Joke

RETIREMENT BONUS

If this doesn't make you laugh, you are truly humour impaired!

The Royal Navy found they had too many officers and decided to
offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who
volunteered for Retirement a bonus of £1,000 for every inch
measured in a straight line between any Two points in his body..
The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the
top of His head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six
feet and walked out with a bonus of £72,000...
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to
be measured fromthe tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He
walked Out with £96,000.
>
> The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief
Stoker who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied,
'From the tip of my penis to my testicles.'

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to
reconsider, explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two
Officers had received. But old the Chief insisted and they decided
to go along with him providing the measure was taken by a Medical
Officer.
The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to drop 'em,'
which He did.

The Medical Officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the
Chief's penis and began to work back. Dear Lord!' he suddenly
exclaimed, 'Where Are your testicles?'

The Old Chief calmly replied, ' The Falkland Islands'.