What do you tell your kid in how to deal with a bully?

by Hanz
62 replies
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Do you tell your kid to walk away, go to the teacher or simply pile-drive the bully into the concrete the way Casey Heynes did?!?!?!?!?!
This video has gone viral! From a kid who didn't have a friend in the world to now becoming basically a cult figure with hundreds of thousands of fans and supporters, Casey Heynes the 16 year old kid from Sydney, has inspired people all over the world with his actions of self defense.

Here's the actual video, recorded from a camera phone by the bully's friend.



Here's the aftermath.

  • Profile picture of the author bravo75
    Ha Ha. The little sh.t really deserved that.
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  • Profile picture of the author bravo75
    Bullies make me sick. It is a huge problem in the U.K.
    WTF is wrong with people. Whatever happened to "live and let live".
    Lovely lad. Really likable chap. Don't think he will have to face anymore bullying from his peers.
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  • Profile picture of the author SShip
    I in no way condone fighting, but there comes a point, where you just can't take any more and shouldn't stand there and be a target and you need to do what you need to do to protect yourself. Poor kiddo...

    This happened to my son last year and I contacted the school and told them they needed to get it under control. My son shouldn't be afraid to go to school, he doesn't have a choice, it's the law and if they weren't going to do anything to protect him while he was in their care, they were going to be speaking with more than just me. The bullying, thankfully stopped in our case.
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    • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
      Originally Posted by Fruzzlies View Post

      I in no way condone fighting, but there comes a point, where you just can't take any more and shouldn't stand there and be a target and you need to do what you need to do to protect yourself. Poor kiddo...

      This happened to my son last year and I contacted the school and told them they needed to get it under control. My son shouldn't be afraid to go to school, he doesn't have a choice, it's the law and if they weren't going to do anything to protect him while he was in their care, they were going to be speaking with more than just me. The bullying, thankfully stopped in our case.
      It is good to know that it stopped in your son's case.

      It is bizarre how adults in authority are often clued-out and in denial when it comes to bullying. So many just stubbornly refuse to address the challenge.

      Bullying doesn't actually end in childhood. It takes different forms in adulthood, especially in workplaces:
      Catalyst BC: Workplace Stress & U.S. Bullying Legal Trends
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      • Profile picture of the author Kay King
        My problem with the video is that when the child was pushed to act - his action was violent. We say "good job" because he stood up for himself - but the way in which he threw the bully to the pavement could have had harsh consequences for both boys.
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        • Profile picture of the author Hanz
          Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

          My problem with the video is that when the child was pushed to act - his action was violent. We say "good job" because he stood up for himself - but the way in which he threw the bully to the pavement could have had harsh consequences for both boys.
          That's why you shouldn't assault a guy twice your size I guess. Pretty simple rule to follow. Mess with a bull, you get the horns!
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          • Profile picture of the author joebel
            About that issue I think the parents of the bully will be the one responsible to that. The authority must give a particular sanction for the parents. If that happened the parents will be obliged to discipline their children and teach them the right thing. right?
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        • Profile picture of the author seasoned
          Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

          My problem with the video is that when the child was pushed to act - his action was violent. We say "good job" because he stood up for himself - but the way in which he threw the bully to the pavement could have had harsh consequences for both boys.
          If the little kid really did deserve it, if he were maimed or killed, I wouldn't have cared. The world has FAR too many bullies. If not for the law, it would be VERY obvious to all. One thing I have realized is that these guys often DON'T stop. It just becomes less obvious than "bullying".

          Bullies are usually bigger, because they are COWARDS! They pick on smaller people because they are lazy and want some asset, or they feel it makes them feel better to "win", or they feel it helps them in social areas. If this little guy really did start it, it is because he felt the kid would never fight back. People's tempers are like a gigantic spring. Some have springs that are a little thicker, and they may fight back even as you do. HECK, some are even compressed a little, and a TOUCH may cause them to fight. Some springs may seem pretty skinny. You can push, and push, and push, but eventually you may slip, turn your back, or push too far, and that spring may pop out and who knows WHAT will happen. So it is pretty stupid to assume a person will NEVER fight back. And strength really doesn't mean that much sometimes.

