The Nod

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I've noticed something, and i think this is a male thing only..i dont really see females doing this...

The Dude Nod.

When two guys pass each other...there is 'the dude nod'. Its either a nod down..which seems to be a more respectable nod, almost something like tipping your hat back in the day. Sort of an unsaid 'hello sir'.

Then there's the up nod. Sort of a 'hey...i dont know you...so im keeping my eye on you' kind of nod...the nod you give the guy that you see milling around your girl when she's waiting on you at the bar and you're not around yet.

These nods can be followed by verbal cues that seem to range from a grunt...to 'sup'...and if you're a bigger guy a 'hey boss' kind of response.

Do women have these kind of things too?
#off topic forum
  • While I don't participate in "the nod", I fully understand what you are talking about.
    As far as do women have this sort of thing, right off the bat I cant think of anything that they do that is similar.
    • [1] reply
    • You have to have a certain level of coolness, street smart and laid back attitude to get it.

      One non-verbal message of the nod is simply, "Everythings cool, I'm not trippin".

      Also, " If something is happening , what's up? If not, its still all good, enjoy yourself."

      The term, "I don't participate" is simply, "I don't feel you, man" or " I only communicate on the strictest rules of society ,and, pre-determined acceptable codes of engagement established by traditional standard social order."

      Ease up, jack, nothins that tight.
      • [1] reply
  • It is odd, I never thought about that until a few years ago, and now YOU mention it.

    Steve
    • [1] reply
    • Women here seem to use the "tilt" - you pass someone you know slightly you just tilt the head to the side a little to acknowledge them.

      What's odd here in the South is the use of the word "hey" - people here don't say "hello" or "hi" - they say "hey".

      So when I visit relatives in the North I find myself saying "hey" and they answer "what?".
      • [2] replies
  • I would say if I make eye contact with anyone - male or female I would smile - and I suppose there is a sort of uptilt to the head that just says 'I see you'.

    ... or not -

    If it is a guy and he is smarmy - I would not smile and would put up my 'you do not have permission to look at me' look. If he speaks I pretend I don't speak English and don't respond.

    If he persists I start visualizing a huge black cast iron frying pan and smashing him in the face -

    I am friendly, what can I say.
    • [ 2 ] Thanks
    • [1] reply
    • Note to self:

      Avert my eyes when reading one of Patrician's posts.
      • [1] reply
  • Several months ago I was in the grocery store and caught a woman
    looking at me, her boyfriend had his back to us and was busy with
    something. I know it was her boyfriend because I know him.

    So I just nodded, it was a downward, sort of cautious nod. She
    did the same right back. First time a woman ever nodded at me. But
    she's also from a different country, so I don't know if that had anything
    to do with it.

    I tend to nod to people only because I'm not much of a smiler, and I
    don't talk much to people. So the nod works out pretty well. It was a
    good invention.
  • The down nod is deferential, the up nod is dominating.

    If I'm at work or a conference, I nod down.

    If I'm walking through a bad part of town, I nod up.

    Basically, if you're in a situation or culture where respect is given to those who deserve it, you nod down. If you're in a situation where respect is demanded by those who deserve it, you nod up.
    • [2] replies
    • Gee, I guess I butt heads with a lot of people. For the most part, we nod UP!

    • Oh yeah, I forgot about that.

      The nod down.

      At work or business, its kind of a casual handshake without shaking or respectful recognition without emotional agenda or commitment either way.....like saying

      "Alright, man, I'm here, " or

      "sucks to be here, but I'm here" or

      "gotta do what we gotta do, can we make this painless?"

      "NOT tryin to be your friend but I'm simply trying to get thru the day quickly without incident"

      or
      "I'm just acknowledging in a cordial way your presence WITHOUT commitment but I neither hate you nor like you but let's get thru this".

      The down nod is also toward either:

      - uptight people,

      - overly and overtly academic in expressing themselves,

      - strictly business types,

      - people with no "with it" vibe

      - or women in general, done with the non-verbal message being respectful, agenda-less, non-committal , non-emotional, keep your space, non-inviting, neither friend or foe sort of way...

      ..the down nod is also a way in being cordial WITHOUT having ANY message that can be misinterpreted or assessed as to any motive or intention that one can readily get a grip on.

      I'm going to submit this to wiki.
  • Pat -
    I love giving that 'permission to look at me is not granted!' look at 'em ;-)
  • Thanks Ken <nod>
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