How do you feel about parents spanking their kids?

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My oldest son's regular school principal took maternity leave and her replacement held a parent's meeting.

There was the usual "I'm your friend, we need parents, my door is always open" rhetoric but then he slipped in. Parents who spank their kids are backwards, under educated and should work toward finding new non-violent solutions. I tried to listen with an open mind because there is a difference between discipline and abuse. But his stance was that striking in any form is abuse and he kept going to the point of insulting.

Tuition is hefty and the parents were P O'd so I doubt he'll be there long but I did wonder how other people felt about it.

Personally, I've swatted a few bottoms and tapped the backs of hands. I don't need to do it much anymore because the possibility of "getting it" is still enough to deter my boys from taking it too far. Plus now that they're a little older no PS3, bike etc. is more effective.

What do you think? Is a swat here and there OK or is all abuse to you?
  • Profile picture of the author ThomM
    I think that guy's an idiot
    But I also think it depends on the child and the adult.
    I raised 4 girls and only spanked one of them.
    I had a couple of rules, the first being that I would never, ever spank her when I was angry. The second was that it was to be used as an accessory to her actual punishment.
    The first rule I believe is mandatory for any parent.
    The second was based on my step-daughter and what worked with her.

    Now when I was a kid getting a spanking was the punishment, and it was administered by my mother with a ft. long wooden hairbrush. Oh ya and it worked
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  • Profile picture of the author Dave Patterson
    Originally Posted by Halcyon View Post

    My oldest son's regular school principal took maternity leave and her replacement held a parent's meeting.

    There was the usual "I'm your friend, we need parents, my door is always open" rhetoric but then he slipped in. Parents who spank their kids are backwards, under educated and should work toward finding new non-violent solutions. I tried to listen with an open mind because there is a difference between discipline and abuse. But his stance was that striking in any form is abuse and he kept going to the point of insulting.

    Tuition is hefty and the parents were P O'd so I doubt he'll be there long but I did wonder how other people felt about it.

    Personally, I've swatted a few bottoms and tapped the backs of hands. I don't need to do it much anymore because the possibility of "getting it" is still enough to deter my boys from taking it too far. Plus now that they're a little older no PS3, bike etc. is more effective.

    What do you think? Is a swat here and there OK or is all abuse to you?
    Once in a while a swat on the bottom becomes...necessary.
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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      Let me put it this way Halcyon.

      A few years back when I was doing some shopping in a drugstore, I overheard two boys who were in the candy isle, the next isle over from me.

      One boy said to his buddy, lets steal some candy.

      The other boy said, Heck no! If we get caught, I'll get a whippin'!

      The first boy said, Really? I'll just get a talkin' to and get sent to my room for a time out, I'm doin' it!

      I think that speaks volumes!

      I agree, there is an enormous difference between a whipping and being beaten!

      And as Thom states, it must never be done in anger.

      I remember when hubby would send one of our kids to their room and tell them to bend over their beds to wait for him.

      He did that because he needed time to cool down and rein in his anger.

      Sometimes those poor kids had to wait a good twenty minutes to a half hour and by that time, he just talked to them figuring the agonizing waiting for a swat while bent over their beds was punishment enough, lol!

      Terra
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    • Profile picture of the author Dave Patterson
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      • Profile picture of the author Tina Golden
        I have a 8 month old granddaughter and her parents and I just had a discussion about spanking. My daughter's boyfriend had told her that he would spank if needed and my daughter pitched a fit.

        She thought that I would come down on her side of things and said no one was going to hit 'her' daughter. First I explained that it wasn't 'her' daughter but 'their' daughter so they had to come to a compromise. She didn't like that much.

        She said, "But, Mom, you didn't spank me and I turned out fine". I almost choked on the coffee I was drinking! She was the child who needed the most discipline when she was little as she was headstrong, impulsive and stubborn!

        I told her she got plenty of spankings when she wasn't old enough to have other consequences yet, as time-outs and standing in the corner never worked with her. She was completely stunned and said she doesn't remember EVER getting a spanking.

        Tell me again how spanking scars a child for life?

        There is a vast difference between a swat or two on the butt and a beating. Just because the current pop psychology tells us different doesn't mean anything other than giving us a good reason why we have a generation or two of predominantly lazy, entitled brats on our hands.
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        • Profile picture of the author Joseph Robinson
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          Originally Posted by Tina Golden View Post


          Tell me again how spanking scars a child for life?

          There is a vast difference between a swat or two on the butt and a beating. Just because the current pop psychology tells us different doesn't mean anything other than giving us a good reason why we have a generation or two of predominantly lazy, entitled brats on our hands.
          This. Spanking does not scar a child at all. Hell, you don't even need to spank every time, just barely enough so that the threat of a swat is enough to deter your child (as in Miss TerraK's situation).

