may feel free to mistake it for a sense of logic that when society allows itself to feed on each other with no ethical repercussions then the society eventually destroys itself.
      Signature

      Sal
      When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
      Beyond the Path

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1830445].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author valerieSONORA
    I don't think it's cool but that's just me. And all those Tiger Wood's mistresses have gotten way too much attention.

    I don't think they are worse than the married person though cause the mistress isn't the one who made vows to the cheated on spouse. The person who is married is the one who made the vows and is held to a higher standard. Mistresses have no duty or obligation to the wronged spouse-the one who married them does.
    Signature

    siggy taking a break...

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1829615].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      Originally Posted by valerieSONORA View Post

      I don't think it's cool but that's just me. And all those Tiger Wood's mistresses have gotten way too much attention.

      I don't think they are worse than the married person though cause the mistress isn't the one who made vows to the cheated on spouse. The person who is married is the one who made the vows and is held to a higher standard. Mistresses have no duty or obligation to the wronged spouse-the one who married them does.
      Sorry Val, but I disagree! The mistress can't be ignorant of the man being married!

      I don't know about you, but when I was single and approached by a married man, that was taboo!

      I mean who wants to be a home wrecker? Only women with low self esteem issues I would guess!

      MissTerraK
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1830003].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author valerieSONORA
        I know what you mean Terra. What I meant, if it wasn't clear from above, that the husband has more of an obligation to his wife than some random stranger on the street. The husband made the vows, not anyone else. That was in response to the OP saying the mistress was just as bad or worse and I wouldn't say worse, cause the mistress didn't make any vows to love, honor and forsake all others for the wife, the husband did.

        Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

        I mean who wants to be a home wrecker? Only women with low self esteem issues I would guess!

        MissTerraK
        Well in the Tiger case there was no shortage of women who didn't mind being home wreckers.
        Signature

        siggy taking a break...

        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1830210].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
          Originally Posted by valerieSONORA View Post

          I know what you mean Terra. What I meant, if it wasn't clear from above, that the husband has more of an obligation to his wife than some random stranger on the street. The husband made the vows, not anyone else. That was in response to the OP saying the mistress was just as bad or worse and I wouldn't say worse, cause the mistress didn't make any vows to love, honor and forsake all others for the wife, the husband did.



          Well in the Tiger case there was no shortage of women who didn't mind being home wreckers.
          Yeah, in that case it would have been show me the money!
          Kind of like prostitution, the oldest profession in the world, or so I've been told...lol!

          MissTerraK
          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1830284].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Michael Motley
        Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

        Sorry Val, but I disagree! The mistress can't be ignorant of the man being married!

        I don't know about you, but when I was single and approached by a married man, that was taboo!

        I mean who wants to be a home wrecker? Only women with low self esteem issues I would guess!

        MissTerraK
        Then you are one of a handful of women. Ask any married man...the moment you put a ring on, ears perk up on every single female in every bar you walk into. They know automatically that your junk works, you're not gay, and if you are interested in getting laid, it will most likely be a no strings attached deal. A wedding ring is like a red cloth to a bull for some women. I even know a lot of guys that arent married that wear a ring when out on the prowl for just that reason.
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1838724].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
          Originally Posted by Michael Motley View Post

          Then you are one of a handful of women. Ask any married man...the moment you put a ring on, ears perk up on every single female in every bar you walk into. They know automatically that your junk works, you're not gay, and if you are interested in getting laid, it will most likely be a no strings attached deal. A wedding ring is like a red cloth to a bull for some women. I even know a lot of guys that arent married that wear a ring when out on the prowl for just that reason.
          First of all, I want to thank you as I find that a compliment! I like being unique and not one to do something just because everyone else is, so being a part of a minority really is quite refreshing to me!

          I also am a person who will fight to the death for the beliefs I hold dear. And no, that doesn't mean I will get into arguments publically regarding them. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and accountable for their own actions!

          Those type of women obviously, in my opinion, have intimacy problems as far as relationships go. However, if your guy friends that do this are looking for just a one night stand, I can see the reasoning for it no matter how shallow I think it is on both parties.

          I like to say it is better to marry than to burn and you can take that however you wish, as it has quite a few meanings!

