Have You Ever Been Kicked In The Nuts?

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If you, or a loved one, has ever been kicked in the nuts by a person wearing Nike brand tennis shoes, you may be eligible for monetary compensation.

That's right! If you or a loved one has suffered a debilitating injury from being kicked in the nuts by a person wearing Nike tennis shoes, the law provides a means by which you may receive a cash settlement for your pain and suffering.

Don't hesitate! Contact the law offices of Ben Dover and Spreadum today for a free legal consultation.

We've all seen them; television ads from law firms offering to represent people against a myriad of companies (mostly pharmaceutical) whose products may have caused some type of health problem or injury. I was watching one just last night and, while their "Non-attorney spokesperson" made me want to gag, it did start me thinking.

You see, these little pain in the butt ads that take us away from our latest reality TV shows are actually Good Marketing Lessons that we should reflect on.

* They have identified a problem
* They have zeroed in on a large target audience (a lot of people have been kicked in the nuts)
* They are offering a solution (in this case, money) to help ease the pain.

So, while we might privately like to kick them in the cobblers for disrupting our viewing pleasure, maybe we can learn something.

Mike
#kicked #nuts
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    • Profile picture of the author MikeRogers
      Originally Posted by x3xsolxdierx3x View Post

      I always wondered....do you think ALOT of people have 'Mesothelioma' (Spelling?) ?
      That brings up another good point...

      For us (Internet Marketers) this would be known as a "High Ticket Item". When these lawyers suit the makers of Asbestos, they're going to receive a high settlement. This would mean that they don't actually need a whole lot of Mesothelioma suffers to make a ton of money.
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    • Profile picture of the author DogScout
      Originally Posted by x3xsolxdierx3x View Post

      I always wondered....do you think ALOT of people have 'Mesothelioma' (Spelling?) ?
      The elusive highest cost Adwords keyword. Must be a ton of them.
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    • Profile picture of the author seasoned
      Originally Posted by x3xsolxdierx3x View Post

      I always wondered....do you think ALOT of people have 'Mesothelioma' (Spelling?) ?
      Apparantly, it is illegal to sue for Mesothelioma peer se. It was a class action, so if you can prove you are a member of the class, you get money. The same is true of MOST of the things those stupid ads cover. So it is a relatively easy job for a lawyer. And THEY STILL get a "healthy" chunk of the money! The SAME is essentially true of bankruptcy!

      OH, and Mesothelioma was once, from what I heard, they HIGHEST pay per click word on the internet, paying about $96 PER CLICK!!!!!!

      That isn't $0.96, but $96.00USD! So 313 clicks put you in the average income range of someone in the US!

      So it is EASY to see why it is so popular! And do a LOT of people have it? At THIS point? Probably not really. If someone were about 30 years older than I am, people might start to suspect other things, claim that they had other problems, etc... And, in the US at least, I think they started cleaning up around 40 years ago. So you would think that, in about 10 years or so, there would be practically nobody left. Still, when I was a kid, it was used in all sorts of insulation, as a fire retardant, and in breaks. I still remember schools cordoning areas off to have the ceilings changed, they had asbestos as a heat and sound insulation, They even had a special tile to limit noise that had asbestos. By THAT time, all the workers wore masks and covered areas.

      BTW This advertising for lawyers is FAMOUS! They are called AMBULANCE CHASERS! It actually used to be ILLEGAL for lawyers to advertise in mass media. The second it became legal, they started doing this. NOW, they even have jerks acting like lawyers selling for them. They must have gotten in trouble because they now say "I'm a non attorney spokesman".

      And this amounts to SPAM, and a LOT of spam has even advertised it.

      Steve
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      • Profile picture of the author Kay King
        I have never, not once, been kicked in the nuts. Guess that's one male bonding experience I'll never be able to empathize with.

        If what you like are lawyer ads - just come to the Gulf Coast. You can watch one about every 5 minutes or so on the local channels these days.
        Chinese drywall has now been replaced with oil spill commercials.

        kay
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        • Profile picture of the author seasoned
          Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

          I have never, not once, been kicked in the nuts. Guess that's one male bonding experience I'll never be able to empathize with.
          The last person that actually did that with me is lucky I never found him. He was simply a trouble maker, insulted me in a very stupid way, kicked me, and RAN, andd I was and am a pacifist! I never even said or did anything to him. AND, though I had been bullied, etc, I NEVER even TRIED to kick anyone there. It is pretty much a given that you just DON'T! BELIEVE ME, it is NO bonding experience!