          I get where the outrage over the subject comes from though. As kids, my siblings and I suffered a lot of abuse. A few of them ended up pretty messed up from it. But abuse and spankings are two very different things.
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    • Profile picture of the author Halcyon
      Here we go again? Please explain because I think I'm offended.

      MMM... are you accusing me of not using the search function? I wasn't seeking advice, I'm seeking opinions and a 2 1/2 year old post may or may not reflect current public opinion.

      So um...
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      • Profile picture of the author jimbo13
        Don't know about parents but at school we used to be caned.

        It was only the teachers who were allowed to do this though.

        I think it was fine system. You knew what was what.

        Dan
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        • Profile picture of the author ThomM
          Originally Posted by jimbo13 View Post

          Don't know about parents but at school we used to be caned.

          It was only the teachers who were allowed to do this though.

          I think it was fine system. You knew what was what.

          Dan
          Here from what I've been told the nuns in catholic school where pretty good at handing out beatings.
          I went to a public school starting in the 50's.
          The only teacher who beat me was in first grade. She whacked my knuckles with a wooden ruler, once. That was all that was needed.
          But if I did happen to get in trouble and the school called home or sent home a bad report, my mother made sure they knew that they had her permission to whoop me
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        • Profile picture of the author Karen Blundell
          listen, I think this whole thing has gone too far. It's become so bad that parents have no rights anymore.

          I know what abuse is, I went through it. A spanking on the bum when a kid is having a temper tantrum...ah, that's not abuse, trust me on that one.

          However, I very rarely had to resort to anything physical beyond hitting the table with a wooden spoon, because the sound of the wood hitting the table combined with the look on my face, was enough to let my son know I meant business.

          I remember going to my bedroom and closing the door, and counting to 30 when my son was in the terrible 2 stage and screaming in a temper tantrum, because I never wanted to deal with him when I was upset.

          Halcyon, I think that principal is typical of the judgmental public servants who have turned parents into the enemies, and who are part of the problem of youth today, the same youth who are never accountable for anything they do wrong, and who feel they are entitled to a life paved in gold.
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      • Profile picture of the author tryinhere
        Originally Posted by Halcyon View Post

        Here we go again? Please explain because I think I'm offended.

        MMM... are you accusing me of not using the search function? I wasn't seeking advice, I'm seeking opinions and a 2 1/2 year old post may or may not reflect current public opinion.

        So um...
        Offended, what ? ? accusing you of not using search ? what ? your reading so many mixed messages into something that is not there.

        What I am referring to is this whole debate is a dead and dying one, it is not OK to hit, tap, beat, physically or verbally any child, but they are my personal views and I do not push them onto anyone.

        What is also very clear is that different cultures / locations see this topic very different and that many parts of the states are way behind the rest of the world in opinion.

        Here in Australia now it is a very bad thing to hit, tap, beat children now, it is pretty well outlawed and banned and seen a very taboo to even go down that road, laws and opinions now are very firm on this subject.

        But it does seem like the old sitcom, that sixties show and some places have a long way to go to catch up with the way things are done.

        Rest assured sooner or later no matter where you are laws and feelings will change and it will be seen as draconian thinking to beat , smack or what ever kids, I hope the rest of the world catches up sooner or later for the betterment of all kids.
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        • Profile picture of the author Dave Patterson
          Originally Posted by tryinhere View Post

          Offended, what ? ? accusing you of not using search ? what ? your reading so many mixed messages into something that is not there.

          What I am referring to is this whole debate is a dead and dying one, it is not OK to hit tap beat, physically or verbally any child, but they are my personal views and I do not push them onto anyone.

          What is also very clear is that different cultures / locations see this topic very different and that many parts of the states are way behind the rest of the world in opinion.

          Here in Australia now it is a very bad thing to beat children now, it is pretty well outlawed and banned and seen a very taboo to even go down that road, laws and opinions now are very firm on this subject.

          But it does seem like the old sitcom, that sixties show and some places have a long way to go to catch up with the way things are done.

          Rest assured sooner or later no matter where you are laws and feelings will change and it will be seen as draconian thinking to beat , smack or what ever kids, I hope the rest of the world catches up sooner or later for the betterment of all kids.
          Ummmm....we're not taking about BEATING kids here...:rolleyes:
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          • Profile picture of the author tryinhere
            Originally Posted by Dave Patterson View Post

            Ummmm....we're not taking about BEATING kids here...:rolleyes:
            Sure Dave, I understand, so let me clear, first i am sure the judge was just telling his little girl off and not giving her a beating, but move on from that.

