Burning age old question finally answered:

11 years ago

I thought it was gonna be about the chicken and the egg. I don't think I know the question that has been answered by that pic.

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HeySal

11 years ago

Oops - didn't think about this being funny only in the US.

The question is "does a bear sh** in the woods?"

It is an answer you give people when they ask a ridiculously obvious question, or a sarcastic answer to a regular question -
Example: "Is it still raining there?" Answer "does a bear sh** in the woods?"

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Sal
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Claude Whitacre

11 years ago

Originally Posted by HeySal

Oops - didn't think about this being funny only in the US.

The question is "does a bear sh** in the woods?"

It is an answer you give people when they ask a ridiculously obvious question, or a sarcastic answer to a regular question -
Example: "Is it still raining there?" Answer "does a bear sh** in the woods?"

I think this deserves further investigation. Was the bear hired to sh1t in the woods? Does the bear own the property?

Was the whole thing staged? Is the bear an actor? Was he paid?
Is this a female bear? (after all, it's sitting down).

Is it possible the bear is simply resting?

How do we know the bear didn't create a false backdrop, in it's apartment, to look like the woods.

After serious analysis, I see that the shadows don't line up. The species of ferns in the background don't grow in the same climate as the trees. And this photo was taken in Florida. This species of bear doesn't travel to Florida....except on vacation.

AND......sh1tting in the woods is a crime. Where are the police? Why don't they do something about this rampant public indecency?
This is why they call it "Bear Naked"! It's an atrocity.

Look at the look on the bear's face. It feels guilty. I don't blame the bear...after all, this is bear porn. Maybe it's the only work the bear could get.

What if the bear's children saw this?

And who took the picture? Huh? A bear stalker? Is this bear an exhibitionist?

I'm getting to the bottom of this. This is merely the beginning of this story.

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HeySal

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre

I think this deserves further investigation. Was the bear hired to sh1t in the woods? Does the bear own the property?

Feel free to go challenge the bear about property ownership. My guess he'll emphatically tell you that it is his. If this happens, do NOT argue with him about it.

Was the whole thing staged? Is the bear an actor? Was he paid?
Is this a female bear? (after all, it's sitting down).

Staged or paid - it took place, so fundamentally answers the question. The new question is the bear's motivation for doing so.

Is it possible the bear is simply resting?

In a half squat? Not very comfortable choice of positions.

How do we know the bear didn't create a false backdrop, in it's apartment, to look like the woods.

Back drop runs behind - not below or in front of.

After serious analysis, I see that the shadows don't line up. The species of ferns in the background don't grow in the same climate as the trees. And this photo was taken in Florida. This species of bear doesn't travel to Florida....except on vacation.

OMG - step away from the computer and go outside. Look around. Actually - I don't see ferns - and ferns do grow in diciduous forests that also grow these trees. As far as "taken in Florida" - I don't see any evidence for that one.

AND......sh1tting in the woods is a crime. Where are the police? Why don't they do something about this rampant public indecency?
This is why they call it "Bear Naked"! It's an atrocity.

I talked to the bear. As far as he is aware, there is no such law pretaining to animals - however, it is illegal to feed them in some locations, which actually cuts down on how many times a bear might poop in a woods. He was concerned, though, so I gave him your address and told him you will be more than willing to share your facilities with him.

Look at the look on the bear's face. It feels guilty. I don't blame the bear...after all, this is bear porn. Maybe it's the only work the bear could get.

I think that's agitation. What would your expression be if you saw someone with a camera on you in such a position?

What if the bear's children saw this?

They'd know not to step there.

And who took the picture? Huh? A bear stalker? Is this bear an exhibitionist?

Relax - it was in the name of science. Someone probably got a huge chunk of grant change for this research.

I'm getting to the bottom of this. This is merely the beginning of this story.

Well, just be careful on your investigations. I hear there's a lot of Big Foots (Big Feet?) that travel in that country, too.

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Sal
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Claude Whitacre 11 years ago

Originally Posted by HeySal

Well, just be careful on your investigations. I hear there's a lot of Big Foots (Big Feet?) that travel in that country, too.

HeySal; One of the smartest and genuinely witty posts I've ever read. Thanks for playing.
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- HeySal 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre
  
  HeySal; One of the smartest and genuinely witty posts I've ever read. Thanks for playing.
  
  You weren't so bad yourself. That was a fun. We SHALL meet again elsewhere. Come prepared!
  
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  Sal
  When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
  Beyond the Path
  
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  Kay King 11 years ago
  
  If you meet in the woods, watch where you walk....
  
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Kurt 11 years ago

Originally Posted by HeySal

The question is "does a bear sh** in the woods?"

Not if it's a polar bear.
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travlinguy

11 years ago

Gonna have to come up with a new "age old" question. I vote for, "Is a frog's assh0le waterproof?"

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whateverpedia

11 years ago

What about, "Is the P*pe a c*th*l*c?"

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Dan Riffle 11 years ago

Originally Posted by whateverpedia

What about, "Is the P*pe a c*th*l*c?"

I prefer, "Does the Pope wear a funny hat?"
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lcombs

11 years ago

Is the bear Catholic?

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Dan Riffle 11 years ago

Originally Posted by lcombs

Is the bear Catholic?

He could be in Mass...

Sit, kneel, stand. Sit, kneel, stand.
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Ken Leatherman

11 years ago

Hey Sal,

You and Claude rocked it. Way to go du-dett and dude.

Ken

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bizgrower

11 years ago

A friend of mine was walking home from a bar in our mountain community.
He stopped by a trash dumpster to... um... get rid of some beer, and the next thing he knew he was face to face with a bear that was foraging in the dumpster.
He sobered up very quickly and made record time getting home.

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HeySal

11 years ago

Originally Posted by bizgrower

A friend of mine was walking home from a bar in our mountain community.
He stopped by a trash dumpster to... um... get rid of some beer, and the next thing he knew he was face to face with a bear that was foraging in the dumpster.
He sobered up very quickly and made record time getting home.

Was he in the woods when he pooped himself?

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bizgrower 11 years ago

Originally Posted by HeySal

Was he in the woods when he pooped himself?

I'm pretty sure he made it home for that part. Dan
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Burning age old question finally answered:

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