I didnt want to do anything to the dog..its just being a dog. The owner on the other hand, i wanted to do vile things to him that included the use of a pipe wrench and a blowtorch. But then there's that whole 'hiding the body' thing....so I decided against that.
Last night...I put a brilliant plan into action...so brilliant i may patent this. The neighbor is a yard freak. One of those people that is always fertilizing, clipping, pruning something. He has possibly the best manicured law on the block.
So i decided to to hit him where it hurts...in the grass. I went to the store and bought a big jar of beef bullion cubes last night and threw a few handfulls into his finely manicured lawn before his nightly water sprinkler session.
The man is like clockwork, the dog goes out every morning at 6am, i leave for work at 6:30. So i got up at 5:30 this morning, made a pot of coffee and sat by my window and waited.
The door slid open, the dog came out at a dead run and stopped in his tracks like he hit a wall. His nose buried in the grass...and then the fun started. This dog started digging and chewing on the grass trying to find the source of that beef smell. He was like a little furry buzz saw. I thought he was going to hit the water table he was digging so hard and fast.
The neighbor lost his mind when he saw his dog out there shredding the lawn. And to make it better..when he ran out to get the dog to stop...fido was having none of it. He wanted whatever was making that smell...so he would shoot across the yard, stop and start excavating again....then just about the time the owner got there, he would rocket off to another part of the yard and commence to digging. Im talking dirt flying in the air kind of digging
Finally the dog darted back in the house to screams of 'GET YOUR A$$ IN THE HOUSE', but not before cutting multiple trenches through the yard.
Yes...that was the best cup of coffee ever.