You Will Attract More Flies With "Honey", Than You Will With Vinegar

by tpw
22 replies
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The inspiration for this story shall remain anonymous, to protect the silly in mind.



We all tend to have pet names for our spouses. I call my wife, "mom".

My wife always calls me, "honey".

It is so cute when my 3yo is trying to get my attention, he puts a hand on each side of my head and turns my face to him, and he yells, "Honey!!"

But in these cases, we are talking about "terms of endearment" -- names that intimate couples share between each other.



Outside the home, certain terms used in describing people are condescending in nature, and should not be used in a professional environment.

For example: honey, dear, sweetheart, sugar, love, etc.

When a man calls a woman he barely knows, "honey" and proceeds to explain why "she" is wrong, who can derive anything from that conversation that suggests anything less than he thinks himself better and/or smarter than her.

Honey has no place in a professional environment, unless you are making a sandwich in the office lunch room, or two professionals in the building are sneaking off to share "private time" together in the broom closet.

When a man calls a woman he barely knows "honey" in a public forum, then starts to berate her when she takes issue with it, he is only showing the world how much of a male chauvinist pig he really is...

And to do so in a professional online environment screams, "Amateur!!!"

I strongly suspect that this is a case of "nerds hiding behind computer keyboards."

Would this person or any other "professional" behave this way in a face-to-face meeting?

I doubt it...



Am I saying that we should all strive to play more nice?

Certainly not.


Any bad behavior that is allowed to be repeated without reprimand is behavior that will soon become the norm.

Within this forum, other forums, and in my daily life, I strive to treat people with kindness and respect, up until the point where they show themselves unworthy of such respect.

People who demand respect, but show no respect to others, will be introduced to the public smack-down. And I am happy to be that stick.

If that makes me a jerk, then so be it...

But maybe when you learn to treat others with decency and respect, you will begin to see the same from us... :rolleyes:

Until then, the best you can hope to expect is flies (trolls) swarming to consume you and your "honey".
#behavior #courtesy #professional advice #respect #terms of endearment
  • Profile picture of the author Patrician
    Very good points and so true for the most part -

    However, who wants flies?

    (so cute about your baby, Mr. Honey)
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    • Profile picture of the author VanessaB
      Nice post Bill. I skimmed the part about playing nice.

      It's not about playing nice. It's about being resepectful and professional.

      -Dani
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    • Profile picture of the author Christina Osorio
      Bill I have to say that your words ring very true. In main stream business there are policies that exist to cover such areas.

      Sexual harassment in the workplace is taken very seriously and can often result in life-changing consequences. Because we work on the internet it is often forgotten that these rules and regulations do indeed apply to us as well.

      Besides the common sense aspect of just being nice to each other that anyone but an AMATEUR would instinctively apply;there are reputations to build and protect. In this business that is gold.

      I recently encountered an unfortunate situation similar to one you describe and am embarrassed to say that it was at the hands of one of our fellow IMers. I was extended an apology which BLAMED me for the situation and futher apologized for not getting to his ASSISTANT so that SHE could extend the apology to me. Reluctantly said marketer then apologized himself in the end blaming me for the situation.

      Maybe someone should do a webinar on Marketing Maturity
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      • Profile picture of the author AnitaCross
        Originally Posted by Christina Osorio View Post

        Maybe someone should do a webinar on Marketing Maturity
        I'm afraid those who need it, would not be the ones to show up.

        Maturity isn't defined by age, either. I've met teens that show more maturity than some pushing retirement age.

        Maturity is a learned trait, and some people never learn.

        That said, if someone wants to be successful in business, learning to act professional towards other business people is a must. Period. Behaving any other way may work for a time, but eventually will push away the very contacts you need for your business to prosper and grow.

        You can't make money pissing off your prospective customers, and you can't "build bridges" pissing off your peers.

        It just isn't a viable business model.

        Regardless of your age.

        -Anita
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    • Profile picture of the author VanessaB
      Originally Posted by Patrician View Post

      Very good points and so true for the most part -

      However, who wants flies?

      (so cute about your baby, Mr. Honey)
      Fisherman. So they can tell their fishing 'stories'.

