Who Needs Enemies When You Are Married?

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Alright Warriors

This is an unsual post because I am going to rant and moan about my own actual life and why am here sharing this depressing life with you guys because I am sure I am not the only married or in love and have been there..

Right onto my own/rant

My wife yet again wants to moan at me because I am not working and havent done so for quite a while. Not that the fact I have tried to work in the real world, because according to her online world is not the real world at all. I not actually working if I am at home using the computer and trying to bring some money online. She doesnt realise that I am really trying my hardest to bring some money in, don't get me wrong I would like to wake up tomorrow morning and have £1,000 sitting there all to myself, who woudln't? But it's not going to happen like that, it's going to take time and a lot of work.. And she just doesn't get it!

Ever time she has ago at me and she doesn't realise that she is doing it. She is litterally having a go at me! Calling me a looser. Yet again I am a failure because something I want to do online is not bring in the big bucks straight away..

She doesn't realise that by her keep doing that it is making more determind to prove her wrong..

That's my rant for today..........

So who needs enemies when you are married, eh???
#enemies #married
  • Profile picture of the author Jim Guererro
    My wife has her doubts about me as well but the best antidote for that type of skepticism is results. You didn't mention in your post what you have been doing to generate income but no matter. Get some writing gigs going where you can start getting paid right away. Show your results to her and tell her that you just need to ramp things up for even more money.

    A lot of things to do online if you put your mind to it.
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    • Profile picture of the author Byron_Wells
      Originally Posted by Jim Guererro View Post

      My wife has her doubts about me as well but the best antidote for that type of skepticism is results. You didn't mention in your post what you have been doing to generate income but no matter. Get some writing gigs going where you can start getting paid right away. Show your results to her and tell her that you just need to ramp things up for even more money.

      A lot of things to do online if you put your mind to it.
      If you are talking about Fiverr.com they only accept paypal at the moment. But I have a problem with paypal.. So unless they can pay me other ways I can't use them
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  • Profile picture of the author CyberAlien
    Originally Posted by Byron_Wells View Post

    She doesnt realise that I am really trying my hardest to bring some money in
    Who cares if you're "trying your hardest"? That's something a kid tells his teacher when he can't finish his homework.

    You have to remember that your bank, landlord, car dealerships, bill collectors, cell phone providers, hosting companies - all those companies that you generally pay monthly - don't care how hard you're "trying" to make money. In the end, the only thing that matters is that you're making enough to pay for everything that needs to be paid for.

    If anything, use it as motivation to prove her wrong.
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    • Profile picture of the author Byron_Wells
      Originally Posted by Chase Watts View Post

      Who cares if you're "trying your hardest"? That's something a kid tells his teacher when he can't finish his homework.

      You have to remember that your bank, landlord, car dealerships, bill collectors, cell phone providers, hosting companies - all those companies that you generally pay monthly - don't care how hard you're "trying" to make money. In the end, the only thing that matters is that you're making enough to pay for everything that needs to be paid for.

      If anything, use it as motivation to prove her wrong.

      Trust me I am
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      • Profile picture of the author professorrosado
        A woman needs security - she naturally seeks shelter and comfort for her family. You are not appealing to what makes a woman feel safe and secure (with you) or your situation.

        I also understand and agree with your steadfastness in insisting on success at your passion (assuming that IM / niche is it ).

        I propose that you do both - simply gather together the skills you already have and I'm sure there are a handful of businesses / people in your area that would like someone to make their life easier online. Sell your services to them and work on both your thing and theirs - atleast now your wife will be seeing green when she sees you at the PC.

        But your other rant will then be: HELP! My wife won't stop loving and kissing me all over - I can't finish any of my work! This is my problem - see ya later!
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        • Profile picture of the author Byron_Wells
          Originally Posted by professorrosado View Post

          A woman needs security - she naturally seeks shelter and comfort for her family. You are not appealing to what makes a woman feel safe and secure (with you) or your situation.

          I also understand and agree with your steadfastness in insisting on success at your passion (assuming that IM / niche is it ).

          I propose that you do both - simply gather together the skills you already have and I'm sure there are a handful of businesses / people in your area that would like someone to make their life easier online. Sell your services to them and work on both your thing and theirs - atleast now your wife will be seeing green when she sees you at the PC.

          But your other rant will then be: HELP! My wife won't stop loving and kissing me all over - I can't finish any of my work! This is my problem - see ya later!

          Hmm an interesting idea
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    • Profile picture of the author Bill Cousins
      That's why I like being 50 and still single! All I have to worry about is me and MY bills, I do what I want to when I want to!

      Not saying being married is all bad but in my experience (friends) 90% are miserable LOL.

      Actually... I did almost get married once, the girl I had been dating for about 2 years was driving me crazy about "GETTING MARRIED" and I was about to give in when one day she says to me about a new business I had just started... "Well... you can try it for a month and if it is not profitable you have to close it up and go get a REAL job".

