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Yes, my wife is right about me...I am a dork

by mattlaclear
11 replies
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Sometimes you just can't win. Last week I splurged and bought a very top dollar pair of white silk shorts. My wife rolled her eyes at me when she saw the color of the shorts given her decade and a half battle as the stain fighter in the family. I assured her that with this pair of shorts I would be extremely careful.

Fast forward to the next day...

I put on my pretty new shorts and sat down on the bench in our room to tie my shoes. No big deal right. Except for the half melted chocolate candy bar I also sat on.

I didn't catch the stain until we were walking through the mall. My wife gasped in horror when she saw it too.

So we went home and she did her best to remove the stain from the shorts. But anyone who has ever tried to remove chocolate from white knows she was facing an uphill battle.

We eventually took the shorts in to the local dry cleaner to see if they could remove the stain. After a couple of days of working on it they were able to remove it. I was a little shocked at the price tag they charged for doing so but it still saved me from having to buy another pair of shorts.

So all is good right?

Fast forward to this morning...

I put my now stain free nifty white shorts on and promptly sat right back down in the half melted chocolate bar that was still sitting on the bench!

I'm heading to Walmart and buying a pair of $10 shorts. I must not be meant to spruce up.
  • Profile picture of the author Bill Farnham
    Originally Posted by mattlaclear View Post

    I'm heading to Walmart and buying a pair of $10 shorts. I must not be meant to spruce up.
    Matt,

    Be sure to wear the chocolate stained shorts when you go there so you can be showcased in the next video on "Walmart Freaks" when it comes out.
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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    You're a brave man sharing this. My examples are abundant, but that's all I'm going to say,lol.
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  • Profile picture of the author Charlotte Jay
    I would probably have gasped in horror too. Imagine walking through the mall with your husband and noticing he has "browned" his shorts. I would have thought the worst haha

    It's like sod's law with white clothing. It can never stay white longer than 2 hours with me!
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    I love white. You aren't a dork for liking white. Sitting in melted chocolate though..........

    If that bench is on your own property and you didn't make the kid clean up his mess or clean it up yourself ........then you qualify as a dork, hands down. LOL.
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    Sal
    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
    Beyond the Path

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    • Profile picture of the author mattlaclear
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

      I love white. You aren't a dork for liking white. Sitting in melted chocolate though..........

      If that bench is on your own property and you didn't make the kid clean up his mess or clean it up yourself ........then you qualify as a dork, hands down. LOL.
      I am the one who cleaned it up the first time it happened. I was a little peeved when I did it so I missed a spot. But it was a dork moment for certain.
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      • Profile picture of the author Kay King
        I can understand why you wife probably rolled her eyes when you showed her the shorts in the first place. If you decide to have them cleaned again - consider just keeping them in the closet, in a drawer or in a lovely frame hung on the wall.

        Clearly, wearing them is not an option for you. No telling what other sneaky chocolate or jam or juice might be hiding just waiting for your white shorts.
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  • Profile picture of the author waterotter
    Check for colorfastness then try using peroxide. It works like a charm and it's far less expensive than any stain remover on the market. I have even used it on carpet to get red wine out - you'd never know Riliey spilt the wine.
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  • Profile picture of the author eguynth
    next time look before you sit
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  • Profile picture of the author Sumit Menon
    How does the half melted chocolate bar just happen to be there every time you sit on the bench in your expensive shorts? I smell conspiracy.
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    • Profile picture of the author mattlaclear
      Originally Posted by Sumit Menon View Post

      How does the half melted chocolate bar just happen to be there every time you sit on the bench in your expensive shorts? I smell conspiracy.
      I was a little hot under the collar when I cleaned up the mess the first time. Some of it fell into the crack of the bench evidently.
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