Classified Ads in newpapers :)

by Michael Mayo 3 replies
Classified Ads
Actually Taken From Classified Ads In Newspapers


FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG.

FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL
1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG

FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD
PART STUPID DOG

GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs.
NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.

FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT...
BEEN OUT AWHILE. BETTER BE REWARD.

1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer

SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...ONLY USED ON SNOWY
DAYS.

2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES:
1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15

COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED...
ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.

NORDIC TRACK $300
HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY

BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING
"WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS"

GEORGIA PEACHES
CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.

NICE PARACHUTE NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300.

ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO
REMEMBER

OPEN HOUSE - BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON
FREE COFFEE & DONUTS

(AND THE BEST ONE...)

FOR SALE BY OWNER
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes.
Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer.
No longer needed. Got married last weekend.
Wife knows everything.

Have a Great Day!
Michael
#off topic forum
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    LOL. Fun, Micheal. Nice read to start the morning with.

    The one I posted a few years back:

    1 "adult" white male, 6'2", 40 years old. Comes with own clothes and tools (for your exclusive use). High mileage, high maintenance, low ROI. Will deliver.

    A friend of his saw the post and recognized the phone number, so I got busted for that bit of fun.
    Signature

    Sal
    New PLR - Disaster prep duo report pkg: The Art of the Graceful Bug out, and Preparing Pets for a Disaster. - PM me for report details.
    Quality PLR Ebooks and Reports:
    Mind/Language - Weight, - Pet/Dog - Disaster - 2011 Earthquake Report - Hair Care

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  • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
    I love starting the day with a laugh. My favorite was:

    FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL
    1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG
    Signature

    Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.

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  • Profile picture of the author msmir75
    Oh I love these. Here are some:

    PIG
    I saw you at Tiki Bobs. You grabbed my butt and I told you if you did that again, I would kill you. You did I need your address now.

    LOST MIND- Last seen before wife & kids. Any info please call.

    USED TOMBSTONE, perfect for someone named HomerHendelBergenHeinzel. One only.

    PONY FOR SALE- Looks like small horse. $900 69-Livestock

    200 Playboy Magazines and other Adult Magazines. Will trade for guns.

    HAVE VIAGRA. Need woman, any woman between 18 and 80.

    LESTER, this is Dawn. Please be assured that I will be getting married no matter what you or my dysfunctional sister have to say. We might have to go to Canada or Mexico but we will be getting married. I get what I want and this is very important to me. Lester, you have a few secrets of your own that you want to keep down low, so watch out!

    So there you go Enjoy. I did.
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