Why didn't anyone help this poor man?

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So I was on my daily route this morning and saw a bruised blind man standing near a construction area. I ran to him as fast as I could and when I reached him, I noticed that he had a scrape of blood on his forehead and he looked very confused and nervous. I slowly held his hand and told him that I would take him to his destination. I was carrying about 25 helium balloons in my hands so it was a bit difficult but I managed.

It was a busy street and as we took a couple of steps I noticed a huge crowd of people standing at a bus stop looking at me with a sigh of relief. These people were waiting for their NYC bound bus which arrives every 10 minutes.

So my question is, why didn't any of them help this poor man? Would it have been so bad if they were late to work by 10 minutes? Why were they all waiting for 'superman' to arrive when anyone who can see and walk could have helped him?

-Samir

P.S. I posted this in the main forum and before the MODs removed it, someone commented that it could be due to what's known as a Bystander effect where the more bystanders there are, the less likely anyone will actually do something.

I find it hard to believe that there is a term for something like this.
  • Unfortunately...there is a term like that. It is a very odd phenomena of human nature...

    Fortunately for this person, you acted as a humanitarian should and offered assistance - you get plus points in your book of Karma. Positive energy leads to success...("so you've got that going for you") - well done!

    And...it's NYC...they become immune to this and "fuhgeddaboudit"
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    • Profile picture of the author Joe Mobley
      The answer to your question is found in the excellent book,

      Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion
      by Robert Cialdini.



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    • Profile picture of the author Sunfyre7896
      Originally Posted by MoneyMagnetMagnate View Post

      Unfortunately...there is a term like that. It is a very odd phenomena of human nature...

      Fortunately for this person, you acted as a humanitarian should and offered assistance - you get plus points in your book of Karma. Positive energy leads to success...("so you've got that going for you") - well done!

      And...it's NYC...they become immune to this and "fuhgeddaboudit"
      Yeah, it's called the Bystander Effect. It's what happens when people stand around and watch someone hurt or killed and no one does anything about it. It's not because people are naturally bad people who don't care. It's more about the human psyche. It's a diffusion of responsibility. The more people that a person perceives to be there watching too, the less likely they are to help. This is because one assumes that someone else has already called the police and that others will step in at any moment or some even don't believe that this is really happening. Only a few people seem to be impervious to this actual effect. Just like some people seeing a car speeding at them will freeze and some will jump out of the way or when people see flashing lights, some will just drive right into the lights (cop cars stopping someone). It's that genetically, some people react unconsciously in different ways given a specific situation or stimuli. So next time realize that this is very real and that some people can't help unless they are literally slapped in the face to get them out of their haze. Others just refuse to help. Those are the ones to blame.
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    There was an incident last year that a man was shot in a fast food parking lot and people literally stepped over him to go get their food. (Texas?).

    Things are going a lot further than Bystander effect. We are being forced into mass socialization which is causing depersonalization. Human social instinct is tribal like dogs, not mass social like ants. Put that together with the fact that there are factions who are exerting mass control and you end up with what in literature is called existentialism - everyone is becoming their own little universe isolated from others.

    What is most frightening to me is that 2/3 of those bystanders would kill you if told to by an authority in the right situation -- just because they were told to do so. Forget the name of those experiments but they were frightening at the very least.

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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      So my question is, why didn't any of them help this poor man? Would it have been so bad if they were late to work by 10 minutes? Why were they all waiting for 'superman' to arrive when anyone who can see and walk could have helped him?
      Had any of those people been walking alone there's a good chance they would have helped. In a group maybe everyone waits for someone else to lead in offering help?

      You did offer help - and have the satisfaction of it. People react differently to situations and that's not new.
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    • Profile picture of the author John Durham
      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post


      Things are going a lot further than Bystander effect. We are being forced into mass socialization which is causing depersonalization. Human social instinct is tribal like dogs, not mass social like ants.
      Warriors evidence of what you are saying as a dog pack so to speak. Also unlike ants we have individual personal preferences, we arent built to conform only to head toward what we want like babies, only in the adult world.

      I agree that the bystander affect is illustrated well in this OP. People will wait for someone else to make the move if there is an option.
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  • Profile picture of the author Alan Petersen
    Was he homeless/street person? That increases the possibility that no one will help.