          Steve
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          • Profile picture of the author Kay King
            That's why you shouldn't assault a guy twice your size I guess.
            True - just saying that kid came close to landing head down onto the concrete. He derserved the lesson but it could have ended badly for both boys. As it is, it's lucky it's on video for the sake of the larger kid as I'm sure Mr Bully was sporting a few good bruises.
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        • Profile picture of the author RickDayle
          Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

          My problem with the video is that when the child was pushed to act - his action was violent. We say "good job" because he stood up for himself - but the way in which he threw the bully to the pavement could have had harsh consequences for both boys.
          Well, there have been a lot of responses, and I can't help but weigh in on the side of the bullied that had finally had enough. Bullies tend to take advantage of those they see as weaker than them, and keep it that way through intimidation and physical force. Sometimes, when you've just had enough, you have to retaliate, and sometimes that means physical violence. I refer to a time back in my own life.

          A lightweight and short member of the fourth grade way back in 1961, I was the recipient of a bully's attentions. I was perhaps 90 or 100 lbs dripping wet, one of the shortest in my class, and he was a year older and clearly outweighed me by at least 50 lbs. This fellow decided he would systematically separate me from my milk money, and was quite irritated when I didn't have any. (at that time, subsidized milk cost around 3 cents a day.) He wasn't the brightest bulb in the circuit, because he often chose afternoons, on the way home from school to strike. He would appear out of a yard about two or three blocks from my home, demanding money. When I didn't produce, he would pummel me and run on. We lived about a half mile from the school, and of course, the school wouldn't even acknowledge the incidents, much less do anything about it. I tried different routes home, but it was if he had a sixth sense about the route I'd take, still nailing me almost daily. It began with a half or full nelson, followed by kidney punches, and if I didn't produce, at least a bloody nose before he was satisfiede enough to let me go home. Nothing seemed to help, and calls to the school resulted in a deaf ear.

          One day, I'd had more than enough, and somehow managed to get out to his "haunts" before him. I climbed into a tree that overhung the sidewalk and waited. Almost on schedule, he trod up the street, then slowed, looking back, waiting for me to appear. As he passed under me, I dropped out of the tree right on top of him, driving him almost into the sidewalk. Though I didn't weigh all that much, the effect of a good ten foot drop was pretty satisfying. I made certain that he knew it was me, so there would be no mystery what had happened later. I really doubt that the punches I added had any real effect. Once he finally got up, he ran off with a bloody nose, crying and screaming all the way towards home. I don't know if I could have done any real damage to him physically, but the effect of his prime target actually fighting back had a positive effect, at least from my perspective. He never bothered me again, but did choose a different "mark" to persecute on their way home, so all he learned was to not mess with me.

          Sometimes you just gotta respond to a bully, and though as an adult, I really believe that the use of physical violence shows a loss of emotional control (a bad thing) I still believe I acted properly at the time. After all, it made the rest of the fourth grade rather uneventful, and I could actually walk to and from school without the fear of being beat up on an almost daily schedule.

          The problem recurred at another school when I was in the seventh grade, and I found that if you carried a sharpened can opener (way before pop-tops), the bullies moved on to easier targets after a slash or two. Again, perhaps not the best response, but at perhaps 110 lbs dripping wet, coming into the school district from another school, and no history of any sport (this was way before the word "nerd" was invented) I was an automatic target for the schoolground bullies until I stood my ground.

          Years later, military training changed my attitude about physical violence, and taught me many "interesting" ways to cause pain or even death without significant effort (or perhaps even much in the way of evidence), but hasn't changed my feelings about violence. It is, (and should be) after all, the last resort, and knowing what I know now, would likely result in what my trainers in the service referred to "collateral damage." Not necessarily traceable to my person...

          Though I wouldn't condone violence as a first response, there are times it still may be justified. It's all part of a process, an escalation of response, from initial verbal parry, perhaps the legal system and barring all else, violence is perhaps worth the effort. Only the individuals involved can determine what is justified, but unfortunately, the person that is the recipient of the ministrations of a bully is often in a mental state that makes it difficult to think rationally.

          Unfortunally, in the litigous society in which we live (United States), though the bullied can rarely get any help, once he finally lashes out and responds in like kind, he is likely to be sued by the bully, even if the response is more than justified by the events leading up to the final event when the bullied individual snaps and takes things into their own hands.