            The laws are here now you can not tap, smack or even hit a child in anyway - also verbal abuse is very close to heart, it is totally against all laws to even tap in any way - so regardless of if its a smack or a beating it is not allowed.

            To a child even raising a hand in anger can scare the **** out of them, there is absolutely zero tolerances to any form of hitting under any name allowed here now.

            And whether people like it or not it is coming to a town near you and I hope sooner rather than later, the whole argument of a smack is good is a dead and dying one that is still being held onto in some parts of the world.

            It will change all be it slow but eventually it will be law everywhere in a civilized world.

            argument over really.
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            • Profile picture of the author Dave Patterson
              Originally Posted by tryinhere View Post

              Sure Dave, I understand, so let me clear, first i am sure the judge was just telling his little girl off and not giving her a beating, but move on from that.

              The laws are here now you can not tap, smack or even hit a child in anyway - also verbal abuse is very close to heart, it is totally against all laws to even tap in any way - so regardless of if its a smack or a beating it is not allowed.

              To a child even raising a hand in anger can scare the **** out of them, there is absolutely zero tolerances to any form of hitting under any name allowed here now.

              And whether people like it or not it is coming to a town near you and I hope sooner rather than later, the whole argument of a smack is good is a dead and dying one that is still being held onto in some parts of the world.

              It will change all be it slow but eventually it will be law everywhere in a civilized world.

              argument over really.
              Maybe you haven't heard. The Dr Spock method has FAILED MISERABLY here.
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              • Profile picture of the author tryinhere
                Originally Posted by Dave Patterson View Post

                Maybe you haven't heard. The Dr Spock method has FAILED MISERABLY here.
                well in your lifetime it will be banned.

                As for the debate it's never ending circle, one that will end but it will just take a little more time, Dr who will get out the tardis and bop Dr Spock of his perch and all should be good.
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            • Profile picture of the author Bekah Howard
              Originally Posted by tryinhere View Post

              Sure Dave, I understand, so let me clear, first i am sure the judge was just telling his little girl off and not giving her a beating, but move on from that.
              Ok, first of all, Most (if not all) people who are ok with spanking do not agree with the Judge in the video. Why? He was literally beating her out of anger. That is not spanking. However, she did need to be punished for what she was doing and a stern talking to would not have worked on me (a mostly well behaved child) at that age if I did not have the respect for my parents authority that was built when I was young.

              Originally Posted by tryinhere View Post

              And whether people like it or not it is coming to a town near you and I hope sooner rather than later, the whole argument of a smack is good is a dead and dying one that is still being held onto in some parts of the world.

              It will change all be it slow but eventually it will be law everywhere in a civilized world.
              I truly believe that this will be the downfall of respect towards authority if this ever happens.

              I was spanked when I needed it as a child. My parents would never do it out of anger and never excessively. I would have a discussion with them first about what I did wrong, why it was wrong, and why I still had to be punished. I can remember it happening as early as 5 years old (discussion and all), and I know it did happen before then.

              I never feared my parents or "hated" them (other than over the normal teenage annoyances such as why I couldn't stay out all night with friends) but instead respected their authority and learned that if I didn't like a rule, I needed to discuss it and try to get it changed rather than disobey it. I still have this opinion with authority in my life. There are laws I don't agree with, but I still respect them as the law. There are leaders I don't like, but I respect their authority in leadership.

              I have friends/family that were raised like this and others that were not. In general, those who were raised similarly to me are respectful members of society. Most of those who were raised without this discipline are the ones who are constantly getting in trouble (or breaking the rules and law and managing to get away with it).

              Obviously my limited experience isn't enough to "prove" it, but it definitely makes one wonder, doesn't it?
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              • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
                Originally Posted by Bekah Howard View Post

                <snip>
                I truly believe that this will be the downfall of respect towards authority if this ever happens. <snip>
                I don't think that respect is won through physical might. Respect for authority starts to erode when authority no longer deserves it.
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        • Profile picture of the author Mark Singletary
          Honest question that I don't know the answer to.

          In more "advanced" societies such as Australia how do you discipline your children for their "betterment" if they won't listen, they won't move, they won't go in the room, they won't be quiet, they won't _____ when you quietly and nicely try to get them to do something differently? Do you just let them do what they please?

          What do the police do with children under the age of 18 who don't behave in Australia? For example they rob, hit people, start fights, throw things, break windows, etc.? Do they ask them nicely and quietly to please, if it's convenient, to stop doing that right now or if now's not good then whenever you get a chance? Or do they COMMAND them to stop with the threat of physical force and if necessary put their face in the dirt?