    I was on one of the busiest streets in San Francisco, jam packed with tourists from all over the world. I was waiting for my wife who was at Sephora and a drunk old guy with a cane toppled over trying to get over a chain-linked fence thing. His cane went flying down the street.

    I was the only person who helped him. Once I got him up on his feet he fell again (did I say he was drunk). Again, I was the only person to help him get up. Everyone else just starred at him.

    He was drunk, he was a bit dirty, and he smelled, so I think that's why no one wanted to help him up. He was wearing a veterans jacket so odds are this guy served his country and people were willing to just let him lay there on a busy street.
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  • Profile picture of the author james1986
    Can I have a url of such video or any one who can create so that I can share that on my social Networking sites.
    I am not sure but I guess by this We can have more help for this poor guy
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  • Profile picture of the author SamirRastogi
    Originally Posted by Joe Mobley View Post

    The answer to your question is found in the excellent book,
    Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion
    by Robert Cialdini.
    Joe Mobley
    Thanks....I just placed an order to buy this book.

    Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

    What is most frightening to me is that 2/3 of those bystanders would kill you if told to by an authority in the right situation -- just because they were told to do so. Forget the name of those experiments but they were frightening at the very least.
    I just looked it up. It's called the Stanley Milgram Experiment.


    Originally Posted by Alan Petersen View Post

    Was he homeless/street person? That increases the possibility that no one will help.
    This was actually a well dressed man and I have seen him before. He usually walks pretty fast for someone who is totally blind. The construction in the area required him to take a detour and that's what threw him off.
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    • Profile picture of the author abundantlife
      This is not a new phenomenon. Here's a story from a couple of thousand years ago.

      In reply Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. 31 A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. 32 So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33 But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. 34 He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. 35 The next day he took out two denarii[c] and gave them to the innkeeper. 'Look after him,' he said, 'and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.'
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      • Profile picture of the author larrydcook
        Originally Posted by abundantlife View Post

        This is not a new phenomenon. Here's a story from a couple of thousand years ago.

        In reply Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. 31 A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. 32 So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33 But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. 34 He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. 35 The next day he took out two denarii[c] and gave them to the innkeeper. 'Look after him,' he said, 'and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.'
        It is still true today a good Samaritan ( which were hated by the religious )
        are in the small percent group. It just takes time & selflessness to care about someone! Another spiritual not religious principal is do unto others as you would have them do unto you!
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  • Profile picture of the author Alan Petersen
    And sometimes people come together to do the right thing while risking their own lives...

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  • Profile picture of the author DotComBum
    It's not just them, most of us are like them too, I means the bystanders, our natural thinking is that someone will come out to help and that stop us from being the first one to step out to help, or we care too much about the 'stares' of the bystanders if we help the poor fellow, I think we should change our thinking and be the first one to come out to help.
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  • Profile picture of the author Patrician
    In our own defense, for every 10 pigs there is probably a hero or someone who actually did step up to help someone in need. You do read about them all the time. (the heroes)

    There is also the factor of AIDS and the phobias that have come into play since its advent. I have personally always been squeamish and the thought of having to give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation even to someone I know is sickening. Even EMTs etc have rubber shields, gloves, etc. - AIDS is probably not transmissible this way unless you have a cut or sore in your mouth, but definitely hepatitis is and it can kill you.

    Then there is the lawsuit thing where people are scared to step up because they could be sued if the person is injured for example if you hurt them trying to help them - I know this sounds far-fetched and like a rationalization but it does happen.

    One last 'Y' is that from a distance everybody probably feels sorry for the homeless and think anybody who doesn't is a monster. However in real life they are often horrible abusive drunks and people who actually won't accept shelters or help. Lots of them have tuberculosis which is also highly transmissible.

    I am not saying all homeless people are like this but if you ever have to go to work and step over them laying in doorways that they use as their personal toilets, like in cities like San Francisco, you will find your sympathy and concern is just not there anymore. All you can think of is you wish they would go away. They may even assault you when you are trying to give them money and it is usually a good idea to do your good deeds to a charity that serves people who actually want to be helped.

    With all that said, I would probably help the guy you described as he just needed some eyes for a few minutes.