      -Dani
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    • Profile picture of the author myob
      Originally Posted by Patrician View Post

      Very good points and so true for the most part -

      However, who wants flies?

      (so cute about your baby, Mr. Honey)
      If all you want is more flies, there certainly are things that work much better than spreading around honey.
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      • Profile picture of the author seasoned
        Originally Posted by myob View Post

        If all you want is more flies, there certainly are things that work much better than spreading around honey.
        Who knows, flies might like vinegar BETTER! They LOVE rotting stuff, and vinegar MIGHT impart that.

        Steve
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        • Profile picture of the author myob
          This subject requires some further study. Perhaps a split test for the affinity of flies for;

          1). Honey
          2). Vinegar
          3). Bull s**t

          Sorry, Bill. Nice post bro, but your research really sucks.
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          • Profile picture of the author seasoned
            Originally Posted by myob View Post

            This subject requires some further study. Perhaps a split test for the affinity of flies for;

            1). Honey
            2). Vinegar
            3). Bull s**t

            Sorry, Bill. Nice post bro, but your research really sucks.

            #3 would be the CLEAR winner!
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  • Profile picture of the author Lisa Gergets
    We all tend to have pet names for our spouses. I call my wife, "mom".
    I call my husband "Daddy"...wait did I just say that out loud? Guess that's a story for another time.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mohammad Afaq
    Bill, can I please borrow your brain for a day?

    I would love to have that writing ability
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  • Profile picture of the author Lisa Gergets
    VERY well said, Anita - thank you.
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    • Profile picture of the author AnitaCross
      Originally Posted by Lisa Gergets View Post

      VERY well said, Anita - thank you.
      You're welcome.

      When you're on the receiving end of an immature smack-down from some youthful know-it-all, it's easy to forget that immature know-it-alls exist in every age bracket.

      I just pointed it out in a modest attempt to keep this thread focused on our off topic...

      From the looks of the last few posts, I've failed miserably.

      -Anita
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      • Profile picture of the author AnitaCross
        Originally Posted by tpw View Post

        I strongly suspect that this is a case of "nerds hiding behind computer keyboards."

        Would this person or any other "professional" behave this way in a face-to-face meeting?
        Originally Posted by seasoned View Post

        I fit a LOT of the stereotypes for programmers, etc.... SO, on behalf of ALL such people.....

        You are WILDLY *****WRONG*****!
        Perhaps "Nerds" was the wrong choice of words. However, the anonymity of the internet does provide the illusion that one can verbally attack another without repercussions.

        Of course, it's only an illusion, and I'm thinking the true nerds are more aware of that than the Average Joe (or Jane) using the internet for community interaction.

        As for "Professionals" behaving poorly offline... well, they may have the title, but they sure aren't professional.

        From one Nerd to another,
        -Anita
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        • Profile picture of the author seasoned
          Originally Posted by AnitaCross View Post

          Perhaps "Nerds" was the wrong choice of words. However, the anonymity of the internet does provide the illusion that one can verbally attack another without repercussions.

          Of course, it's only an illusion, and I'm thinking the true nerds are more aware of that than the Average Joe (or Jane) using the internet for community interaction.

          As for "Professionals" behaving poorly offline... well, they may have the title, but they sure aren't professional.

          From one Nerd to another,
          -Anita
          Yeah, I QUOTED "professionals", to indicate they are only CALLED that! And I may verbally attack some, but I don't swear and don't say honey, etc... unless they do and I want to shove it back in their face. Even THEN, it is RARE! I really HATE it.

          Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author Sheryl Polomka
    Bill that is a really good post Sweety, but I think you're completely wrong and really have no idea what you're talking about honey!

    Just kidding! I'm assuming this has happened here on the forum and I've missed the post but I completely agree with you. If someone spoke to me in a condescending way I would want to punch him in the face - I guess that's why they do it hiding behind a computer
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  • Profile picture of the author seasoned
    tpw,

    I fit a LOT of the stereotypes for programmers, etc.... SO, on behalf of ALL such people.....


    I strongly suspect that this is a case of "nerds hiding behind computer keyboards."

