Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.


Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.


Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.


Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.


Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.


War does not determine who is right - only who is left.


The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.