    I thank you for being a blessing to this poor man and I am sure he will always remember you for your kindness and concern.
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  • Profile picture of the author zackick
    it is because in this economic hard time everyone want to get fast to their work place to avoid been terminated lo
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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    I've helped people in similar situations, with similar crowd reactions. Why did I help? I actually think it's because I'm a little bit antisocial.
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  • Profile picture of the author seasoned
    I've BEEN that man and experienced worse. The time that delta layed what amounted to be a trap that I succumbed to, layed bleeding, bruised more than anyone, my nose cut in half. SERIOUSLY! DELTA didn't seem to care. They wouldn't even let me have a mirror so I could figure out how bad off I was. BTW they decided to move those traps, but STILL have the stupid rat maze deal.

    I once indicated that I might be unable to walk , because I wasn't able to walk because of THEIR negligence! AFTER I got on the plane, through the maze, they had te AUDACITY to ask me if I needed help getting on the plane! NO, I am NOT kidding! I told them that LUCKILY I could manage, but HOW could they plan to get me on the plane, through that maze? She said laughingly that they could manage! Let's see. They would have to get 2 people capable of lifting maybe 600 pounds EACH! One would have to get in front of me. One would have to get in back of me. They would have to carry over 300 pounds down about 5 flights of stairs, and up one. Of course, the stairs may break or they may slip and three or more people could DIE!

    So HOW do they USUALLY do it? The FORGET the stairs and the rat maze, and setup a jetway and just ROLL the person onboard. SIMPLE! But preparing for THAT option could take over an hour! They would have to dismantle the rat maze, possibly move the gate, find a jetway driver,inform the pilot, etc...

    I was going to tell heysal that I wished she were wrong about the idea of people killing one after a mere REQUEST but, AGAIN, I have seen WORSE. MURDERS, TORTURE, and even wasting MONTHS! OH I could give you examples in the news, even TODAY, etc..., but....

    Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author seasoned
    BTW do you know where the term good Samaritan comes from? In a bible story, it has this story. I'll summarize and translate.

    A man is lying on the ground helpless, bleeding, and pleading for help.
    A relative passes by and ignores him.
    A friend passes by and ignores him.
    A lodgemember passes by and ignores him.
    An ENEMY comes by, picks him up and cares for him.

    The ENEMY? A SAMARITAN KNOWN to dislike his people!

    Really! It is kind of like saying don't judge a book by its cover. ALL those people that had so many reasons to help him, and they IGNORED him! ANOTHER had reason NOT to help him, and DID help him!

    Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author xenonlamp
    who does not help poor is not a human
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  • Profile picture of the author Patrician
    It is not that Samaritans were hated at all.

    The point is that those that are saved are saved by grace, not works.

    It is that there is no reward for doing what is right - you should just do it. (that is other than the good karma, good feelings you will have if you do right).

    No brownie points...

    You can spend yourself entirely doing what is right, but if you do not have the grace (faith/belief) you are going down just like any other person who is cursed because they do not have life.

    Just goes to show it is not about being 'religious' at all. Not about good deeds, rituals or outward appearances - it is entirely unseen (spiritual).

    Let's chill on the so-called 'religious' discussion as it is forbidden in the Warrior Forum. I am just correcting bad information as it is only fair to have misinformation that is allowed to be posted here to be corrected...
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  • Profile picture of the author kentah
    The thing is everybody waits for someone to act first
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    • Profile picture of the author DEaFeYe
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      • Profile picture of the author seasoned
        Originally Posted by DEaFeYe View Post

        This is very true.

        I remember back on '05 where, on my way to get a breakfast sandwich, 2 gentlemen started yelling and a fist-fight began to break out. There must have been 50 or so people gathered around (it was center city philly).

        Without hesitation or thinking I just moved right into the center of the two and forced them apart yelling "Break it up. Go to your ****ing jobs!" (they were both wearing suit/tie so they must have "been important" or some crap).

        After i got in the center, 4 or 5 others helped pulling the 2 apart, but looking back on it, no one moved until i wedged myself right in the center of the two.
        Going between them and pushing apart is kind of dumb. It had NO hope of working, and you are lucky you didn't get hurt.

        And suits and ties mean NOTHING!!!!!!!! It is AMAZING how so many think they do. They mean NOTHING!!!!! Got that? GOOD!

        At the last company I worked at, I wore a suit and tie sometimes. WHY? I was working for a bank, and my boss wanted me to fit in and look like I came from a place like IBM. They used to ALWAYS wear suts and ties at IBM! WHY? It was kind of a UNIFORM, like at my last job. I wore a suit once in malibu. WOW, I must have been rich, successful, and "been important", HUH? NOPE! I went to a reception after my fathers second marriage. The average person there, outside of the help, probably made WELL over 40 times what I did. One time, near the van nuys court house I wore a suit and tie. Some poor BUM there even mentioned the "nice suit and tie" in a feeble attempt to get me to give her money! WHY did I wear it? It was my FIRST attempt to go to the city clerk to get a DBA and the SBOE to get a tax permit.

