If you were a bug...

13 years ago

Great post, I agree.

(Reply to get sig indexed by google)

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Roaddog 13 years ago

hardtogetviagra dot com
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KimW

13 years ago

Don't bug me,Rosie

Raid Dot Com

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whateverpedia

13 years ago

My favourite songs is anything by a famous singer.

nigerianlotterytickets.com

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Why do garden gnomes smell so bad?

So that blind people can hate them as well.

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Kay King 13 years ago

{insert various keyword-optimized links here}

....then sit back and congratulate yourself on your brilliance and dedication to hard work....

Ok - your 15 seconds is over - back to the hole you crawled out of
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HeySal

13 years ago

Oh no -- I'm not gonna do that. Not with that nasty corporation ready to spray the crap out of everything that even looks at a flower.

monsanto.com

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ShayB 13 years ago

I think I need more coffee. You people are weird.

make-a-mega-bazillion-dollars-by-this-time-tomorrow dot com
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R Hagel

13 years ago

You guys are hurting my feelings. I thought this was going to be an amazing and very enlightening topic. But I think you're making fun of me.

Hang on, I'm going to go post a big melodramatic post about why I'm leaving this forum for good. *sniff, sniff*

Dubai Aparments // Tinfoil Hats // Shampoo for Persian Cats //Laminated Wall Hangings // Bull Semen

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thunderbird

13 years ago

I'd be a praying mantis on a vanilla flower.

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Project HERE.

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R Hagel

13 years ago

I forgot to mention that the first person to reply with a bug and a flower wins the one hundred bazillion dollar prize...

Originally Posted by thunderbird

I'd be a praying mantis on a vanilla flower.

Looks like Thunderbird wins. Just send me $3000 to cover wiring expenses and I'll send you the prize.

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Kay King

13 years ago

Since clearly it is a legitimate question - and not simply posted to allow a few link hounds to post one liners....

I'd be a ladybug on a bearded iris

Can I have the half bazillion second prize?

Or do I have to wait until this thread gets bumped in a few months?

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ThomM

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Kay King

Since clearly it is a legitimate question - and not simply posted to allow a few link hounds to post one liners....

I'd be a ladybug on a bearded iris

Can I have the half bazillion second prize?

Or do I have to wait until this thread gets bumped in a few months?

Only went 5 weeks before the bump, damn

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Life: Nature's way of keeping meat fresh
Getting old ain't for sissy's
As you are I was, as I am you will be
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whateverpedia

13 years ago

Originally Posted by R Hagel

You guys are hurting my feelings. I thought this was going to be an amazing and very enlightening topic. But I think you're making fun of me.

Hang on, I'm going to go post a big melodramatic post about why I'm leaving this forum for good. *sniff, sniff*

Dubai Aparments // Tinfoil Hats // Shampoo for Persian Cats //Laminated Wall Hangings // Bull Semen

MOD ALERT - MOD ALURT - MUD ALERT

Them are affiliate links which are banned by rules of this place on internet website.

Unlike this one which is sanctioned and aprove by Werrior Forum Rule of Law:

You too can have big one that all girls like you for

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Why do garden gnomes smell so bad?

So that blind people can hate them as well.

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ThomM

13 years ago

Originally Posted by R Hagel

You guys are hurting my feelings. I thought this was going to be an amazing and very enlightening topic. But I think you're making fun of me.

Hang on, I'm going to go post a big melodramatic post about why I'm leaving this forum for good. *sniff, sniff*

Dubai Aparments // Tinfoil Hats // Shampoo for Persian Cats //Laminated Wall Hangings // Bull Semen

I so want to see the Warrior forum ranked #1 for Bull Semen

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Life: Nature's way of keeping meat fresh
Getting old ain't for sissy's
As you are I was, as I am you will be
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Bill Farnham

13 years ago

Originally Posted by ThomM

I so want to see the Warrior forum ranked #1 for Bull Semen

Years ago I was having dinner with a friend in Modesto, Ca and she had invited a couple who were her friends. As the chit-chat progressed I asked the guy what he did for a living and he said "I collect semen from bulls".

I had never heard that before and with a chuckle I said, "You'll have to excuse me, but from over here it sounded like you said you collect semen from bulls".

He said I heard him correctly, and then proceeded to tell me how the job goes.

I'm not sure how those job skills would translate into another profession, but as men I think we're all born with the necessary grasp of how it works.

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Roaddog

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Bill Farnham

Years ago I was having dinner with a friend in Modesto, Ca and she had invited a couple who were her friends. As the chit-chat progressed I asked the guy what he did for a living and he said "I collect semen from bulls".

I had never heard that before and with a chuckle I said, "You'll have to excuse me, but from over here it sounded like you said you collect semen from bulls".

He said I heard him correctly, and then proceeded to tell me how the job goes.

I'm not sure how those job skills would translate into another profession, but as men I think we're all born with the necessary grasp of how it works.

Rimshot..... brrrrrrrrrrding

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ShayB

13 years ago

I got you all beat.

I actually AM a bug. I type by hopping from key to key.

I will take my prize, payable in pollen and nectar, please. With a few aphids thrown in for protein.

obscene-mega-profits-with-bull-semen-WSO dot com

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Kay King

13 years ago

then proceeded to tell me how the job goes.

So his name/phone are filed under "great dinner conversationalist?"

If someone told me that was his "trade" - the last thing I would ask is "how do you do that"

At least I'd wait till after dessert.