    Would this person or any other "professional" behave this way in a face-to-face meeting?

    I doubt it...
    You are WILDLY *****WRONG*****! I, and people in my area that I have dealt with in any capacity, have NEVER done this! And FRANKLY, I HATE it when others do it with me!

    And I HAVE seen "professionals" do this in face to face meetings with ME! Real estate brokers, salespeople, waiters/waitresses, flight attendants, etc... But "nerds"? NEVER!

    Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Doesn't bother me a tad when some drooler calls me "honey". If we silence the morons then it's harder to figure out who they are. I'd rather have them clueless enough to spew their BS publically so I don't waste my time figuring out who is a wolf in sheep's clothing.
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    Sal
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    Beyond the Path

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    • Profile picture of the author seasoned
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      Doesn't bother me a tad when some drooler calls me "honey". If we silence the morons then it's harder to figure out who they are. I'd rather have them clueless enough to spew their BS publically so I don't waste my time figuring out who is a wolf in sheep's clothing.
      Perhaps you are right heysal! i see this sign that lights up with a big red BS whenever I hear that garbage.

      Steve
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      • Profile picture of the author HeySal
        Originally Posted by seasoned View Post

        Perhaps you are right heysal! i see this sign that lights up with a big red BS whenever I hear that garbage.

        Steve
        LOL - it's always fun to be called "sweetie" or "honey" by some idiot in a suit and watch his face when you just stare, laugh, and tell him "thanks but no thanks - I'll save it for someone with an IQ....Dude." Then I turn around and walk out and they can't figure out WTF. Hahahahahahaha. That crap got old 30 years ago. 0

        I will say that my partners and I call each other such things....but we have actual intellectual relationships and friendships that allow us to exchange a few familiarities without ever insulting each other doing it. We know each others expertises and intelligence and respect one anothers opinions, so when I call Dave "Cup Cake" - he knows it's an endearment and not an insult. My other partner is "Cream Puff" - one heck of a brain and I just love him to death.

        But I would never use such language with someone I hadn't become familiar with and didn't respect. I've been called "sweetie" and the likes by a few men in my time and it made me smile - I knew them and they actually listened and considered what came out of my mouth to be valuable -- and as long as that is happening, I don't care what they want to call me. It's the terms mixed with condescending attitudes or used by someone I'm not fairly familiar and on a friendship basis with that fry my bacon. There's a lot of guys in this forum that I'd not take offense to if they called me something sweet and gooey.

        I'm all for playful as long as the work gets done right.
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        Sal
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        Beyond the Path

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        • Profile picture of the author seasoned
          Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

          LOL - it's always fun to be called "sweetie" or "honey" by some idiot in a suit and watch his face when you just stare, laugh, and tell him "thanks but no thanks - I'll save it for someone with an IQ....Dude." Then I turn around and walk out and they can't figure out WTF. Hahahahahahaha. That crap got old 30 years ago. 0
          Yep, that is about the time I got tired of it TOO! I was still in highschool then!

          I will say that my partners and I call each other such things....but we have actual intellectual relationships and friendships that allow us to exchange a few familiarities without ever insulting each other doing it. We know each others expertises and intelligence and respect one anothers opinions, so when I call Dave "Cup Cake" - he knows it's an endearment and not an insult. My other partner is "Cream Puff" - one heck of a brain and I just love him to death.
          Yeah, it is DIFFERENT if it is to kid around with, or as endearment for, FRIENDS and colleagues. Of course, I generally don't do that ANYWAY! I tend to have more respect if men DON'T do it.

          But I would never use such language with someone I hadn't become familiar with and didn't respect. I've been called "sweetie" and the likes by a few men in my time and it made me smile - I knew them and they actually listened and considered what came out of my mouth to be valuable -- and as long as that is happening, I don't care what they want to call me. It's the terms mixed with condescending attitudes or used by someone I'm not fairly familiar and on a friendship basis with that fry my bacon. There's a lot of guys in this forum that I'd not take offense to if they called me something sweet and gooey.

          I'm all for playful as long as the work gets done right.
          EXACTLY!

          Steve
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