          No one here, that I can see, is condoning using anything other than common sense to help their children to be better adults and to learn respect and responsibility. There are lots of situations in this old world of ours, no matter what country you live in, that the only way to get a message across is with some sort of physical response.

          Anyone that beats their children is wrong and should get everything they deserve (fill in the blank of what they deserve in your opinion).

          And just as importantly, anyone that doesn't teach their children respect and responsibility and help them to become better and more productive parts of society is almost just as wrong. And sometimes that teaching may include some sort of physical discipline if and when all else fails.

          It is much easier to overcome a smack than it is years of neglect and lack of parenting. I think one of the reasons we, as a human race, are heading the wrong direction is because we haven't learned responsibility and respect and doing our part. A lot of that comes from the entitlement mentality and trying to protect everyone from everything including life.

          My 2 cents.
          Mark

          Originally Posted by tryinhere View Post

          What I am referring to is this whole debate is a dead and dying one, it is not OK to hit, tap, beat, physically or verbally any child, but they are my personal views and I do not push them onto anyone.

          What is also very clear is that different cultures / locations see this topic very different and that many parts of the states are way behind the rest of the world in opinion.

          Here in Australia now it is a very bad thing to hit, tap, beat children now, it is pretty well outlawed and banned and seen a very taboo to even go down that road, laws and opinions now are very firm on this subject.

          But it does seem like the old sitcom, that sixties show and some places have a long way to go to catch up with the way things are done.

          Rest assured sooner or later no matter where you are laws and feelings will change and it will be seen as draconian thinking to beat , smack or what ever kids, I hope the rest of the world catches up sooner or later for the betterment of all kids.
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          • Profile picture of the author tryinhere
            Originally Posted by Mark Singletary View Post

            It is much easier to overcome a smack than it is years of neglect and lack of parenting. I think one of the reasons we, as a human race, are heading the wrong direction is because we haven't learned responsibility and respect and doing our part. A lot of that comes from the entitlement mentality and trying to protect everyone from everything including life.

            My 2 cents.
            Mark
            Very easy for every one to read into something, I was not making a personal opinion or view but rather stating the law of the land as put in place by the people of the day based on a lot of solid evidence and where does there anywhere say a lack of parenting ? / neglect. the whole reply was a beat up and not really worth arguing about, of course people who break rules are dealt with, nothings perfect anywhere, but that response played like a 7 pm soap opera and so far from reality.

            I can say there is one golden rule and that's never to tell a parent how to look after their children they are all right no matter what, even the judge was right.

            + 1 more, like it or not in your lifetime you will see the swing or change, its happened here and it will follow and grow global.
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  • Profile picture of the author TLTheLiberator
    I never had to spank my daughter.

    Now she's too old and big for a spanking.

    Reason is always better than force but force seemed to do a good job with me when I was growing up.

    I wasn't abused but I had my share.


    TL
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  • Profile picture of the author mojojuju
    I spank my kids only as a last resort, only after a time-out and being sent to their room doesn't set them straight. My brother in law spanks his kids much more than I do and his kids seem to be all right.

    As mentioned, I'll agree that spanking shouldn't be done in anger, then it becomes a means to vent.

    I think it's up to each parent to decide if and when to spank their kids. There may not be one solution for every family. Most people of generations older than mine had their asses whooped when they did wrong as children, and I don't see that it resulted in them being maladjusted or whatever the anti-spanking advocates seem to think will happen to kids who are spanked.
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  • Profile picture of the author waterotter
    I often thought the embarrassment associated with getting a spanking served as a deterrent, providing you understood what a spanking was.
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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      I was quite the little sassy one and stubborn to boot!

      My family's nickname for me was Little Miss Priss.

      Anyway, I got a few swats myself.

      What I remember most was the day my parents brought home a wooden paddle with a picture of a bear and a deer on it. It said, For The Little Deer With The Bear Behind.

      They thought it was so cute and funny and it ticked me off so I was on my best behavior just so they would never be able to use it on me.

      There's that stubborn part, lol!

      Anyway, so that paddle worked in keeping me towing the line, however in a different perspective than what my parents intended. I never gave them the chance to use it on me!

      Terra
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      • Profile picture of the author ThomM
        However, I very rarely had to resort to anything physical beyond hitting the table with a wooden spoon, because the sound of the wood hitting the table combined with the look on my face, was enough to let my son know I meant business.
        That worked with my two older step-daughters and my daughter.
        My youngest was a different story. Up till she was around 10 everything she did she was so focused on it that you could drop a bomb in back of her and she wouldn't notice it.
        Only thing that worked to get her attention was a couple whacks on the butt.
        Only once did I spank her hard enough to actually sting, and 10 minutes later her mother, me and her where laughing at her response.
        What she did was run in to our bedroom and grabbed her mothers silk night gown. Then she ran into her room, took off her pants and sat on the night gown. When her mother and I walked in she just looked at us and said "Silky's feel good". Then all three of us cracked up.
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      • Profile picture of the author Joe Mobley
        I'm overcome with NOT-surprise. :rolleyes:

        Joe Mobley



        Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post


        My family's nickname for me was Little Miss Priss.

