How do YOU choose your friends on a forum?

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I choose my friends carefully. Based on how they present themselves online in the forum and in their business,I have met some great people on here. Still. Would these folks be my friends in the real world? Most would I think or at least I would like to think so.

What do you base your standards on when becoming friends with someone who you don't really know but feel like you do?
-Will
#choose #forum #friends
  • Profile picture of the author Lazy
    It's all about how they present themselves. Just like a salesperson would present themselves.

    If they are warm, and offer useful advice, then being friends is a no brainer.

    If they're an ass, but still offer useful advice, the same thing goes. (Hey Bill)

    If they just spout off nonsense and hateful crap, well the door is right over there, buddy.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mike Hlatky
    Originally Posted by WD Mino View Post

    Would these folks be my friends in the real world?
    I always think that it is funny when people disassociate online and "the real world".

    Anyway, I don't think that I ever go into a forum looking for friends. Plus, I would mainly consider the people that I know co-workers
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    • Profile picture of the author cookingdiva
      In forum or online, you can not see the person, so I go with my gut feeling of that person's writing not only my post or how he/she talks/writes to others. I usually trust most people here are genuine just like in real life. Friendship takes time to be built in real life and online but sometimes everything just clicks right away.
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      • Profile picture of the author Lazy
        Originally Posted by newnoob View Post

        In forum or online, you can not see the person, so I go with my gut feeling of that person's writing not only my post or how he/she talks/writes to others. I usually trust most people here are genuine just like in real life. Friendship takes time to be built in real life and online but sometimes everything just clicks right away.
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  • Profile picture of the author LauraJames
    I agree. It's all about presentation. I realize that some people may consider good grammar and good manners to be "old fashioned," but I value both highly, as do others.
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    • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
      Originally Posted by LauraJames View Post

      I agree. It's all about presentation. I realize that some people may consider good grammar and good manners to be "old fashioned," but I value both highly, as do others.
      Laura:
      This is a good point. People are always watching whether they comment or not and the way you conduct yourself can hurt or help your business.
      This was a good point Old Fashioned is not really what I would call it more of a common decency thing.

      I like this response
      thanks for contributing
      -Will
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    • Profile picture of the author Winwriter
      Originally Posted by LauraJames View Post

      I agree. It's all about presentation. I realize that some people may consider good grammar and good manners to be "old fashioned," but I value both highly, as do others.
      Count me in for the group placing value on good manners! Are parents teaching their kids how to have good manners anymore? I personally love a good "please" or "thank you" when I hear it.
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      • Profile picture of the author pickthat apple
        If grammar, punctuation and spelling are incorrect (don't look at me:rolleyes:...) you cannot understand what the sentence means. As simple as that!!!
        They may be old fashioned all you want, but there has to be a common ground in order for humans to understand each other.
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    • Profile picture of the author CoachTomK
      Laura, I completely agree. In a forum you can't really see there demeanor and intonation in there voice so you have to rely on whatever you see which is there word choice and spelling skills.
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  • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
    Some great responses. Mike that is an interesting perspective.

    -Will
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    • Profile picture of the author ShaneBoyd
      Will...Dude...

      I guess I never really gave it a thought til you brought it up. But, I guess I would friend people on the forum who make me laugh in their posts. I listen to the people who post a lot and tend to help others on the forum for free. (FREE? well...let's be honest. Forum marketing is part of their marketing strategy and they get traffic to their sites via clicks from their sig file...but that's another topic)

      You bring up a good topic here man. You see, I got into the IM game for me, so I never really thought of making friends.

      Come to think of it...I don't really tend to make many friends in the real world either. Hmmm...maybe I'm a loser. Great! I'm a 33 year old loser hoping to make friends in an IM forum. What the hell.:rolleyes:

      But back to your question...their personality comes out in their posts. If they are sarcastic and don't take this $hit here too seriously, then yea, I'd probably friend them online and meet up at marketing seminars and what not.

      But if the person is stuffy, boring, too serious and thinks way too highly of himself...well they he can stick it. Know what I mean?

      Later,

      Shane
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      • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
        Originally Posted by ShaneBoyd View Post

        Will...Dude...

        I guess I never really gave it a thought til you brought it up. But, I guess I would friend people on the forum who make me laugh in their posts. I listen to the people who post a lot and tend to help others on the forum for free. (FREE? well...let's be honest. Forum marketing is part of their marketing strategy and they get traffic to their sites via clicks from their sig file...but that's another topic)

        You bring up a good topic here man. You see, I got into the IM game for me, so I never really thought of making friends.

        Come to think of it...I don't really tend to make many friends in the real world either. Hmmm...maybe I'm a loser. Great! I'm a 33 year old loser hoping to make friends in an IM forum. What the hell.:rolleyes:

        But back to your question...their personality comes out in their posts. If they are sarcastic and don't take this here too seriously, then yea, I'd probably friend them online and meet up at marketing seminars and what not.

        But if the person is stuffy, boring, too serious and thinks way too highly of himself...well they he can stick it. Know what I mean?