          It's a sad state of affairs, overall, where someone that is being bullied has to resort to physical violence, but I can certainly see why it is needed and feel there are definitely times where you just can't take any more... regardless of the possible repercussions.
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  • Profile picture of the author bravo75
    Teachers are absolutely useless when it comes to bullying. There should be police officers on every playground in every school in the world. Bullying has to be stopped at all costs.
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  • Profile picture of the author XtremXpert
    Well, it happened to me in school too, but after a few years I stood up and beat one of those guys, never had problems after that.

    I don't know why parents 'preach' non violence so much, most of the time to the wrong kids. I knew is not ok to be violent, but all the time when I just told the teachers about it, the problems with those guys just got bigger. But when I beat only one of them, they all stopped. So for me it seems that facing them is the best thing to do.

    Do not tell your kid to beat others, but teach him some self-defense techniques.
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  • Profile picture of the author TLTheLiberator
    I'm not sure why it came to that in the first place since the little guy was less than half the size of Cassy.

    Now I get it.

    Cassy was afraid of being jumped by shorty & his friends.

    I wouldn't want anything really bad to happen to the little guy but I'm glad he was taught a lesson.

    Back in the 1st grade a kid who was smaller than me told me that he was going to beat me up after school.

    After running home from school every day for about a week, I told the sitter of my problem.

    She told me to find a stick or a piece of wood and hit him in the head with it and that would solve my problem.

    The next day after being threatened during the school day, I hurried outside and waited for him after school with a stick hidden behind my back.

    Incredibly, homeboy approached me and didn't know what was coming.

    I wacked him with all my might - ( I swung for the fences ) somewhere on his back just one time - and he ran off crying.

    The next day at school he apologized for his belligerence towards me.

    He was no longer a problem, as a matter of fact we become buds.

    TL
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  • Profile picture of the author eddyjoy
    I think boys should stand up and fight for themselves. Until you show a bully that you are also a men, he will keep humiliating you. Boys be Boys and stand up and fight for your manhood otherwise what would differentiate them from girls.
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    • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
      Originally Posted by eddyjoy View Post

      I think boys should stand up and fight for themselves. Until you show a bully that you are also a men, he will keep humiliating you. Boys be Boys and stand up and fight for your manhood otherwise what would differentiate them from girls.
      If that's the way you feel, it's because you've never seen my sister beat up a dude.
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      • Profile picture of the author seasoned
        Originally Posted by thunderbird View Post

        If that's the way you feel, it's because you've never seen my sister beat up a dude.
        And boys are put into a BAD situation with Girls. They aren't supposed to hurt girls AND, if they did, they would be seen as some coward bully SCUM!

        Meanwhile, girls are taught to do anything a boy would do, etc...

        Steve
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        • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
          Originally Posted by seasoned View Post

          <snip>
          Meanwhile, girls are taught to do anything a boy would do, etc...

          Steve
          Frankly, I'm glad my sister learned self defense. The scumbags deserved the broken bones she administered to them. Most other girls would have experienced a much uglier outcome, I guarantee it.
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          • Profile picture of the author seasoned
            Originally Posted by thunderbird View Post

            Frankly, I'm glad my sister learned self defense. The scumbags deserved the broken bones she administered to them. Most other girls would have experienced a much uglier outcome, I guarantee it.
            As long as the boy deserves it, it is fine with me. I'm certainly NOT saying that females shouldn't be able to protect themselves. I'm merely saying that they shouldn't HAVE to, at least not from males. Then again, it would be nice if NOBODY had to.

            Steve
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            • Profile picture of the author Ray Erdmann
              @Kay:

              What if the punch thrown by the smaller kid caused an eye injury or a broken cheek bone! Don't just focus on 'what could have happened' with the larger kid!

              I actually came across this vid right after it went 'viral' and posted it on my FB page and said the same thing as bravo75 - that little sh** deserved it!

              I was bullied when I was little because I had a stutter/stammer growing up. It sucked because those other kids were smaller then I was...so I know what it's like to be the big kid in the video...

              The day came when I got tired of it and cole-cocked a kid who wasn't expecting it out on the basketball court! First came the basketball at his face, followed by a straight up punch to his chin!