          YEAH, I know you probably didn't mean it in that way, but still...

          Sadly, we're ALL affected by what is currently hitting the environment in the nuts. 8-( And you are getting the brunt of that right now.

          I for one have respect and admiration for you EVEN in your just helping to cleanup the creatures that were unfortunate enough to be affected by BPs incompetence. NOT that I am in any way belittling it.

          Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author Lee Wilson
    What is there to learn from them? How to find every loopehole possible so that they can prey on every opportunist looking for a quick easy buck without having to earn it for themselves, while at the same time, ruining practically every other industry where more attention has to be paid to covering their asses, rather than paying attention to the customers real needs, upping insurance premiums and generally make people more stupid than they already are by believing it's not fair they have no common sense and it's someone elses job to look out for them? ... er no thanks, I'll bail out on that one.
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    • Profile picture of the author MikeRogers
      Originally Posted by L Wilson View Post

      What is there to learn from them? How to find every loopehole possible so that they can prey on every opportunist looking for a quick easy buck without having to earn it for themselves, while at the same time, ruining practically every other industry where more attention has to be paid to covering their asses, rather than paying attention to the customers real needs, upping insurance premiums and generally make people more stupid than they already are by believing it's not fair they have no common sense and it's someone elses job to look out for them? ... er no thanks, I'll bail out on that one.
      :confused:

      Not my point at all...

      I'm not defending these ambulance chasers. I'm just trying to demonstrate that, while we might not approve of their tactics, they have nonetheless put together a viable marketing campaign using proven strategies.

      Mike
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      • Profile picture of the author Lee Wilson
        Originally Posted by MikeRogers View Post

        :confused:

        Not my point at all...

        I'm not defending these ambulance chasers. I'm just trying to demonstrate that, while we might not approve of their tactics, they have nonetheless put together a viable marketing campaign using proven strategies.

        Mike
        Mike, sorry, wasn't bashing you're thread, just the term compensation makes my blood boil, I should have took a breather before posting! I do see the humour in the post although I must admit, I'm struggling to see a marketing lesson unless you can find a way to offer free money through exploitation, maybe I'm missing something.

        Lee
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        • Profile picture of the author garyv
          Originally Posted by L Wilson View Post

          Mike, sorry, wasn't bashing you're thread, just the term compensation makes my blood boil, I should have took a breather before posting! I do see the humour in the post although I must admit, I'm struggling to see a marketing lesson unless you can find a way to offer free money through exploitation, maybe I'm missing something.

          Lee
          He pretty much explained it in his first post. These guys are experts at identifying a problem. Something that any good IMer could learn from. You may not like their business, but they know how to find people w/ problems. That's internet marketing 101 - find a problem that needs to be solved - solve the problem - sell the solution.
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        • Profile picture of the author MikeRogers
          Originally Posted by L Wilson View Post

          Mike, sorry, wasn't bashing you're thread, just the term compensation makes my blood boil, I should have took a breather before posting! I do see the humour in the post although I must admit, I'm struggling to see a marketing lesson unless you can find a way to offer free money through exploitation, maybe I'm missing something.

          Lee
          No problem, Lee

          I wasn't suggesting that you mimic their shyster tactics; merely their logic. (I just used those annoying ads as a fer instance.)

          But say, for example, you drill down into the skin care market and find a sub-niche in which people really want a cure for facial bloating or something and you discover that there are quite a few searches being conducted each month. You have just identified your target market...

          You then do a little research and find that there is a doctor that specializes in the treatment of "Puffy Face" and, lo and behold, his clinic allows affiliate marketing. You have just found the answer to the prayers of hundreds of people with puffed up faces.

          Put those two elements together and you may have the makings of a profitable campaign...

          Mike
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          • Profile picture of the author Lee Wilson
            Originally Posted by MikeRogers View Post

            No problem, Lee

            I wasn't suggesting that you mimic their shyster tactics; merely their logic. (I just used those annoying ads as a fer instance.)

            But say, for example, you drill down into the skin care market and find a sub-niche in which people really want a cure for facial bloating or something and you discover that there are quite a few searches being conducted each month. You have just identified your target market...

            You then do a little research and find that there is a doctor that specializes in the treatment of "Puffy Face" and, lo and behold, his clinic allows affiliate marketing. You have just found the answer to the prayers of hundreds of people with puffed up faces.

            Put those two elements together and you may have the makings of a profitable campaign...