        Later,

        Shane
        Shane:
        You are not a loser. 33 or 55 you have a desire to succeed,are helpful and offer some good wisdom in your posts,and most importantly learn and take action.
        I admire that. Having friends is nice but..I have friends who I could also network with and that is something that is priceless to me.

        I think you are alright Shaner be well man!
        -Will
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        • Profile picture of the author Michael Shook
          I look at how they reply to other people. Especially folks that have questions that seem to indicate that there is something they really don't know an dneed help with.

          There are folks here and maybe at other forums as well, that when they write (and this is often in response to someone) seem like they want to score points off one of the previous posts. And I steer clear of those posts if I can.

          I look at their sig files too. If they are filled with testosterone and punk a** jive, I skip them altogether. The way you write in a forum is going to tell people how you are. If you have to tell people how cool or smart or tough you are in your sig file, ther migh tbe an issue with your forum persona.

          I am not talking here about folks writing a post sometimes that sounds whiny or snotty, that kind of thing happens to most everyone sometimes. But doing that as a pattern, no thanks.

          I also look at their forum nickname. This is something everybody chooses for themselves. Sometimes people's description of themselves is truly amazing.

          Nice thread, Will. Thanks for putting it up.
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          • Profile picture of the author BinBinWu
            It will be cool to create Social Network Site for internet marketers
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            • Profile picture of the author bradlean
              I will choose a friend here on forum for those who are not very arrogant.

              and for those who are friendly w/c I prefer.
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  • Profile picture of the author sbucciarel
    Banned
    I would probably be friends with the people on this forum that I really like if we met offline. There's actually quite a few people that I like from the WF. There's even a handful of people that I previously didn't think much of that I like a lot now. There's even some that still push my buttons but I still like them.

    The ones I like have common attributes. There's a ring of truth to their posts ... honesty. They have a good sense of humor and don't take themselves too seriously. There's a level of trust involved as well. These are people I wouldn't hesitate to do business with.
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    • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
      Originally Posted by sbucciarel View Post

      I would probably be friends with the people on this forum that I really like if we met offline. There's actually quite a few people that I like from the WF. There's even a handful of people that I previously didn't think much of that I like a lot now. There's even some that still push my buttons but I still like them.

      The ones I like have common attributes. There's a ring of truth to their posts ... honesty. They have a good sense of humor and don't take themselves too seriously. There's a level of trust involved as well. These are people I wouldn't hesitate to do business with.
      Right on Suzanne,
      This is a good post I appreciate you putting this out here because it gives me something more to consider. The trust thing etc. Thanks for posting it.
      Cheers
      -Will
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  • Profile picture of the author Silas Hart
    My friendships with people usually comes from working with people directly on projects or joint ventures. I've started doing things with people I didn't originally like based on their posts on WF and other forums, but they are completely different people in a instant-messaging type setting. I then would form a pretty good relationship with these people. I don't typically judge people by their grammar online. I know my grammar is a bit butchered but thats because I speak Mandarin a lot through out the day and Chinese grammar and English grammar do not mesh well.
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    • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
      Originally Posted by FaJeeb View Post

      My friendships with people usually comes from working with people directly on projects or joint ventures. I've started doing things with people I didn't originally like based on their posts on WF and other forums, but they are completely different people in a instant-messaging type setting. I then would form a pretty good relationship with these people. I don't typically judge people by their grammar online. I know my grammar is a bit butchered but thats because I speak Mandarin a lot through out the day and Chinese grammar and English grammar do not mesh well.
      Hi fajeeb,
      My grammar lacks many times

      Interesting,so you have actually made friends with people on a one on one basis even though they appeared like a dork in the forum?
      It is true people can be much easier to deal with speaking personally and if you are doing a JV that would be a must for communication etc.
      I like to see how other people think when dealing with people, after all it is a people business we are in
      thanks
      -Will
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  • Profile picture of the author Sheryl Polomka
    Many of my friendships have come about by pure chance I think. I have one friendship that developed in a forum where I was having an argument in a thread that got pretty full on. This other member stuck up for me and was really helpful and we just developed a friendship after that.

    I've also had a couple where people have bought my product through a WSO and have contacted me for help with the product and then it progressed into a friendship.

    So I really think my friendships haven't been as a matter of choosing people based on any criteria, but more of a natural progression into friendship.
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  • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
    WOW,

    Ok these are some awesome responses. I appreciate that people aren't posting-because they are hot:p

    @jay; You are right in your observations about people posting,sometimes they will make a post primarily to get people to look at their sig file. When you do the site is an obvious hack,scam or blatant garbage site.

    @Sheryl,
    That is interesting...so it is not really based on how you perceive the person thus far it is more about how the friendship just sort of led into being. Awesome point.

    @Brad, It is something to consider about being arrogant, Though some people who are rich can be quite arrogant or someone who is full of themselves what you said serves as proof in my eyes that how you conduct yourself really does make or break you. I remember a couple threads when I first was coming here that I went off a bit on and it indeed did hurt me.

    Thanks folks these are fantastic responses. It is nice to see other perspectives on a subject that intrigued me.
    Thanks for contributing to it
    -Will
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  • Profile picture of the author Lazy
    I bumped this, because some of you need more friends. Also, Will is rad.