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Kurt

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Bill Farnham

Years ago I was having dinner with a friend in Modesto, Ca and she had invited a couple who were her friends. As the chit-chat progressed I asked the guy what he did for a living and he said "I collect semen from bulls".

I had never heard that before and with a chuckle I said, "You'll have to excuse me, but from over here it sounded like you said you collect semen from bulls".

He said I heard him correctly, and then proceeded to tell me how the job goes.

I'm not sure how those job skills would translate into another profession, but as men I think we're all born with the necessary grasp of how it works.

Originally Posted by Roaddog

Rimshot..... brrrrrrrrrrding

Originally Posted by Kay King

So his name/phone are filed under "great dinner conversationalist?"

If someone told me that was his "trade" - the last thing I would ask is "how do you do that"

At least I'd wait till after dessert.

WAITER! Cancel the oysters on the half-shell!

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Bill Farnham

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Kay King

So his name/phone are filed under "great dinner conversationalist?"

If someone told me that was his "trade" - the last thing I would ask is "how do you do that"

At least I'd wait till after dessert.

Well, I didn't shake his hand when we said good-bye, if that counts for anything...

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Kurt

13 years ago

Originally Posted by Bill Farnham

Years ago I was having dinner with a friend in Modesto, Ca and she had invited a couple who were her friends. As the chit-chat progressed I asked the guy what he did for a living and he said "I collect semen from bulls".

I had never heard that before and with a chuckle I said, "You'll have to excuse me, but from over here it sounded like you said you collect semen from bulls".

He said I heard him correctly, and then proceeded to tell me how the job goes.

I'm not sure how those job skills would translate into another profession, but as men I think we're all born with the necessary grasp of how it works.

Sounds like a bunch of bull to me. Someone needs to tell Bill to get a grip.

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HeySal

13 years ago

Great Post.

$1000anhourdoingsurveys

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Roaddog 13 years ago

I totally agree with this!

(taken verbatim)

by the way Sal got PM... great minds think alike.
but I thought of it at 11:53..lol
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- HeySal 13 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Roaddog
  
  I totally agree with this!
  
  (taken verbatim)
  
  by the way Sal got PM... great minds think alike.
  but I thought of it at 11:53..lol
  
  Well don't worry about being a little slow witted. (I sent it at around 11:30).
  We still like ya.
  
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  Sal
  When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
  Beyond the Path
  
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  Roaddog 13 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by HeySal
  
  Well don't worry about being a little slow witted. (I sent it at around 11:30).
  We still like ya.
  
  11:53 April 17:p
  
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HeySal

13 years ago

How bout a third prize?

I wanna be the little robot surveillance bug sitting on the spring bouquet in the middle of the Oval office conference room -- on a Monday.

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R Hagel

13 years ago

Sure -- I'm happy to send out many prizes. Just send me $2000 wiring expenses for the second prize and $1000 wiring expenses for the third prize.

Used Coffee Filters // Deer Urine for Hunters

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HeySal

13 years ago

Originally Posted by R Hagel

Sure -- I'm happy to send out many prizes. Just send me $2000 wiring expenses for the second prize and $1000 wiring expenses for the third prize.

Used Coffee Filters // Deer Urine for Hunters

Running for more copy paper now.

LeagelAdvisesProfeshionels

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waterotter

13 years ago

Like a cockroach on a dandelion - they don't quit reproducing.

Try: SPAMCONTROL.COM

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Sheryl Polomka

13 years ago

I would be a locust named Lucas and I would sit on a Lily with my girlfriend Lily

I would like fourth prize, but I'm willing to send you $10,000 for wire expenses if you cheat and give me first prize.

yourpenisistoosmall dot com | biggerboobsin2days dot com

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R Hagel

13 years ago

Bill, when's the WSO coming out? You know. the one called "Dinner Conversation Killers 101."

(Kay gave me the idea -- so you better split your profits 50/50 with her.)

Originally Posted by Sheryl Polomka

I would be a locust named Lucas and I would sit on a Lily with my girlfriend Lily

I would like fourth prize, but I'm willing to send you $10,000 for wire expenses if you cheat and give me first prize.

Absolutely! But let's not clutter up this thread with the details -- email me instead at:

IPromiseIWontScamYou [AT] Suckers [DOT] com

Bull Semen

p.s. Everyone should check out Shay's "Obscene Mega Profits With Bull Semen" WSO -- it's awesome. I hope it's ok to promote it here.

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CrowX

13 years ago

lol, thanks for the giggle.
This thread was a nice way to start my day.

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Kurt

13 years ago

How about a dung beetle? Since life is going to crap on you anyway, you may as well enjoy it.

Rollin'...Rollin'...Rollin'...Keep them doggies rollin"...

YouTube - Dung Beetle Rollin Down The Road

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Bradley J Anderson

13 years ago

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Aunty

13 years ago

I can't remember which of the creepy-crawly brigade are actually designated "bug". Roaches and mantis' are insects ... lady-bugs are beetles ... I think true bugs are things like bed bugs and the like. The flower bit is easy - I'd sit on a grenadilla flower or an orchid but the 'bug' bit, I pass on that.

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Kay King 13 years ago

Speaking of bug bit - I got 4 mosquito bites tonight in 5 minutes outside!

I went out to practice sitting on an iris - but obviously it's not going to work.
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Russell Barnstein

13 years ago

Well, I suppose I would be a bedbug, but no flower needed...I'd deflower my mate with Traumatic Insemination. I mean, that's basically what spam is, right?