              Granted I was suspended from school for a week, but I was never bothered again BY ANYONE!

              If I were a parent today, I'd teach my kid to walk away...once..maybe even twice, but when it persists...throw down and stand your ground...!
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  • Profile picture of the author Sunfyre7896
    The first step would be to let them know to ignore the bully if possible. This would really only apply to getting picked on rather than actual physical hitting and/or pushed down. That way, the bully would generally give up since they realize that it's only fun if it is getting to the other person. This is the case many times and worked for me in junior high. However, if the kid is getting hit or pushed around every day, then a little self defense is needed. Either teaching myself or going to martial arts classes. They teach not to go around beating others up, but to defend yourself or others in need. Then, hit the kid back and make him sorry he messed with the wrong kid. It's in self defense so it's not making another bully if taught right. Also, the bully may think twice about bullying other kids. Telling the principal or parents only makes it worse in many cases. Although walking away is preferable in many cases in adulthood when you won't see them again, getting bullied in school can happen every day and in many cases can have a profound negative effect on those getting bullied to their self-esteem and confidence. Teaching a kid to stand up for themselves isn't bad, it may be necessary.
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  • Profile picture of the author TamR
    Banned
    He shouldn't have retaliated. What he should have done is walked away straight to one of the teachers instead of just standing there being a human punch bag.

    He could quite easily have killed that boy slamming him like that.
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  • Profile picture of the author TLTheLiberator
    Seasoned said above...

    "If the little kid really did deserve it, if he were maimed or killed, I wouldn't have cared."


    I say...

    Are you really serious???


    TL
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    • Profile picture of the author QuickSurf
      That was the best episode lol, in other ones you can tell the fighters weren't using their full strength or hitting as hard as they could... but Mayhem gave that dude a whupping lol. Love Mayhem, crazy dude.
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      • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
        Originally Posted by QuickSurf View Post

        That was the best episode lol, in other ones you can tell the fighters weren't using their full strength or hitting as hard as they could... but Mayhem gave that dude a whupping lol. Love Mayhem, crazy dude.
        I watched that too. That bully was definitely asking for it, saying he was doing his victims a favor beating them up.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jamie Drew
    The interview made me shed a tear there. I hate fighting and try to avoid trouble at any cost, especially in the area I live in as it's full of gangs and trouble makers, but what that kid did is so inspiring and there is only so much **** one person can take before they act out of a character!

    I say well done because in high school people tried to pick on me though I didn't let it go on for as long as Casey did. Sometimes fighting back is the right thing to do, I've noticed from personal experience it's the only way to get someone to stop and gain other people's respect.

    To think a charming wee fella like him actually contemplated suicide because of those idiots and yobs is a real shock and a shame.

    Well done wee man!
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  • You know Bullying is not good and I don't condone it in any way. Now for the big "but"...

    We all confront and have to deal with bullying in almost every aspect of life if you stop and think about it. Bullying has been around for all of mankind's history and it is not going to stop. If your honest with your self we all have done it ourselves to some extent or other. It's even in nature, ever watch Animal Planet.

    I know there are some folks that say we can evolve our society into a peaceful Utopia and some of the ones that push that philosophy the most even use violence and bullying to promote it.

    I believe there is an answer coming but this format is not the place to discuss that. Each to his or her own on that one. Like most things in life we just need to deal with the things that happen as they happen.

    It's like the songs say " It ain't easy" that's right, and "When will they ever learn?" Probably not ever.

    So in my opinion, what do you tell your kid?

    I guess tell them, "I love you, I'm here for you, and keep on getting up". "We can get through this together". Then be there for them.

    This should also apply for our friends and neighbors too.

    My Thoughts...

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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    It is sad. Fighting back is not a viable solution for everyone. It is true that most people I know were only able to stop bullies by beating them up. Again, that is not doable for everyone. Also, bullies aren't beyond carrying knives or guns, and "no one, however tough, can stop bullets, not even with their teeth" (the exact words that a gangster in China said to me in a karaoke bar he had just trashed).
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  • Profile picture of the author oliviasmith
    Haha i just loved the videos. They were awesome. And that skinny boy deserved that. Well done mate!
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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    The thought that crossed my mind was that kid attacking the big boy was being put up to it. Someone in his group was videotaping. It seemed to be a planned-out for spectacle put together by a nasty team of snotty-nosed brats.
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      What if the punch thrown by the smaller kid caused an eye injury or a broken cheek bone! Don't just focus on 'what could have happened' with the larger kid!
      Proof that some people will argue with anything? A little kid punching a big kid in the chest and stomach seldom breaks much of anything.