    Carry on.
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    • Profile picture of the author Giani
      Read the posts and be friends to people who have same interests.
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  • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
    LOL.
    Lazy you are a card sometimes:p

    Interesting topic though I always love to know what makes people tick.
    -Will
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  • Profile picture of the author Syamsul Alam
    Hm...

    Anyone who don't take anything too seriously is my criteria on making friends.

    Good thread, funny post, willing to spare their time to answer newbie question (like me) when asked in this forum.

    One more thing, someone who got bad grammar like me, so I don't feel alone in this forum.

    Signature as a consideration? I'm not gonna take his/her signature too far. I know that they are marketer, trying to make some money for their life, they come to this forum to discuss thing, and show their signature so they can get click and sales.

    Well, nice reply even in hot threads is also my consideration in making friends.

    I come to conclusion that calm people is usually smart people because they know they have back up on what they said. Well... I think that is my consideration when choosing friend in this forum.

    Willing to be my friends, Mino?
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    • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
      Originally Posted by alampintar View Post

      Hm...

      Anyone who don't take anything too seriously is my criteria on making friends.

      Good thread, funny post, willing to spare their time to answer newbie question (like me) when asked in this forum.

      One more thing, someone who got bad grammar like me, so I don't feel alone in this forum.

      Signature as a consideration? I'm not gonna take his/her signature too far. I know that they are marketer, trying to make some money for their life, they come to this forum to discuss thing, and show their signature so they can get click and sales.

      Well, nice reply even in hot threads is also my consideration in making friends.

      I come to conclusion that calm people is usually smart people because they know they have back up on what they said. Well... I think that is my consideration when choosing friend in this forum.

      Willing to be my friends, Mino?
      Hi,
      This is a well thought out response. Thanks for taking the time to share it.

      Do I want to be your friend? Sure we can be friends but the reason for the thread is to see what perception people go by when making these kinds of decisions. Not to get friends as I said I am careful who I add as a friend.
      Thanks for taking the time to respond
      Cheers
      -Will
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      • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
        Originally Posted by WD Mino View Post

        I choose my friends carefully. Based on how they present themselves online in the forum and in their business,I have met some great people on here. Still. Would these folks be my friends in the real world? Most would I think or at least I would like to think so.

        What do you base your standards on when becoming friends with someone who you don't really know but feel like you do?
        -Will
        I'm assuming you're talking about people we interact with, and not the "friends list" function of the Warrior Forum. Correct me if I'm wrong.

        Having said that, I think I just naturally gravitate toward some people. I don't recall ever consciously making a choice. There are many qualities I gravitate toward, such as intelligence, humor, kindness, helpfulness, reason, etc.

        I think I'd get along offline with everyone I'm friends with online. Maybe not "hang out together" every night kind of friends, but I think we'd get along well and socialize at least occasionally.

        Originally Posted by BinBinWu View Post

        It will be cool to create Social Network Site for internet marketers
        I think the Warrior Forum serves in that role to a fair degree. Wouldn't you agree?
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        • Profile picture of the author Lazy
          Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

          I think the Warrior Forum serves in that role to a fair degree. Wouldn't you agree?
          agreed. The last thing we need is a social network with MORE ADS.
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        • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
          Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

          I'm assuming you're talking about people we interact with, and not the "friends list" function of the Warrior Forum. Correct me if I'm wrong.

          Having said that, I think I just naturally gravitate toward some people. I don't recall ever consciously making a choice. There are many qualities I gravitate toward, such as intelligence, humor, kindness, helpfulness, reason, etc.

          I think I'd get along offline with everyone I'm friends with online. Maybe not "hang out together" every night kind of friends, but I think we'd get along well and socialize at least occasionally.



          I think the Warrior Forum serves in that role to a fair degree. Wouldn't you agree?

          Hey D,
          I think I follow you exactly more of a drawn to thing or gravitate as you say.
          I too think I could hang out at least occasionally with my online friends. Mainly because they have like character in many ways.
          Thanks for your response I am proud to call you my friend oh Boogie one:p
          -Will
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  • Profile picture of the author Steve Wells
    Honestly, I was wondering what the usefulness of the friend thingy is on the WF, where someone can be your friend?
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  • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
    Hi Steve,
    valid question.
    One thing about making friends with others is it allows for a comradery to be extended and a friendship to ensue. As sheryl says some of her dealings just sort of led into it.

    It is a great way to network with likeminded people whom you can relate to for whatever reason.

    -Will
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  • Profile picture of the author alcymart
    Isn't it more like "contacts" or in my case "students"?

    I met 2 real friends online in which we became close in real life. One of them happens to live not too far from where I live. 30km away

    I met people on forums but mostly on Yahoo messenger that became virtual friends, quite many actually.

    I prefer saying contacts or business contacts until we got to know each other better, then friend but a virtual one at that. The others simply live too far to actually build a real life viable friendship.

    Take care,

    Bernard St-Pierre
    Marketing Consultant
    Copywriter/Teacher
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  • Profile picture of the author CyberSorcerer
    My friendships usually just happen over several chatting, correspondences, personal meetings, seminars, etc.

    I'm pretty open with my opinions and thoughts and not everyone can appreciate that. Being friends with anyone is fine with me but I give honest opinions when asked, even if those opinions might hurt your feelings.

