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Hello!

My daughter has this posted on her facebook wall. It's too hilarious to keep to my self:


YOU HAVE TWO COWS ....

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor

... COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income

ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds, dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
You still only have two cows.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.
  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Jeez, I wish I'd seen that before I wasted all that money on Poli Sci classes. It's all so simple.
    Signature

    Sal
    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
    Beyond the Path

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  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
    Newscorp

    You have a global empire of cows.
    None of them are cows, they're bulls.
    You publish and broadcast the sh!t the bulls produce.
    Signature
    Arguing with an idiot is like playing chess with a pigeon.
    It'll just knock over all the pieces, poop on the board, and strut about like it's won anyway.
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    • Profile picture of the author Kay King
      Based on the info above I've decided to live in Italy.
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      Every child needs a pet because every family needs an optimist

      Saving one dog will not save the world....but will forever change the world for one dog.
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      • Profile picture of the author pickthat apple
        not too bad of an idea since even the immigrants are leaving now...
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        • Profile picture of the author Riptor
          There are plenty of mad cows in the Uk ...
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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    CORRECTION:

    A CHINESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You do everything a US corporation does but call it, "Socialism with Chinese characteristics."
    You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
    Signature

    Project HERE.

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  • Profile picture of the author Big Rob
    Originally Posted by Ken_Caudill View Post

    Right Wingers -- continue and expand the exploitation of cows for milk and blame liberals for the milk shortage.
    Fixed that for ya
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    • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
      Originally Posted by Ken_Caudill View Post

      Conservatives -- outsource milk production to third world cows blaming bovine welfare state created by liberals
      Another one fixed for ya.
      Signature
      Arguing with an idiot is like playing chess with a pigeon.
      It'll just knock over all the pieces, poop on the board, and strut about like it's won anyway.
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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    Originally Posted by Ken_Caudill View Post

    Liberals -- end the exploitation of cows for milk and blame George W. Bush for the milk shortage.
    Hey, is that why there are so few bushes nowadays?
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    Project HERE.

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  • Profile picture of the author Kurt
    WSO

    After buying a cow you discover you need to get an OTO for a second cow to actually get milk.
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    • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
      Originally Posted by Kurt View Post

      WSO

      After buying a cow you discover you need to get an OTO for a second cow to actually get milk.
      You forgot to read the disclaimer: Actual milk production may vary from the examples given. Some may experience no milk at all.
      Signature
      Arguing with an idiot is like playing chess with a pigeon.
      It'll just knock over all the pieces, poop on the board, and strut about like it's won anyway.
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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    The Japanese improved on American cows and produced Cowasakis.
    Signature

    Project HERE.

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    • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
      Originally Posted by thunderbird View Post

      The Japanese improved on American cows and produced Cowasakis.
      Where did they put the groan button?
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      If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay for another five minutes.

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  • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
    The hoi polloi:

    Wait for their favorite news channel to talk about the cows so they know what to think. :rolleyes:
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    Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.

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    • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
      Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

      The hoi polloi:

      Wait for their favorite news channel to talk about the cows so they know what to think. :rolleyes:
      Average city dweller:
      What's a cow?
      Signature
      Arguing with an idiot is like playing chess with a pigeon.
      It'll just knock over all the pieces, poop on the board, and strut about like it's won anyway.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jared Alberghini
    I would trade one for some magic beans. [Magic-ism]



    .jrd
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    Join The Future: Telekinetic Marketing

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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Originally Posted by Ken_Caudill View Post

    Liberals -- decide milk isn't good for you so take away everyone's right to own cows.
    Here's the correct version.
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    Sal
    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
    Beyond the Path

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  • Profile picture of the author Kurt
    Conservatives - On the promise of cattle, spend trillions of dollars invading Middle Eastern countries and don't find a single cow.
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