      We were broken up about month later. That was 15 years ago!

      Your a better man than I !

      BC
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      • Profile picture of the author Byron_Wells
        Originally Posted by Bill Cousins View Post

        That's why I like being 50 and still single! All I have to worry about is me and MY bills, I do what I want to when I want to!

        Not saying being married is all bad but in my experience (friends) 90% are miserable LOL.

        Actually... I did almost get married once, the girl I had been dating for about 2 years was driving me crazy about "GETTING MARRIED" and I was about to give in when one day she says to me about a new business I had just started... "Well... you can try it for a month and if it is not profitable you have to close it up and go get a REAL job".

        We were broken up about month later. That was 15 years ago!

        Your a better man than I !

        BC
        Bill

        Lol You had a lucky escape.....
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        • Profile picture of the author Bill Cousins
          Originally Posted by Byron_Wells View Post

          Bill

          Lol You had a lucky escape.....
          Wasn't luck I planned it that way! :p
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      • Profile picture of the author CyberAlien
        Originally Posted by Bill Cousins View Post

        "Well... you can try it for a month and if it is not profitable you have to close it up and go get a REAL job".
        Oh yea, well that right there is a deal breaker

        You should have said "No, if this doesn't work out then you're going to be working 2 jobs."
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  • Profile picture of the author Byron_Wells
    Originally Posted by Paul M View Post

    If you're not working and haven't done for quite a while and doing your own things hasn't worked out yet, then who is supporting you?

    I have a feeling your wife might be right.


    -Paul
    Maybe because things do take a time.. There is no instant success
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  • Profile picture of the author Roaddog
    You got that right...

    Can't live with 'em, can't herd 'em into Canada.

    Pass the beer nuts...



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    • Profile picture of the author Byron_Wells
      Originally Posted by Roaddog View Post

      You got that right...

      Can't live with 'em, can't herd 'em into Canada.

      Pass the beer nuts...
      You're telling me not even Canada would take them? Have no idea where we can send them and forget about them all... lol
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      • Don't worry about it, Byron. Your wife won't be a problem much longer.

        And then you'll be able to spend all the time you like on the computer.

        fLufF
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        • Profile picture of the author Byron_Wells
          Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post

          Don't worry about it, Byron. Your wife won't be a problem much longer.

          And then you'll be able to spend all the time you like on the computer.

          fLufF
          --
          She might be a pain in the rear, but I definately do not want that to happen, if I get te feeling what you're talking about. I do love that girl even tho she does my head in
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        • Profile picture of the author Padou
          Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post

          Don't worry about it, Byron. Your wife won't be a problem much longer.

          And then you'll be able to spend all the time you like on the computer.

          fLufF
          --
          Thats rough we don't want her to leave him
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    I wonder if your wife is on a forum or chatting with her friends over a drink saying things like "I love him but I'm really tired of struggling and working 24/7 just to support dead weight. I'm getting so tired, and I know I could live so much better without him".
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    Sal
    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
    Beyond the Path

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  • Profile picture of the author Padou
    My 2 cents is that all women need security and that comes in one language which is global and its called Cash , Money $$$ best thing is to be confident , blieve in yourself get running ie excercise and find anything to bring in money pay the bills and give her money if its not enough then she complains again then you did your best and the secret is kill the fear she smells on you and she will leave you alone
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  • Profile picture of the author John Durham
    When you get tired enough of the moaning you will quit trying and just "make some money online". Its really like 'that". The sale is made in the mind of the salesman.

    Get out of the "trying" mentality and just make a darn transaction. Thats all it is. I dont know too many wives who complain about money.

    Yes I have been there, so I have a right to speak.

    When I was a young broke salesman looking for a job, another salesman told me when I said the same thing, "There arent too many marital problems that a few grand cant make better."

    Thats a generalization, but wives want to see husbands provide. The day you decide to quit trying and start making money you WILL.

    Ps. When you lay a big fat stack of cash on the table she will know online is "real", so do it and quit monkeying around! Im with her....or get a (yuck) J-O-B.

    Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

    I wonder if your wife is on a forum or chatting with her friends over a drink saying things like "I love him but I'm really tired of struggling and working 24/7 just to support dead weight. I'm getting so tired, and I know I could live so much better without him".
    Yup , and they are probably saying back "Girl you better lose that man and get you somebody who will work"!

    Hope this wakes him up. Money is only one transaction away, you just have to quit toying and "make one".

    PPS. You have a sig link option here to offer anything you want for sale. How serious can you be about making a transaction if you arent even making an "offer" with almost 600 posts?