      My point was that a kid driven to extremes can result in one of those headlines about "boy in coma after bullying incident".

      With opinions, we focus on whatever we want to focus on -that's the point of an opinion.

      kay
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  • Profile picture of the author John Durham
    Tough call... I dont want my kid to be wimp, but I dont want him getting a lead pipe up the side of his head for being too brave either... there must be a balance. Try to walk away... but like Ray said, if you cant walk away, be ready to draw from that primal place inside and just let it all out for a few minutes... and make sure the guy who picked on you cant get back up and jump you when you walk away.

    lol. A basketball to the face followed by a blow to the chin wouldnt hurt!

    I grew up in a neighborhood, where getting in a fight meant either winning or getting beat with bats and chains and all kinds of stuff...

    I stood my ground and fought, I got licked,and sometimes I gave others lickens... BUT sometimes the smartest thing to do is RUUUUUUUUN! LOL

    And I have done that a time or two as well...

    Be smart, choose your battles, dont be ten foot tall and bullet proof... have you ever noticed that those type are also the same ones that will brag to you about how every bone in their body has been broken.... thats not admirable, thats stupid!

    Interesting food for thought here.
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  • Profile picture of the author Virtualghost
    Well being a father of 3 girls who have been bullied by boys,I have taught them one rule and I assure it has worked.Walk away if they persist them kick them in the ba**s.
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    • Profile picture of the author John Durham
      Originally Posted by Virtualghost View Post

      Well being a father of 3 girls who have been bullied by boys,I have taught them one rule and I assure it has worked.Walk away if they persist them kick them in the ba**s.
      As a grown man with 3 grandsons, I cant tell you the times I have been on the floor curled up over a good ole fashion B*** Kicking pratice session. My boys know what to do. Even a 3 year can take a man down like that.
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      • Profile picture of the author seasoned
        Originally Posted by John Durham View Post

        As a grown man with 3 grandsons, I cant tell you the times I have been on the floor curled up over a good ole fashion B*** Kicking pratice session. My boys know what to do. Even a 3 year can take a man down like that.
        Why didn't you wear a cup, and what if the attacker is wearing a cup? And what happens the SECOND time!?

        Steve
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        • Profile picture of the author John Durham
          Originally Posted by seasoned View Post

          Why didn't you wear a cup, and what if the attacker is wearing a cup? And what happens the SECOND time!?

          Steve
          Fortunately they are both tall broad and have long arms... just from wrestling around I feel pretty confident they will be able to take care of themselves... They wear me out thats for sure.
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          • Profile picture of the author seasoned
            Originally Posted by John Durham View Post

            Fortunately they are both tall broad and have long arms... just from wrestling around I feel pretty confident they will be able to take care of themselves... They wear me out thats for sure.
            Well, if I were teaching kids how to defend themselves, I think I would make it clear that kicking there is NOT always exactly as easy as it is portrayed in the movies. HECK, I saw a news program where a guy took TENNIS BALLS in the groin, and didn't flinch! He ran a company that created a special cup to take the force and distribute it on the legs so it could take a LOT of force and hold up to it well enough to keep providing protection.

            GRANTED males don't usually wear cups. They are too limiting and not necessarily comfortable. But jocks may wear them more frequently, and some bullies may also. After all, not doing so is almost like giving your opponent a bat to hit you with. Heck, I went to a school that REQUIRED everyone to have cups and supporters and wear them in PE, regardless of what they were to do.

            And HECK, A guy once hit me with a T square, in drafting class, and was SHOCKED when I didn't react. I think he was trying to hit me in the groin. Well, he missed by several inches. He hit me in another area albeit not very hard, but that didn't hurt or even give me a little bruise. Frankly, I was shocked HE was shocked!

            Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author anlopez
    I always tell my kids to try to help and stand up for kids who are bullied since I have a zero tolerance for bullies.
    I wish someone had stepped up for me when I was bullied every day for 9 years in school.
    25 years ago the teachers in my hometown were incompetent in dealing with bullies, and just turned their backs to the problem.
    One of the biggest problems are that kids doesnt understand that what they think is fun to do to a person today, might hunt that person for years to come and literally destroy their futures if the victims doesnt have enought support.

    I understand fully why this kid reacted in this way, and sometimes bullies may need to learn the hard way how to stop.

    I felt sick to my stomach when I saw how this bully behaved.
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    • Profile picture of the author Virtualghost
      Well seasoned usually there is no second time from same bully one shot does it any male usually learns that once they receive a shot to the ba**s and your average bully doesn't prepare himself not to get a boot as usually does not expect from a shy girl 60 pounds as my one daughter was when she had to resort to it as was pushed,slapped and pulled by the hair and had spit balls shot at her.His mother was ashamed of his action and had no simpathy when went home in pain.
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    • Profile picture of the author John Durham
      Most bullies problem is that their PARENTS need their butt kicked.
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  • Profile picture of the author aheil
    Wow thats an amazing story. Good job to casey
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      You teach your children that other people have rights, too. You tell them to walk away or laugh it off if they can - and defend themselves if they are cornered. But you also teach your children that it's not ok to just walk away when you see a bully picking on someone who can't defend himself. Many parents seem to think kids learn right from wrong on their own - and they don't.

      I mentioned this video and thread to my son on the phone and he reminded me of the "Toady" incident years ago. Toady was this scraggly little kid, homely, poor, had no friends. A couple bullies picked on him from day one when he came to our elementary school - I think they were in fifth grade. I don't know what the kid's name was but Toady was his nickname. All I remember about him is his hair stuck up all over his head.

      My younger son didn't like the bullying - so he stepped in and told the bullies "this is my friend, leave him alone". Dan was one of the popular kids that everyone liked - so Toady was left alone. Problem was, the little guy was so grateful he followed Dan around like a puppy and I think by the end of the year my son was almost sorry he'd helped out.:p

      I honestly don't understand how the bullying problem has reached the heights it has in recent years. There were always bullies - but they seem more prevalent and more vicious than they used to be.

      kay
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      • Profile picture of the author seasoned
        Originally Posted by Kay King View Post

        I honestly don't understand how the bullying problem has reached the heights it has in recent years. There were always bullies - but they seem more prevalent and more vicious than they used to be.

        kay
        That is BULL!!!!!! Bullies today are NO worse than they were 40 years ago! Based on films, etc... bullies THEN were no worse than bullies 20 years earlier.

        Some want it to seem like there is a BAD problem now BUT, to get attention, they have to try to make it seem worse than before. Look on the youtube videos, news reports, etc... It really ISN'T worse than before. GRANTED, there are more pockets of ethnic groups that ENCOURAGE it but they existed even when I was a kid, and were spoken about in movies from decades earlier.

        BTW that is NOT to say it isn't bad. It IS! But how would YOU feel if you had $1000 stolen, and NOBODY helped you out and meanwhile you see people with $100 stolen being helped out, and people are acting so SHOCKED by the people that stole the $100? I imagine you would feel pretty angry and insulted. If so, you know how I feel.

        Steve
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        • Profile picture of the author John Durham
          Originally Posted by seasoned View Post

          Look on the youtube videos, news reports, etc... It really ISN'T worse than before.
          Steve
          They had pony tails back then...and they have pony tails now.... uh...cept now the pony tails come out the front of the head - Carmen (contemporary christian music artist)
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          • Profile picture of the author mattlaclear
            Originally Posted by John Durham View Post

            They had pony tails back then...and they have pony tails now.... uh...cept now the pony tails come out the front of the head - Carmen (contemporary christian music artist)
            Wasn't that an intro to one of his songs on The Champion? That truly was a solid music cd.
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            • Profile picture of the author sjson
              As some of you mentioned above, teachers don't have the power to be everywhere. They simply don't have the ability to stop bullying. Schools don't even have the power to do so. Rules and punishments set to eliminate bullying can only do so much. The power is within the community. In that video, there were witnesses, yet none of them chose to do anything until after it was over. The only way this is going to stop is if the public and when I mean public, the people at the scene, need to intervene immediately. I touch on this subject lightly in my tumbler (shinhees.tumblr.com). It really pains me to see people victimized and potentially scarred for life because of inconsiderate ignorant folks.
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  • Profile picture of the author sarahberra
    This is a complicated one. I don't promote violence, but I also don't agree with allowing a bully to just beat up my child. This is why my boys are going to take Karate lessons as soon as possible. Almost every school has a bully.
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    • Profile picture of the author eddyjoy
      Originally Posted by sarahberra View Post