        And I had to go past the metal detector in the court house. GEE, I must have been a lawyer or criminal, huh? NOPE! I had to go through there to get to the city clerks office.

        BTW take a look next time at insurance agents, financial company employees, etc... MANY wear suits. Heck, I knew a guy once that ACTED important, always wore a suit and tie, etc.... He was unemployed, and unskilled.

        I have TWO suits. One I bought about 4 years ago to go on an interview. I was asked to do so. I got the job and haven't worn it since!

        Steve
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        • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
          Originally Posted by seasoned View Post

          <snip>

          I have TWO suits. One I bought about 4 years ago to go on an interview. I was asked to do so. I got the job and haven't worn it since!

          Steve
          Doesn't it depend on the job or corporate environment? Suits for IBM but not for Apple.
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          • Profile picture of the author seasoned
            Originally Posted by thunderbird View Post

            Doesn't it depend on the job or corporate environment? Suits for IBM but not for Apple.
            Actually a financial magazine, like 30 years ago called attention to this. Apple normally WOULD have had the executives wear suits. Some MAY have, sometimes. Still, the income ranges may be like $10K into well into the billions. So there is no correlation. In fact, some people earning $30K mmay have "better" suits than BUFFETT!

            Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author seasoned
    Some "marketers" have actually admitted to, or suggested, using plants in the audience to act in such a way as to give credence to their techniques or statements, and to buy to start making others to think they might miss out.

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    • Profile picture of the author Joe Mobley
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      Originally Posted by seasoned View Post

      Some "marketers" have actually admitted to, or suggested, using plants in the audience to act in such a way as to give credence to their techniques or statements, and to buy to start making others to think they might miss out.

      Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author cashtree
    Originally Posted by SamirRastogi View Post

    So I was on my daily route this morning and saw a bruised blind man standing near a construction area. I ran to him as fast as I could and when I reached him, I noticed that he had a scrape of blood on his forehead and he looked very confused and nervous. I slowly held his hand and told him that I would take him to his destination. I was carrying about 25 helium balloons in my hands so it was a bit difficult but I managed.

    It was a busy street and as we took a couple of steps I noticed a huge crowd of people standing at a bus stop looking at me with a sigh of relief. These people were waiting for their NYC bound bus which arrives every 10 minutes.

    So my question is, why didn't any of them help this poor man? Would it have been so bad if they were late to work by 10 minutes? Why were they all waiting for 'superman' to arrive when anyone who can see and walk could have helped him?

    -Samir

    P.S. I posted this in the main forum and before the MODs removed it, someone commented that it could be due to what's known as a Bystander effect where the more bystanders there are, the less likely anyone will actually do something.

    I find it hard to believe that there is a term for something like this.
    God Bless you friend, I pray The Lord brings you success in all you do.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kurt
    Originally Posted by SamirRastogi View Post

    So I was on my daily route this morning and saw a bruised blind man standing near a construction area. I ran to him as fast as I could and when I reached him, I noticed that he had a scrape of blood on his forehead and he looked very confused and nervous. I slowly held his hand and told him that I would take him to his destination. I was carrying about 25 helium balloons in my hands so it was a bit difficult but I managed.

    It was a busy street and as we took a couple of steps I noticed a huge crowd of people standing at a bus stop looking at me with a sigh of relief. These people were waiting for their NYC bound bus which arrives every 10 minutes.

    So my question is, why didn't any of them help this poor man? Would it have been so bad if they were late to work by 10 minutes? Why were they all waiting for 'superman' to arrive when anyone who can see and walk could have helped him?

    -Samir

    P.S. I posted this in the main forum and before the MODs removed it, someone commented that it could be due to what's known as a Bystander effect where the more bystanders there are, the less likely anyone will actually do something.

    I find it hard to believe that there is a term for something like this.
    What matters is, YOU helped.

    About 25 years ago, I was on a road trip and came across a young family that had broken down on the highway. I drove past and didn't stop. To this day, it haunts me and I can still see their faces clearly.