    Originally Posted by Byron_Wells View Post

    If you are talking about Fiverr.com they only accept paypal at the moment. But I have a problem with paypal.. So unless they can pay me other ways I can't use them
    Call a brother, sister, aunt, uncle, friend... and ask them to set up a paypal account for you til you can fix it. Offer them a processing fee.... There are ways when you decide to do it.
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    • Yup , and they are probably saying back "Girl you better lose that man and get you somebody who will work"!

      And it's not just her friends.

      What do you think her parents say? Could it be "Honey, why don't you come home for a while until things get better?"

      fLufF
      --
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      Love microjobs? Work when you want and get paid in cash the same day!
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  • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
    Allow me to quote someone I admire:

    "You are what you are and where you are because of what goes on in your mind. If your thinking and behavior isn't producing the desired results, it's clear you have to change them. Your business is never really good or bad "out there," it's good or bad between your ears."
    - Zig Ziglar

    Think about Zig's words. There's a lot of truth to what he says.
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    Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.

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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    Your experience is probably the most common one around for artists and entrepreneurs and, sadly, most fail. In discussions with people who defy the odds in the world's competitive fields and succeed, I've noticed that most of them made things happen themselves before anybody got on board with them. I'll take a wild guess and say if you make money at it first on a consistent basis, and deposit thousands of dollars into your wife's bank account, then your wife will probably come on board. Worked for me, anyway.
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  • Profile picture of the author hblzr1
    LOL. She's not your enemy just your drill sergeant! All that matters is results! Now that you've had your rant stop hanging around the forums and get back to work!

    Seriously, the majority of people are not entrepreneurial, so unless you discussed this before your were married it may not be fair to say she doesn't get it. In fact she may be more of a businessman than you give her credit for. No business can survive without cash flow. How long do you think your relationship will survive without money?

    Suck it up. Forgive her and forget what she said and find a way to bring home the gold!
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      Same complaint - different generation?

      Teens complain "my parents don't believe my IM dreams" - while the parents are paying all the bills. Your wife may be saying "I'm tired of supporting you".

      Resentment grows and festers. If your wife decides you are too great a burden to carry - you'll be history. I've seen marriages break up over IM when the spouse talked a good game and earned nothing. The men ended up getting a job to support themselves after the divorce.

      Don't be a fool. Listen to what your wife is saying - it's motivated by fear and frustration. You can work a job and do IM part time until you reach the level where you can support yourself. You don't say how long you've been glued to your computer but it seems like a long time to her.
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      Saving one dog will not change the world - but the world changes forever for that one dog
      ***
      It actually doesn't take much to be considered a 'difficult woman' -
      that's why there are so many of us.
      ...jane goodall
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  • Profile picture of the author slickymedia
    Originally Posted by Byron_Wells View Post

    Alright Warriors

    This is an unsual post because I am going to rant and moan about my own actual life and why am here sharing this depressing life with you guys because I am sure I am not the only married or in love and have been there..

    Right onto my own/rant

    My wife yet again wants to moan at me because I am not working and havent done so for quite a while. Not that the fact I have tried to work in the real world, because according to her online world is not the real world at all. I not actually working if I am at home using the computer and trying to bring some money online. She doesnt realise that I am really trying my hardest to bring some money in, don't get me wrong I would like to wake up tomorrow morning and have £1,000 sitting there all to myself, who woudln't? But it's not going to happen like that, it's going to take time and a lot of work.. And she just doesn't get it!

    Ever time she has ago at me and she doesn't realise that she is doing it. She is litterally having a go at me! Calling me a looser. Yet again I am a failure because something I want to do online is not bring in the big bucks straight away..

    She doesn't realise that by her keep doing that it is making more determind to prove her wrong..

    That's my rant for today..........

    So who needs enemies when you are married, eh???
    You have my sympathy mate.
    I am married already its our first year anniversary today. And we already had a lot of trouble for our first year as a couple.
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  • Profile picture of the author mllnsgrl
    It doesn't matter how you bring in the CASH - just start bringing some in. Your wife may be stressed out, and getting on your case. If you do your part, she will relax, appreciate you, be a lot nicer, and everything will be so much better.

    Sounds like you may be in a rut. Do something different, spend time in a different place during the day and new ideas will start to come in. Maybe get a real job and do im on weekends, or at night.
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  • Profile picture of the author Padou
    What ever you have suprise her , every now and then , ignore her when she bitches and just smile keep focussed and she is pushing you for the better don't feel sorry for yourself , start running , clear your head, swim, believe in yourself i do! Women all women mothers, sisters, wives just want security and being taken care of or sense of security they can't handle fear and uncertainty.Don't try and explain too much to her because she won't understand, YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE! And if it helps always remind yourself that she needs you more than you need her! God Bless & God Speed to the pot of gold that awaits you my friend!
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    • Profile picture of the author Steven Wagenheim
      "Do or Do not. There is no try."

