I'm 22, I want a kid, but I don't need one.

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I'm 22 years old.

I have so much going for me with everything that I'm doing in life.

But sometimes it's not enough...

I never really had a close relationship with my family.

So I want to create a family..

I'm not going to anytime soon, but I wanted to share it.

My life is going in a direction where I'm going to be able to help out thousands of people, I own business's, starting up more business's, finding talented people and helping them express it.

But sometimes.. it's not enough. However bad that may sound, I wish I could see what it's like to have a child, to settle down, to relax.

I'm only 22, but I have so much to be thankful for in my life.

Again, I'm not going to have a kid anytime soon. Nor do I plan on starting a family yet, but I just wanted to share my thoughts with a selective group that might have the same mindset.

Thank you Warriors for listening.
  • Profile picture of the author candoit2
    I am 36 and just had my first one. It is an amazing experience. If you are ready for it, then all the power to you.

    Be ready for huge adjustments though to how you manage your time. :-)

    Aaron
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  • Profile picture of the author candoit2
    Justin, You could try being a big brother at the YMCA or something similar in your area.

    Lot's of kids who are looking for a role model and someone to spend time with them.

    Aaron
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    • Profile picture of the author Justin Says
      Originally Posted by AaronJones View Post

      Justin, You could try being a big brother at the YMCA or something similar in your area.

      Lot's of kids who are looking for a role model and someone to spend time with them.

      Aaron

      I already am

      Awesome suggestion for anyone reading this though.

      I am a big brother to about 6 different kids in the area.

      It's a great experience and I loooove being a role model, especially when there is so much evil in this world and kids need it.

      You reminded me of something and it gave me an idea. Thank you Aaron.
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      • Profile picture of the author MIB Mastermind
        Sounds like you'll be a great dad when the time comes.

        I'm 29 have 3 kids, the first one when I was 23 then 2 in the space of 11 months, last year.

        Man it's hard work (but rewarding) the only thing I would have done differently was make sure I was more financially secure before I had my first... those were some rocky times.

        Thankfully the last 3 years or so have been great, I guess the added pressure of having a kid to support and provide for finally gave me the jolt I needed to take action and implement.
        Originally Posted by Justin Lewis View Post

        I already am

        Awesome suggestion for anyone reading this though.

        I am a big brother to about 6 different kids in the area.

        It's a great experience and I loooove being a role model, especially when there is so much evil in this world and kids need it.

        You reminded me of something and it gave me an idea. Thank you Aaron.
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  • Profile picture of the author bravo75
    Kids. Who needs 'em, eh?
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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      Those who want to become grandparents!

      Terra
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    • Profile picture of the author Justin Says
      Originally Posted by bravo75 View Post

      Kids. Who needs 'em, eh?
      You were once a kid

      I hated childhood. I hated growing up. I felt left out of everything. I was the loner, the bullied, the ignored.

      I want a kid so that I can teach them about life, different than that of what our current society leads people to believe.

      Don't care if it's a boy or a girl, don't care if the child is born with a disability (however I pray not), however my child comes out, I will love them and I will show them how to be kind and generous to others.
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      • Profile picture of the author bravo75
        Originally Posted by Justin Lewis View Post

        You were once a kid

        I hated childhood. I hated growing up. I felt left out of everything. I was the loner, the bullied, the ignored.

        I want a kid so that I can teach them about life, different than that of what our current society leads people to believe.

        Don't care if it's a boy or a girl, don't care if the child is born with a disability (however I pray not), however my child comes out, I will love them and I will show them how to be kind and generous to others.
        I didn't mean it that way. I was alluding to your thread title.
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  • Profile picture of the author Invert Planet
    the sooner the better. It is too late for us (my wife and I).

    See the movie idiocracy. The intro defines us. We just waited and waited... never thinking the moment was right. Now the moment is gone.
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  • Profile picture of the author Justin Says
    @Invert, I feel for you. I really do. This is one reason I am deeply concerned and want to start a family.

    I have saved myself until the age of 25.

    I know I can adopt and I will love the child just as much, but if I can have a kid around 25 - 27 I'm going for it.

    But that of course means I need to find the right spouse.
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    • Profile picture of the author bravo75
      Originally Posted by Justin Lewis View Post

      @Invert, I feel for you. I really do. This is one reason I am deeply concerned and want to start a family.

      I have saved myself until the age of 25.

      I know I can adopt and I will love the child just as much, but if I can have a kid around 25 - 27 I'm going for it.

