Why is it life seems so unfair ??

Tommy,

If you're worried about posting this in the wrong place,
consider moving it The Offtopic Forum.

>> http://www.warriorforum.com/off-topic-forum/

Now, here's some simple advice...

Life is life. There are things you can control and there
are things you cannot control. While I never like to
hear bad news, I've learned to think it through --

"Is this something I can change or control?"

If I'm "helpless" then I start to look for things I can do.
For example, I can listen to my friends if they want to
tell me a story. I can take care of their bills for a month
or two, if they are really in deep. I can simply spend
time with other people. That face-to-face time can make
all the difference.

Your goals absolutely still matter. If *you* are not
strong then you cannot help others. If you are not pulling
down cash, then you cannot use your wealth for good.
In short, your money matters. Your goals matter. Don't
lose faith!

~ John

Thank God you're not sick like these people and rejoice.
Also ONE SOLID POINT TO REMEMBER.........You are not these people.
Your body is different,maybe different blood type, different strengths and weakness and ect.
So why am I saying this, most people get depressed because they think it might happen to them. Take a different out look on life, get in shape, eat right, find a good hobby that release's stress, like music.
Also I am sorry your friends are sick, friends are people we love and share the good and hard times of life, people we trust.
You need to be strong for them, pray for them and help uplift them.
Hope this helps.....not sure.
C ya GW Williams

Life is unpredictable, you never know what might be around the corner. At least you have your health and strength so that you can be there for them, they're going to need you even if just to talk it out. You sound like a good friend, empathize, don't sympathize.

Tommy,

Life isn't fair or unfair, it's just life. Things only have the meaning you giev them.

Have 2 direct family members right now that either just died or are being treated for cancer.

My sister has cancer and is having chemotherapy - she's the happiest person I know. One of my family members died a few days ago from cancer back in the UK and I'll miss the funeral - sad but nothing to do with fairness.

The way you feel is definitely in your hands and if you're not able to deal with these things on your own, it might do you a lot of good to speak to a professional. It's not unusual and there's no reason you should feel bad about life, whatever is happening.

Andy

Would it be better to be diagnosed with terminal cancer some other time of year?

I don't know if this will help, but I was flipping through the channel yesterday after watching the Denver Nuggets play the New Orleans Hornets. They had this special on a NBA star. I had nothing to do so I just watched it. Everything was going well for him. He loved playing music in his studio, had a great wife, and a nice home. One day he fell on the stairs and heard his leg pop and it was snapped in half. He went to the doctor and the doctor said his leg bone turned brittle and that he had bone cancer all this time. They put him through weeks of treatment. At this point he had to give up everything including what he loved doing most to get through life - which was to play music. By the end of his session, he was about to leave. But the doctor gave him some more bad news. They told him they needed to amputate his leg.

Now most people would have been like, "Okay my life is over right now..." but he went through the procedure with a positive attitude and the doctors always said he had a smile on his face. Charles Barkley said no matter how bad things would happen to this guy, he would have a smile on his face and Kenny Smith said that he wasn't surprised this guy would pull through with this since he always kept a positive outlook towards things.

Now he continues to play music that he loves and sells many albums to the world. He is happy. I don't know how I typed this long but that kind of just inspired me to keep moving forward when the worst things happen to you. I mean a lot of crappy things happen to me, but nothing as bad as getting my leg chopped off but that guy kept going, and so I will I. Hope this helps you and your friend.

P.S. Your friend(s) - Are these two people the same person with two different types of cancer? Or are you talking about two people each with one type of cancer?

Healthy and young person going out on the road and death hits them by an accident. What do you say about it?

It is not the age or health of the person. it just takes over. As my landlord says - "Death is an appointment that no one can cancel."

Just be optimistic and support their family as you like.

.

TO be honest in my opinion is because the life is going in a very whrong way, and you dont know what will be happend tommorow or next week.

