Post your funny stories/anecdotes of PC users

6 replies
  • OFF TOPIC
  • |
Working as a tech support officer in a local University, part of my job was to monitor unauthorised internet usage ie. accessing p**n sites.

To my astonishment, I received calls every day at around 8:00am before students arrived, and also at lunchtimes, from various lecturers/professors to "have a look at their laptop". Off I would go to meet the mostly female middle aged lecturers to see what their problem was.

This happened everyday for the duration of my time there. The problem was always that "a student has hacked my laptop and been using it to access p**n sites"!! They didn't understand that I could access all the logs and find out exactly what they were up to!!

It became obvious from the logs that these prim and proper, well-spoken, well-educated middle-aged women were all at it. They even emailed there favourite sites to their fellow colleagues - the favourite seemed to be on all their laptops "HUGE BLACK GUY F***K'S TEACHER WHILE ON DETENTION"!!

One of my fellow techies told a few students about this and somehow the lecturers got wind of it and found a way to make him redundant - cut backs they said, and he lost his job.

Hugely disgruntled, he took records of all the logs, their login details, dates, times, emails sent to other colleagues - eveything! He emailed all their husbands with all the sordid things that their wives were watching on the internet at work and at home, all the sites they visited, what time - the lot. He then emailed everyone at the university, students and all.

He then posted it on all the social networking sites! (You won't find it - the police had the ISP's remove it)

He managed to expose affairs between colleagues, and revealed that when they were supposed to be on all expenses paid trips for "research" etc to other universities - they were all meeting at the hotels for massive orgies, wife swapping, threesomes, bondage - you name it, they were up to it!!

There was a police investigation and all hell broke loose at the university. The police wanted to prosecute him under the Data Protection Act but the lecturers refused to press charges. I wonder why?

I left soon after, and I hear there was a serious shortage of lecturers at the Uni for quite a while!!

What a hero! For all those who are up to no good on your PC, even though you think you've cleaned it with all the latest anti-tracking/wiping software, us techies are always watching - we know where you've been and what you've been doing!

You have been warned!!!
  • Profile picture of the author Scouser
    Has this ever happened to you....?

    Tech help guy: Right click and tell me what happens.
    Customer: Did that, nothing's changed.

    Tech: That's strange. Try again.
    Customer: Still nothing.

    Tech: I really don't understand that. Would you try one more time, please.
    Customer: Look buddy, I've written "click" on this bit of paper three times now, and nothing has happened. Are you going to help me or not?
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3817199].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author seasoned
      Originally Posted by Scouser View Post

      Has this ever happened to you....?

      Tech help guy: Right click and tell me what happens.
      Customer: Did that, nothing's changed.

      Tech: That's strange. Try again.
      Customer: Still nothing.

      Tech: I really don't understand that. Would you try one more time, please.
      Customer: Look buddy, I've written "click" on this bit of paper three times now, and nothing has happened. Are you going to help me or not?
      OK, the FIRST post MAYBE! MAYBE! That idiot could have been sued CIVILY AND CRIMINALY and could have been thrown in jail, oh, and lost his CAREER and most hope of a white collar job! But MAYBE! This second one? WHO is ****THAT**** stupid?

      And WHO was dumber? I mean if this happened on a mainframe, or an old apple, the tech was pretty DUMB!

      Steve
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3817350].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author seasoned
    BTW if you REALLY want to find funny anecdotes, check out The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

    Steve
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3817361].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Scouser
    Here's another stupid ****

    My friend was on duty in the main lab on a quiet afternoon. He noticed a young woman sitting in front of one of the workstations with her arms crossed across her chest and staring at the screen. After about 15 minutes he noticed that she was still in the same position only now she was impatiently tapping her foot.

    He asked if she needed help and she replied, "It's about time! I pushed the F1 button over twenty minutes ago!"
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3817385].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author seasoned
      Originally Posted by Scouser View Post

      Here's another stupid ****

      My friend was on duty in the main lab on a quiet afternoon. He noticed a young woman sitting in front of one of the workstations with her arms crossed across her chest and staring at the screen. After about 15 minutes he noticed that she was still in the same position only now she was impatiently tapping her foot.

      He asked if she needed help and she replied, "It's about time! I pushed the F1 button over twenty minutes ago!"
      At least she knew it was generally for HELP! 8-/

      Steve
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3817520].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Scouser
    This one's a classic....

    I used to be a support technician for a company that originally produced a specialised piece of software that ran on DOS (pre-Windows if you remember that), and when Windows was launched we quickly redeveloped so that is was a Windows compatible version.

    I sent out a pack of disks to a new client who called me and said that the software would not install, I asked her about her operating system (that was tough enough) and finally acsertained that she was working in DOS. I told her that the software only ran under Windows and that she needed to get her PC guy to fix it for her.

    I called her a week later to see if all was okay, and she said
    "Well I don't have a PC guy so I fixed it myself but the software still won't install. I don't understand it as the computer has been moved to right in front of the biggest window in my office!"

    What a plonker!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[3819205].message }}

Trending Topics