      But that of course means I need to find the right spouse.
      No offense mate but you sound like a bit of a wet blanket to me.
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    • Profile picture of the author bravo75
      Originally Posted by Justin Lewis View Post

      I have saved myself until the age of 25.
      It was this part that got me. No doubt you're a nice guy. It's just that I've never heard a bloke say that. Some women will probably love you for it. Most guys will think you're a wet blanket.
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      • Profile picture of the author Justin Says
        Originally Posted by bravo75 View Post

        It was this part that got me. No doubt you're a nice guy. It's just that I've never heard a bloke say that. Some women will probably love you for it. Most guys will think you're a wet blanket.
        That just makes no sense..

        I'm saving my future until I'm 25 because I want to stay focused on what I'm currently doing in life.

        If I had a child before I got to a certain point, I might not be adequate enough to raise the kid.

        Just because I want to be REAL and not subject myself to society doesn't mean that you should go around bashing.

        I get you want to give your 2 cents and I'm open to that. But in the end, to each their own. I just wanted to share my life and my thoughts on what's going on in my life

        Negativity isn't even relative to what I'm expressing.

        Anyways, thanks for your feedback.
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        • Profile picture of the author ThomM
          I wish I could see what it's like to have a child, to settle down, to relax.
          Relaxing is what you do before you have a child, just so you know
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          • Profile picture of the author Justin Says
            Originally Posted by ThomM View Post

            Relaxing is what you do before you have a child, just so you know
            HA! You're right.

            I guess I have a different mindset on the matter now that I'm doing what I'm doing.

            But that's why I don't try to plan things out.

            What happens, happens. People change. Life changes. The world changes. And progression is constant.
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          • Profile picture of the author Roaddog
            Originally Posted by ThomM View Post

            Relaxing is what you do before you have a child, just so you know

            LOL...ain't that the freagin' truth..
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          • Profile picture of the author armedgrace
            Originally Posted by ThomM View Post

            Relaxing is what you do before you have a child, just so you know
            now this one right here mates, is by far the most sensible post that I have seen in this thread so far. just a piece of my thought.
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  • Profile picture of the author Justin Says
    @Bravo75, How can you call me negative? If anything I'm being positive

    By calling someone that, you are bringing negativity into the circle. And in turn, you're being hypocritical.
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Justin - if everyone put the time and effort in to thinking out having kids as carefully as you are, there would be no need of big brothers. There would be no life-threatening population explosion. There wouldn't be teens on the street looking for ways to hurt people instead of being helpful in building sustainable communities.

    I support people in their wishes to have kids - but only when they use their heads to go about it instead of just relying on hormones. And I support people only having one or two at at the max. If someone needs more than replacement levels of kids, it's time to start adopting one or two of the millions already here that so urgently need homes and someone to care about what happens to them.

    For 22, you have an excellent head on your shoulders. It can only be hoped that others your age and younger follow suit so we can clean up the mess made by those who didn't give a rip.
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  • Profile picture of the author bhoduarts
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    • Profile picture of the author bravo75
      Originally Posted by bhoduarts View Post

      Nice thoughts Justin..
      I wish i could be you coz i am 25 and even though trying so hard i am still not in the position to take all those responsibilities.

      And HeySal i totally agree with you. I believe unless until we are not able to handle the situation we should not move ahead after all in this stage not only me but other two lives also get involved.

      BHODUARTS
      Hey bhoduarts,
      I just clicked your sig link to check out your web design site and got 2 avast virus alerts. I thought I would make you aware of this.
      I've also PM'ed you.
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  • Profile picture of the author rondo
    See the world before you settle down.


    Andrew
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  • Profile picture of the author Justin Says
    You are all so kind. Thanks for the kudos.

    I know I'm not ready right now. But when the time comes, I definitely will be.

    I want my children to learn what's right and what's wrong and I want to set a good example for their futures. More than that, I don't want to give them "everything" they want. I want them to learn the same way I did.

    If you want to succeed, it takes hard work and dedication. Those that succeed without it, sometimes don't realize how quickly they could fall.

    I want my children to learn how to fall and pick themselves back up.

    Now isn't my time.. but there will be a time where I will put my all into being a dad
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  • Profile picture of the author Sheryl Polomka
    Justin I admire the way you think and plan your future. And I agree with HeySal that it would be nice if everyone had such a good mindset and planned their future instead of so many teenage pregnancies and unwanted pregnancies that happen.

    25 to 27 would be a great age for it, but unfortunately sometimes the timing of these things can be beyond our control. Take each day as it comes and when you meet Miss Right you'll know and things will progress in their own time from there.

    Good luck!
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    • Profile picture of the author Justin Says
      Originally Posted by Sheryl Polomka View Post

      Justin I admire the way you think and plan your future. And I agree with HeySal that it would be nice if everyone had such a good mindset and planned their future instead of so many teenage pregnancies and unwanted pregnancies that happen.