            Mike
            That's what I'm missing
            Either I don't watch enough TV or the compensation ads are a bit different here in the UK, where they are mostly along the lines of ... if you have an accident in work through your own stupidity then it's not your fault and the boss should give you lots of money, or, the shop owner if you fell and broke your arm in their shop because you wasn't looking where you were going etc.

            Lee
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  • Profile picture of the author Adam Nolan
    Originally Posted by MikeRogers View Post

    If you, or a loved one, has ever been kicked in the nuts by a person wearing Nike brand tennis shoes, you may be eligible for monetary compensation.

    That's right! If you or a loved one has suffered a debilitating injury from being kicked in the nuts by a person wearing Nike tennis shoes, the law provides a means by which you may receive a cash settlement for your pain and suffering.

    Don't hesitate! Contact the law offices of Ben Dover and Spreadum today for a free legal consultation.

    We've all seen them; television ads from law firms offering to represent people against a myriad of companies (mostly pharmaceutical) whose products may have caused some type of health problem or injury. I was watching one just last night and, while their "Non-attorney spokesperson" made me want to gag, it did start me thinking.

    You see, these little pain in the butt ads that take us away from our latest reality TV shows are actually Good Marketing Lessons that we should reflect on.

    * They have identified a problem
    * They have zeroed in on a large target audience (a lot of people have been kicked in the nuts)
    * They are offering a solution (in this case, money) to help ease the pain.

    So, while we might privately like to kick them in the cobblers for disrupting our viewing pleasure, maybe we can learn something.

    Mike

    I love thanking people for laughs and that was a good one! Thanks for making my day a little more happy. *cheers*

    - Adam
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  • Profile picture of the author Matt Morgan
    Originally Posted by MikeRogers View Post

    If you, or a loved one, has ever been kicked in the nuts by a person wearing Nike brand tennis shoes,you may be eligible for monetary compensation.

    That's right! If you or a loved one has suffered a debilitating injury from being kicked in the nuts by a person wearing Nike tennis shoes, the law provides a means by which you may receive a cash settlement for your pain and suffering.

    Don't hesitate! Contact the law offices of Ben Dover and Spreadum today for a free legal consultation.

    We've all seen them; television ads from law firms offering to represent people against a myriad of companies (mostly pharmaceutical) whose products may have caused some type of health problem or injury. I was watching one just last night and, while their "Non-attorney spokesperson" made me want to gag, it did start me thinking.

    You see, these little pain in the butt ads that take us away from our latest reality TV shows are actually Good Marketing Lessons that we should reflect on.

    * They have identified a problem
    * They have zeroed in on a large target audience (a lot of people have been kicked in the nuts)
    * They are offering a solution (in this case, money) to help ease the pain.

    So, while we might privately like to kick them in the cobblers for disrupting our viewing pleasure, maybe we can learn something.

    Mike
    Does this include if you have done it on others?
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  • Profile picture of the author warriorkay
    But the question is - how many of them ACTUALLY get
    compensated?

    Kingsley
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    • Profile picture of the author KimW
      Originally Posted by warriorkay View Post

      But the question is - how many of them ACTUALLY get
      compensated?

      Kingsley
      Almost all the lawyers do........
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      • Profile picture of the author Lawrh
        The movie Idiocracy is no longer satire, it's become real.

        Here's something appropriate (not aff link)

        Ow My Balls! T-Shirt (Idiocracy) - Vintage Cotton
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  • Profile picture of the author yzal
    ha ha

    i want my ball kicking money!
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  • Profile picture of the author MikeRogers
    Jeeezzz -

    My little "nut kicking" post got moved to the Off Topic forum

    Seems I have gone and done it again with my keen sense of wit and messed up sense of humor :p

    Mike
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  • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
    Banned
    lol ... funny thread and it is very much marketing related, but ended up here. [sigh]
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  • Profile picture of the author kylekelly62
    Banned
    [DELETED]
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    • Profile picture of the author MikeRogers
      Originally Posted by kylekelly62 View Post

      What if it was a girl would they qualify? Also does it have to be in the nuts? What if a Nike shoe nudged me?
      Sorry...

      But you would be excluded for the purposes of this suit :p
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  • Profile picture of the author Thomas
    I wonder if the Kicked In The Nuts guy wears Nikes?

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    • Profile picture of the author tahersaid
      Originally Posted by Thomas View Post

      I wonder if the Kicked In The Nuts guy wears Nikes?

      YouTube - Kick in the nuts best
      Wow loll
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    • Profile picture of the author Lawrh
      Originally Posted by Thomas View Post

      I wonder if the Kicked In The Nuts guy wears Nikes?

