Peter the Rabbit

by 8 replies
9
As with Guy the Gorilla this is a true story, I know - I was there!!

Way back in 1970 I was a barman at The Little Mayfair Hotel in Down Street Mayfair.

One day a really weird thing happened.

A little rabbit complete with waistcoat, trousers and a monocle walked in and climbed up a barstool.
'Hello everybody, my name is Peter Rabbit, Earl of Green Park and I am the richest rabbit in London, drinks all round.'
He threw a wad of banknotes onto the bar and I checked to see if they were real, they were.
'Well everybody, I hear that you do splendid toasted sandwiches, I want another pint of bitter and a cheese and pickle toasted sandwich please barman.'

I served him, he wolfed it down.

'Another pint of bitter and a chicken curry toasted sandwich please barman'

I served him and he wolfed it down.

'Isn't this fun, drinks all round, and another pint for me and this time a bannana split toasted sandwich please barman.'

He wolfed it down and then grabbed at his throat and fell dead to the ground.

Patrician, no crying girl, it has a happy ending!

We buried him in the pub garden and said a few words over his little grave and went back to the bar to hold a wake with his money!!

Within minutes the ghost of Peter Rabbit appeared on the same barstool!!!

'Hello everybody, thanks for the funeral and kind words'

I asked the question

'Did our beer kill you, it is a bit rough!'

'Oh no dear chap, I died of 'mixing me toasties'

Well it's old but quietly amusing!
#off topic forum
  • Very funny!

    Thanks for the laugh this morning.
  • Um....uh....okay....I guess ya had to be there.

    I think you're punchline has avoided the continental English divide.
  • Actually the Little Mayfair Hotel did not have a garden, I made that bit up. In our lounge is an oil painting of Tower Bridge - apparantly I bought it whilst somewhat 'pissed' on a Sunday afternoon at the art fair that is held in Green Park every Sunday. I'd been to a jazz club in Earls Court and the doorman at the Dorchester witnessed me waving my new painting as I made my way up Brick Street to my flat. I awoke on the monday morning and saw it on top of a wardrobe. I learned of my exploits whilst serving pints. I had to get a wage advance, as I had spent my last penny!
  • You know.. you should write some nice little children story.. for real.. but target it to adults..

    YOu can be in oprah..
  • LOL, I was on BBC Radio last week, oh and by the way guys....


    ƃuısn ǝɹɐ sǝıuooן noʎ ʇɐɥʍ ǝǝs ı ɥo
  • waaaaah.

    David, I am crying because I don't get the joke. However it was a nice little story and especially the addendum/disclaimer in post #4. You are quite a good writer (and bs'er, lol)

    ok so i must be dense.

    somebunny woves yew!
    • [1] reply
    • I don't get it either. Could you be kind enough to explain the punch line?
      And please tell the curious among us how you got that text to be upside down? It's not an image, I'm pretty sure of that.

      If we could take a peak at your website, I bet it's lots of art and fun.

      Denise Lorraine
  • What do Rabbits die of?? myxomatosis - Google it -it's a play on words. LOL

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  • 9

    As with Guy the Gorilla this is a true story, I know - I was there!! Way back in 1970 I was a barman at The Little Mayfair Hotel in Down Street Mayfair.