Hope you got what i want to told you

I'm truly sorry for your loss. =(

It may give you some comfort to visit Romans 10:9

~Mike Cowles. <><

Two weeks ago I posted a rather long thread about my rather "pathetic" IM career and all the things that went wrong in my life. I felt motivated to move forward in life, change things to regain control about my life. Some members suggested me to write articles, other suggested me to become a copywriter. The suggestions were great because I`ve been interested in copywriting for quite some time. I began to read books on copywriting, woke up everyday motivated to practise writing articles and copy, for once life could have just been just wonderful. I decided to make the next post with a story about my success in IM.

Then I got a phone call. My mother was hospitalized. An emergency case. Memories of my time in Japan flashed into my mind. Four years ago her doctor made a false diagnosis and she nearly died because of that. I was in Japan and couldn`t be with her.
She`s been sick for nearly four years now, but I thought that she was finally getting better. The timing was horrible. I`m in debt and I can`t really afford to travel around. I didn`t sleep for over 36 hours before I arrived at her hospital. She didn`t look very well, but the doctor said that there`s nothing to worry about. I believed in what the doctors told me.

I came back and the decision to succeed in IM grew stronger. I don`t want her to worry about me. I want to be able to support her. My sister has been talking about getting her to London to see some doctors that her boyfriend knows. But none of us have enough money for such a thing. But we have time. That`s what we thought.

This afternoon I read the "what are your goals for 2009" thread. I sat down to re-think my life and set new goals. To be specific about what I want. I have changed. That`s what I thought. Even though my girlfriend doesn`t believe in me. But then, nobody is believing in me anymore. These days, the former apt pupil and the losers that he once despised, how do you distinguish from each other.

My phone rang. It would have rung if I had enough to pay the bills. But I received an email. One of the neighbours` wifi has no password. I`ve become a criminal. Pathetic.

Another emergency case. And things got worse. Everything`s gonna be alright. That`s what I`ve been telling myself for the past few years. That`s how you continue to live despite all the things going on in your life. That`s what I`ve told my mother all the time. That`s what my sister and me were telling each other over and over again. It`s all good. Don`t worry. She has managed well so far, we`ll work hard, save some money and give her a good life. Send her to all the places that she`s wanted to visit, get her the best doctors that we can find, and for once let her enjoy all the things that she`s longed for all her life. Travelling, eating out at good restaurants, enjoying herself. She`s going to be happy, and she will be proud of her children. That`s what we`ve been thinking. That`s what we`ve been telling her and ourselves.

Today I received an email. My sister wrote me the email. Mum`s in hospital. And it doesn`t look good. The doctors don`t think that she will fully recover. It looks as if she will be medicated for the rest of her life. If things go bad, she might never be able to go to a good restaurant and enjoy the food there again. We never took her out to a high-class restaurant.

When I was in highschool, my mother once thought that some little girls told her that she looks like a princess. I knew that she was wrong. The girls meant someone else. But my mother was happy, she said "these girls think that I look like a princess. I haven`t felt that happy in a very long time." I felt embarrased. You don`t talk and think like that as a mother. Watch your age. I told her that she doesn`t look like a princess and the girls meant someone else. But she was just smiling and insisted on her story. I could`ve kept quiet and let her enjoy that moment. But I persisted and told her not to be stupid. She`s not young anymore, nobody would mistake her for a princess. Then she bursted out shouting at me. "Why can`t you just let me enjoy this moment? It doesn`t matter if they meant it or not. I was happy. Nobody has ever told me that I`m a princess." I think that for a moment she hated us all. Not just me, but also my father and my sister. None of us really understood how she felt.

Now she`s lying in a hospital far away from me. And I remember this moment from a long time ago and I feel ashamed. Everybody wants to feel special. When my mother was young, she was probably dreaming about the wonderful that she was going to have. So many dreams that never came true. In these dreams, she was a princess. Then she grew up. And life has buried these dreams deep down a hole.
Decades later, by coincidence she was reminded of this dreams, images of her as a princess. For a moment life seemed to be more beautiful than she has thought possible. And her life seemed to be something special. Then I began to speak.