          MissTerraK
          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1839751].message }}
          • Profile picture of the author Michael Motley
            Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

            First of all, I want to thank you as I find that a compliment! I like being unique and not one to do something just because everyone else is, so being a part of a minority really is quite refreshing to me!

            I also am a person who will fight to the death for the beliefs I hold dear. And no, that doesn't mean I will get into arguments publically regarding them. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and accountable for their own actions!

            Those type of women obviously, in my opinion, have intimacy problems as far as relationships go. However, if your guy friends that do this are looking for just a one night stand, I can see the reasoning for it no matter how shallow I think it is on both parties.

            I like to say it is better to marry than to burn and you can take that however you wish, as it has quite a few meanings!

            MissTerraK
            I'd imagine your husband has probably had to deal with this before. Though if he's a smart man, he'll deny it until his dying day.
            {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1839779].message }}
            • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
              Originally Posted by Michael Motley View Post

              I'd imagine your husband has probably had to deal with this before. Though if he's a smart man, he'll deny it until his dying day.
              LOL! Michael!

              Actually, he does tell me if a woman comes to him and how they try to pick him up! Sometimes he finds it funny, sometimes he finds it disgusting and sometimes he finds it obnoxious...but at the end of the day, he comes home to me and tells me he thinks he is the luckiest man in the world for having me as his wife!

              I'm not saying our marriage is perfect, far from it actually! We've had our fair share of problems, worked through a lot of them, still are working through some at this present time. The key word being "working," as marriage is indeed on going work in progress.

              After the honeymoon is over, and marriage starts, it is a decision every day to love your spouse and choose whether you want to work at it or not. I'm sure I don't have to tell you the end results of the decision made.

              MissTerraK
              {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1839860].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author CDarklock
        Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

        The mistress can't be ignorant of the man being married!
        Yeah, because men NEVER lie. :rolleyes:
        Signature
        "The Golden Town is the Golden Town no longer. They have sold their pillars for brass and their temples for money, they have made coins out of their golden doors. It is become a dark town full of trouble, there is no ease in its streets, beauty has left it and the old songs are gone." - Lord Dunsany, The Messengers
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1838959].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author Kenster
          Originally Posted by CDarklock View Post

          Yeah, because men NEVER lie. :rolleyes:

          Yes I think thats a whole different topic. I guess I should have clarified. I am assuming in this case that the mistress is aware the men are married with families...as I would assume all of Tigers mistresses did.
          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1839051].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
          Originally Posted by CDarklock View Post

          Yeah, because men NEVER lie. :rolleyes:
          Quite true, however I am a pretty good judge of character and can spot a lying <insert any foul language you think fits, for I won't> man rather easily. I will keep my instincts to myself for awhile, let the scenario play out, and usually find my first instincts to be correct.

          Women's intuition perhaps???

          MissTerraK
          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1839775].message }}
          • Profile picture of the author Michael Motley
            Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

            Quite true, however I am a pretty good judge of character and can spot a lying <insert any foul language you think fits, for I won't> man rather easily. I will keep my instincts to myself for awhile, let the scenario play out, and usually find my first instincts to be correct.

            Women's intuition perhaps???

            MissTerraK
            Probably not.. men just aren't as smart as women when it comes to lying.

            Look at the way a cheating man and a cheating woman handle their alibis. A cheating man wont even have a good alibi until he thinks his wife is onto him, and then he'll just call his closest buddy and say 'dude, we were out on xxxxxx day if anyone asks'.

            Women on the other hand will have a good cover story. They will have atleast 2-3 girlfriends to back up their story, and probably even helping them out because for months before the actual cheating happened, they have been burning up the phone lines with tales of how much of a ******* the guy is and why its ok to cheat on him.

            And to make it even worse...a man in love and getting regular sex will be a retard over his woman. I've seen guys that had hard evidence of cheating staring them in the face and they still refuse to believe it.

            here's an example:

            I had a buddy that worked strip clubs..he started dating a stripper. Every guy that has ever dated a stripper knows you dont date strippers. He bought her a fairly expensive dress, she decided she was going to wear it one night when she went 'out with the girls'. The next day she came back in a totally different set of clothes (didnt take any with her) and just couldn't remember where her dress had apparently fallen off.