      YouTube - Kick in the nuts best
      Why hasn't he been killed?
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      “Strategy without action is a day-dream; action without strategy is a nightmare.” – Old Japanese proverb -

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  • Profile picture of the author Pauline60
    I don't have any nuts...can I sue someone for that?
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    • Profile picture of the author seasoned
      Originally Posted by Pauline60 View Post

      I don't have any nuts...can I sue someone for that?
      WHY NOT!?!?!? That pervert predator FELON sued because IT had "nuts", and wanted a sex change!

      Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author drwhogoesthere
    Kicked
    Whacked
    Kneed at
    and knackered

    Mine seem to have targets painted on them.

    It always seems to be little kids throughing things or think its funny to run up and punch you. I haven't punch back, yet.

    All that punching was what stopped my from becoming a male porn star.

    That plus the looks.......and the fact that I dont like being naked in front of people.......and the fact that my fiance would kill me, but mostly the kicks in the nuts.
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  • Profile picture of the author drwhogoesthere
    What about the fact the scientist now believe that the male of a species is an error in nature? Can we sue for that?
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    • Profile picture of the author seasoned
      Originally Posted by drwhogoesthere View Post

      What about the fact the scientist now believe that the male of a species is an error in nature? Can we sue for that?
      WOW, what an error. MAYBE you're right! If males never existed, females couldn't have kids, the race would never even start, and we wouldn't have any problems! The earth would be as barren as mars!

      So what IDIOT says males are errors in nature? NEITHER sex could have young without the other.

      GRANTED, the last chromosome of one part of the pair in males looks deformed, but people have no REAL idea what that is, let alone the whole purpose. And many males could certainly have been created differently, but that is not common to even all male mammals! In fact, I have seen articles stating that it is more common for both sexes to appear more similar in that area. It is kind of ironic.

      We are almost like the aircooled vwbug classic compared to some that are like watercooled cars. And the aircooled aspect is REALLY the only reason why the testicles are exposed. They have to be slightly below body temperature to mature properly and create healthy sperm. In MANY mammals, they actually have methods to cool them INTERNALLY! So humans are among those that aren't designed that way. C'est la vie. 8-(

      Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author KenThompson
    I read about something you can do that will instantly take
    the pain away from being kicked, or hit, there. I don't remember
    where I read it, a martial arts book, I think. A long time ago.

    I was hit in the groin playing sports, I think. Only happened one
    time, again a long time ago. I implemented the technique, and
    the pain instantly was gone. No bs. It worked. And it's easy to
    do.
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    • Profile picture of the author seasoned
      Originally Posted by KenThompson View Post

      I read about something you can do that will instantly take
      the pain away from being kicked, or hit, there. I don't remember
      where I read it, a martial arts book, I think. A long time ago.

      I was hit in the groin playing sports, I think. Only happened one
      time, again a long time ago. I implemented the technique, and
      the pain instantly was gone. No bs. It worked. And it's easy to
      do.
      Still, you don't want to have such an injury, ESPECIALLY if you are young.

      Steve
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      • Profile picture of the author Kay King
        What about the fact the scientist now believe that the male of a species is an error in nature? Can we sue for that?
        I thought I was hearing things - but turns out it was the sound of women around the world say "I told you so - you never listen to me".

        Who ya gonna sue - Mother Nature?

        Ken - You could solve a lot of problems with that secret - as long as it doesn't involve breaking another body part to take your mind off the groin pain.
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  • Profile picture of the author KenThompson
    Depending on several things, beliefs, then from certain perspectives
    everything in nature can be considered an 'error.' But it's the useful
    errors that are desirable, or rather those errors that serve a good
    purpose or have value to the species and society.

    lol... ok, I'll just wait to read all the zingers one can glean from that.

    Kay, what are you suggesting? An info product? I can explain it in
    one paragraph. lol. So what do you think, 24.99?

    No, does not involve inducing pain to divert attention. I was pretty
    amazed when I tried it and it worked. I didn't think of it right away. lol.
    But only about 30 seconds passed when I thought, OH! Now's a good
    time to do that. You know, the pain clouds the thinking if only for a few
    moments.
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  • Profile picture of the author JustinDupre
    OMG! it hurts like hell haha reading this blog just reminded me of the crazy pain I had to go through.
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  • Profile picture of the author TLTheLiberator
    No, but at the tender age of about 6 or 7, I witnessed a Uncle of mine getting whacked in the sweet spot with a ball hit back to the pitcher.

    He slowly withered to the ground like a wet noodle.

    TL
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    "It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. -- Mark Twain

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