    But personally, to me, trust and honesty. There important!
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  • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
    Very true Matt that is good advice, People according to the police, even are becoming harder to spot because of the professional looking sites they have people get duped etc. That is good advice you just offered.
    Cheers
    -Will
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  • Profile picture of the author profitsforall
    Can you choose your friends on here?

    How on earth do you approach people without appearing like some psycho stalker.

    How do you know that you aren't just a nuisance to someone who gets hundreds of PM's from folks similar to yourself every day.

    I've made friends on here in the past - but that was due to a local area warrior meet up.

    Maybe it's my Brit reserve, but I'd hate to be bothersome, so rather than risk that I do nothing.
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    • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
      Originally Posted by profitsforall View Post

      Can you choose your friends on here?

      How on earth do you approach people without appearing like some psycho stalker.

      How do you know that you aren't just a nuisance to someone who gets hundreds of PM's from folks similar to yourself every day.

      I've made friends on here in the past - but that was due to a local area warrior meet up.

      Maybe it's my Brit reserve, but I'd hate to be bothersome, so rather than risk that I do nothing.
      I have had extensions for friendship and I have extended it as well.
      You have nothing to fear in approaching people if you have a connection with someone,think they offer value and have similar interests or whatever ,you don't even need to pm people you can click on the persons name and say add to contacts. They will get a request notice and either accept or not.

      Hope that encourages you
      cheers
      -Will
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    • Profile picture of the author Matt Morgan
      Originally Posted by profitsforall View Post

      Can you choose your friends on here?
      You can choose your forum friends, but you can't choose your family
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      • Profile picture of the author profitsforall
        Originally Posted by Matt Morgan View Post

        You can choose your forum friends, but you can't choose your family
        True - but you can always move to another country
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  • Profile picture of the author Leslie B
    I don't really choose friends, it just kind of happens LOL. You start talking, things click, and after a few days you're emailing back and forth each days just talking about all kinds of stuff, not only IM related.

    I guess sometimes you just find someone you're comfortable with and you enjoy talking too, whether it's offline or online.

    Leslie
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    • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
      Originally Posted by Leslie B View Post

      I don't really choose friends, it just kind of happens LOL. You start talking, things click, and after a few days you're emailing back and forth each days just talking about all kinds of stuff, not only IM related.

      I guess sometimes you just find someone you're comfortable with and you enjoy talking too, whether it's offline or online.

      Leslie
      Hi Leslie,
      That is a fantastic definition. And really that is what it is all about being comfortable with people who have likewise interests etc. That is also good you pointed out not only related in the IM stuff.
      Thanks for sharing that I enjoyed reading it
      cheers
      -Will
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    • Profile picture of the author wanna-succeed
      Preferably by common interests.
      I tend to get close to writers than I do to programmers for that matter.
      No offense programmers! It aint personal
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  • Profile picture of the author Andrea Wilson
    I usually take people who answers with sense as a good poster but a friend is a different matter. I just PM people whom I like to be friends with especially if we are sharing same passions in certain type of niches etc...

    Andrea
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    • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
      Originally Posted by Andrea Wilson View Post

      I usually take people who answers with sense as a good poster but a friend is a different matter. I just PM people whom I like to be friends with especially if we are sharing same passions in certain type of niches etc...

      Andrea
      O.K. so you would approach people who have similar interests as you and go by that . Awesome so there seems to be a trend with the similar likes and interests. Thanks for participating
      -Will
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  • Profile picture of the author Lazy
    Will, do you ever sleep?!
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  • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
    Yup. I sleep 4-6 hrs every day:p

    Right now just unwinding had to rewrite my sales letter for one of my main products as it is not converting as well as it should. So I show being online but I am doing other things as well. But now I am unwinding:p
    Thanks for asking
    -Will
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    • Profile picture of the author Syamsul Alam
      Originally Posted by WD Mino View Post

      Yup. I sleep 4-6 hrs every day:p

      Right now just unwinding had to rewrite my sales letter for one of my main products as it is not converting as well as it should. So I show being online but I am doing other things as well. But now I am unwinding:p
      Thanks for asking
      -Will
      You should focus on your sales letter, finish it, then reward yourself by wandering in this forum... (I should use that advice for myself...)
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  • Profile picture of the author CDarklock
    Originally Posted by WD Mino View Post

    I choose my friends carefully.
    I don't. Everyone is my friend until they demonstrate otherwise.
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    "The Golden Town is the Golden Town no longer. They have sold their pillars for brass and their temples for money, they have made coins out of their golden doors. It is become a dark town full of trouble, there is no ease in its streets, beauty has left it and the old songs are gone." - Lord Dunsany, The Messengers
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  • Profile picture of the author jasonmorgan
    A little story to add some perspective...

    I have a friend who happens to spend far too much time at a particular bar. Due to the amount of time he spends at this bar the bartenders give him great deals on drinks. In return he tips them very well.

    He considers the bartenders to be friends.

    I asked him, do any of those bartenders ever call you on their days off and want to hang out?

    No.

    They are not your friends.
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    • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
      Originally Posted by jasonmorgan View Post

      A little story to add some perspective...

