Who Is Horace Bartholomew Schmidt?

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According to handwritten notes in his mother's journal, great Internet marketer Horace Bartholomew Schmidt was born somewhere between Isbijab and the furthermost regions of Farganah. What his parents were doing there remains unknown. Likewise, no one is certain if he was born in Russia or China. He presently lives under a pseudonym in Alabama and is known to frequent online forums.
#off topic forum
  • That's amazing. I heard his favorite color is plaid.
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    • Well, that would explain his plaid suits. But having his female assistants wearing plaid from head to toe seems a bit much, never mind the horse being similarly decked out.
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  • Maybe this explains the strange little man across the street...
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    • I thought he was talking about you, Dave! 'Dave Patterson' is just your stage name -

      Whomever this Schmidt is...a nom de plume is certainly in order -
      He'll never sell books with that moniker...

      btw: can you legally get your name changed to 'Pseudonym' ?

      At least it's not Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern -schplenden -schlitter -crasscrenbon -fried -digger -dangle -dungle -burstein -von -knacker -thrasher -apple -banger -horowitz -ticolensic -grander -knotty -spelltinkle -grandlich -grumblemeyer -spelterwasser -kürstlich -himbleeisen -bahnwagen -gutenabend -bitte -eine -nürnburger -bratwustle -gerspurten -mit -zweimache -luber -hundsfut -gumberaber -shönendanker -kalbsfleisch -mittler -raucher von Hautkopft of Ulm...:rolleyes:
      Monty Python - Johann Gambolputty - YouTube
  • Isn't he John Jacob Jinglheimer Schmidt's brother?
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    • Yes, however much Eunice Schnitzelburg-O'Connor Schmidt may deny it. She still gets in a rage over the unfortunate events that transpired at the Shoal Creek Golf and Country Club.
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  • Horace Bartholomew Schmidt sighting. His assistants in the foreground, he is the male figure on the far left in the background.

  • This is a funny thread, is he really a real person or am I just opening up myself for abuse haha
    • [1] reply
    • He's real, but we're going to abuse you anyway, just for asking.
  • Horace Bartholomew Schmidt is an alias Alan Smithee uses when even he does not want to be recognized...
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    Who Is Horace Bartholomew Schmidt?

    According to handwritten notes in his mother's journal, great Internet marketer Horace Bartholomew Schmidt was born somewhere between Isbijab and the furthermost regions of Farganah. What his parents were doing there remains unknown. Likewise, no one is certain if he was born in Russia or China. He presently lives under a pseudonym in Alabama and is known to frequent online forums.