    I will say, they were in a place where plenty of traffic went by, so I didn't leave them stranded in a situation where I was the only one that could help them...But that's the problem. I left them thinking someone else will help them. it still bothers me even now that I didn't stop to help. It will never happen again.
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    • Profile picture of the author cashtree
      Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

      What matters is, YOU helped.

      About 25 years ago, I was on a road trip and came across a young family that had broken down on the highway. I drove past and didn't stop. To this day, it haunts me and I can still see their faces clearly.

      I will say, they were in a place where plenty of traffic went by, so I didn't leave them stranded in a situation where I was the only one that could help them...But that's the problem. I left them thinking someone else will help them. it still bothers me even now that I didn't stop to help. It will never happen again.
      Yeah I live in Virginia(US), if you break down people will honk like crazy behind you and look forward to their opportunity to give you the middle finger on the way past...heard about a guy who broke down in canada and the first family that came by stopped, called a tow truck for him, welcome him to their home for dinner etc...they also apparently don't lock their doors out there, completely different atmosphere.
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      • Profile picture of the author seasoned
        Originally Posted by cashtree View Post

        heard about a guy who broke down in canada and the first family that came by stopped, called a tow truck for him, welcome him to their home for dinner etc...they also apparently don't lock their doors out there, completely different atmosphere.
        There ARE people and places like that HERE, in the US.

        Steve
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      • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
        Originally Posted by cashtree View Post

        <snip>...heard about a guy who broke down in canada and the first family that came by stopped, called a tow truck for him, welcome him to their home for dinner etc...they also apparently don't lock their doors out there, completely different atmosphere.

        I wish that applied to all Canadian regions, but alas it isn't so where I live in Canada, in gangster and drug user territory.
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        • Profile picture of the author Alan Petersen
          Originally Posted by thunderbird View Post

          I wish that applied to all Canadian regions, but alas it isn't so where I live in Canada, in gangster and drug user territory.
          Exactly. My grandparents never locked their house in their farm in rural Minnesota. My uncle always left his keys in his car ignition in the small town he lived. We would laugh that we couldn't do that in Minneapolis.

          So there are parts where you can still do stuff like that in the U.S. just not a big city, more urban location.
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  • Profile picture of the author 711gemstone
    I try to allways help somone in need. I should not matter who or what they are.
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  • Profile picture of the author dagaul101
    It's sad in this day and age, people don't want to get involved, don't want the publicity or simply don't care
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  • Profile picture of the author AlexDoerian
    maybe everyone is selfish and only care about themselves.
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  • Profile picture of the author Justin Says
    Originally Posted by SamirRastogi View Post

    So I was on my daily route this morning and saw a bruised blind man standing near a construction area. I ran to him as fast as I could and when I reached him, I noticed that he had a scrape of blood on his forehead and he looked very confused and nervous. I slowly held his hand and told him that I would take him to his destination. I was carrying about 25 helium balloons in my hands so it was a bit difficult but I managed.

    It was a busy street and as we took a couple of steps I noticed a huge crowd of people standing at a bus stop looking at me with a sigh of relief. These people were waiting for their NYC bound bus which arrives every 10 minutes.

    So my question is, why didn't any of them help this poor man? Would it have been so bad if they were late to work by 10 minutes? Why were they all waiting for 'superman' to arrive when anyone who can see and walk could have helped him?

    -Samir

    P.S. I posted this in the main forum and before the MODs removed it, someone commented that it could be due to what's known as a Bystander effect where the more bystanders there are, the less likely anyone will actually do something.

    I find it hard to believe that there is a term for something like this.
    For one, we don't know the situation (unless you stated it somewhere in the posts after your initial statement).

    But where I live that type of thing doesn't happen very often.

    I live in Virginia, so compared to NYC it would be somewhat country like.

    My theory is that the bystander effect could be somewhat realistic as I have never been around a huge group of people. But no matter the incident around the areas that I live, people will stop for one another.

    I ride motorcycles and organize a large community of riders and we have had bikers go down where cars stop in the middle of the street to help us out. It's rare that we have people pass us on the roads without any concern.

    But I will say this.

    Recently there was a dude that was fired for saving a lady from a fire...

    So maybe that has some effect on people and they are just afraid?

    In the end, you did a great thing, screw those that don't help others (I'm being mean to get the point across), we all need to look out for each other one way or another, otherwise there would be total chaos.
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