      I have a friend who happens to spend far too much time at a particular bar. Due to the amount of time he spends at this bar the bartenders give him great deals on drinks. In return he tips them very well.

      He considers the bartenders to be friends.

      I asked him, do any of those bartenders ever call you on their days off and want to hang out?

      No.

      They are not your friends.
      AHa so these guys act friendly because it is at their workplace but they are not real friends because they do not associate outside of the workplace. Jason that is something I was waiting to hear. This is something that I would do at work (I bounced for a few yrs) You would be kind often times buy them drinks etc but I would not have them at my home or go for a meal.

      Thanks for that
      -Will
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  • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
    Hey CD, That is definitely a different answer. So everyone deserves the benefit of the friendship until they prove they are unworthy.
    And here I felt special:p
    Cheers
    -Will
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    • Profile picture of the author CDarklock
      Originally Posted by WD Mino View Post

      And here I felt special:p
      But you are, Will. Don't you understand that? Everyone is.
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  • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
    Thanks CD I feel oh so good now:p
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  • Profile picture of the author raybeam
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    • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
      Originally Posted by raybeam View Post

      Good thread. Online and offline are very different things. Just joined and havenĀ“t befriended many people yet, but I guess you would try to make out if the person behind the post is honest and if the person cares only of him/herself or actually wants to help you out when you need help.
      Hi,
      Welcome to the forum. You will get the feel for who is good,helpful etc... no rush.
      You bring up a great point and that is if the person is Honest and cares, that has a lot of bearing on my own decisions.
      Thanks for contributing and welcome
      -Will
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  • Profile picture of the author paulie888
    It'd be based on how they present themselves, and interact with others on this forum. I'd apply the "real world" test here, and ask myself whether these are people I'd want to associate with offline in the real world. If the answer is yes, then it's pretty clear how I'd proceed next.
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    • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
      Originally Posted by paulie888 View Post

      It'd be based on how they present themselves, and interact with others on this forum. I'd apply the "real world" test here, and ask myself whether these are people I'd want to associate with offline in the real world. If the answer is yes, then it's pretty clear how I'd proceed next.
      Hi Paul,

      I like this analogy and this is close to what my own reasoning is.
      I always think to myself-"Would I be able to sit down and actually relate to this person'
      Thanks Paul.
      Glad to know your thoughts here
      cheers
      -Will
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  • Profile picture of the author Orator
    Interesting thread.

    There are people who on this forum I respect, and admire their knowledge, experience, and willingness to help people. I never did really think about trying to make close personal friends though.

    I try to help out when I can, and be a good community member but the value I get out of this community is more for my financial sake.
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    • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
      Originally Posted by Orator View Post

      Interesting thread.

      There are people who on this forum I respect, and admire their knowledge, experience, and willingness to help people. I never did really think about trying to make close personal friends though.

      I try to help out when I can, and be a good community member but the value I get out of this community is more for my financial sake.
      Yeah that is ok too right I mean we are here to learn,apply and multiply our earnings. I like that you mention the qualities of some folks you could respect that gives an open door for potential friendships
      cheers
      -Will
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  • Profile picture of the author unbrokenspirit
    I prefer other members which is kind, helpful, and our thoughts closedly related..

    In social networking, if i have some friends in real world with intense meets, we usually less talk on net.
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  • Profile picture of the author jasonmorgan
    Just want to throw out something that I never see mentioned here... Teamwork.

    Now this isn't exactly friendship but I've never see any mention of, or people looking to work together.

    I don't mean this in a JV way, that is a scratch my back and I'll scratch yours business approach.

    What I mean is, If I can create killer websites and you can write great articles, together we could rule the internet. Working together and focusing on what each of us is good at, we can cover more ground at a faster pace and put out a higher quality product.

    Outsourcing does remove the need for a business partner but is your outsourced worker really as enthusiastic or even give a damn about you or your product? You stop paying, they stop working.

    Most successful businesses I can think of are not just one guy, why should an online business be any different?

    Teamwork... it's like you +1

    You might even make a new friend out of it, or an enemy for life
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    • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
      Originally Posted by jasonmorgan View Post

      Just want to throw out something that I never see mentioned here... Teamwork.

      Now this isn't exactly friendship but I've never see any mention of, or people looking to work together.

      I don't mean this in a JV way, that is a scratch my back and I'll scratch yours business approach.

      What I mean is, If I can create killer websites and you can write great articles, together we could rule the internet. Working together and focusing on what each of us is good at, we can cover more ground at a faster pace and put out a higher quality product.

      Outsourcing does remove the need for a business partners but is your outsourced worker really as enthusiastic or even give a damn about you or your product? You stop paying, they stop working.

      Most successful businesses I can think of are not just one guy, why should an online business be any different?

      Teamwork... it's like you +1

      You might even make a new friend out of it, or an enemy for life
      I hear ya but this is not really on topic. The question is how do YOU choose your friends on a forum. I will go along with ya though..
      Partnering up with someone for the sake of a product launch could in fact turn into a lasting friendship. It also can turn into and does a lot of times result in being a huge headache and if you have contracts that is even more of an issue. I would not usually go a partnership route with a friend unless that friend is someone I had already built a relationship with and would compliment my own skills.