            He totally bought this, and kept buying it right up to the point where he found her hiding in some guy's closet. Every one of his buddies was telling him she was cheating and he just refused to believe it. I mean come on...his girl goes out with 'the girls' comes home with her hair all f***ed up, makeup mostly gone and her panties in her purse and he didnt even think about 'shes cheating'
            {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1839837].message }}
          • Profile picture of the author CDarklock
            Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

            however I am a pretty good judge of character
            But I suggest that precisely half the women on the planet have worse than average judgment.

            EDIT:

            Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

            he thinks he is the luckiest man in the world for having me as his wife!
            Wait a minute, so how can you possibly know how good your judgement of character is when it comes to dishonest men looking for a mistress? You can't verify your conclusion.
            Signature
            "The Golden Town is the Golden Town no longer. They have sold their pillars for brass and their temples for money, they have made coins out of their golden doors. It is become a dark town full of trouble, there is no ease in its streets, beauty has left it and the old songs are gone." - Lord Dunsany, The Messengers
            {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1840052].message }}
            • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
              Originally Posted by CDarklock View Post

              Wait a minute, so how can you possibly know how good your judgement of character is when it comes to dishonest men looking for a mistress? You can't verify your conclusion.
              Trust me Caliban,

              I had quite a few men approach me while I was single, and finally choosing one that I have been faithfully married to, and a man who has been faithfully married to me for 27 years, kinda verifies my conclusion, ya think?:rolleyes:

              MissTerraK
              {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1840537].message }}
              • Profile picture of the author CDarklock
                Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

                I had quite a few men approach me while I was single, and finally choosing one that I have been faithfully married to, and a man who has been faithfully married to me for 27 years, kinda verifies my conclusion, ya think?
                Okay, so let me get this straight.

                You got this right once, 27 years ago, so you're really good at it.

                Are you seeing any potential flaws in this statement?
                Signature
                "The Golden Town is the Golden Town no longer. They have sold their pillars for brass and their temples for money, they have made coins out of their golden doors. It is become a dark town full of trouble, there is no ease in its streets, beauty has left it and the old songs are gone." - Lord Dunsany, The Messengers
                {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1842811].message }}
                • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
                  Originally Posted by CDarklock View Post

                  Okay, so let me get this straight.

                  You got this right once, 27 years ago, so you're really good at it.

                  Are you seeing any potential flaws in this statement?
                  Nope, not a one!

                  I didn't tell you how many I was right about that I didn't choose, which was actually a very good choice!

                  I didn't tell you how many approached me after I was married while wearing my wedding ring...those were blatantly obvious though!

                  MissTerraK
                  {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1843320].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author hariklia
      Originally Posted by valerieSONORA View Post

      I don't think it's cool but that's just me. And all those Tiger Wood's mistresses have gotten way too much attention.

      I don't think they are worse than the married person though cause the mistress isn't the one who made vows to the cheated on spouse. The person who is married is the one who made the vows and is held to a higher standard. Mistresses have no duty or obligation to the wronged spouse-the one who married them does.
      Totaly agree with you! people are so quick to hate mistresses, and I'm not saying that's the way to go-become a mistress, but spouses who cheat are much worse. If my bf cheated on me I wouldnt hate the other woman, I'd hate him.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1961261].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Mr. Enthusiastic
    From the headline, I thought you had started a new profit-sharing affiliate program. "Cost per action" indeed.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1829988].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Brightman
    It's a womens responsibility to keep the fort door closed more than a mans responsibility to keep his gun on safety.

    2cents.
    Signature

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1831008].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Ken Strong
      Originally Posted by Brightman View Post

      It's a womens responsibility to keep the fort door closed more than a mans responsibility to keep his gun on safety.

      2cents.
      Well, that's very 1955 of you.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1831085].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author HeySal
      Originally Posted by Brightman View Post

      It's a womens responsibility to keep the fort door closed more than a mans responsibility to keep his gun on safety.