      25 to 27 would be a great age for it, but unfortunately sometimes the timing of these things can be beyond our control. Take each day as it comes and when you meet Miss Right you'll know and things will progress in their own time from there.

      Good luck!
      I absolutely agree.

      That's why I don't plan anything.

      I may meet this mystery woman tomorrow, or in 5 years, or in 10 years. Things happen, life changes, events take place.

      My mom was around 35 when she had me and I love her no matter what. It's just hard because sometimes I'm scared for her health and want her to always be there.


      Children are a lot of work and cost a lot of money. Over 18 years, they cost about as much as a modest house does.
      @Michael, ha love your responses bro.

      When I was growing up, we didn't have any money at all really. I understand that many people even believe a child could cost $1,000,000+ but even a parent making $40,000/yr doesn't make more than $700,000/18yrs after deductions.

      I'm not disagreeing. I'm just saying the way I was raised, we were cheap. My mom didn't make that much money (under $20,000) and she still fed me, kept me healthy, and tried her best. She may not have been around that much (she worked a lot) but in the end I'm here today
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  • Profile picture of the author Sheryl Polomka
    PS. I have three kids here that you can borrow for a while, just so you can see what it feels like
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Ten
    Children are a lot of work and cost a lot of money. Over 18 years, they cost about as much as a modest house does.
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  • Profile picture of the author kimfal
    You do have the right mind frame so I say, just keep going, do what you are doing and you will find the right woman to settle down with
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    • Profile picture of the author Justin Says
      Originally Posted by kimfal View Post

      You do have the right mind frame so I say, just keep going, do what you are doing and you will find the right woman to settle down with
      Thanks Kim.

      I see that was your first post, so I'm honored to have you post on my thread as your first post on the Warrior Forum

      Remember to never give up on your dreams. Anything and everything is possible. It just takes action.
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  • Profile picture of the author Matt Ward
    Who needs a kid? I guess maybe if this was the 1900's and you needed more free farm labour or something. :p
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    "Keep moving forward."
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  • Profile picture of the author Patrician
    Wow, Justin. Your mom must be very proud of you.

    In fact we need to clone you quick and maybe you all can turn the world around.

    So many of us didn't have father's in the picture and then had to raise our kids without them as well. Some didn't have either - they have nobody.

    Not sure where I saw a story about the majority of people in prison were fatherless. I can see why because especially for boys, while mom's can do primary stuff (food and shelter) they really need a man around. (both the kid and the mom) to have a real 'family unit'.

    Girls really do too and also read where fatherless girls are more likely to be divorced, be promiscuous etc - they don't know how to act around men, and are really looking for that relationship with their father when they get involved with men that can't love them time after time until they figure it out if they ever do.

    Another option you seem like you will be big enough to consider is like a group home parent - where you might have 5 or 6 boys that are from 'troubled' families. You would have them 24/7 to create a nurturing environment.

    Anyway, God bless you and keep you on your positive path of wisdom...

    Thanks for being you.

    p.s. I hope you wait to have your own kid until AT LEAST 25 - your life will not be your own really when you have your kid(s). It may seem fine looking at it from the 'outside' but is very different at 3am with screaming etc. lol.
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  • Profile picture of the author John Durham
    Justin, from what I know of you.... you may not need a kid, but alot of kids need a guy like you.

    BTW: Goat Milk can be gotten at Krogers, even cheese... so I agree. I mean why buy a goat when you can get the milk for $2.99?
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    • Profile picture of the author Justin Says
      Originally Posted by John Durham View Post

      Justin, from what I know of you.... you may not need a kid, but alot of kids need a guy like you.

      BTW: Goat Milk can be gotten at Krogers, even cheese... so I agree. I mean why buy a goat when you can get the milk for $2.99?
      Thank you John

      That's why I want to be a role-model and big brother to the kids in my community.
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      • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
        From what I know about you, you’d be an awesome Dad.
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        • Profile picture of the author Justin Says
          Originally Posted by Jonathan 2.0 View Post

          From what I know about you, you'd be an awesome Dad.
          Thanks a lot Jonathan, that means a lot, seriously

          I look forward to being one down the road. But I'll give it some time so that I can grow.
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  • Profile picture of the author cybartshop
    Since I was 18 I decide to make own family because my relationship with my true family doesnt too good, I create not by finding kid but I finding best friend, now I have new family called fellowship.
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  • Profile picture of the author Josh Lobley
    I'm 25 this weekend and I'm not ready yet. Like you, I want to be set up in the mind, body and soul (and pocketwise) to allow me provide for the kids best as possible.
    Hopefully my band will take off soon!
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  • Profile picture of the author Justin Says
    @Josh, hey since you have a band, you should consider creating websites, a facebook page, youtube channel, autoresponder, meetup (for events), forum, and a couple of other things I know they will definitely help because I organize a large motorcycle community and we help bands out.