I`ve also thought that I was something special when I was young. Yet, I have failed miserably in life so far. I`ve always thought that I`d have all the time in the world.

But the truth is, you never know what will happen tomorrow. Life`s not fair to people that don`t understand this. To people like me that can`t cherish the moment, people that don`t feel gratitude for the things they have in life.

Maybe that`s the reason why I`m broke and un-succesful. I feel entitled to rule the world, yet I can`t even show gratitude to the people around me. To the things I have in life.

Time goes by.

There is a last time for everything.

Express for your love for the people that you care for. Don`t take anything for granted. Don`t waste the time that has been given to you.

Don`t discourage people to pursue their dreams, don`t tell people that life is horrible and not worth living. We should try to make this world a better place.

I`m writing things that I would`ve felt embarrassed to write a few years earlier. It`s in my nature to be cynical about anything and everyone. That`s life, you never know what will happen. You might die tomorrow. Saying these things I would`ve laughed.

I`m in no position to laugh about anybody.

Whatever you do, give it your best.

I`m sitting here with tears in my eyes. I should`ve called my sister, but I couldn`t.

I was trying to write some articles, but I didn`t.

Life`s unfair.

That`s what I thought.

You can`t control what`s going on. But I could`ve tried to make best out of my life. And enrich the lives of the people around me. Not necessarily with money, but with warm feelings and faith in a world where people are living their dreams. A world where a woman can be a princess and a man can be a bright, shining knight.

I cant believe some of the responses above, just plain insensitive.

Sorry to hear about this Tommy.

Be strong, life is unfair and unfortunately we all are going to go at some point.

You'll get through this, because you have no choice - life does go on.

All the best.

Life is not fair - life is just life.

I'm not quite 30 years old, and have been diagnosed with osteoarthritis. It will only get worse as I get older. I can slow it down, but can never get rid of it. I am having major knee surgery in about a month's time, and hopefully I can recover from it before my son is born early next year.

THIS DOES NOT DEPRESS ME!

Some of you reading this may wonder why I wouldn't let this get me down (others of you already know the secret).

It is simply this: I AM ALIVE.

I have found that I am responsible for one thing and one thing only. I am responsible for me - my attitude, my actions, my words, my thoughts. These are the only things in life that I have real control over.

We all want to rich, to be successful. We all have different reasons for this, different motivations, different situations and standards of living. We can live in fear of what might happen to us some day in the future, or we can use that fear to propel us forward into living our dreams.

I hate it when I can't help out a friend. However, I use those 'failures' to push myself further so when the next friend is in need, I am able to help.

You cannot give away what you don't have.

We are all born, and we all die. The bit in the middle is called 'life'. Life is what we make of it. My overall goal in life is to help as many people as possible in whatever ways I am able.

Regrets are a powerful demotivator.

If I get caught up in frustration about not being able to help someone, it slows my momentum and I may not be able to help the next.

Don't let other people's situations sap your motivation to move forward. Instead use it as a drive to push you to new successes and perhaps the next time a friend says "I have cancer and I have no idea how to cope". You can do as John is able and say "Let me take care of some of your money worries so you can focus on what is important."

There is no shame in grief - regardless of gender roles. I cried like a baby when I found out my Grandma had breast cancer (5 years ago). All of the family was able to go through the grief process before she passed on (about a month ago). The funeral felt a lot more like rejoicing in her life than in mourning her death.

I apologize if this feels disjointed. I hope you can take something useful out of this post.

No, Tommy, you're showing you're a decent human being.

Sometimes, you just need to know there is more to life than making money. This is a reminder.

Tommy;

Life is not fair...it is sad to here about your friends health problems. But since your concerned for your friends maybe you can give them some time and comfort during their time of need. This would lift both of your spirits.

Hope this helped.