      2cents.
      2 cents is about what that is worth. I guess men are just to stupid, unfaithful, and too incapable of living by a code of ethics to be completely human, eh? How big is your kennel? Does your wife have to put you on a leash to get you into it or are you smart enough to know how to walk in there on your own when she points? Maybe she should take you to the doc and get you fixed so she doesn't have to worry about you catching the scent of something and running off when her back is turned.
      Signature

      Sal
      When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
      Beyond the Path

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1831123].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author chestmary
        Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

        2 cents is about what that is worth. I guess men are just to stupid, unfaithful, and too incapable of living by a code of ethics to be completely human, eh? How big is your kennel? Does your wife have to put you on a leash to get you into it or are you smart enough to know how to walk in there on your own when she points? Maybe she should take you to the doc and get you fixed so she doesn't have to worry about you catching the scent of something and running off when her back is turned.
        LOL, I think could have another career as a comedian or writer!
        Signature


        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1878093].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
      Originally Posted by Brightman View Post

      2cents.
      Wrong. You should've put non-cents.
      Signature
      Arguing with an idiot is like playing chess with a pigeon.
      It'll just knock over all the pieces, poop on the board, and strut about like it's won anyway.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1831146].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Jo W
      The man definitely has a greater responsibility to honour the woman (or man) he has married. HE is the one who is cheating if he chooses that path. HE is the one who has a partner, and perhaps a family. HE is the one making the choice. HE is the one who needs to show restraint and consideration. I, personally, would not go near a married man, out of respect for the woman involved, but the greater onus must remain on the man to STOP!! Yes, there are women who seek to gain monetary advantage through being a mistress, but there are many more who do not. As for "keeping the fort closed", Brightman, why should women? Their role isn't to play moral guard to wayward men!
      Signature
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1831632].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Kenster
        Originally Posted by ThomM View Post

        As did FDR.
        If you look back over history there have been mistresses as long as there has been men wealthy enough to afford one.

        Right but my question is that it seems to be fashionable and trendy now to be a mistress. I am probably on the younger side compared to other warriors on this thread so I was wondering from older folk if this was always the case. It almost seems like these mistresses are proud or at the very least indifferent about their predicament. They seem to stand tall in front of the media, smile, and seem to love the attention.

        Agreed, the men had vows and marriage is sacred, but at the same time, the women were well aware that the men were married. Ok, so maybe they weren't breaking any marriage vows, but they were still breaking an ethical and moral code weren't they? Isn't it wrong that they had relations with a married man? I am not arguing it is more or less wrong than the man, im just saying its got to be at least a little wrong, so why do they seem so proud.

        So for all the people who have lived longer than I, how did mistresses in the past handle themselves. Were they ashamed, proud, indifferent? Is that the same as how they seem to be today?


        Originally Posted by Jo W View Post

        The man definitely has a greater responsibility to honour the woman (or man) he has married. HE is the one who is cheating if he chooses that path. HE is the one who has a partner, and perhaps a family. HE is the one making the choice. HE is the one who needs to show restraint and consideration. I, personally, would not go near a married man, out of respect for the woman involved, but the greater onus must remain on the man to STOP!! Yes, there are women who seek to gain monetary advantage through being a mistress, but there are many more who do not. As for "keeping the fort closed", Brightman, why should women? Their role isn't to play moral guard to wayward men!


        You said "I, personally, would not go near a married man, out of respect for the woman involved, but the greater onus must remain on the man to STOP!! "

        I say, who cares who has greater responsibility. The fact is that both the man and the mistress are in the wrong, the very wrong. Both should be ashamed, both should be embarrassed. Who cares who is MORE wrong.

        Anywho, back to the point of the thread, so are mistresses acting in the same way they were in the past or does society paint a different view on mistresses these days?
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1839045].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      Originally Posted by Brightman View Post

      It's a womens responsibility to keep the fort door closed more than a mans responsibility to keep his gun on safety.

      2cents.
      In my opinion you either need to change your view or your name.

      In keeping with your mindset, no way can you be a Brightman.:rolleyes:

      MissTerraK
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1832459].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Michael Motley
      Originally Posted by Brightman View Post

      It's a womens responsibility to keep the fort door closed more than a mans responsibility to keep his gun on safety.