    And yea, it's not so much age, it's about being 100% ready.
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    • Profile picture of the author Josh Lobley
      Originally Posted by Justin Lewis View Post

      @Josh, hey since you have a band, you should consider creating websites, a facebook page, youtube channel, autoresponder, meetup (for events), forum, and a couple of other things I know they will definitely help because I organize a large motorcycle community and we help bands out.

      And yea, it's not so much age, it's about being 100% ready.
      Sorry for late reply Justin. So far got the YT, FB. Haven't built the website yet but will soon which will have the autoresponder and forum.
      Will add you FB mate.
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      • Profile picture of the author Justin Says
        Originally Posted by Josh Lobley View Post

        Sorry for late reply Justin. So far got the YT, FB. Haven't built the website yet but will soon which will have the autoresponder and forum.
        Will add you FB mate.
        Keep up the good work man

        A website is vital in todays age.

        But as long as you start somewhere, you're headed in the right direction
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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    Originally Posted by Justin Lewis View Post

    <snip>

    But sometimes.. it's not enough. However bad that may sound, I wish I could see what it's like to have a child, to settle down, to relax.<snip>
    My toddler is a great joy in way more ways than I imagined. That said, he doesn't ever doesn't let me "relax". It's like a having a pet raccoon. He climbs onto things or into things that I didn't know could be climbed or entered. I'm always scrambling around to stop him from trying to do an acrobat stunt on his dino-cart, pull him out of a cupboard, get him off the windowsill or bookshelf.
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  • Profile picture of the author cvcena2
    www(dot)childrental(dot)com is still available...
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  • Profile picture of the author armedgrace
    As for you my fellow warrior justin, I feel for you, mate. May I suggest that ye run a rig and dance them hempen jig on yer Jolly roger's place and blow them man down and give no quarters, eh?

    Savvy?
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  • Profile picture of the author kiddoman
    I am about your age. Sometimes I even get the same feeling like yours.
    But I know clearly that kid is never an easy piece of cake for young people. The focus on real life has always overwhelmed the feeling to get a baby soon. Life is still hard. I still need keep going on.
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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    OK, this question has been kind of nagging at me. What does "need" a kid mean?
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  • Profile picture of the author Sornie Samante
    I'm 21 and whenever I saw kids, I always have the feeling that I want to have one or at least adopt a kid. LOL.

    Maybe it's a stage where you think you're ready to have kids..

    xD
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  • Profile picture of the author JeremiahSay
    Originally Posted by Justin Lewis View Post

    I'm 22 years old.

    I have so much going for me with everything that I'm doing in life.

    But sometimes it's not enough...

    I never really had a close relationship with my family.

    So I want to create a family..

    I'm not going to anytime soon, but I wanted to share it.

    My life is going in a direction where I'm going to be able to help out thousands of people, I own business's, starting up more business's, finding talented people and helping them express it.

    But sometimes.. it's not enough. However bad that may sound, I wish I could see what it's like to have a child, to settle down, to relax.

    I'm only 22, but I have so much to be thankful for in my life.

    Again, I'm not going to have a kid anytime soon. Nor do I plan on starting a family yet, but I just wanted to share my thoughts with a selective group that might have the same mindset.

    Thank you Warriors for listening.
    Me too, I'm 22 this year and love helping people..

    I always dreamed of helping people and make their life better, preach the gospel to them etc..

    In order for me to help others, I think I have to help myself first - if I cannot help myself.. then how can I help others? (make sense?)

    Well, on the side line right now I'm only helping others part time.. once I have more experience, knowledge etc.. I'll go into full time soon..

    btw I love kids too!!!

    God bless you,
    Jeremiah
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    • Profile picture of the author Justin Says
      Originally Posted by JeremiahSay View Post

      Me too, I'm 22 this year and love helping people..

      I always dreamed of helping people and make their life better, preach the gospel to them etc..

      In order for me to help others, I think I have to help myself first - if I cannot help myself.. then how can I help others? (make sense?)

      Well, on the side line right now I'm only helping others part time.. once I have more experience, knowledge etc.. I'll go into full time soon..

      btw I love kids too!!!

      God bless you,
      Jeremiah

      Keep up the great work.

      I just wanted to pop in and say that we have the same first name

      My first name is Jeremiah, however I usually go by Justin.
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