      Good contribution Jason
      that is my thoughts
      -Will
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    • Profile picture of the author sal64
      Here's why you don't see it: Scarcity Mindset.

      I agree with your views 100%.

      As for the OP... I don't set out to make friends. I have working relationships and beyond that... time will tell.


      Originally Posted by jasonmorgan View Post

      Just want to throw out something that I never see mentioned here... Teamwork.

      Now this isn't exactly friendship but I've never see any mention of, or people looking to work together.

      I don't mean this in a JV way, that is a scratch my back and I'll scratch yours business approach.

      What I mean is, If I can create killer websites and you can write great articles, together we could rule the internet. Working together and focusing on what each of us is good at, we can cover more ground at a faster pace and put out a higher quality product.

      Outsourcing does remove the need for a business partner but is your outsourced worker really as enthusiastic or even give a damn about you or your product? You stop paying, they stop working.

      Most successful businesses I can think of are not just one guy, why should an online business be any different?

      Teamwork... it's like you +1

      You might even make a new friend out of it, or an enemy for life
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  • Profile picture of the author Keith Everett
    I think people become friends over time, this isn't instant Dating lol... I have made many friends online simply because we just clicked (no pun intended).

    If you have something in common with someone and you enjoy the banter then why not make the first move and "friend them up"... they could end up being a lifelong friend (or a pain in the ass) just like offline friends..

    Keith
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    • Profile picture of the author paulie888
      Originally Posted by kweb777 View Post

      I think people become friends over time, this isn't instant Dating lol... I have made many friends online simply because we just clicked (no pun intended).

      If you have something in common with someone and you enjoy the banter then why not make the first move and "friend them up"... they could end up being a lifelong friend (or a pain in the ass) just like offline friends..

      Keith
      Exactly, why should the process of friend-making somehow be accelerated because it is done over the internet? LOL

      If anything, it should be a slower process as there is much less interaction in a forum than one would have meeting a stranger face to face for a few hours. With that said, there'll always be some friendships that "click" and occur very quickly - just like in real life.
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  • Profile picture of the author sitecrawler
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    I would choose them by the number of the posts and of course the quality of the posts.
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  • Profile picture of the author Fernando Veloso
    Originally Posted by WD Mino View Post

    What do you base your standards on when becoming friends with someone who you don't really know but feel like you do?
    -Will
    As long they enjoy surf/bodyboard, barbecues/beer and partying?

    :p
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  • Profile picture of the author 82ana
    Humor and humanity is always good to see in forum posters but these won't be the sole characteristics that help me choose friends online. It depends on a lot of things, maybe someone is helpful (not just to me), they have a zany dp, a cool signature, have great opinions, or maybe i'm in a good mood etc.

    Like in life, its a mixture of many things.

    I'm hardly friends with anyone on this forum but I really respect several of you kids, if not for anything else than just for the hard work you do every day.

    Cheers,
    Sana
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  • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
    Hi Everyone,

    Some interesting perspectives being shared here some are saying working relationships only. Well that is NOT what the thread is about so you get: an A for effort

    See offline people will make friends for a variety of reasons
    1)They like the way someone looks.
    2)They have common interests-shooting pool,going to clubs,golf, Stuff like that they could do together.-fun stuff I don't work with my friends I relax with them:p

    3)They like that the person is popular and can help boost their own status if they hang out(I saw this a LOT in the bar scene) better known as borrowed credibility which is also a marketing strategy -As seen on: Associated with:non profit clubs like the Lions-that is borrowed credibility

    4)They make friends based on faith similarity i.e. go to the same church or venue as them

    5)People make friends because of status in society hoping to gain financially.
    Some of the responses like Sal and Jason would fall into this category Working relationships/partnerships are only there to increase the bottom line and as I said most of the time are a waste of time. Unless you can find the right one it is more headache than it is worth.

    So what I see in the responses offered is that the mindset though online seems similar.

    I appreciate folks taking the time to respond.
    cheers
    -Will
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  • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
    Errm thanks for that awesome contribution:rolleyes:
    What exactly does a whine have to do with how you choose friends:confused:
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    • Profile picture of the author pickthat apple
      Originally Posted by WD Mino View Post

      Errm thanks for that awesome contribution:rolleyes:
      What exactly does a whine have to do with how you choose friends:confused:
      Sorry for the OT.
      Regarding your question. You can get to know a person quite well on a forum and indeed something can click (eheh)...
      On this particular forum I would possibly choose them because in the whole forum and of those posts that I read, the name of the same person keeps recurring, so therefore there must be an interest from my part in what he/she writes. But I must say that I am interested in quite a variety of posts, so I would have to have a long list...
      I haven't looked at this "friend" function yet. Can you actually follow their posts if one is your friend?
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      • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
        Originally Posted by pickthat Apple View Post

        Sorry for the OT.
        Regarding your question. You can get to know a person quite well on a forum and indeed something can click (eheh)...
        On this particular forum I would possibly choose them because in the whole forum and of those posts that I read, the name of the same person keeps recurring, so therefore there must be an interest from my part in what he/she writes. But I must say that I am interested in quite a variety of posts, so I would have to have a long list...
        I haven't looked at this "friend" function yet. Can you actually follow their posts if one is your friend?
        Thank you for taking the time to post.