      2cents.
      ya live alone dont you
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1847871].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Rose Rushton
    Gee, what a mixed bag of replies! No one has addressed the ultimate shambles an affair has on family and friends. Kids, brothers, sisters, mums and dads all suffer when this happens. Makes it darn difficult for friends.
    I know, that a friend of mine's husband went off the rails and then wanted to bring the mistress to arvo tea at our place. Got a bit hurt when I said NO! I was friends with his wife and told him that if he wanted to bring her it was okay. Ultimately, he got back with his wife. I guess I am saying that it isn't okay to just accept the mistress! Had I done that, where would that have left us? If I am friends with the wife, I wouldn't even go to a wedding that a wayward husband had with a mistress after leaving his wife. If I am the wife's friend then I would think of it as a betrayal of friendship. I think she has suffered enough. Okay fellas the same would go for the man if the wife strayed.
    Signature

    Give me a home among the gum trees

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1831156].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author pup
    Cheating is cheating if someone wants to mess around then don't get married. The man and woman both made a commitment to each other, a vow, a promise and I do believe that fidelity exists in a marriage or else I wouldn't have bothered getting married myself.

    As for who is responsible; the husband is for betraying his promise to his wife and family and the mistress is because she should be ashamed that she would do this to another woman, another human being. If the wife cheated I would feel the exact same way. If you don't want to or can't keep your pants on (or skirt down) then do everybody a favor and don't get married or commit to anyone. I've seen it done, some men and women can't stay faithful so they stay out of relationships.
    Signature
    A Goal Without a Plan Is Just a Wish
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1831969].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      I agree 100%!

      I believe the statement is "forsaking all others!"

      MissTerraK
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1832450].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Chris Worner
    Cheating/mistress's/Pool-boys are as old as time, it was very common but was never talked about. Its only in more modern times that people have become more accepting of their emotions and sexuality that it has made a huge emergence as far as coming out is concerned.

    Just go into your local bookshop and look at some of the Adult non-fiction books that have been published. I saw a book at a local store called "Speaking Cock"

    Then there is the media with shows like Sex In The City and Desperate Housewives, 10-20 years ago these shows would never have been allowed to air.

    As for who is more guilty, they are as bad as each other.


    Chris
    Signature

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1832856].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
      Three somewhat-related items...

      1. Judge to young woman: Young lady, why did you wait so long to report this heinous crime. Young woman: Your Honor, I didn't know I'd been raped until the check bounced.

      (Before anyone flames me for insensitivity on rape, I believe rapists should be staked out in the mangroves with their chins just above the high tide line. After a night or two, there would be nothing left but shining bones, belching crabs and fat mosquitoes...)

      2. If we're going to look at former presidents, let's start with Thomas Jefferson. Only because I'm not sure about Washington or Adams.

      3. "Men are living proof that God has a sense of humor. She gave him both a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." - Robin Williams.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1833342].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Michael Motley
    I dont think any marriage is perfect. If it takes work just to live with someone and date someone for a long period of time..it surely has to be more work to be legally bound to that person, have kids..mortgages..etc.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1839981].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Kenster
    I think there are worms crawling all over this thread
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1840303].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author birdfood
    In many Asian countries (Taiwan, Korea, China) mistresses are institutionalized and it is not unusual to have the wife and mistress/ess living together.

    Bit hard when you have as many as ol TG
    Signature

    Marketing Laser Glasses

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1842549].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Kenster
    Back to the question, I still don't have a good grasp...

    Are mistresses treated or viewed differently over the last few years than they were say 20 - 40 years ago? At least from a societal perspective?
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1843510].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Michael Motley
      Originally Posted by Kenster View Post

      Back to the question, I still don't have a good grasp...

      Are mistresses treated or viewed differently over the last few years than they were say 20 - 40 years ago? At least from a societal perspective?
      ....not by wives and girlfriends
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1843579].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Kenster
        Originally Posted by Michael Motley View Post

        ....not by wives and girlfriends

        From a society perspective though?
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1846284].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author Michael Motley
          Originally Posted by Kenster View Post

          From a society perspective though?
          Possibly. Marriage is no longer the 'institution' that it was. Though in the face of the myriad of std's floating around, its more a health matter than a general social matter
          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1847874].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Chris Worner
    In Australia they passed laws which recognize mistress's:

    New de facto laws mean cheats no longer prosper | The Daily Telegraph
    Signature

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1843582].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Kenster
    Micheal fair enough.