        Terra
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        • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
          Originally Posted by Joe Mobley View Post

          I'm overcome with NOT-surprise. :rolleyes:

          Joe Mobley
          Ummm Joe,

          The operative word in that phrase is was! :rolleyes: :p

          Terra
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  • Profile picture of the author salegurus
    Three brothers, i was the oldest and probably naughtiest.
    I probably got a spanking from my Mom every other day.
    Did i deserve it heck yes, did it scar me emotionally for life heck no,
    i think i turned out OK

    Unfortunately my son is just like me when i was his age, naughty as
    hell (My deer departed Mother wished it on me).
    We did not have time outs in my day and a talking too did not work either,
    so a good spanking worked for us (Just for a while, then i was up to my old tricks).

    This is a controversial topic though, i'm sure there will be lots of opinions...
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  • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
    It seems the consensus here is that an occasional spanking is OK, and I'm on board with that as long as it isn't excessive in force or duration. I don't think anyone else has a right to spank kids but the parents though.

    Those who say parents should never spank often have never raised any children, or they have children who are always getting in trouble.

    As for the judge in that video -- I'd like to have 5 minutes alone with him in a dark alley.
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  • Profile picture of the author KimW
    I raised 3 daughters by myself for a while.
    I am usually fairly soft spoken most of the time.
    Usually all it took was for my voice to rise for them to know they needed to change their behavior. And I don't mean rise to a scream,but rise enough so they knew I was paying attention and didn't like what they were doing.

    In all those years I only had to spank one of them one time.

    As far as is it ok, definitely,because as many of the intelligent people here have already stated,there isn't a fine line between spanking and abuse,there is a big gap.

    I wish I had been as lucky as my girls because I was on the receiving end many a times growing up,but I wasn't abused. I was just a slow learner.
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  • Profile picture of the author Halcyon
    I don't think it scars you but you learn.

    I remember only 3 butt whippings.

    1. I crossed the street alone when I was 4. My mom became scarier than any old car.

    2. I tried to make my own flambe when I was 7-8 after watching Julia Child. Much later on my dad admitted that it was pretty good but I still wasn't supposed to use a blow torch with his Johnnie Walker Red.

    3. About 9 I decided to grab my dad's power drill to put "additions" on my Barbie van. The drill was a bit too powerful and well... I'll just say there's a reason why 9 year olds shouldn't play with drills.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mark Singletary
    When I was in 3rd grade, I was paddled in public school for laughing during the daily saying of the Lord's Prayer.

    How would that go over today with the PC crowd I sometimes wonder?

    Mark
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    • Profile picture of the author Dave Patterson
      Originally Posted by Mark Singletary View Post

      When I was in 3rd grade, I was paddled in public school for laughing during the daily saying of the Lord's Prayer.

      How would that go over today with the PC crowd I sometimes wonder?

      Mark
      They would most likely go into convulsions...
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    • Profile picture of the author waterotter
      Originally Posted by Mark Singletary View Post

      When I was in 3rd grade, I was paddled in public school for laughing during the daily saying of the Lord's Prayer.

      How would that go over today with the PC crowd I sometimes wonder?

      Mark
      They don't allow the Lord's Prayer in schools here anymore.
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      • Profile picture of the author Dave Patterson
        Originally Posted by waterotter View Post

        They don't allow the Lord's Prayer in schools here anymore.
        No paddling either.
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    • Profile picture of the author KimW
      Originally Posted by Mark Singletary View Post

      When I was in 3rd grade, I was paddled in public school for laughing during the daily saying of the Lord's Prayer.

      How would that go over today with the PC crowd I sometimes wonder?

      Mark
      When I was in junior high I got beat,and in this case I mean that actual word.
      They still used "paddles" back then made of wood so it was really called "the board of education". I can't swear to it but I think the vice principal,he was the one that administered them,was only allowed to give someone 3 whacks. But he put his all in tham and I really believe he enjoyed doing it.
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      • Profile picture of the author Dave Patterson
        Originally Posted by KimW View Post

        When I was in junior high I got beat,and in this case I mean that actual word.
        They still used "paddles" back then made of wood so it was really called "the board of education". I can't swear to it but I think the vice principal,he was the one that administered them,was only allowed to give someone 3 whacks. But he put his all in tham and I really believe he enjoyed doing it.
        We had a coach/algebra teacher like that. Drilled holes in his so their wasn't any air "cushion"....
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        • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
          Originally Posted by Dave Patterson View Post

          We had a coach/algebra teacher like that. Drilled holes in his so their wasn't any air "cushion"....
          Our shop teacher did that.
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        • Profile picture of the author KimW
          Originally Posted by Dave Patterson View Post

          We had a coach/algebra teacher like that. Drilled holes in his so their wasn't any air "cushion"....
          You are right Dave, there were holes in this one too.
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          • Profile picture of the author Steven Wagenheim
            My mom, God rest her soul, gave me a few swats on the backside in my day.