      This is a complicated one. I don't promote violence, but I also don't agree with allowing a bully to just beat up my child. This is why my boys are going to take Karate lessons as soon as possible. Almost every school has a bully.
      You see what I mean by the boys standing up and fighting for themselves. And when I say fight I do not mean that its violence I am promoting but basically showing others that you are not the kind to be kicked around. Sometimes it is just assuming a no nonsense attitude. Your boys will learn Karate not because you want them to go and fight anybody but to be prepared just in case.
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  • Profile picture of the author Scott Skinner
    Unfortunately, based on my experience in life, the bully got what he deserved. Everyone has a right to defend themselves, children included. I thought the big guy showed tremendous restraint. Bet the bully thinks twice next time.
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  • Profile picture of the author sloanjim
    BRILLIANT! that kid deseerved a medal...little pr*** was picking on a guy twice his size. Good for him. Trouble is...if you do that nowadasy tou wend up in more trouble thn the bullier!

    But yeah any of my kids get bulleid and I'll strongly advise them to hit back HARD and not to stop!
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  • Profile picture of the author sloanjim
    well i think ther problems is a ot deeper than that. Ther seems little respect anywhere these days and it's getting worse. The P.C control doesn't allow any kind of discipline etc.... "respect elders, love thy neighbour....etc.." gone out of the window. I'd HATE to be a teacher these days.

    As some of you mentioned above, teachers don't have the power to be everywhere. They simply don't have the ability to stop bullying.
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  • Profile picture of the author sloanjim
    Bullying has to be stopped at all costs.
    That's a bit like saying "all crime has to stop..." It won't can't. And with children it starts from an early age at home....Parents can't control children any more. Teachers cannot disciplient hem. They stick two fingers up at police with no respect. We shouldn't be surprised at increased rates of bullying. It's always been there but my guess years ago children were much more scared of punishment..now they laugh at it.
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  • Profile picture of the author sloanjim
    B*S*...he got everything he deserved...if he's have broken his legs he would have deserved it and worse!

    This kind of veiw drives me nuts! Did you see what he did to that guy? How long had it been going on? what about the emotional damage to the other kid over time....WHAAAA

    My problem with the video is that when the child was pushed to act - his action was violent. We say "good job" because he stood up for himself - but the way in which he threw the bully to the pavement could have had harsh consequences for both boys.
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  • Profile picture of the author Fernando Veloso
    Well done! Bravo.

    When I was 16-17 there was this older guy, bullying everyone in local bars, he was an ex-ranger. One time tried to impress me with some punches and screams in my face.

    I kicked his butt in 5 seconds and knocked the **** out of him. He needed medical attention at the scene cause he was swallowing his tongue.

    Never again he tried to bully anyone.

    Point is: Sometimes these idiots have to eat **** to get real. (Pardon my french )

    But I agree with John, in most cases, it's parents fault.
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  • Here in Maine (and other places I'm sure) we pass legislation to stop bullying, because apparently bullying is a new thing in human history and the only way to stop it is with laws that tell people what they already know anyway.

    The bullying problem has gotten out of hand in this country because of PARENTS! And I'm talking parents on both sides: it's the fault of the parents who don't teach their kids any better than to bully, and it's the fault of the parents who, instead of teaching their children how to deal with a bully, how to avoid bullies and otherwise taking proactive action, these parents whine and cry and pass legislation that does nothing.

    If every parent just did their job, most kids would be fine. There will always be bullies and no laws are going to stop that; therefore it's up to us as parents to teach our children these things. I have a young daughter myself and I would never dream of lobbying for legislation to "stop" bullies. Ridiculous.