    Based on the feedback, I take it that the 'attitude' of and about mistresses hasn't really changed over recent history. I figured in the past, misstresses were more embarrased instead of proud like them seem to be now, but I guess not.

    I guess my father is right...I'm young and dumb!

    haha
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1878021].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Kenster
    AHHHHHHH, I'm going crazy. I was listening to the radio this morning and I guess the 6th Mistress came out of the woodwork regarding the Jesse James debacle.


    What The Freak man. Jesse James is an idiot, we all know that. But why the heck are these women coming out? Fame? Money?

    Aren't they embarrased? Isn't it completely messed up that they had relations with Jesse knowing that he was married. They aren't ashamed about that?

    This is what I'm talking about. It almost seems like its cool to be a mistress these days

    Ahhhhhh, rant of the day.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1933735].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Michael Motley
      Originally Posted by Kenster View Post

      AHHHHHHH, I'm going crazy. I was listening to the radio this morning and I guess the 6th Mistress came out of the woodwork regarding the Jesse James debacle.


      What The Freak man. Jesse James is an idiot, we all know that. But why the heck are these women coming out? Fame? Money?

      Aren't they embarrased? Isn't it completely messed up that they had relations with Jesse knowing that he was married. They aren't ashamed about that?

      This is what I'm talking about. It almost seems like its cool to be a mistress these days

      Ahhhhhh, rant of the day.
      It may be 'cool' to be a mistress of a tiger woods or a jesse james, but you also have to figure that there's probably a fair amount of these women that are using this as their 15 minutes of fame. Look at the women in tiger's case, many of them were reality start junkies. I could see someone like that who is obviously chasing fame, taking something that in reality was nothing more than some flirting or racy txt messages and turning that into OH MY GAWD HE WANTED TO HAVE PERVERTED SEX WITH ME AND ILL SELL MY STORY FOR THE RIGHT PRICE! kind of thing
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1933820].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Lauryn
    Most of those hoes were in it for the money to begin with... que es nuevo? (What's new)
    Signature

    I Go Hard = "Slanguage" for putting forth a lot of effort.

    Don't be an arse and try to flip something you clearly have no knowledge of against me.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1933848].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      When the mistress is also described as "porn star" - what do you expect?

      There is no "more to blame" - people choose their poison on both sides. A man who advertises "housing for sex" is up front about it - and only a woman willing to do that will apply. Not a pretty thought - but to them perhaps it's an honest trade.

      There have been times when men "kept" mistresses openly - fully supporting them for years. I think it's much sleazier now. "Mistress" is not the word I would use for a woman who takes on a married man and then talks about it.:rolleyes:

      This is no more a problem than it's been for generations - but now people always have excuses for doing what they meant to do in the first place.
      "I was weak - I am addicted - blah blah" and a public mea culpa and we're back to the races.

      kay
      Signature
      Every child needs a pet because every family needs an optimist

      Saving one dog will not save the world....but will forever change the world for one dog.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1933889].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Michael Motley
        Yeah, i love when someone like a tiger woods gets busted and suddenly he's the victim. "oh im a sex addict'...yeah me too..im also a sex addict, but im pretty sure that explanation isnt going to fly when you're not a multimillion dollar a year sports figure with an iron clad pre-nup. Amazingly when these women that marry these guys who whisked them away from their no doubt long term career as bikini meat are given the option of sucking it up and continue living their tough life of sports wife with all the benefits that accompany that income bracket, or taking their dignity (and due to the pre-nup they signed nothing else) and hitting the road to stand on their own two feet, they sit down and shut up.

        If you lock yourself in a gilded cage and throw away the key, you can't be pissed at anyone else when you dont have a way out.


        Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

        When the mistress is also described as "porn star" - what do you expect?

        There is no "more to blame" - people choose their poison on both sides. A man who advertises "housing for sex" is up front about it - and only a woman willing to do that will apply. Not a pretty thought - but to them perhaps it's an honest trade.