            I think I turned out okay.

            Of course I grew up in a different era. Today, you just look at your kid wrong
            and they're calling Dyfs on you.

            There is a big difference between a smack on the rear and abuse.

            And when I was a kid, believe me, I had 'em coming. LOL
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      • Profile picture of the author ThomM
        Originally Posted by KimW View Post

        When I was in junior high I got beat,and in this case I mean that actual word.
        They still used "paddles" back then made of wood so it was really called "the board of education". I can't swear to it but I think the vice principal,he was the one that administered them,was only allowed to give someone 3 whacks. But he put his all in tham and I really believe he enjoyed doing it.
        Thanks Kim you just reminded me of my old gym teacher.
        He used a ping pong paddle with holes in it.
        We had swimming once a week and the boys class swam naked.
        Guess when he doled out his punishments.
        I don't remember getting whacked, but I don't know if I never did or if I've just blocked out the memory
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    • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
      Originally Posted by Mark Singletary View Post

      When I was in 3rd grade, I was paddled in public school for laughing during the daily saying of the Lord's Prayer.

      How would that go over today with the PC crowd I sometimes wonder?

      Mark
      I'd bet money they'd be more upset about the prayer than the paddling.
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  • Profile picture of the author DEaFeYe
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    • Profile picture of the author Halcyon
      Originally Posted by DEaFeYe View Post

      Parents who spank their kids are ****ing pussies. Chain those punks up in the basement and withhold food
      This reminds me a joke I heard. Don't remember who said it.

      I went something like:

      I don't beat my kids I just dress them in Crocs and a Bieber t-shirt and let the other kids do it for me.
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      • Profile picture of the author Nickels
        Originally Posted by Halcyon View Post

        This reminds me a joke I heard. Don't remember who said it.

        I went something like:

        I don't beat my kids I just dress them in Crocs and a Bieber t-shirt and let the other kids do it for me.

        lol...that will work!
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      • Profile picture of the author Tina Golden
        'They' say that it isn't good for our kids to fear us or other authority figures so 'they' took away our rights to raise our children with a good healthy respect for parents, teachers and the law.

        Someone better start waking up to the fact that our children don't need more friends. They need the fear of God put back into'em.

        My son was taught in school that if I was to smack him or give him ANY consequences that he didn't think was fair, then he should call the 'state'.

        One day he was mouthing off to me and he called me a b*tch. I got up in his face and lifted my hand and he told me that if I hit him, he was going to call the 'state'.

        I handed him the phone and offered to dial it for him. Then I said, "Don't forget to tell them they'd better hurry".

        "Why do they need to hurry?"

        "Because I'm going to beat the living snot out of you until they get here, just so as you don't look like a liar."

        He decided that calling wasn't the best idea he'd ever had after all.
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        • Profile picture of the author Nickels
          Originally Posted by Tina Golden View Post

          'They' say that it isn't good for our kids to fear us or other authority figures so 'they' took away our rights to raise our children with a good healthy respect for parents, teachers and the law.

          Someone better start waking up to the fact that our children don't need more friends. They need the fear of God put back into'em.

          My son was taught in school that if I was to smack him or give him ANY consequences that he didn't think was fair, then he should call the 'state'.

          One day he was mouthing off to me and he called me a b*tch. I got up in his face and lifted my hand and he told me that if I hit him, he was going to call the 'state'.

          I handed him the phone and offered to dial it for him. Then I said, "Don't forget to tell them they'd better hurry".

          "Why do they need to hurry?"

          "Because I'm going to beat the living snot out of you until they get here, just so as you don't look like a liar."

          He decided that calling wasn't the best idea he'd ever had after all.

          exactly...im not saying beat your kids but they do need to understand that YOU are the parent. I believe that kids do need to have a certain fear of you - otherwise they will do what they want and not think twice about the consequence.
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    • Profile picture of the author Nickels
      Originally Posted by DEaFeYe View Post

      Parents who spank their kids are ****ing pussies. Chain those punks up in the basement and withhold food
      lol..i thought that was funny..

      but for my 2 cents. I think kids should get spankings/whoopings. You see how kids are today? They talk back and threaten the parents if they touch them! Wow..the parents are the ones getting hit by their kids these days and its sad!