      Yoda - Star Wars - The Empire Strikes Back.
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      • Profile picture of the author AprilCT
        Byron, especially when you are married, you have an obligation to work and support your family. If your wife is paying all the bills, it's not surprising the situation upsets her, and you need to care about her and her needs. By the way, how long have you been attempting to earn online? If you have been at this awhile and it isn't working for you, it's more like having a hobby.

        You need to get an outside job, step up to the plate and support your family. Do the IM part time until you get a good enough income constantly going that will actually last, then consider working from home after you consult with your wife and jointly agree on the rules of how it must work, or you go back out there into a brick and mortar.

        It takes two people to make a marriage work. You are working to achieve online income, but your situation isn't a healthy one right now. The income from your marketing will come, but you need to keep the well-being of your marriage a priority.
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    • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
      Originally Posted by Padou View Post

      <snip>Don't try and explain too much to her because she won't understand, YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE! <snip>

      "The Roses of Success"
      (song in the movie Chitty Chitty Bang Bang)

      Every bursted bubble has a glory!
      Each abysmal failure makes a point!
      Every glowing path that goes astray,
      Shows you how to find a better way.
      So every time you stumble never grumble.
      Next time you'll bumble even less!
      For up from the ashes, up from the ashes, grow the roses of success!
      Grow the roses!
      Grow the roses!
      Grow the roses of success!
      Oh yes!
      Grow the roses!
      Those rosy roses!
      From the ashes of disaster grow the roses of success!
      (spoken)Yes I know but he wants it to float. It will!
      For every big mistake you make be grateful!
      Here, here!
      That mistake you'll never make again!
      No sir!
      Every shiny dream that fades and dies,
      Generates the steam for two more tries!
      (Oh) There's magic in the wake of a fiasco!
      Correct!
      It gives you that chance to second guess!
      Oh yes!
      Then up from the ashes, up from the ashes grow the roses of success!
      Grow the roses!
      Grow the roses!
      Grow the roses of success!
      Grow the roses!
      Those rosy roses!
      From the ashes of disaster grow the roses of success!
      Disaster didn't stymie Louis Pasteur!
      No sir!
      Edison took years to see the light!
      Right!
      Alexander Graham knew failure well; he took a lot of knocks to ring that
      bell!
      So when it gets distressing it's a blessing!
      Onward and upward you must press!
      Yes, Yes!
      Till up from the ashes, up from the ashes grow the roses of success.
      Grow the ro
      Grow the ro
      Grow the roses!
      Grow the ro
      Grow the ro
      Grow the roses!
      Grow the roses of success!
      Grow the ro
      Grow the ro
      Grow the roses!
      Those rosy ro
      Those rosy ro
      Those rosy roses!
      From the ashes of disaster, grow the roses of success!
      Start the engines!
      Success!
      Batten the hatches!
      Success!
      Man the shrouds!
      Lift the anchor!
      Success!
      Signature

      Project HERE.

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  • Profile picture of the author paul_1
    All she needs is results... Let her be your inspiration instead...
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  • Profile picture of the author kokopelli
    Sleeping with the enemy, eh?

    No, actually, your wife should always be your best friend, and like any other friendship (e.g. with your buddies), it needs constant attention, nurturing and work.

    Good luck!
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    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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    • Profile picture of the author Byron_Wells
      Originally Posted by kokopelli View Post

      Sleeping with the enemy, eh?

      No, actually, your wife should always be your best friend, and like any other friendship (e.g. with your buddies), it needs constant attention, nurturing and work.

      Good luck!
      Trust me I do love sleeping with the enemy lol lol lol
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  • Profile picture of the author Alan Petersen
    Originally Posted by Byron_Wells View Post

    Alright Warriors


    She doesn't realise that by her keep doing that it is making more determind to prove her wrong..
    Sounds to me, that nothing would make her happier than for you to prove her wrong and start earning your keep.
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  • Profile picture of the author Byron_Wells
    To All Warriors that have replied to this post I do thank you all!!!! I was just having one of those days where you feel really low about yourself and nothing what you do seem to work.... I understand fully where everyone is coming from, even the ones where they said that she will leave me (fluffy) ...

    Lol women are really so confusing lol lol.... Just two days ago she came up with an idea to help me.. You see I am getting ready to launch my own product to the big wide world, which if it's your very first product is a very scary prospect....And yes we are both neverous to find out if it will make it or just be a flop. So of course we are going get into stressfull arugements. That's part of being married or rather in love.....

    On new years day I looked into my wife eyes and made her a promise that 2012 is going to be our year and no body elese. That means that she will be pregant by the end of this end, that I will be bring in money, etc, etc. I really feel that it's our YEAR!

    Oh and I will definately be dedicating my first product to her. without her being behind me, supporting me, understanding me, I would never ever have made it. Without her I am nothing..

    Rights that me done for rambling one... lol

    Thanks guys! And sorry for writing all these stupid posts
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