        There have been times when men "kept" mistresses openly - fully supporting them for years. I think it's much sleazier now. "Mistress" is not the word I would use for a woman who takes on a married man and then talks about it.:rolleyes:

        This is no more a problem than it's been for generations - but now people always have excuses for doing what they meant to do in the first place.
        "I was weak - I am addicted - blah blah" and a public mea culpa and we're back to the races.

        kay
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1934231].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author Lauryn
          Originally Posted by Michael Motley View Post

          Yeah, i love when someone like a tiger woods gets busted and suddenly he's the victim. "oh im a sex addict'...yeah me too..im also a sex addict, but im pretty sure that explanation isnt going to fly when you're not a multimillion dollar a year sports figure with an iron clad pre-nup. Amazingly when these women that marry these guys who whisked them away from their no doubt long term career as bikini meat are given the option of sucking it up and continue living their tough life of sports wife with all the benefits that accompany that income bracket, or taking their dignity (and due to the pre-nup they signed nothing else) and hitting the road to stand on their own two feet, they sit down and shut up.

          If you lock yourself in a gilded cage and throw away the key, you can't be pissed at anyone else when you dont have a way out.

          Sexual addiction is more than picking pretty sluts across the country and paying for them to get you off and having relationships with them.

          Tiger... straight up said "I felt entitled to cheat" and that negates his addiction... dude is addicted to his narcissistic ego LMAO


          On another note, I feel you to an extent on the wives and stuff... but should they "have" to expect this as a tradeoff?! Can't people adjust and have legally open arrangements? Then it's just out there in the open... and if you're a manwhore... you're just that.
          Signature

          I Go Hard = "Slanguage" for putting forth a lot of effort.

          Don't be an arse and try to flip something you clearly have no knowledge of against me.

          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1936207].message }}
          • Profile picture of the author Michael Motley
            Originally Posted by Lauryn View Post

            Sexual addiction is more than picking pretty sluts across the country and paying for them to get you off and having relationships with them.

            Tiger... straight up said "I felt entitled to cheat" and that negates his addiction... dude is addicted to his narcissistic ego LMAO


            On another note, I feel you to an extent on the wives and stuff... but should they "have" to expect this as a tradeoff?! Can't people adjust and have legally open arrangements? Then it's just out there in the open... and if you're a manwhore... you're just that.
            That's true, they shouldn't have to expect it, but by the same token, if you're a woman on the prowl, looking to lock down a pro sports figure, an a-type personality, alpha male, competitive, probably hard to find any at the pro level that dont feel some sense of entitlement, no doubt good looking, the kind of guy that has no problem pulling females and women would litterally throw themselves at them when YOU worked your magic and put a leash on him, can you be shocked when that's just what you get?

            I mean I can't say with authority what its like to marry a male sports figure, but something tells me its not like marrying joe the plumber. There are women out there that make it their life's mission to get with pro players of almost every type of sport and are pretty driven to that purpose. You might be able to marry joe the plumber and start slacking..you're the only game in town for joe. But you marry a multi-millionaire pro sports player, if you start half-stepping there is probably a line of top end talent to take that place and they are applying for the position 24-7 in just about every facet of his life.
            {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1937270].message }}
            • Profile picture of the author ikan_sith
              lets face it; more people are cheating now than ever before for many reasons. my wife was asking me why men don't pick women that are equal to their wives to cheat with. i told her that they pick women that are willing to fill in the gaps of time that these men have available. think about it; none of these women had anything on the wives other than being available for sex when ever the person( jesse, tiger, bill clinton, the gov of S.C) was available and wanted to do it.

              the main issue to me is so what. i still like jesse james but i don't think anything less of him because he was human and weak in an area. we all fall short in something. this country is just to hung up on sex and need to leave these people alone and let them work out their issuse.