    Wake up, parents. Laws don't prevent murder or theft or any other crime, and they definitely won't stop some punk @$$ kid from being a prick, because they don't have the same level of accountability that adults do- THAT'S why (in most cases) kids can't be tried as an adult.

    Here's a good way to solve the problem: hold the damn parents accountable for their kid's bullying behavior.

    I'm not aggressive or violent in any way- I am a very peaceful person and always feel an innate need to help people and prevent them from getting hurt. But if my kid EVER comes home and is in trouble for bullying, you can bet that there will be some serious "bullying" as punishment...and all the while I'll (rightly) wonder what I did wrong that my kid is hurting other people.

    Accountability: take it for yourself, take it for your kids, but stop trying to take it from/for everyone else.
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  • Profile picture of the author dagaul101
    Bullying is a difficult issue for many kids, but you need to let your kid know that the bully is nothing but a coward and is picking on him because they believe he is easy pickings, it's rather like a kid who grabs a cat's tail, he may think it's amusing, but if the cat turns round and scratches him, he will think twice about doing it again. Bullies are essentially cowards, and what they hate the most is being made a fool of and shown for the cowards they really are, there are two ways of going about this, the easiest way is to call them out in front of the whole class (or a crowd) that they are basically a coward and can't pick on someone their own size, then report them to the teacher and the head, and if the inevitable happens that the bully finds your kid and wants to beat him up, then the second option like the cat your kid only needs to throw one punch, on the nose to let him know he can't get away with this, chances are your kid may be beaten up, but rest assured the bully will not try it again, especially when called out in front of a crowd for the coward he is
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  • Profile picture of the author Fuze
    I've already seen this but no, that's definitely not what I would tell my child.
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  • Telling a child to 'ignore' a bully or just 'walk away' is absolutely asinine. When has that EVER stopped a bully? In fact, it makes the other kid look even weaker, which makes him even MORE of a target now. It also erodes the self-esteem of the target.

    A bully is engaging in criminal activity, and should be treated as a criminal, whether a child or an adult. I have no sympathy for them whatsoever, and this kid got exactly what he had coming. The law is very clear in allowing anyone who feels threatened to defend himself by whatever means necessary.

    Why in the world these bullies aren't expelled (not suspended, but expelled) and arrested and made to serve serious time is beyond me. It's assault and/or battery, plain and simple:

    Assault:

    A threat or attempt to inflict offensive physical contact or bodily harm on a person (as by lifting a fist in a threatening manner) that puts the person in immediate danger of or in apprehension of such harm or contact.

    Battery:

    An offensive touching or use of force on a person without the person's consent.

    If an adult has demonstrated a repeated inability to follow society's rules, we remove him from society. Plain and simple, no arguments, goodbye. Bullies are no different. Coddle them as kids, and they grow up to be even more dangerous adults.

    The first time, you send the bully to a prevention program at the parent's expense (in fact, maybe the parents should have to attend, as well). After that, you can only assume he has serious issues dealing with the boundaries of others that need to be dealt with in an extreme manner.

    As far as the smaller kid in the video: Sorry about his luck, but I bet he never bullies anyone else again, nor will his friends.

    I say kudos to the beat down. I agree that it's sad to have to say that, but it is what it is.
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  • Profile picture of the author bkkmma
    I would recommend any parents let their children train in martial arts, at the very least it builds confidence. Both my son and daughter train, and they started quite young.
    Bullying is horrible, but it is sad fact that it exists at school and also in the workplace. Sadly, I guess it will always exist........but I agree with some of the others that violence should be a last resort.
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    • Profile picture of the author Alan Petersen
      I was bullied when I was a pre-teen. My Mom asked what was wrong. I told her this kid was picking on me. She told me to fight back. I did and I was never bullied again.

      Now this was back in the early 1970's when there wasn't so much coddling of kids. And back then things were settled with your fists not guns, stomping, and some of the other crap kids do now.

      As for that video, I think the kid did well defending himself and standing up against a bully.
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  • Profile picture of the author EBiz81
    Try to avoid them as much as you can. Let them know there is nothing wrong with getting help to avoid a bully.
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  • Profile picture of the author espe
    well here are my two points of view

    1-if i were the fat guy i would be proud of myself
    2- if the little brat were my son i would go where that fat ass is and ****ing smash his face to the ground
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