        You can always look at someone's posts by clicking on their name going to their profile and clicking statistics,all posts by-persons name

        It is important to not just friend people but know where they are coming from or at least how they present themselves and if you have things in common etc like you mentioned similar interests.

        Sometimes things are not what they seem with people so it is always good to see how they conduct themselves in different situations.
        Cheers
        -Will
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  • Profile picture of the author Dan C. Rinnert
    Originally Posted by WD Mino View Post

    What do you base your standards on when becoming friends with someone who you don't really know but feel like you do?
    Online, "friend" has become almost a meaningless word. In most cases, they are more like casual acquaintances than actual friends. I think the social networks and forums and such have really muddied the word. Or, maybe we've done it by "friending" anyone and everyone--and by "we" I don't just mean marketers.

    So, I'm easy. Someone sends me a friend request and I generally approve it unless they're an obvious spammer. And, if they do prove to be a spammer, well, at least on the WF, the problem takes care of itself when they get themselves banned so I don't have to worry about defriending them.
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    • Profile picture of the author tpw
      Originally Posted by Dan C. Rinnert View Post

      So, I'm easy. Someone sends me a friend request and I generally approve it unless they're an obvious spammer.

      I also approve most all of the people who have requested to friend me. Spammers have never really tried to friend me.

      But to verify that I am an equal opportunity friender, I approved the request for that person who has been stalking me all over the web for a few months now...

      The Kool-Aid Klan seems to be very interested in watching what I do online. LOL
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      • Profile picture of the author dereksemmler
        I'd almost say that I have a tiered approach to the manner in which I choose the people I want to have as forum friends. Keep in mind though that this all typically happens in an organic way. I don't have a systematic approach to searching out friends.

        First, I generally have an acceptance of everyone until someone violates that in some fashion. Typically people violate that acceptance when I see them being rude or hurtful (to me or others) or spamming far too often. Acceptance and being friends are different beasts, but if you violate my acceptance you can be sure we won't become friends.

        After acceptance, I tend to look at how people interact with others and how they present themselves. When I recognize people that go out of their way to help someone else, I want to know that person better as that is something that I value. When that person doesn't expect a reward in return for their help, forget about it - sign me up. Helping others when you have nothing to gain is a rare trait (although seems fairly common around these parts.) Is the person honest and open? Do they stand behind their word? Yes, then that is the type of person that I want to have as a friend.

        It might seem odd but personal interests really don't play as much of a role for me. However, I have noticed that people that I do identify as someone I want to have as a friend often have similar interests as me. It is funny how that works out. While not forum friends, I made a number of blog friends over the last few years and when we all met in person at a conference it carried forward into the offline world and there were a lot of shared interests even though these were never really identified in our online conversations.

        Great thread, thanks for starting the discussion!
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        • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
          Originally Posted by dereksemmler View Post

          I'd almost say that I have a tiered approach to the manner in which I choose the people I want to have as forum friends. Keep in mind though that this all typically happens in an organic way. I don't have a systematic approach to searching out friends.

          First, I generally have an acceptance of everyone until someone violates that in some fashion. Typically people violate that acceptance when I see them being rude or hurtful (to me or others) or spamming far too often. Acceptance and being friends are different beasts, but if you violate my acceptance you can be sure we won't become friends.

          After acceptance, I tend to look at how people interact with others and how they present themselves. When I recognize people that go out of their way to help someone else, I want to know that person better as that is something that I value. When that person doesn't expect a reward in return for their help, forget about it - sign me up. Helping others when you have nothing to gain is a rare trait (although seems fairly common around these parts.) Is the person honest and open? Do they stand behind their word? Yes, then that is the type of person that I want to have as a friend.

          It might seem odd but personal interests really don't play as much of a role for me. However, I have noticed that people that I do identify as someone I want to have as a friend often have similar interests as me. It is funny how that works out. While not forum friends, I made a number of blog friends over the last few years and when we all met in person at a conference it carried forward into the offline world and there were a lot of shared interests even though these were never really identified in our online conversations.

          Great thread, thanks for starting the discussion!
          WOW!
          This is a very well put response. You took time to answer so I will take time to respond.

          I am in full agreement with you. It is much the same as if I was to meet someone offline. Which potentially could happen.
          People who are selfless rather then selfish are more apt to put another person's needs ahead of their own. Taking time out to answer questions,being an encouragement to folks who are struggling and making someones day a little bit brighter are admirable traits.

          People who lie will do it offline as well as online. When they present themselves or position themselves in a manner where they use tactics to gain trust and then prove that they were full of it makes me Angry.
          I like what you said about the being accepted until proven you cannot be trusted. That is huge and something I have not read yet until now. Although I think CD was getting at that as well.

          The important thing I look at is if these people are genuine phony bolony's can stick to their group of phony bolony's. You will not see me friends with anyone who lies or cheats others for their own personal gain.