      I grew up with 5 brothers and they got spankings all the time for being bad. I can only remember one time getting a spanking and im sure its because I was girl ... maybe i was spoilded..but i wasnt a bad child.

      I read one of the posts above about the kids that were planning on stealing and the one was scarred because he'd get a whooping but the ohter didnt care because he was just going to get a 'talking to'...thats true...and I think kids know this. They know their parents aren't going to do **** so they do what they want.
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    • Profile picture of the author Christopher Fox
      Originally Posted by DEaFeYe View Post

      Parents who spank their kids are ****ing pussies. Chain those punks up in the basement and withhold food
      Come here and let me bend you over my knee so I can tan yer hide. While your at it, shove this bar of soap in your mouth 'cause it's dirty.

      Exhibt A of what happens when parents do not instruct their children in discipline. Or maybe you are being a smartarse ... hard to tell.

      No kids, but count me in with the vast majority that received an occasional swat on the rear. And they were warranted. And no, I am not emotionally scarred, nor am I prone to beating old ladies and kicking puppy dogs because I was spanked.

      Kudos to you Halcyon for being irked by some pretentious knucklehead preaching to you about how you should raise your children and telling you that you are some type of child abuser for disciplining your children using a tried, true, tested and long standing method. A little swat on the rear when warranted is less about inflicting pain and more about gaining the attention of your child.

      What a lot of folks like this principal don't seem to get is what happens to undisciplined children when they eventually enter the throes of puberty later on in life. They turn into punks who think they can get away with whatever they want as there are no consequences to their actions.

      Not every child will require a spanking, but many benefit from it. I, for one, did.
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    When a kid is young the easiest way to teach them what "no" means is to slap their hand when they reach for something they shouldn't be and say "no" at the same time. They will either cry because they "get it" or they will do it again - and you slap them a little harder and say "no" a little stronger. Some will taunt you and sooner or later the slap will have to be hard enough to sting -- but that sticks pretty well. It's actually dangerous for a toddler not to learn the word "no".

    My parents smacked my but a few times when I was small, mostly over issues I would have gotten hurt - and twice for lying. Then when I was a teen I swore at my mom and got backhanded hard enough to put me against the fridge and on the floor - but you didn't tell adults to *f*** off" in the late 60's. That's a new disrespect that has crept in because we aren't allowed to stop it. Not doing the kids any good not learning it either.

    There was one woman that threatened to hit me with a belt when I was only 3 - I remembered that bitch my entire life. Met her again when I was 22. I put her against the wall and asked her if she wanted another shot at me with a belt. I can't imagine someone hitting a kid with a leather strap. Sorry - that I feel is abuse. I feel that so strongly I defended myself 19 years after someone even TRIED to pull that one off on me. I scared the crap out of her. Good - I'm glad. I might have saved a grand kid a really terrible whipping. Belts are not discipline tools.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mark Singletary
    The long term effect may be worse than we think. I remember seeing written in a bathroom stall these chilling words "my daddy beat me so I write bad checks".
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  • Profile picture of the author KimW
    I certainly can't agree with you Pete. Here in the states I think we are seeing proof that sparing the rod doesn't work.
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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      Originally Posted by KimW View Post

      I certainly can't agree with you Pete. Here in the states I think we are seeing proof that sparing the rod doesn't work.

      Exactly Kim!

      I can't help but think of the days when a trip to the woodshed was common practice. The children of that society were much better than the children of society we see now.

      I'm not saying society was perfect back then by any means, but you rarely heard of kids blowing their parents away or trying to poison teachers or kids coming into schools and shooting up the place and taking numerous lives in one pop like what is becoming all too commonplace in the news today.

      To say there is no connection is just ludicrous!

      Terra
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  • Profile picture of the author KimW
    And on the way to that woodshed you had to pick out your own switch...I hated that!
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    • Profile picture of the author Dave Patterson
      Originally Posted by KimW View Post

      And on the way to that woodshed you had to pick out your own switch...I hated that!
      THAT usually took me about 3 trips until I could find a "suitable" one...
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      • Profile picture of the author KimW
        Originally Posted by Dave Patterson View Post

        THAT usually took me about 3 trips until I could find a "suitable" one...
        Oh,I found a suitable one first try all the time.Problem was it was suitable for me and not the other person involed.
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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    Originally Posted by Halcyon View Post

    <snip>
    Tuition is hefty and the parents were P O'd so I doubt he'll be there long but I did wonder how other people felt about it.<snip>
    I only have one child and he is not even 2 yet. I couldn't imagine hitting him. He is already turning out to be a kid who can be reasoned with, so it seems the question would only be an academic exercise for me. ThomM pointed illustrated how every child is different and strategies that work for one child may not work for another -- I think that makes sense.
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    • Profile picture of the author KimW
      Oh T-Bird, They are called the terible twos for a reason.