              most men given the opportunity would do the exact same thing if they could that these guys did. (yes your husband too.)
              {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1937445].message }}
              • Profile picture of the author Michael Motley
                Originally Posted by ikan_sith View Post

                lets face it; more people are cheating now than ever before for many reasons. my wife was asking me why men don't pick women that are equal to their wives to cheat with. i told her that they pick women that are willing to fill in the gaps of time that these men have available. think about it; none of these women had anything on the wives other than being available for sex when ever the person( jesse, tiger, bill clinton, the gov of S.C) was available and wanted to do it.

                the main issue to me is so what. i still like jesse james but i don't think anything less of him because he was human and weak in an area. we all fall short in something. this country is just to hung up on sex and need to leave these people alone and let them work out their issuse.

                most men given the opportunity would do the exact same thing if they could that these guys did. (yes your husband too.)
                I don't agree with the last part. With men in power, that in itself is an aphrodisiac. For the average guy, the woman they marry, have kids with, and get old with is probably just what they are looking for. Its a different mentality when you are a head of state or a internationally known. not only do you expect women to be throwing themselves at you because you've probably already got that kind of personality (thats part of what got you to that level to begin with) but there are women out there that agree with you.
                {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1937472].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author BlogDiva
    Men have been paying for sex for years..and Mistresses don't always get paid...go figure!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1937480].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Michael Motley
      Originally Posted by BlogDiva View Post

      Men have been paying for sex for years..and Mistresses don't always get paid...go figure!
      oh they get paid alright..in one form or another. They either get paid in flashy stuff thei guy buys for them, or in the fame they get by being 'that girl'.

      How many of the bimbos in the tiger woods story got paid for their stories, true or not, and in this day and age, there will probably be a tell all book from atleast a couple of them. So they get to say they bedded tiger, he probably bought them goodies...and they'll get paid to tell people about bedding tiger while they got goodies. Hell if i were a hot female i'd be showing up at every sporting event in edible panties passing out business cards with contact information.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1937836].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Kenster
        Originally Posted by Michael Motley View Post

        oh they get paid alright..in one form or another. They either get paid in flashy stuff thei guy buys for them, or in the fame they get by being 'that girl'.

        How many of the bimbos in the tiger woods story got paid for their stories, true or not, and in this day and age, there will probably be a tell all book from atleast a couple of them. So they get to say they bedded tiger, he probably bought them goodies...and they'll get paid to tell people about bedding tiger while they got goodies. Hell if i were a hot female i'd be showing up at every sporting event in edible panties passing out business cards with contact information.

        Agreed, they are mistresses because they want to be. They are getting paid, maybe not in the form of material goods or currency, but they are paid somehow
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1942866].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Lauryn
    I feel you MM
    Signature

    I Go Hard = "Slanguage" for putting forth a lot of effort.

    Don't be an arse and try to flip something you clearly have no knowledge of against me.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1937631].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author eQuus
    Extra-marital sex is like a grenade tossed in the middle, and always ends up wounding many people.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1937817].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author jquan
    Banned
    We men are just programmed to seek other women... Marriage/Kids is just something designed to repress your feelings. As a guy, how many guys do you know that don't cheat or haven't wanted to..
    I think maybe 1 or 2 in 10... Out of all my friends it would have to be 0.

    Just take a look at one of our closest relatives, monkeys for example can have sex 1 or two times an hour.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1940937].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Michael Motley
    Here is what im talking about. The first female that was 'outed' as tiger's mistress was paid 10 million dollars to NOT tell her story as reported by the news last night.
    Tiger Woods 'bought Rachel Uchitel's silence for $10 million' - Off the Field - Sports - The Times of India

    something tells me thats a pretty good motivator to make someone embellish the actual facts of an encounter with a pro sports player
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1941221].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Karomesis
    here's a good descriptive of about 99% of those types of women.


    Signature

    Coming soon....FULL SCALE AUTOMATION.
    "Set it...Forget it" site building and SEO software.

    any ? please hit me up anytime karomesis12@gmail.com

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1943026].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author sarahberra
    That is creepy. Being a mistress should never be cool. I would never want to be the other woman. Yikes.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1943452].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Chris Worner
    It's cool to be a mistress now because unfortunately society has a habit of making celebrities out of them such as this Michelle 'Bombshell' Mcgee whore who messed around with Sandra Bullocks husband.


    Chris
    Signature

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1963621].message }}

Trending Topics