          People seem to forget that what goes around comes around and it is a small world the person they rip off might be a 6"7 400 lb monster who will drive to their place and in no uncertain terms let em know why they shouldn't do that People who are honest and genuine are the only ones worth any kind of investment at all
          Cheers
          -Will
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          • Profile picture of the author dereksemmler
            Originally Posted by WD Mino View Post

            WOW! This is a very well put response. You took time to answer so I will take time to respond.
            Thank you; your reply is appreciated and the fact that you took the time to digest my thoughts shows me that you're the type of person that I would gravitate towards.

            Originally Posted by WD Mino View Post

            People seem to forget that what goes around comes around and it is a small world the person they rip off might be a 6"7 400 lb monster who will drive to their place and in no uncertain terms let em know why they shouldn't do that People who are honest and genuine are the only ones worth any kind of investment at all
            Hey, I resemble that remark. Well, not quite that tall and big but...

            One thing I forgot to mention is that I tend to be giving with my time and expertise to others until they give me a reason not to. Some people will recognize that giving trait and try to take advantage of it. Once someone has given me the reason not to give and not to trust them, I don't blow up (usually, heh) but instead take peace in the fact that eventually their tactics will blow up in their face.

            Thanks again for this thread and for taking the time to reply!
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            • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
              Originally Posted by dereksemmler View Post

              Thank you; your reply is appreciated and the fact that you took the time to digest my thoughts shows me that you're the type of person that I would gravitate towards.



              Hey, I resemble that remark. Well, not quite that tall and big but...

              One thing I forgot to mention is that I tend to be giving with my time and expertise to others until they give me a reason not to. Some people will recognize that giving trait and try to take advantage of it. Once someone has given me the reason not to give and not to trust them, I don't blow up (usually, heh) but instead take peace in the fact that eventually their tactics will blow up in their face.

              Thanks again for this thread and for taking the time to reply!
              I have found similar things when helping others. The thing is that it is hard to draw a line right, I mean people sometimes want you to do things for them.

              I draw the line there. I love to help,share some wisdom i have gained through experience or whatever but I have had people try and monopolize my time, at that point I have to say.

              I am sorry but if you want to continue on you will need to pay 300.00 an hr for my consulting services I have done all I can to help you I have my own business to run so if you wish to continue those are the terms.
              no emails anymore
              Cheers
              -Will
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              • Profile picture of the author dereksemmler
                Originally Posted by WD Mino View Post

                I have found similar things when helping others. The thing is that it is hard to draw a line right, I mean people sometimes want you to do things for them.

                I draw the line there. I love to help,share some wisdom i have gained through experience or whatever but I have had people try and monopolize my time, at that point I have to say.

                I am sorry but if you want to continue on you will need to pay 300.00 an hr for my consulting services I have done all I can to help you I have my own business to run so if you wish to continue those are the terms.
                no emails anymore
                Cheers
                -Will
                That is a tough one for me. I've been known to spend hours helping someone with a coding issue that found their way to my blog and I offered to help answer a questions. Before I realize what I'm doing, I've got a temporary account to their server and I am fixing their site for them. Generally speaking as long as I get a thank you from the person I am okay.

                Only one time did I reach my tipping point in a scenario like that. I offered to redesign someone's site for basically a value meal. After weeks of tweaks and revisions, more tweaks and revisions to the revisions, I finally had to draw the line in the sand and said I've provided everything we originally agreed upon and anything else would have to be charged at an hourly rate. He stopped talking to me real quick after that.

                Now please excuse me while I go drool over that hourly rate for a few minutes.
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                • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
                  Originally Posted by dereksemmler View Post

                  That is a tough one for me. I've been known to spend hours helping someone with a coding issue that found their way to my blog and I offered to help answer a questions. Before I realize what I'm doing, I've got a temporary account to their server and I am fixing their site for them. Generally speaking as long as I get a thank you from the person I am okay.

                  Only one time did I reach my tipping point in a scenario like that. I offered to redesign someone's site for basically a value meal. After weeks of tweaks and revisions, more tweaks and revisions to the revisions, I finally had to draw the line in the sand and said I've provided everything we originally agreed upon and anything else would have to be charged at an hourly rate. He stopped talking to me real quick after that.

                  Now please excuse me while I go drool over that hourly rate for a few minutes.
                  It is funny how when you bring up the dollars Derek that things suddenly go from urgent to -well-not at all LOL

                  What kind of code do you write?
                  -Will
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                  • Profile picture of the author dereksemmler
                    Originally Posted by WD Mino View Post

                    It is funny how when you bring up the dollars Derek that things suddenly go from urgent to -well-not at all LOL

                    What kind of code do you write?
                    -Will
                    At the day job I had been doing primarily Java development but I've been moved to a PM role so I don't get to write too much code there anymore. In my work on the IM / blogging side of things I do mostly PHP.
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  • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
    Thanks for popping in Dan Always enjoy your posts.
    This gives an entirely different perspective. I never considered about the muddying stuff I think you have a valid point in saying that. Lots of people on my friends list I chat with outside the forum but the relationship started with the forum.

    Anyhow I appreciate your thoughts here
    thanks
    -Will
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  • Profile picture of the author samkak
    similar interests and a good human,is what i look for.
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