      Originally Posted by thunderbird View Post

      I only have one child and he is not even 2 yet. I couldn't imagine hitting him. He is already turning out to be a kid who can be reasoned with, so it seems the question would only be an academic exercise for me. ThomM pointed illustrated how every child is different and strategies that work for one child may not work for another -- I think that makes sense.
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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      Originally Posted by thunderbird View Post

      I only have one child and he is not even 2 yet. I couldn't imagine hitting him. He is already turning out to be a kid who can be reasoned with, so it seems the question would only be an academic exercise for me. ThomM pointed illustrated how every child is different and strategies that work for one child may not work for another -- I think that makes sense.

      I completely understand where you are coming from. I felt the same when mine were that young.

      Let me just add two things.

      First of all, I could never imagine "hitting" my children either, however, I was fully prepared to give them a swat on the bottom or hand if needed.

      Also as Kim has mentioned, he hasn't reached his terrible two's yet or beyond.

      I certainly would like to hear from you in say a year or two.

      I do hope you have an exceptional little guy who never requires a swat of any kind because let me tell you, speaking from my experience, giving those swats actually is more painful for the parent than for the child.

      Terra
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      • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
        Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

        <snip>
        I do hope you have an exceptional little guy who never requires a swat of any kind because let me tell you, speaking from my experience, giving those swats actually is more painful for the parent than for the child.<snip>
        I don't know if he's exceptional. He's unschooled and rather coarse in his mannerisms, being only 23 months old, but he's enthusiastic, eg:

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        • Profile picture of the author KimW
          Originally Posted by thunderbird View Post

          I don't know if he's exceptional. He's unschooled and rather coarse in his mannerisms, being only 23 months old, but he's enthusiastic, eg:

          Baby Plays Toy Piano - YouTube

          Well, don't be offended but he is no Mozart,yet.
          But he looks like a fine normal little boy and you should be proud.
          Also, enjoy and cherish every minute you can with him,the time really does go by way too fast.
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          • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
            Originally Posted by KimW View Post

            Well, don't be offended but he is no Mozart,yet.
            But he looks like a fine normal little boy and you should be proud.
            Also, enjoy and cherish every minute you can with him,the time really does go by way too fast.
            And I'll just add that he's a little cutie, too!

            Terra
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            • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
              Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

              And I'll just add that he's a little cutie, too!

              Terra
              I don't know why it makes me so happy when someone says that about my baby, but it does
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              • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
                Originally Posted by thunderbird View Post

                I don't know why it makes me so happy when someone says that about my baby, but it does
                Well, I just stated the obvious.

                But I know the exact feeling you're talking about.

                Terra
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              • Profile picture of the author Halcyon
                Originally Posted by thunderbird View Post

                I don't know why it makes me so happy when someone says that about my baby, but it does
                You should be very proud, he is a cutie.
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          • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
            Originally Posted by KimW View Post

            Well, don't be offended but he is no Mozart,yet.
            But he looks like a fine normal little boy and you should be proud.
            Also, enjoy and cherish every minute you can with him,the time really does go by way too fast.
            He doesn't strike me as a Mozart at this stage in his life either. Sounds more like one of those "experimental" musicians, lol.

            It is pretty amazing how quickly kids grow up. Not long ago, my baby would just stare at blocks and maybe try to eat one. Now, he's utilizing every block to make little cities with little towers and buildings.
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    • Profile picture of the author Halcyon
      Originally Posted by thunderbird View Post

      I only have one child and he is not even 2 yet. I couldn't imagine hitting him. He is already turning out to be a kid who can be reasoned with, so it seems the question would only be an academic exercise for me. ThomM pointed illustrated how every child is different and strategies that work for one child may not work for another -- I think that makes sense.
      I too hope you have a two year old that can be reasoned with because that would be rare. This is not to say they don't exist, only not in my experience.
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  • Profile picture of the author KimW
    Why is it when I make typos I get quoted but if I get it right the first time no one ever quotes me??
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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      Look again, Kim!

      What typo?

      Terra
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  • Profile picture of the author KimW
    Ha ha,thanks Terra
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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      Originally Posted by KimW View Post

      Ha ha,thanks Terra

      Ah, don't mention it!

      Just a little help for my friend.

      Terra
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  • Profile picture of the author KimW
    As do I,and she is right,I meant to get that in my post too.
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